jdmama911

Im frustrated and mad at myself! I quit smoking back in May. I did this because I was sick of the consequences of being a smoker. It was also ruining my relationship with my husband, and I didn't want my son to think smoking was ok. I held strong and didn't even look back. Until 2 weeks ago...I was literally dreaming about smoking, then came the cravings. Well, 2 days ago I broke my non smoking streak. I of course am completely hooked already. I started Wellbutrin this morning, and hoping that will help the cravings....but I fear it's cross addiction. Im raising the white flag. I've never been a fan of shrinks...but at this point I don't know what to do. Im calling my ins. on my lunch hour. Im praying there is an addictionologist that I would be covered to see. Anyone else struggling with cross addiction?

If you think that your honest story of weight loss will help a heavier friend, then I think you should tell them! I have been an open book about my surgery. I even told all 5 football coaches of my sons team that I was having the surgery. Because of my openness, I've had 3 people tell me that I personally have inspired them to do something about their weight. 2 of the 3 are in the beginning process of weight loss surgery. I feel like our stories are a duty to share to someone who may gain from it. I didn't consider the surgery after my mom had it, but after meeting 2 women that had the surgery I began to consider WLS as a viable option. I don't know if I would have considered it if I hadn't met those women. I wish I could go back and thank those ladies (I met both randomly as strangers who struck up conversations with me) for telling me their stories.

I'm down to 187. My highest weight was 335. When I see someone who is very big or larger than I was, I tend to feel empathy toward them. I also can't stop thinking about myself at that weight. All the baggage I carried around, and how much I hated being in public. I try not to do the things to heavy people that bothered me. ie: people didn't like to stand near me in a line, they would avoid the aisle I was in because they didn't want to squeeze by me, not many people smiled at me or made small talk. etc. Those types of things have ceased now that I'm down to a more "normal" weight. The world is a lot friendlier, and I try to extend that to people that give me these flashbacks. I have noticed more heavy people being more cynical toward my friendliness recently though (as someone else mentioned). It will not deter me. I just hope they can one day find answers as I did.

I haven't been on here in awhile. Life has been crazy busy though! Here is a pretty current day after surgery pic and a now pic. Life has been pretty good. The thoughts below are underlying thoughts that I know need addressed and I'm not sure where to start or even if it's as huge of a issue as I'm thinking it is. I'm scared though. I'm scared because my husband is so in awe of my success he is slightly blinded. If I slip up he doesn't see it. I'm not where I expected yet and don't want to be content. I'm down to 195. I mean, if in a few years, I ended up at this weight and this is where I was happy eating I would be fine, but I have never been lower, and would like to see if I would be happy maintaining around 175. I really am happy with how things have been going, until the last couple of weeks. My weight loss is staying on a consistent pattern, but I haven't been as vigilant with my eating habits. I'm eating more junk food and allowing it to be in the house. I know it's a slip up and will be fixing it the second company leaves on Friday. I'm also scared because I caught myself emotional eating this weekend after my husband quit his job. He has some temporary jobs/work that is off the books, but this job loss was sudden and he didn't have time to secure a real job before he quit. Ugh, my PA told me at my last check up that I need to give myself more credit for the weight loss. I have been successful on a lot of fronts, but fear and self doubt still are a big battle for me that I haven't been able to conquer yet. This part of the journey is a lot more difficult for me than any part I've experienced yet. Sorry if I'm not making much sense, but I've been up since 6am, tired, and reflecting on my eating habits this weekend which alarmed me...Carry on HW: 335 9/11/13 SW: 297 CW: 195 6/8/14

Too early I think! I was allowed a little at 1mo., and he is more relaxed about alcohol than a lot of surgeons.

My mom had gastric bypass about 5 years ago. She dropped about 60-70lbs quickly and then stayed at the upper 190's for almost 2.5 years. In the past 6 mos. she has dropped all her weight! She did change her eating habits (not super drastically though), but it just like clicked for her with her body. She went to the doctors last week and weighed 135lbs. and the doc. told her to NOT LOSE ANYMORE WEIGHT. She went clothes shopping and fit into a pant size 6! Don't give up and keep plugging away.

It may help for you track a couple of days to see your calorie intake. I'm sure it's still low though. You should be getting increase hunger here and there as you aren't at full capacity until 7-9mos? That happened to me. Just me mindful that your new hunger isn't head hunger. If it is, find a way to fight back. If it's true hunger, can you eat another bit of Protein at dinner to see if that will keep you full longer. Otherwise, make a smart snack option and build it into your day. (I get hungry about an hour before bed, and that is my time of the day to eat 1 handful of nuts. It gives me some protein and allows a small snack that I feel good about eating. Hope my rambling helped HW: 335 Program entrance: 312 SW 9/11/13: 297 Today's Weight: 194

Unfortunate events and "mistakes" alike are our chance to learn and change and grow. They are learning opportunities in my eyes. Mistakes/bad things happened, so don't dwell on it regretfully. Instead, look back with perspective and eventually hindsight. That way you aren't strung up on bad feelings, and instead you grow. I'm embarrassed to even say this. No one in my family even knows this happened. What got me to consider vertical sleeve surgery was when I hit rock bottom just over a year ago. My fat a** broke a toilet seat while I was at my moms. No one was home when it happened. I ran out and bought a new one to replace it. It didn't match at all though. I had to make up an elaborate story about how I stood on the seat to change a light bulb and I fell, and when I fell I broke it because of how I landed. I was so utterly disgusted with myself. I spent a week mourning over the fact that I had let myself get that fat. Today, I'm thankful that happened to me. It woke me up and told me I needed to take control before I wasted another 30 years of my life struggling only to end up fatter than before. I honestly have lived better and had more fun in the last 3 mos. than I have in the past 3 years. HW: 335 Program entrance: 312 SW 9/11/13: 297 Today's weight: 194

Stalls are normal. I stalled 3 times in the first 4 mos. now I tend to not lose for 2 weeks, then drop (In the beginning 10-15lbs.) 5-7lbs. quickly and the cycle repeats. HW: 335 Entered program: 312 SW 9/11/13: 297 Today 5/24/14: 194

I DEFINITELY have days like this. It actually seems to be more of cyclical thing for me. Like that's just the way my system works. I test with lean grilled chicken, and have days where more than an oz. at a time is too much, and days where I can eat 4oz. I never seem hungry and have more occupancies of suddenly feeling weak because I have forgotten to eat for most of the day. I don't have problems with drinking however, so I just be sure to stick with g2 on my non hunger days. I don't usually eat as much Protein as I'd like on those days, as fruits/veggies sit better in my stomach. But within a couple days I get hungry and am able to eat Proteins and other foods fine, then back to the non eating again. I discussed this with my surgeon's PA at my last visit. She didn't seem concerned about it, especially considering this has been going on since I started on soft foods (I'm now 7.5 mos out). It's been working for me so I'm not questioning it

G2 is fantastic! It will get you right out of dehydration. I use it every week. I'm good with my fluid intake most days, but then I'll get extra busy and forget for a day. I start getting dizzy and lightheaded. I drink my G2 for a day or 2 and start my cycle over again. It really does help.

Mirena was a TOTAL NIGHTMARE for me. It hurt badly going in. I was in pain for days. Then, every time I got my period the cramps were do bad that I had to actually call off work every month. I would just curl up in a ball and cry it got so bad. I suffered with it for a year. Now, my husband has a vasectomy. One of the top 5 days in my life was the day I got that thing out. I have 1 child, but I gave birth via C Section, so no help there on the pain.

So you smoked all through pre-op and 5 months post-op? Did you tell your surgeon you smoke?No, I never told the surgeon, and yes I smoked just about every day during the entire process. I'm currently looking at a possible job change, so Ill have to stop my self medication and go on the pills for awhile. I'm definitely not psyched about it, but if I want to find the perfect job I have to be able to jump through the hoops. Ohio isn't very friendly about things like marijuana, so that's why I kept it from him.

I smoke it instead of using anti depressants. It evens me out mentally without all the insane side effects of pills. Anyway, I smoked up throughout my pre op and an 5 mos. post op doing great. I do occasionally get the munchers, but I eat healthier Snacks if that happens. I'm doing "excellent" according to my surgeon. It helped A LOT after surgery. I had trouble getting in fluids for quite awhile. But, after smoking I would have a little dry mouth and was able to tolerate more liquids. PM me if you ever want to

I eat beans all the time. My NUT said eating lean chili is good for you. I'm down 93lbs. since July 13.

That Whoaaa moment? While I have not seen the total difference quite yet (down 90lbs), I have had friends that...shall we say were a little over supportive. I mean I was 312lbs. at 5'3 3/4". That's big, and by the time I'd lost 15 lbs. I started getting "OMG you look FANTASTIC! You must have dropped at least 2 sizes!!" ?? Really? My weight fluctuated near 10lbs. on a daily basis b****. I was and still am very public about my surgery. The amount of support I have received is amazing, but at the same time Im over it, kind of. I feel like some of it is over dramatized. Every time I walk out of the door right now, I know Im going to be talking to someone about the surgery. And while Im not embarrassed about my surgery, I hate when someone starts talking loudly around complete strangers about it. It just irks me sometimes that people don't think some of those things through. I doubt they would like it if I started loudly talking about their colonoscopy with complete strangers around. I guess I feel like a spokesperson :/ I'm sure given a year a so when I've steadied, in weight, it will slow down with the ridiculous amount of (maybe fake?) compliments and questions. I do talk about the surgery because its new and it's what's going on in my life. That doesn't mean I want to hear how fat I was on a constant public basis. Although, I think I have "inspired" one person to look into WLS for herself. That is awesome to know. Ok, I think Im done whining about my overbearing support now.

I paid 25,000 out of pocket for the surgery without insurance. My insurance covered all of the testing from other doctors, but my co pays added another few hundred onto the bill.

I get hungry about every 3 hours. I try to eat more at lunch and dinner. For my breakfast and snacks I don't eat too much.

I know how you feel!! When I started looking into the surgery, I thought I had read I was covered under my husbands insurance. I had researched, watched the seminar online, seem a billion pictures about the surgery, I even filled out tons of forms for the doctors office, and had discussed at length with my Primary Care doctor about me having the surgery. I was devastated when I got the call that my husbands employer had an exclusion for ANY WLS. I spent a few weeks thinking that I would have to wait on the surgery. But, after discussing it with my husband, we decided it was worth the price of a new car. My body needed a "new car". We started getting loans. We ended up with a couple smaller loans, and a couple of family loans that are letting me wait on paying them until I get the smaller loans payed off. This was an expensive way to do it, but I would do it again for myself or my husband (if he ever needed it..It's doubtful though, he works a physically hard job and eats relatively healthy). Now, I have read more about Mexico since my surgery. They are WAAAY cheaper. But, DO YOUR RESEARCH and MEET online before selecting a doctor. Go to a very well known place! There are definitely reputable places down there. My husband and mother were very upset about it when I first brought up the possibility of plastic surgery down there. But, I think I have my husband convinced (only one Im worried about caring). So, I'll be researching in a year or 2 I hope you find a way if this was truly what you wanted.

I'm 5 mos. post op. I have no restrictions at this point from my NUT. Im allowed everything, there was no absolutely never again ruled...which works well for me. Here is a typical day for me B: yoplait light-very cherry (sometimes I can get a whole one down, but sometimes I only manage 1/2 of it) L: (frozen food) Amy's organic cheese enchilada (meal comes with Beans and corn. I only eat the enchilada and maybe 1 bite of the beans) S: 1/2 serving Beef Jerky, 1 small handful of almonds D: (whatever my family has!!) tacos-I can eat one taco with about 2oz. of meat, cheese, spinach, 2 teaspoons light sour cream, 2T of salsa. I usually have a couple tablespoons of refrained beans mixed with a T or 2 of salsa. Another dinner Spaghetti (I take about 7-10 thin spaghetti noodles, 1/2 c. Heart smart Pasta sauce (or chunky garden) with ground beef and green peppers added to it, and a serving of Parmesan cheese on top. I tried a bite of garlic bread once, but it filled me up too much, so I probably wont eat Garlic bread again. (I used to eat a LOT of garlic bread pre op lol) Another dinner pizza. I can't stomach the crust on most pizza anymore. I can only handle thin crust pizza. I can tolerate any toppings, it just has to be on a thin crust. I can eat 1.5 pieces of a medium on a heavy eating day, and sometimes I only tolerate 3/4 of a piece. S: 1/2c. Diced cucumber, 2T. croutons, 1/8c. mozzarella cheese, 1 teaspoon Light ranch, 1T light Italian

Height 5'3" Age 32 Pre Op (July 2013): 312 Day of surgery(9/11/13): 297 1/22/14: 230 I have noticed chairs getting roomier. Oh, and bathrooms! People in public (strangers) actually will talk to me now..Im no longer a total outcast from society. I wasn't expecting that so soon, as I haven't been treated well in public in a long time. Not that anyone (other than maybe 2 or 3 TOTAL rude a&$hats) was outright rude to me. But, people will now sit by me on a bench, stand close behind me in a line, strike up a conversation with me in line etc. I didn't realize how my weight had affected so much of my day to day until the last few weeks. Im more of a "normal" weight again I guess..fat yes, but not 300+lbs. fat. I now eat for a reason. A reset button has been pushed, and I feel like a child learning how to eat again. This time it isn't full of fast food, butter, and endless carbs. I don't feel guilty if I have a treat anymore because I don't do it often, or overeat (thank you sleevey). Im enjoying my day to day life again in a lot of ways. I overheard my son (on my birthday a couple weeks ago) tell my mom he was proud of me Im having to face how I ate before, and how I taught my son My son is learning the right way now though, and I've watched his habits begin to change. My habits have completely changed. I now eat a yogurt almost every day for Breakfast. (Pre surgery...I had maybe 3 yogurts in my life). And, it's not that I particularly love the stuff...But Im eating it for real reasons...and those reasons don't include it tastes good (the only reason I are what I ate Pre surgery). (I have always been heavy. I sat around 225 from 7th grade until I was in my early 20's..when I went way up) One of my elderly clients (I've worked for her for 4 years) doesn't recognize me until I get close to her because Im so "thin" now lol I'm actually scared to see what I will look like thin, because I haven't the slightest clue what I really look like (how absurd lol). I have a long journey ahead. I'm struggling with cross addiction. I began smoking a few weeks ago. (I quit about 4 mos. before surgery). I started blowing up at the drop of a hat..It got so bad that I almost lost my job. That day I started smoking, and my temper tantrums stopped. I am however in the process of getting counseling through an addictionologist. I cannot lose my job, so for now I smoke. I will be looking for new employment when I get down another 50lbs. Interviewers will take me more seriously with a good résumé and not being grotesquely fat. Yoga is HARD! But now that I feel so much younger, I can attempt to actually do it without hurting myself. My 12 year old and I chase each other around the house now for more than 10 seconds. I am driving my husband insane by wearing all of his clothes all the time. (But, secretly...he thinks it cute) My husband can't keep his hands off me lol having a good support group is essential to succeeding. My husband and son have been fantastic support for me, and I'm so happy I can pay them back by being happier and more involved (not afraid to go into public...will I fit into the seat at the theater etc...). Cuddling is much more comfy the smaller I get. The sandwich was my dinner tonight. I had the bottom bread toasted, 6 slices of orange bell pepper, 4 oz. ham, 2 tsp. light mayo. I always eat sandwiches without the top now.

Omg, the "food funerals" before my diet started lol I also pigged out big time before my surgery. I hit up my favorite restaurants, my favorite fast food, and my favorite desserts. You might as well enjoy it while you can IMHO I'm now 5 mos. out and down 90lbs. I'm actually being td to eat MORE by my doctor now. We had brownies at the superbowl...I ate 1/2 of one and was fully satisfied and gave the rest away. You'll see you can still have what you like post surgery, you just won't have an insatiable appetite anymore..Now you will have a birds appetite lol

Psych eval, was 2 looong tests for me. Same as everyone else. I was told I'm extremely passive aggressive (really?? Who would have thought?? Lol) But, I had a dot down with the psychologist a week after the test, he told me the results and basically asked about my support, game plan, and expectations of the surgery. As for the NUT appointment. It can be very intimidating meeting with a stick thin woman to go over your eating habits. My NUT had me keep a food journal and started me on a 1200 calorie diet. My first instinct was to not write down any mistakes on my food journal. But I did, and for me it worked out excellently. My mistakes led to better education with my NUT. She learned my downfalls, and taught me what to do about them. I am so grateful that I decided to be honest with her. I have a better understanding of nutrition from my time with her. At my center, we had to have at least 3 visits (up to the NUT if more was needed) with the nutritionist and had to drop 15lbs before being cleared by the NUT for surgery. As this is a new starting point, I encourage you to be as open and honest about your emotional and eating habits. It's hard to admit those things, but you can't truly heal from those mistakes until you allow yourself to get help. I wish you the best of luck:)

The closest support group is a 40 minute drive. I just don't have time to drive to that. I use BariatricPal as a support group. I also have a couple of other WLS people in my life, and I have leaned on them plenty. If there was a local support group, I certainly would get out to one.

I can't believe how quickly things have changed for me. I'm only 4 1/2 mos. out, and with my weight still being at 225 (sw 297) it floors me. My son and I have a better relationship. We play and cuddle a lot more. Same definitely goes with the husband (waay better romantic life as well!!) Im gaining more confidence already. I have already gotten rid of just about every piece of clothing I owned (Im too small!!) My life has changed for the better. My day to day aches and pains are becoming less and less by the day (it seems). Ok, Im not thrilled about the hair loss, or the struggle to keep myself hydrated. But I signed on knowing these things, and would still have the surgery again today.