Nykee

Update: March 14th Been having a hard time. Been to the doctors alot.. Been having anxiety and depression. Prolly the hardest time I have had in a decade emotionally and financially, but definately not physically, I want to make that clear. My Follow up, fill doctor who is less than an hour from me, totally accomodating and I have complete access to.. happens to have took a month long vacation/training that is out of the country and I happen to be having problems.. SO, I have been forced to try to get the care I need with my pcp, different urgent care doctors and at the ER. This is actually gone very well IMO, BUt not the best.. But better than I could exspect, its still frusterating.. the whole situation. My situation is that I was adjusted on jan. 31, and about a week later I was too tight and I blamed it on my menstral that came early and instead of a unfill, I knew with some steroid antiinflamitory (solumederol) I could ward off abuse of the band for the week or so.. It worked well. Well, I have come to find out, its just too tight.. period.. and every little thing is inflaming it.. and NOW she is out of town till April. I am forced to keep my infalamation down ON MY OWn,, for all this time.. ITS very hard. Keeping my inflamation down, simply mean to keep from getting to the point or staying at the point of choking or spitting up my own saliva... as long as I burp it or gurgle it and it opens up enough at night for liquids than ITS FINE.. BUT.. I have been puking for over a week.. everything.. and sometimes untill midnight and being up for hours.. Two drink of milk HAS to come up. I still bring it up my self.. but that is cuz of the pressure.. and if I waitm its comes up with alot of slime just prooving my saliva was collecting as the liquid was stuck and IT NEEDED to come out.. I think its BAD" to make my self puke every thing out, but it doesnt come on its own, I can feel the pressure, I can feel my band being affected and with every swallow of saliva it build up more and I cant imagine keeping it in is the right thing to do.. I try to drink about once an hour,.. or have some soup when I am really getting hungry and frusterated and I have made a small habit of puking up every thing I ate.. So, FINALLY.. I decided enough is enough and I went again to ask for the solumederal.. (thing is they are hesitant to give it to me, cuz its not a good medicatiion for the obese or diabetic) PLUS they do not know the band and although it has always worked out.. I really avoid going as much as possible cuz its this big ordeal I JUST dont want to or like to have to do.. BUT I went again yesterday,.. I got the 125ml shot and FUCK, I should of NEVEr let my self PUKe for over a week ... There is a point where you get TOO inflamed where this treatment isnt going to work good enough... The first time last month I went in, I was open in one hour and open for 3 days.. the second time I was open within a few hours and it lasted almost 2 days, NOW I couldnt drink without PUKING untill midnight.. then I took the two valium and then an hour later I coulnt drink again wihtout discomfort. Well knowing the solumederal might not be working for me is only going to lead to an emergency type situation (if your fill doctor is out of town and you have no way to get to your band doctor) comletete UNFILL.. and the only option.. and they take it all out as they are not educated here to just take out the 1 or 2 cc's that would help me. This all caused me a 3 hour long panic attack last night.. all this and a few other stressors.. When I got the solumederal.. I was called later and told my blood sugar was 303... THAT, plus all of its implications.. made me panic more and more by the minute and I ended up in the ER. (I am ashamed and embarrassed.. I have a psychology degree and I understand how anxiety works when you have a malfunction in the brain, it makes things that normally you dont PANIC or FREAK out over.. BUt you cant help it either no matter how smart or level you think you are and it gets away with you.. out of controll... anyway.. I really hate that.. I feel horrible.. It doesnt help your healthcare to be known for this as everyone looks at you as a freak and your not taking seriously.. I have always hid my anxiety.. but the attatck last night was one of the worst I have ever had and the others I had I was already in the hospital.. this was the real first one at home.. All I could think about was how I CANNOT let my self get an emergency unfill.. it takes months to build that back up and MONEY I DONT have.. I have lost another 600$ a month in child support last month. (as I already lost 75% of my income in July).... anyway.. If I am down for 6 months.. I KNOW for a fact i will gain all 80 pounds back.. I am not being neggative, I KNOW it will happen cuz I know my self, I know my past habits and whats happened every time.. In order NOT to let this happen.. I MUST keep this inflamation at bay until APRIL ... I must have lots of solumederal till then.. I got my A1c level taken alittle over a week ago.. and it was 8.2 It was 8.2 a yr ago as well.. That means I run around an everage level of 160... THIS IS actully GOOD.. First, its the same as a year ago.. PLUS this is surprising low for a 400 pound person.. who lives on sugar.. I HAVE been very lucky and done pretty good about my diabeties compared to many, BUT.. yesterday afternoon I was 303, last night I was 350, (doctors said so) and then I tested my self this morning and my monitor said 375..(I was certain it was stress that made me high, but this morning I was calm as a cucumber, I had two valium last night and I was Over it.. AND STILL THE HIGH numbers) NEVER in my life have I EVER been this high.... (well only when I had back sugery and they said it was all cuz of stress,.,.as soon as I was home, it was back to around 150 and such again) So.,. this is a huge factor in them giving me the solumederal.... PLUS they gave me liquid prednislone to keep the steroids high in mee... The solumedraol didnt keep me open.. IT DID HELP alittle.. I can sip juice.. about 6 drink this morning and no need to puke it up (absolutely IMPOSSIBLE if I had not got the shot) BUT it is impossible to drink the liquid.. I tried, one vile and I had to chase it with acidy OJ.. and I choked on it.. Soooooooooooooooooooooooo I have an appointment tomarrow at 11am with my pcp.. THESE are MINE and HIS options: #1... Let me come in every other day for a shot of steroidal antinflamitory. (or less as I see necessary, it is very obvious to me when I need it. I will not take anymore than is needed to stop the PUKINg and stop the choking on saliva) My guess would be 80 ml, or so... OR let me take home the shots, I can easily give them to my self.. they dont hurt, they go in the vein or muscle and I perfectly capible.. This is neceassary as upon waking I CANNOT take the liquid.. I cannot take it all day in the anount necessary and at night MY only meal intake cannot be this liquid, plus chaser, AND it keeps you up ALL night long (it really makes me hyper and energetic like nothing else) and then I will sleep all day and then its this vicious cycle cuz it swells upon sleeping, so its INSANE to take it at night.. I must have shots in the AM.. TILL aprill... My levels of 300 can be controlled with insolin for this time.. I was told by the ER doctor that people like me go years at levels of 300 every day and NO IT WILL NOT KILL ME or harm me much to be at this level for a month.. THERE is proof as of just a week ago I had my A1c levels taken, PROOVING I am NOT normally NOR have I been for long anywhere Near these levels.. My PCP has to care more about my band and my MORBID obesity and go against than a month long risk of the solumederal and diabeties he is used to protecting.. HE has to realize the BAND issues NEGATES this normal practice.. #2.... FIND someone who will take out 1 to 2 cc's in an 'emergency type' capacity as no one is trained OR they may not do it in any other capacity as malpractivce fears.. THE port is RIGHT there.. STICK a needle in and pull out a few cc's NOT ALL OF IT.. IS that a REMOTE possibilty?? #3.. Go to ER.. have them pull out all my Fill, as that is all they are really able to do, and are instucted to do.. once its an emergency where nothing can help me. A few cc's will not help anyway... A full unfill will be necesarry.. IF I am not helped.. I will end up having to do this within less than two weeks.. (and two weeks shy of getting my unfill I need) Of course I am in favor of option one.. My appointment is tomarrow.. We will see.. I dont want to feel the emotions, the fear, the panic, the anxiety and the depression.. (that I know can lead to bad places) that I think will happen if he denies me.. I know what happened last night just comtemplating all these things.. Tomarrow it will be final.. I hate admitting so much weak ass shit.. But I made descisons about my life before I got the band.. this is about not being a burdon on my kids and my family.. Well, I am not going to stress today, so enough about that,. I LOVE myself.. I DO I DO I DO... I CAN get through this... ((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Yeah.. this is great. Thank you kimberlilly for upping the time for getting names. I look forward to your pm.. :cake: :cake: :)

I am nykee and I gained 7 pounds in the last week and I am pissed I cant be here every wednesday.... I mean I cant remember to be... I dont even understand this challenge.. (or most of them) Plus there is no way I can weigh my self once a week NOR would I want to.. So, take it out if you need to ,.. cuz I really dont know whats going on.. (I see my name on the chart on the first page.... I dont want anyone waiting on me) GOOD LUCK to All of you~!~~~ (((HUGS))) and Support howeverr you need it..!!

i have lost 17 pounds.. who knows what it will be by july, this is a LONG challange

my goal was to lose 100 pounds in one year as it approached, I realized I better cut it to 75 pounds and realize THATS STILL GOOD. so I did.. I didnt weigh on FEB. 14th as I planned BUT I weighed today and I am 335 THATS 80 pounds!!! I HAVE LOST 80 pounds..! Its too hard to beleive.. I dont mean to clog up the thread.. (It will die soon) I just couldnt help it! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT!~!!!!! *going to change my ticker* tra la la

OUCH and AMAZING I like it alot

notification

I have HUGE stretchmarks on mine... like one inchers.. GROSS:faint:

From Wonkette: Remember, the only thing that we share in common is the band. >>>>>>thats a really moronic thing to say, IMO As if thats all we would ever have in common.. we are human beings here

thank you dody.. your right! (((HUGGS)) and good luck.... I cant imagine how hard quitting must be~!

ok.. I AM not complaining,. at all. But march 26th gives me 5 days to find something for the person and mail it. I wanted to try to do something very specific for that person especially (if it was at all possible) to make it feel more special.. I certainly wont buy something before I know who its for.. I jsut cant be that random.. lol Its not like what I do is gonna be all that great.. its just an in my mind kind of thing. Let me know if there is any way I can have a name earlier.. BUT NO WORRIES AT ALL!!!!! I would not be attemting to do this.. NO way.. Your really brave and THANK YOU.. its gonna be so much fun!

When do we know who our people are? thank you

I had a 5000 calorie day today I had like 80 ounces of whole milk 60 ounces of grape juice 6 hershey kisses 25 almonds spegetti noodles, with butter sauasge, eggs and fried potatoes ketsup, mayo cocoa krispies cerial :help:

I had a 5000 calorie day today I had like 80 ounces of whole milk 60 ounces of grape juice 6 hershey kisses 25 almonds spegetti noodles, with butter sauasge, eggs and fried potatoes ketsup, mayo cocoa krispies cerial :help:

I had about 5000 calories today :help:

This thread made me cry alittle.. I feel like this alot. I ate 4900 plus calories today. QUOTE: If it is used corrrectly it can be very rewarding. If it is abused it will not work. I think we all thought that this band was a miracle and that we would all be skinny. However, that is not the truth. We all know the solution, we all knew the solution before we had the surgery. There is nobody else responsible for the weight that we gain or loose but us!! We are the ones that are in control. If we want to have donuts and junk for lunch that is fine, that is called a choice. However, the band does not understand the difference between a donut or a piece of grilled chicken all it knows it that there is food in its stomach, but we do. >>>>>I AGREE WHOLE heartidly!!!:help:

MY sons date come up wiht this song 1987 ... "Jacob's Ladder" by Huey Lewis & the News and his name is JACOB LOLOL I DID NOT know this at the time.. (I know a movie by that name?) I thought I was being so original. It took me 9 days to name him I had NEVEr thought of jacob until the moment I thought of it and it was FINALLy perfect. Then its like the number one name all these years.. MINE IS: 1971 ... "Knock Three Times" by Dawn I USED to sing that ALL the time' we had the 45 I think

see there cheri know me and loves my posts I want to pay attention to everyone and know you too All I can do is promise to try harder.. I do have alot of down time so that shouldnt be a factor But i also have 4 kids. PLUS.. so can that be some sort of excuse.. anyways,.. I worry sometimes I fail to LURV on the people who lurv on me I cant even keep track of those I pm with.. But I DO LURVE YA!!!!!!! I swear!

wow everyone thank you how wonderful to be supported so THANK YOU!!!

I want to But I cant pm or email or do anything on kimberlillies name I will try later pm me if you can I dont know what to do as far as an exchange goes

its been confusing for me too I slime sometimes.. it doesnt contain the food I ate at all.. I usually make the slime come out on purpose becasue I dont like waiting for it.. its an uncomfortable feeling. It tells me to wait to eat or drink for another half hour or hour. Then take only sip.. and try to manage this by going for a "spit" not a "slime" Thats what I do... cuz I am tight and have to figure out WHEn can I drink and eat at what point in the day. I dont consider any of this PB's.. I have had a couple during complications and These things SUCK HORRIBLY and even if They are way small.. I think they involve.. things feeling stuck and gagging some food AND slime up and taking time to calm it and having to go on liquids and all that.. thats what I think anyway

This site is HUGE I couldnt keep up if I tried There is plenty of room for EVERYONE DeLarla, I want you here. ((hugs))

A... grammer and spelling and typos will be in my posts always and will not bother me and thats all I can say.. if you hate it, you will really NOT be reading my posts. B. I like this board, I use it selfishly. I feel reluctant to give advice cuz I am "a bad bandster" BUT I Do try to be involved in more than just me. I dont see the fighting and crap some are talking about. I like to post what ever the heck I want to post and I wish all others can do the same and feel little judgement.. EVEN when its GAVEN.. cuz thats part of posting what you want.. I dont have a problem with people doing that.. I am guilty of being selfish AND defensive (at times) and I want to (AND I HAVE BEEN) treated just fine.. Sometimes people appologize to me, sometimes people try to defend me.. I embrace diversity... I am super judgemental too... I HATE censorship. I think I avoid the 'fighting' where ever it is.. OR I just dont see it as 'fighting" EVERYONE is different I KNOW I LOVE ALL HUMANS (((LOVES))

I cant answer.. i dont really know what your talking about I am not taking anything.. not even my flintstone Vitamins.. I am an idiot, I know IF I were to be good I would take the Flinstones, and these other pills I cant think of that are surpost to curb sugar craving.. (chromisomething) Also, If I took some appetite suspressant i might be able to wait till 9pm to eat every day like my band wishes I would. I think everyone can do what they want and what they think is best.. (with good info, self awareness and doctors care..etc)

415 pounds, 12 months, 80%, 30 minutes, 6 fills, no diet drugs, white, 80 pounds