McButterpants

I am a private person - when I went thru a divorce 20+ years ago, no one in my office knew until they saw my name change back to my maiden name - was I embarrassed about getting divorced? No, I was happy to get rid of the abusive piece of crap, it just wasn't anyone's business. There are now six people that know I had surgery - husband, son, parents and two friends. I just told my oldest friend last night. We recently reconnected after a couple of years of shutting her out. I felt like I wasn't being authentic with her when I didn't tell her about my surgery. I felt the need to tell her and finally did. She was supportive as I expected her to be. We had a great talk about it - she is naturally thin, she has different struggles than me. She listened and showed genuine concern and happiness for me. I do not feel the need to tell people I barely know "how I lost all the weight". I just don't. I feel like telling them gives them license to share my story with others - this is my story, not theirs to gossip about. I live in a small community - the minute I tell one of the mom's at school, mom's on the other side of town will know. It's not that I'm ashamed, it's my story, not fat to chew at the pick up line at the school. We are all different - our bodies were made differently, our personalities are different. That's what makes this such an awesome forum. I love to read other peoples' perspectives - I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this debate other than "Do what's best for you!"

Here are a few of my favorites P3 Pack - when I'm traveling, this a great go-to beef Jerky and almonds Pantry Selections Protein bars - Caramel Crunch, Peanut Butter Brownie, Peanut Butter Turkey pepperoni and cheddar cheese

Me on "decision day", 08/21/13 and me last month at 10 months...down 73 pounds.

You're going to be OK - it's perfectly normal to feel nervous and anxious...this is a big decision, it's a life changer. I think it's perfectly normal to have 2nd thoughts. I certainly did - I think I changed my mind 100 times! I'm not sure what the motivation behind your sisters comments about not being successful with the sleeve if you couldn't eat less before the sleeve. I find that coming here helps immensely - we're all going thru the same thing and we understand the struggles. Talking to my thin brother about weight loss issues is futile - he doesn't understand my issues. Even my husband doesn't understand my emotional attachment to food. I can explain it and he listens, but he doesn't understand it.

I used to love a good sandwich - Not so much any more...the bread doesn't make me feel good. I will take a bite or two of the sandwich with the bread, then just eat the insides. Same way with pizza - I eat a couple of bites of the crust, then just the toppings. I don't love the same foods I used to...I don't like or crave Pasta like I used to. I don't crave bread like I used to. "Favorites"...a BBQ chicken pizza made with a Mission Carb Balance tortilla shell. Homemade chili. Grilled steak. Roasted broccoli and cauliflower.

I WANTED my primary care doctor's approval - I wanted her advice and her support. I did fear telling her because I didn't know what her opinion on weight loss surgery was. I went in armed with statistics, weight history (I had only been a patient for about 2 years), lab results, etc. I didn't need them... She was so excited when I told her what I wanted to do. I was self-pay and told her I was heading to Las Vegas for surgery - she asked a lot of questions about the surgeon and how I decided on him. She was very supportive and offered to do anything she could to help me. I think getting the buy-in of your primary care doctor or at least having a dialogue with him or her is important...best of luck

I didn't realize until after surgery how my emotional eating was affecting me. I didn't realize I was a sneaky eater - confronting that while recovering from surgery was difficult. I would eat in secret - I would wait for my husband and son to leave the house, then I would graze. I would stop off at a drive thru and pull the car over and eat the food, then hide the evidence. I would pick something up at the grocery store and eat it on the way home, then again, hide the evidence. I didn't recognize this behavior until after surgery. I was addicted to food - I loved food. I celebrated with food, I mourned with food, I ate when I was happy and I ate when I was sad. The surgery forced me to confront those behaviors - I believe I was trying to escape. I was so unhappy, but I didn't know why. Like you, I didn't have some traumatic event that caused this. I was unhappy and food made me feel better...temporarily. Fast forward 11 months...I can't eat like I used to. I can't do or won't allow me to do that sneaky eating any more. But I also don't have the urge to do it like I used to. I'm not saying I never do...it's there sometimes, but it's within my control. I also think I had a carb addiction - once I detoxed my body from all the carbs, it was easier to not eat them. Now, if I have a day where I eat processed carbs in the morning (say part of a bagel or something), the rest of the day I crave carbs and feel out of control.

I lost a lot of hair - when I say a lot of hair, I mean A LOT. My doc says that not everyone will experience hair loss and some will experience more hair loss than others. There is nothing you can do to avoid it, but you can do things to help with re-growth. More on that in a little bit. She says the reason for the hair loss is your body thinks that hair is "optional". I disagree, but that really doen't matter. When your body thinks that something is threatening it, it will stop taking care of your hair...it's going to expend it's energy, nutrients, etc. on your organs. She said that "anything you lose due to the surgery, will grow back". For the re-growth she approved Biotin and Folic Acid. I used Nioxin shampoo which is for thinning hair. I use a product called Toppik, which is amazing - it hides the really thin spots, it works just like the vidoes show on their webpage. How much hair did I lose? A lot - I started to lose at 2 months and it continued thru the 6th month. I figure I lost probably 35-40% of my hair. It was noticeably thin. I can remember standing in the shower crying as I stared at my hands which were covered in my own hair. I looked in amazement at the bathroom floor after I styled my hair and wondered, "When will this stop?" I'm now at my 11th month and when I got my haircut the other day, my stylist said, "I don't know if it's possible, but it looks like it's growing back thicker!" I teared up. I had to go to a short, layered cut to try to hide the really thin spots and, like I said, I use Toppik to cover up. At the end of the day, was it worth it? Without a doubt! Would I go thru this all over again, even with the hair loss? Absolutely.

@@Sydney Little Merlette, Yep, I actually had and passed three...my original surgeon, local doc for follow ups and actual surgeon. Here are some things I realized post surgery...I was a sneaky eater. By this I mean, I would look forward to being in the house alone and eating. I didn't recognize this behavior prior to surgery and there was nothing in the psych evals that touched on this. I would eat and graze while my husband and son were at baseball practice, then eat dinner when they got home. I think I thought of it or rationalized it as "snacking" - it wasn't, I now know it was "escaping". I would pick up something at a drive thru, pull the car over and eat it, then hide the evidence. (I'm actually tearing up while writing this because it brings back memories and pain.) I never really explored the how or why I got to 256 pounds - I should have. But, you know what? I made it thru - I just think it may have been easier to identify this prior to having the surgery. I think pre-surgery counseling would have helped. Even now, when I'm at the grocery store by myself, I will catch myself eying the candy or a bag of chips and those old impulses appear. I can now identify it and stop it, but they are still there sometimes. I hope this helps.

I wish I had addressed my emotional issues prior to surgery. It was really hard to address the emotional and addiction issues while recovering from surgery. I should have addressed the how's and why's I got to 256 pounds.

My surgeon allowed "slip and slide" food immediately after surgery -- I was approved for soft scrambled egg the day after surgery. I couldn't even eat a tablespoon. With that said, a dense Protein like turkey or chicken is going to be filling - today, 11 months out, 2 meatballs will fill me up quickly. You're still very early out and your tummy is still healing - your capacity is going to be very low. You also need to make sure you're eating slowing and chewing well. There's a free app you can download to your phone it's called Eat Slower, it chimes when it's time to take a bit - I set mine at 60 seconds when I was at your stage. This reminded me to chew. I also set a timer so I didn't eat past the 30 minute mark. Hope this helps.

I brought mine as they instructed "just in case", but didn't use it. I had my surgery on outpatient basis, so I didn't have an overnight stay. I used my CPAP the night of my surgery with no issues.

The night before surgery, I had thoughts of backing out. We went on a drive and we were in an area of Las Vegas that had a bunch of restaurants. As we were driving by I kept thinking, "Won't be able to have that ever again." "I'll never eat another Dunkin Donut" things like that. I felt sad but I didn't know why. The morning of surgery, in admitting, I almost bailed completely. I was scared, anxious, nervous. I thought, "I can walk out of here right now and only be out $500." I was seriously close...Then I looked over at my husband. He didn't say anything, we really didn't even make eye contact, I just looked at him and felt a calm come over me. At that moment I decided to have the surgery - it was my choice at that moment and I felt empowered. I confidently walked down the hallway and began the pre-op process. Once I had the surgery and was about a month or 6 weeks out, I thought back to that moment of sadness I felt when we were driving...I think that was me mourning food for the first time. I now know that I was not emotionally prepared for this process (my only regret was not working on my emotional issues prior to surgery) - while I was recovering from surgery, I had to work thru my emotional stuff...that's difficult to do. I think it's perfectly normal to feel great anxiety about this - there are risks of complications and so many other unknowns like, "will this work for me?" This is one of the biggest decisions any of will make in our lives. It's a life changer.

I am 11 months post-op... I take Vitamins, but then again, I took them before surgery I don't have deficiencies now that I didn't have before surgery. I was on Metformin for insulin resistance, but don't take it now (stopped the week before surgery) I don't have chronic diarrhea. Some days I'm a little "looser" than normal, but usually have the opposite problem which is resolved with some metamucil. I am not to the point that I've lost "too much" weight - I also have not gained anything during my process Here are some other things... I can do 60 minutes of cardio - I couldn't do that before. My blood pressure is "normal" now. I am a few pounds from being overweight, rather than Obese Class III - there are tons of medical reasons that's a good thing. I can do 80 minutes of hot yoga and feel wonderful afterwards. I'm a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, employee, etc. since surgery - I'm a better version of ME I no longer fear flying - I have no issue getting the seat buckle around my belly or hitting people with my butt as I go down the aisle I no longer avoid leaving my house I like being active and healthy - I miss exercise when I don't do it. I am an active participant in my own life - a year ago, I couldn't say that. I am beginning to like myself - something that hasn't happened in my adult life. I say go talk to a different doctor and get a 2nd opinion!

I agree with @@VSGAnn2014 about "targets". I learned quickly that my weight is going to come off at it's own rate and that is not necessarily the rate at which my brain thinks it should. I also gave up on setting monthly goals for weight loss - losing 7 pounds instead of 10 in a month isn't a failure, you failed to meet a goal and that's dangerous for weight loss surgery patients. I went in to this wanting to lose 106 pounds and I wanted to do it in 18 months. I don't know if I will get there, but that goal isn't as important to me as it was a year ago. I refuse to set myself up for failure any more - I have given myself so many deadlines in my life..."Lose 10 pounds before we go on vacation" "Lose 20 pounds by summer" "I need to fit into this dress before the party" Each time I failed and each time I felt bad...and that lead to each time gaining more weight. We all need to set ourselves up for SUCCESS. Make your plan, execute your plan. That means planning your meals, shakes, Water intake, and exercise and following your doctor's orders for Protein, water and portion size.

I "only" lost 18 my first month! You have to remember this is a marathon, not a sprint. The difference between your beer and cigarettes diet and this one is you won't die of cancer with this one. It took you longer to gain 22 pounds than it just took you to lose that same 22 pounds. Relax - the weight is going to come off... At 11 months I'm "only" down 72 pounds...Have people lost more weight than that? Yes. Do I sometimes feel like I should be at a higher number? Yes. Here's what I know "only" 72 pounds lighter than I was a year ago... * I would not have lost 6.5 pounds per month in the past year without the surgery; I would have given up on a diet before now. * I am healthier now than I have been in my adult life. * I feel better about myself, I'm more self-confident than I've been in decades. * I am physically strong - I can walk for hours, climb mountains, do 80 minutes of hot yoga, run a mile. * I am a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, etc. I am more connected to the important things in life. * I have more mental clarity - makes me a better employee. All of those things are related to my weight loss, but not attached to a certain number. Those things started happening at "only" 40 pounds lost. If I don't lose another pound, will I consider myself a success? Heck yeah - I have my life back even if I"m "only" down 72 pounds. Take the 22 pound loss as a success, be happy. Learn to be content. Work your plan and the weight will continue to come off. In another 6 or 7 months you'll look back and wonder "why was I so worried" in the beginning.

I agree with the above - the acids in the caffeine can be damaging to your new tummy. I was cleared for real coffee at my 6 week post-op visit. I'm glad I had to be caffeine free prior to surgery - I had serious withdrawals when I first stopped drinking it and had to ween myself off for a week. I'm 10 months post-op now and enjoy between 2 and 4 cups of coffee a day, back to normal!

I had an easy recovery and flew 7 days after surgery (I traveled out of my area for the surgery) and was fine. For me traveling 30 days after surgery would have been OK, but I don't think I was cleared for heaving lifting at that point, so lugging around bags could be an issue. The actual flying part, no problem. (Even 7 days after surgery, I fit better in the seat!)

OMG Yes! It happens almost everynight for me - it's like there is paste in my mouth.

I think I was 2 or 3 weeks out before I got to my minimums. In the beginning, just do the best you can and get yourself to the minimum when you can. A couple of suggestion to get more in - my doc's office suggested using a flavored Protein powder like unjury and adding an unflavored version as well. You can also add the unflavored Unjury to your soups.

Here's my experience - I telecommute full time from home at my desk job. I had my surgery on a Thursday and was back at work 1/2 days the following Monday, working a full day on Tuesday. I felt OK, but did feel the need to rest/nap or get up and walk around to try to expel the gas that settled in my shoulder. I am not sure I would have been up to waking up, getting dressed and going to the office the week following surgery. During the 2nd week, I was fine, I still got tired, but I made it thru the work days fine. Hopefully your boss will come around and let you take some time off. You need to recover - this is major surgery and you need to take care of yourself. Best of luck to you!

I have done a lot to document my journey... I blog I journal every day - this is mine and mine alone I take many pictures I take my measurements

I am much older than (45 year old) and 10 months out from surgery... First, I wish I would have had the courage to do what you're doing at your age. It would have saved me decades of being unhappy, years of self loathing, being insecure, years of damage to my body due to obesity, etc. Had I known then what I know now, I would have done this surgery sooner. Second, it's completely normal to be nervous/scared/insert emotion here this close to surgery. I was. But again, knowing what I know now, this is totally worth it. I almost backed out of surgery the night before and the morning of, right there in admitting. Fear didn't win that day and I'm thankful it didn't. At 10 months out and 45 years old I am finally living the life I was meant to lead. I'm active, I'm happy, I'm learning to be content, I have a better relationship with my family...wow, I could go on for a long time, but you get the point. My life is so much better now than it was a year ago. You got this! We'll see you on the losers' bench in a few days! Best of luck to you!