EarthyGoalie

Wow! You look AMAZING! Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you. For me, it's the color black... everyone thinks I love wearing black, it's the only color I like to wear, but it really isn't true. I've been wearing mostly black the past few years because it's "slimming" and people don't notice me so much :-/ I'm having the surgery on Friday, I can't wait to lose my 100lbs and wear colors!

I think for me it's more of the "accepting that I have failed." or feeling that having the surgery means that I am a failure because I couldn't do what everyone else does". But you know what, most people regain weight with "normal" dieting, and it took a lot for me to stop thinking "maybe I can try once more" before committing to the surgery. But you know what I realized? While I'm sitting here thinking that I should try harder, my life is not on hold, it's flying by, and my health gets worse each day, and who knows what other health condition I may develop tomorrow ? So I decided to stop all that thinking while continuing to self sabotage myself and commit. And I don't need to explain to people why I'm having this surgery and how it's gonna change my life and what they think about it. So I'd rather blame my recovery if needed on something else. Because very few people know my real struggle with weight and food, so why do they need to know my recovery without even knowing the basics of my life struggle ?

I also just bought some Atkins, even though my Surgeon recommended Slim Fast or Ensure... I just need variety or I'll go crazy!

I know exactly what you mean! I haven't cheated either but I'm surprised because I didn't think I'd be able to get past day 2!

I'd like to know that as well! But I must say I really really want the vitamix. I'm gonna get it soon :-)

That's so great :-) I remember hitting the 1's before and thinking "never in the 200's again!!! Promise!!!"... haha. Good one! Of course I gained back and more! But it's a really good feeling knowing that it is highly likely to keep that promise with the sleeve. So just the thought of that is cause for celebration.

Hello all, as you can probably tell, I'm new to this forum! I just spoke to my doctor today, and will be going through with the sleeve surgery. And I am very excited about this new commitment that I have made, and I must also say that I have been lurking around here for a while before signing up and you guys helped me reach my decision by reading your experiences, your advice, your success stories, and your struggles! But I can't deny that there's a small part of me that wonders "Did I try hard enough before giving in to surgery?"... I'm 25 years old, my BMI is 39. I must also say that I have been struggling, like most of you, with my weight for most of my life, and had become an expert at yo-yo dieting. But everytime I would lose 10 pounds, I'd gain back 20. I remember reaching 200 and doing a diet to lose the weight and told myself "I'll never get to 200 again!!" But look at me now... *sigh*... I do have PCOS, Insulin Resistance, but I also recognize that I have a food addiction and I do overeat... I understand that I HAVE to make lifelong changes with this surgery, and I am committed to that, because I'm tired of being short of breath, tired of being tired after simply walking from my car to my class, tired of feeling like fat will strangle me in my sleep, tired of being obsessed with bad food, diet coke! etc... But as I said, I've read stories from people who have a much higher BMI, and who are much older than me, so I can't help but think "maybe I could try once more, maybe I didn't try hard enough, maybe I lack enough will power to do this on my own... Some people I thought were friends have told me that I'm pathetic to go for this surgery because "all I have to do is keep taking my metformin, eat super healthy, and exercise!" They make it seem so easy, but it is so hard for me.... :-( It was really hurtful and made me feel like a loser that they made those comments... Gee, thanks, "friends"... So do any of you have any advice? I know I will need to start seeing a therapist to talk about my addiction... Have any of you experienced any similar moments?

I am not telling anyone other than the ones I've told so far: my parents, my sibling, and very few close friends (who did not react very well and made me feel bad about it, talking about "you can do this yourself, just try harder, and eat better")... I plan to keep it a secret from everyone else, for all the reasons you guys have previously mentioned as well... However, I have to see many people in that same week after surgery because of a big get together and conference happening in that same week and I'm struggling to find an excuse as to why I may be so tired, why I won't be eating, why I'm either in pain or under pain meds... I know it's going to be hard to hide because all this happens throughout the whole week after my surgery... Ugh... I feel that I don't owe people any explanations, but I don't want to seem like I'm acting weird, or I seem weird and everyone be suspicious and asking what is going on with me... I know this may seem ridiculous lol but I was even thinking of saying if people insisted, that I had some other medical problem lol, (because this thing is starting while I'm still at the hospital) but I don't know what to say. I know that most of them would see it as "I've completely failed", and I don't feel they know my struggle enough to talk about this... and I don't want that kind of tag on my forehead.. :-/

I thought you HAD to have a membership to shop at Sam's, don't you?

Thanks

lol! Yes, do keep in touch! Going through surgery at 9AM on Friday :-) I hate my pre-op diet though, ugh! Can't wait! Hope it all goes well with you!

I haven't had the surgery yet, so I cannot comment on your post except for the protein shake part... Well, sort of... In addition to the flavorless protein powder that you can mix into anything, I'm on pre-op and am already sick of the shakes, but I found out about unflavored liquid protein as well, just one ounce is about 10 to 15 g of protein. I'm not too sure about how my doctor would feel about it, but I think I'm going to check it out tomorrow!

lol, yeah, me either! It seems there are A LOT of people on the 23rd though... I'm getting mine done in Boca Raton, Florida. You?

I'm also scared about losing my hair... My hair is thick and down to my butt, it would really be a sad moment for me :-(. However, the good news I heard is that even if you do lose hair, it will all come back. It isn't a permanent hair loss.

I am really excited and focused and really do WANT to succeed at this... But I have thought about it... I sometimes wonder if my story won't be as successful as others. It almost seems impossible, but I'm trying anyway... I know how you feel... But what else are you gonna do, you know? Give up? That is not an option to me. But I do hope that all our stories are successful ones

I'm on the 27th also!

Thank you all so much! I can SO relate to what you are saying. blackfalls, I know what you are talking about! I have probably spent $5000 in diets, if not more! And RebeccaSparkles, my addiction to sodas is out of control crazy, especially with Coke... And I know how bad it is for me, but just the thought of having to give it up forever makes me kinda cringe. But on the other hand, I'm battling myself, because while cringing at the thought of giving up my soda (amongst other things), I look at myself and feel that it isn't worth doing this to myself and then feeling depressed... It's all such a viscous cycle!! On a different note, I took a leap today and made the appointment for my surgery; My surgery is in 8 days! I'm starting my pre-op tomorrow. I'm so excited and happy to have decided this, but also scared of life after surgery. By the way, on an off topic note, how do you guys write at the next line? I can't seem to press enter, or tab, or anything to write another paragraph lol; what am I missing here?

Thank you all for your answers! I do feel that I need a permanent change... since there's always the "i'll get back on track tomorrow", and then I don't, and then I gain... But from what I've heard, at least towards the beginning, you are forced to stay on track with the sleeve, and I think I need that... I don't believe I will tell anyone else who isn't very close to me such as my parents, my siblings... Like you said mamaplumlee, there's always the "what if I try once more"... :-/ and that has lead me to 240...