Nykee

Thank you moonshadow

Actually--you will be able to get the tummy tuck, for medical reasons concerning your incontinence. The hanging skin ect., "pulls" on your bladder causing it to malfunction. Ask your PC--he'll tell ya. Your surgeon can write a letter so that it will be covered by insurance. >>>>>>>>WOW.. THANK YOU SO MUCH>. I never thought of any possibilities and now from everyones posts I do..!!!!! yipee<!-- / message -->

I think about the "what I can't have's", or how I will eat afterwards. I'm afraid that I'll figure out a way to eat things that I shouldn't because they'll go through without any trouble. >>>>I didnt think of this one bit before I was banded.. yet it has became my way now.. I never drank do much Soup in my life. Afraid that I won't lose any weight at all after going through surgery etc. Afraid that I won't succeed, because I haven't succeeded at any weight loss plan I've tried for the past 30 years of my life. >>>NOw that I was affraid of and still am... But I am adapting and finding my way. How does one deal with all these issues? Does every obese person have these fears? I would love to hear from anyone that has....I need help. >>>I have posted alot on this issue.. the thoughts runnign through my mind, I can hardly keep up with.. I think everyone deals in their own way <!-- / message -->

I have never known anything about retaining fluids in my life.. (just something I am left out of, same with yeast infections, I never had one,,) LOL I know what your saying.. but I gained a pound in a month instead of losing cuz I began eating solids.. (LIKE I KNEW would happen) No worries though I have made some adjustments,, here is one.. I replaced chex mix instead of cheetos..lol arg.. frustrations sorry

Lets post our dreams.. they facinate me.. and if anyone wants to 'analyze them.. go for it.. lol The Purple String.. a dream....Nov. 3rd..1am Three men and a women were at a counter and a significant other was shaving their long nice hair.. two men were very upset, they looked at me alot and one was crying.... there was a judge like person behind the counter ( i was in front of this counter) and this was like some judgement or bet or punishment but was kinda all in ful as well.... The judge was then doing one guy and stopped .. the guy asked "why did you stop" and she said "this one is to dull" set in down and went behind some very white area (significantly white like she was a god more than just a judge) when she came back: she was suddenly frying a hamburger with cheese on it right in front of me (I was thinking, I could not see a heat source on the counter ) WELL, I had a spatula and I pressed down on the patty (to be of help) and the judge scorned me (just a bit) and said "if you ever get a patty thats pressed down like that you must know it never came from burger king" and I tried to fix the patty by fluffing it up but it fell apart even more and I was worried but then: then the judge plopped a peice of honey into the side of the pan.. it made a hard peice of like candy and I picked it up out of the pan and popped it in my mouth. (she meant for me to do this) TRANSITION I was in a closet...I was like a 10 or 12 yr old child and there were about 5 others like me, we were all 'innocent looking' and wore pinofore's and knickers and cloth hats like we were from another time in the past..These other kids were near me (age 8 yo 12? boys? I dont recall) and we were talking about how we didnt like this life and it on a whim we were gonna change it. They knew what that meant and I didnt really. This one girl had a purple string and she had wound it all around the closet area and in each time she wound the string she said something different and I remember looking at the string and all the twists and knots anfd thinking "I can never undo that" and POOF we were gone. Suddenly: We were all in a boat in extrememe darkness, in the ocean and the ocean was choppy with waves and there was water in the boat and I was pretty scared.... I was wondering what all was said during the purple string process to get us here. Transition We are climbing onto shore.. it is still dark. I see The girl with the purple string and she has it in her hands, it has swelled in in size kinda like yarn does when wet. She has a very big smile on her face like this is what she wanted. She is rolling the string up as if she had almost lost it in the turmoil of the ocean and getting to shore. Then its day and I notice we are unable to walk normal.. we kneel. At this time I ask my group "what all was asked for on that string!?" The girl who had done the string said in a very heavenly like saintly way "we shall be near the ocean at all times, we shall always kneel, we shall know the unknown...... (she rambled off a bunch of other things I wish I could recal but i cant. I do recall some were good and some I saw as just stupid and bad to have asked for.) I saw us trying to walk around the town and unable too withouht bending to some extent into a kneel.. but to keep our bare knees from scratching, we tried none the less (this time there was definately a boy with us about 12, he was able to walk the best kind of walk kneel walk kneel) I was the worst and sometimes it was like I was one of those mutants from a foreing country but I still looked like a lovely little girl. There was more we did and I cant remember but soon we summoned the purple string because this was not the way to live.. I was trying to figure out the perfect things to say as I knew I could get us to a good life better than any of these other kids who were alittle not with it when it came to life.... BUT one of the girls just did what she wanted before I could. She said we all were to live like 'sex in the city" and POOF there we were as I was thinking that I have never watched that show, BUT I knew that show was full of grown up things and we were just kids. Also in the dream I was aware we were surpose to be from a different time in the past and not know nor care about living like sex in the city. But poof.. we were in a city and we looked different... we kinda looked like we belonged in the 80's. with blonde hairsprayed do's.. and off the shoulder sweater tops and such..we were in this motel and the girl who asked for this life was sitting at a vanity and she said "Donald Trump stuffs his socks at the knee caps to make his butt loook smaller" And She was stuffing her bra (looking bad like knee caps) and she and the rest of us were still young as before.. I was thinking that YES we were in the life, but we werent ready for this life, we didnt know what to do.... and thats all I can recall.... the dam cat opened the door and I never got the chance to see what I would of done with the purple string...(boo hoo) I went to sleep at 9pm and I woke at 1am and I had to type this out... it was a very vivid dram. A WEIRD PART OF MY DREAM: I didnt want to include this in this dream sequence above BUT it WAS in my dream right after the part where we are roaming the beach community, not able to walk without kneeling... ITS SO CREEPY AND SCARY Well, the this "beach community" we couldnt really leave, went from really campy to really weird when I started to notice almost everyone wore dark maroon dirty cloaks and hoods and were abnormally sized (like alieins) and they carried staffs and they all walked in the same direction, the only way they could see would be out of this slit in the hood, but I never saw any eyes.. Transition... this man is getting into a wheele barrell and pretending he is dead... He is very interested and thinks its really neat thing to do.(like a reporter trying to get an inside scoop). I am just on onlooker and in no position to talk to him.. then later I see where the dead people in the wheelebarrels go.. to a large shed, were I see like 100 black people strung up and being whipped with whips (like slaves on tv) and yet they still seem dead... then I see a white man hung up being whipped, but he is alive (I see his eyes open) No one seems to think his being white or alilve matters,,, I just get out of that area fast and the dream transitions out of that theme // THANK GOODNESS!!

lol teresa Well they DO kinda slip as I drive or sit in a car... I have to pull them up... THATS NEW Ya know the phenominom that you cant feel when your fat is sticking out.. well maybe its just me but that problem is like 10x's worse now .. But no complaints

selfish shameless bump

HEY moderator.. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MOVE THIS THREAD TO THE NON lapband area... (any you think is right) I think that I posted it in the wrong place and dont want it to be a bother.. THANKS A dream from friday night : (sorry if this offends.. i think its funny now that I am over the shock of it) In real life my 14yr old girl had a friend spending the night. In my dream.. I think I am awake and in my real life and I hear her vigerously brushing her teeth in the bathroom (right by where I sleep) and then I hear her friend say "Matt says your breath smells so bad cuz you swallow when you give him a jimmy ha ha" (BJ ya know) Amberlin goes "shushhhhh my mom! stupid!" and my heart leaps into my throat And I wake up It takes like a full minute before I realize that they had already been asleep the last time I rememner and cant imagine why they would be up NOW brushging their teeth. Then I realize i kinda SAW amber brushing her teeth and her friend standing to the side and in real life I wouldnt see it. JUst hear it.. So.. I DID check the sink when I got up to go pee and it was of COURSE all a dream.. The scary part was how my heart really lept like it would have if it wasnt a dream... Funny thing Her friend wakes up like at 3am puking her gutts out and I wonder if I am dreaming.. I am not. and then I ask amberlin if its possible morning sickness and amberlin really screams at me for that and I have to tell them it was my dream that made me be so bold to ask that. virgin this and that.. I am such a blah blah... Fluck.. ya never know these things these days .. she has some funky friends lately! the girl was like 190 poounds.. sometimes they do it at this age.. (GOD I am glad I didnt say THAT to them.. THAT sounded horrible as I typed it) sorry<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

well thank you your really sweet!!!! my avatar is like 10 yrs old (lol) and blurry (THATS WHY I USED IT IN THE BEGINING>> I should change it. and I am at NOW at the weight of my avatar (but CRY, not the age) and when you say pictures.. I only got one up did those great BIG ones I was trying to post come to your guys notifications or something? I am so sorry if so.. lol Thanks so much for saying my white hair gives me style!@!! its all I have and I love it although its so ratty and Unstylish and stands me out and gosh knows what people say behing my back.. But going brown will make me feel so ugly.. weather its true or not.... its what MY MIND will think and I have to focus on that! So thank you so much.. its a little issue in my life and ITS so WONDERFULL to be complimented on it! P.s.. I spend an half hour at the ymca showers TODAY.. with conditioner and a brush (and a chair) to brush it out... Oh what we do for style.. LOLOLOL THANKS again you made my day I havent dated in three months..... and well I wanna... BUt I am stuck in a rut who ever though LOOSING weight would make me feel like NOT going OUT?? ITS weird.. but I make up one excuse after another... to two cute boys and a sexy girl.... and thats not like me.. lol I have a feeling I have stopped dating for about a year.... and when I start again will be more traditional... But this trip to the YMCA was so fun and I feel so clean.. lol I kinda felt the bug, not enough though Well I rambled But you mention my hair and I think of dateing.. lol (that head shot is after a very nice date,,uh huh)(oh and the beanie has a deep meaning to me thats about dating and all that) thanks again

I have resinged my self to the 60% average... I will be lucky to break average and that means being about 220 pounds and THATS FAT to many that they even get banded at that weight i will LOVE to be 199 and its possible to be 150 BUT I WILL BE HAPPY AT 220.!! I cant exspect to beat the average

I also think 'starvation mode' is very short term.. I have lost tons of weight in this mode through my life.. and fast.. I just lost 30 pounds in 2 months (aug to oct) (liquids... mushies only) and then for the last month (oct to nov) I have been on solids.. and I gained a pound. Ummmm NO I rather eat nothing... ya know.. It was a fine two months and I want it back.

YOu dont throw up when you eat too much (in so many words) you have to have lots of self control many say they are hungry ........ many say they are full and saticefied IMO the answer to your question is that you will benefit by not being as hungry..NOT by the pain and trauma of PBs or overeating stessers I been lucky so far so Not be hungry and not care about food as little as I can eat.. But as I read through here, thats kinda rare

I used to always have the runs (well not hard at all)... many many times a day, for many years. I would be on the pot so much I would cry about it and its uselessness and waste of my life.. NOW... the band has made that HELL, gone I am a normal pooper now..lol Once a day and its hard now (yeah) Lots of band benefits huh.. lol BUT I still cant hold my pee Its called stess incontinence I guess I dont take nothing for it, but its embarrssing though no one knows (but you and my kids) I cant hold it is the problem.. if I try it leaks out as I walk to the toilet OR I pee while I sleep and wake up during and cant stop it. this happened last night and like once a week (always my fault for holding it in, but its hard to beleive even to yourself that pee will just run out with no control) THIS is obese related and I cant wait to not have this problem

I will have tons of hanging flab, and I have NO way at all that I know I can do anything about it.. ever. Its hard to think about.. but I guess I wont till the time comes.. I have TWO c cection scares.. the panyline one.. and one in the middle of my gutt.. I havent looked at them for ever I can feel the panyline one when I wash.. its a raise kind of scar But the other one? who knows.. lol

OMG I just went to look at the cloaks I didnt know you meant THOSE cloaks WOOWWW I love em.. what a wonderfull idea creating this business I have a gothic 14 yr old who would be so jealous.. lol I wish we werent poorer than we have been in over 10 years.. It would make a great gift (her BIG gift.. since so far I cant think of anything else..) (we are kinda forgoing xmas this year.. living in a camper..lol) I really really want one..!! your pics make them soooo appealing.. I wanna wear one outside.. and at camp and well.. lots of ways.. MAYBE this is what I can reward myself with when I loose alot of weight! I have a friend (net friend) who says when I loose the weight she will give a 250$ shopping spree at hot topic (or anywhere) and although I NEVER plan to accept her offer... Its on topic.. I can sew great!! I used to make halloween costumes all kinds of things..... I mean I USED to be able to .. but the cutting and sewing is too painfull for me.. BUT as I get well It would be cool to try to make a cloak! BUtthat alot of fabic... how do you make a profit?? anyway WOW THOSE ROCK!

This is cool and so nice nana I dont measure.. But I did take measurements and I shoudl dig them out and re measure and see whats happened.. Kinda hard to take accurate measurements on a 400 pounder.. I know I am not in the challange but I wanna keep track unofficially... here I hope thats OK!! So since Aug 3 to oct. 7: I have lost 30 pounds.... So I guess sept.. to now I could call at 15 pounds... and I am EXTRA excited to see what happens by december GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

Comments to me: I wanna come read them easily the best me: Aw Nykee I think you are just beautiful. You are very brave...it's hard to get that first pic out there, but you have had an avatar pic forEVER! so I was only shocked to see that you are prettier than your teensie weensie avatar pic indicates. I do, however, agree about the couch. Not my fave, and I have NO taste. I wouldn't claim it either! LOL <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->__________________ dessertmom Nykee, If I can figure out how I will post my before pics to.....and my in the middle pics.Girl,compaired to some of us you are beautiful.......You have a very pretty face......Work this band Nykee.You must do this for yourself.The one thing that I know is,well,I am still ugly as sin but damn I am not exhausted anymore....I have way to much energy for anyone to even keep up with me now.....and I am not finished losing by a long shot.....do it woman...it is well worth the effort.....Success with this band is to not live with self condemnation everytime we fail but to just keep going and making better choices all the time..... Nana: I think you are a beautiful woman! Check out my before photos, Do you think I wanted to put out that photo of me in the pink shirt?! No way! If my Father had not of been so Ill, That photo wouldn't have been taken( it was taken at his medical fund rasier show) I'm now glad it was taken! It's a great photo for before and so will yours! Hugs! Nana~ --------- pink mary Hi! i saw your pictures and you look way different than in your avatar! you have very pretty face and your platinum hair gives you style! keep working your programme and you will see, one day you will be the sexy glamorous gal you have seen in your dreams and that it suits in such a lovable face!! Love more yourself you worth it!! harley Nykee - I think you are beautiful already! Thanks for sharing your picture! <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->__________________ <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

all my pants fall off as I sleep too... they never did that before! so yes, changes are a happening even when 65 pounds isnt much for us biggins.. we can still feel it happening

I am running through all the pics right now.. I am trying to get to know people I may respond to an old pic..as I am starting on page one.. plus I will respond to people I recall.. but i am so bad at remembering things, sorry if you know me and I didnt respond to you,, I am trying. Oh also I am reposting the comments made about me before penni erases them, so I can read them any time. Delarla... the change is real obvious Megan.. standing by ther door is a great idea, 80 pounds! wow.. you can really tell, especially in the face, Penni.. i have looked at your pics many times already.. You really inspire me, you look fabulous.. Nana.. post 8 (looks like you were always a stunner.... even before) post 89.. sorry, I think you were real nice looking in the pink! and I WISH WISH (but wont happen) that I can ever look like that at under 200! your sexy..(as I wanna be,,lol) Are you young? Or just young looking? Is it rude to ask your age? Alexandrea... like penni, your new bodies are amazing.. they look so healthy and fit, not just smaller... do you excersize alot? Do u plan for plastic surgery or hav you had any yet? post 43.. your before looks alot like me and how I feel... shows so much doesnt it... and your after is as if its not the same person at all!!!! WOW Letha.. it says 70 pounds loss.. looks like alot more to me!!!! lamadome... amazing! georgeous women was hidden under that extra weight for sure. I love harleys.. you remind me of my mama.. you look fabulous, I love seeing waists emerge! POST 120.... aLL i CAN say is wow.. your HAVE changed ALOT.. The best me.. post 60.. I am unable to see it for some reason.. hope theres more, Infaith.. looking real 'skinny' dare I say dylins mom... looking great.. am I missing how much you have lost...?? bigbellykelly... post 74.. you say you have a long way to go.. but you look great! hagger teresa....... 100 pounds.. and sure CAN TELL!! donali.... has a shape too now.. wow I'llsuceed... post 36.. thats how I have ever always wished I could look.. I would be so happy as your before pic! ruthie.. you inspired me to do a head shot to see how the face can change.. yours in really nice!

what we go through ugh I hope you get better soon!!!

I share cuz its interesting to me...... this is what happens when food addiction dissappears (for me) note: I lost my food addiction after 20 yrs of the worst obsession.... its gone now (3 months) Once a month, I always shopped for the kids at a big store like walmart or winco. It was a big deal... I didnt really notice how much of a BIG deal till now.. On my mind was kids kids kids kids.... its my duty, I must provide well..get all they need and want Its all about the kids and what they want and need and will make them happy and show my ove and care for them. Usually its a 3 hour ordeal, to get as much food for the kids for as little money and sure to get all I need, and look for new things and pick, decide, read lables, change mind, cant decide, get all kids goodies, check the list.... run back and forth....very serious, involved, my store! I read receipt in car like a book and keep it like a prize in my purse. Then all food had to be set at my feet once home so I could go through it and recall what we had and then I handed things to them to put away. I was playing. I was molesting the food. SICK. First time out (in this NEW not addicted to food condition)....to grocery shop for 4 kids..like every month.... Went to my beloved WALMART supercenter I cruised in scooter.....feeling weird, different, not focused.. Now: Here I am feeling weird....then I feel silly and giggling and funny..(not me at all) All i care about is getting my Soup and juice and getting 'whatever' for the kids and out.. This massive thing has now become "whatever" I think "so what if the kids run out of this or that or something is missing or the cheese is gone before the tortillas or the food is gone too soon...they'll cope. (before I saw it as a sin) I didnt find all the kids special things. sweet and sour, jerkey and circus animals.. THIS was how I showed my LOVE??!!! Horrifying.....Just last month this was so important to me! I struggled witht this cuz it seems selfish and not the ways of a loving/ providing parent.. I know MY kids who love food and eat it all, all day long, what and when they want, and cant imagine them going without such a luxery. So how Can I feel so lax?? Simply... I no longer obsess over food... including theirs! WOW A:SP budgeting was my life with food and others... NOW. I didnt care if i wasted money on food.. the "deals" were suddenly no biggie either My weird and silly feelings came from the place a crazy food engorged mountain of a side show freak circus..(walmart) It seemed silly Deals and bins and this and that and food all over and its all so big and bright and stacked and packed and all around you.. scary and silly and Sooooooo NOT where I felt like I belonged. Not anymore.... I guess, I cant help how it now felt.. Its just not me... The next month: What was fun and exciting and a big event to me... is now a chore.. thank god the highlight of my week isnt grocery shopping! I send my kids with a list.. To a small grocery chain (like safeway) The add comes every week in the mail and I choose from whats on sale cuz we DO need to budget of course.... But crusing the food just not something I want to do. My cuppords dont runith over, my fride is never full and we all eat fine.. MY KIDS have not complained, its as if they dont evren notice witch leads me to beleive all the foods I thought they depended on were all in MY head, neat huh loves <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

yeah.. pauls is crazy interesting!!! porc doll, I once woke up with my toe throbbing and in my dream I had dreamed I was bit by this big faced man freak with a ton of teeth! So I know what its like but its not so common with me like it is with you. nana... SOMETIMES I can manipulate my dreams.. and sometimes I can force my self to dream a certain something by the stimulation I have right before bed.. but not as much as you do.. I used to do it alot more. glitter.. I am usually not fat either... isnt that interesting! like 5% of the time I am fat. And I always dream in color.. I cant recall ever dreaming in black and white and I kinda wish I would.. they say thats more common? nana... THATS JUST SCARY!

There.. Now I have a before pic.. (of my face anyway) Sad thing is, I already lost 40 pounds in this pic I think this is JUNE 05 I am down 65 now, but my digi cam is broken. I will get a after pic soon... asap I am most interested in this fat ugly engorged deformed face looking normal again, (sorry.. but thats how I feel, its SOoooooooo hard to post this) I wont post many ugly pics until i have nicer ones to set next to them, I got some dozies... P.S..NOT MY COUCH and NOT stoned~And not pissed off either.. thats just how I look.. its an exhausted FAT lady..

gosh jack Thanks thats jut how I feel about so many foods now just not the chips.... I wish I felt just like you described!!!! in time I hope

I really hope you're keeping copies of these notes somewhere you can get at them again if you need to. >>>its all here. lol After a year or two of being banded, you may start to find yourself veering back into old habits, because the novelty of the way you feel will wear off. >>>>>>>OR just a few months.. Old mindsets can and do come back, and a reminder of how this feels now will be a big help to you when that happens. >>>thanks,, and exactly why i am here posting... I'm so proud of you! >>>>>thank you.. I pray this is for real and for ever <!-- / message --><!-- sig -->