This is my second marriage. My first husband died suddenly, and I was overweight at the time. Out of stress and depression I immediately lost 50lbs. That made me feel better physically, so I started seeing a personal trainer and really taking care of myself. I had two children. About a year after my husband died, I met my current husband who started out as just a friend. When things started to get a bit serious, he expressed that he was concerned about my weight! I had lost 100 lbs at that time and was really feeling good about myself. To hear him say this was more than I could bear, so I told him to leave me alone. He came crawling back, and in less than a year wanted to get married. Marriage had really never crossed my mind. He had no children of his own, and told me that he wanted one. I did care about him, and I sort of felt like this was my last chance, so we got married. I knew good and well that having another child and being tied down in marriage would bring the weight back on me. He assured me he would watch the kids for me to go to the gym, etc.. All was well for a while, so when I was able to exercise after the baby, I stared going to the gym 3 times a week and joined a weight loss program. The next thing I know his mother calls me to tell me that he says that I'm always leaving as soon as he gets home. That just sent me over the edge. I completely gave up. I have not felt the same towards him since. Now that I'm about to have this surgery, things seem uncertain, and I think he knows it deep down. He is helpless at home. He does not help with the house, kids, or anything. He does mow the grass, but I do everything else along with working a full time job. The stress is very intense for me. He's always making comments about clutter in the house, etc.., but all he does is come in and sit on his rump and expect me to wait on him. BIG changes are about to take place. I'm not going to be sitting on the couch with him much any more. I'm going to join that gym again and take the kids with me so I don't have to listen to his complaining. I don't really want a divorce, but I am through letting him and other people stand in my way. If he wants to stay with me and see his child more than every other weekend, he needs to get off his butt and experience life for a change. Oh, by the way, he's 40 lbs overweight himself.
Just remember, if you're not happy, no one around you will be either. I know that from losing weight the first time.