sunny2day

I was never a heavy child, I was always normal or thin. As a child my mother was very big on eating healthy and being active. The first time I moved out and got to make my own choices boy did I dive in head first. I remember my first grocery trip was all processed quick foods that either got put in the microwave or thrown in the oven for a half hour. Then I found my passion with fast food. I love to eat out, still do. I started smoking ciggerettes when I was 15 and I was smoking a good pack and a half a day. One day when I was 22, I thought I do not want to die from this, I had better try to quit, so I did. I quit for eight great months. My lungs thanked me for this. (I had cronic bronchitis all the time). During this time though I gained my first 60 pounds. By the time I reached 180 I decided I had better start smoking again to loose the weight, the only problem is I only lost 5 pounds of the 60 and I started up my ciggerette habit again. At this point I was really kicking myself in the you know what. How could this have happened, I did I become the fat girl. I was always normal or thin. This happens to other people not me. I literally remember thinking these things. What a jerk I must have been. It was then I began my very unehealthy relationship with diets and food. I yo yo dieted like the best of them. I would loose 10 just to gain back 15. Each year it seemed that I would gain 5-10 more pounds. Then I had my first child and that did not help solve anything. I was on the see food diet during my pregnancy. I looked to food for comfort. I hated the way I looked but I continued to eat and not exercise. Then I got pregnant with my second child. Now she put on bed rest due to kidney stones. Let me elaborate. When I finally got to give birth I ended up having to have a C-Section because she was breach. It did not stop there, finally 8 weeks after the C-Section I got to get a CT scan done and the radiologist literally wrote Kidney Stones- "Too Numerouse to Count". My urologist guessed I probably had at least 20-30 in each kidney. I had to have four kidney surgeries to get rid of them. So this is about the time I remember thinking I really need to get my weight and health under control. So I really tried to start counting calories. I lost about 20 pounds and I remember going back to the urologist to have another CT done to check my Kidneys only to find out, yep you guessed it, I had more this time then I did to begin with in each kidney. Well this was just depressing. I remember giving up for a few months, so yep you guessed it, I gained all of my weight plus 10 pounds back. Then my mother in law got sick, little did we know that when we took her to the hospital she would be diagnoised with lung cancer stage four and die in hospice at my home 10 days later. This was such a slap in the face that literally I remember thinking, this cant happen she was only 63. How is this fair? I quit smoking a month later. It has been over a year since I quit, by far the longest time I have ever gone. I now consider myself a non smoker or recovered smoker. Well then I started thinking, great I got the cigarette smoking under control, I may live another 50 years if I don't kill over from a heart attack due to obesity. That is when I really decided to look at my struggle with my weight and diets. I really did some, Soul Searching. I remember taking my husbands cousin to a weight loss seminar with me to learn about weight loss surgery. I remember walking in the room and thinking, Im not that big, should I really even consider this. Then I thought no one in this room started out that big, I bet most all of us have gained it slowly over time with no success in loosing and maintaining. I thought if I could just maintain weight loss and feel satisfied. Then after listening to the seminar I thought I need to meet with the doctor and really discuss this as an option. Welll here I am going through the insurance preliminary requirements and hopefully I will be able to get sleeved in Novmeber / December of 2013.