Nykee

Oooops, sorry.. I got afterglow and chicken mixed up.. I am sorry..

afterglow, that kind of PB sounds just awfull to me.. What you describes were like emergencies to me.. I had happen twice.. I am no expert, but if thats what your doing like even once a week, than I think its a serious matter.. I know you havent had a fill and you cant get an unfill but it seems you either have to figure out how to stop those kind of PB' or you will lose your band from slippage or Something.. Sorry if I sound harsh, but your description of your PB's really frighten me.

Oh my, I wish I had money. 6 dollars for 1 cup of sugar free chocolate chips.. I am gonna use this site to see if i can find this stuff in regualar stores for cheaper?? thank you

Wow jack, that was a fun read.. very moving. And no I havent went to the doctor, i cancelld on the account I couldnt get out of bed, but I WILL GO SOON. and my symptoms did improve, but I stopped paying alot of attention as I wasnt home and stuff.. I see that for the last two days... My fat and calories and crabs "after fill" havent changed... and I am thinking that It seems I will get that many fat and cal and carbs No matter what I have to do... I am filled nice and tight, I mean it could be better BUT I KNOW I would just wait till MIDNIGHT to eat .. Like I did before.. Seems I really HAVE GOT to TAKE some personal responsibilty that MATTERS!! I go grocery shopping today.. and AGAIN I will try.. LAST month I bought ALL low carb foods... on my major shopping trip and DID NOT utilize any of it, I dont think for even ONE DAY.. I dont even know how to shop today.. I have shopped every way possible and no matter what I do what I want each day anyway. I have four kids, so I have to have some things in the house,.. BUt usually those things dont temp me.. I have Ramen and PB and J and Mac and cheese and corn dogs and cerial.. I DONT eat those things.. What ever.. I am alittle disscouraged right now.. FOr sure.

Feb. 3rd 2 hard candies one and a half reses Peanut Butter cup One bite peanut butter pie 7 small french fries 4 almonds 10 ounces strawberry lemonaid Half the serving of cheesecake from Applebees half the serving of spinach and artichoke cheese dip from applebees 5 tortilla chips 1/3 cup of tomatoe basil soup One bite of ice cream 3/4 flour tortilla with about one ounce of cheese 10 cheetos grape juice (bout 16 ounces) Milk 1% (about 12 ounces) nesquick chocolate milk (about 12 ounces) Fitday to the best of my ability Calories 2340 fat 90 carb 334 Protein 63 THIS IS NOT BETTER than PREFILL!!! My fill doctor said I could come next week at no charge and get more fill If I want to.. MAYBE I should.

Febuary 3rd. Today I have two 18 yr olds. Its my daughters birthday, she is the middle child. My son will be 19 in Mid March. If they werent both still at home and still completely under my wing and control, this could be a very sad day indeed as I always imagined it would be. Instead I am happy, I am really really happy.. Hummm, TAKE NOTE!:mad: I have to go out now and get reservations at Applebee's and Buy 18 Roses and pick up her present at the jewlers, its an ID bracelet that has ner name on the front and 'happy 18th, love Mom' on the back. I am proud of myself for saving the money needed to make this a special day for her. ((((hugs to self)))) NOTE: I lost 75% of my income in July and we been having HARD times. It is NOT the time to have such luxeries but the kids understand that. But, I couldnt bear to have had to jip her on this special day. There is NO way she exspects roses and a nice ID bracelet. I am very excited. I did this on my OWN too.. (the 75% income loss was a MAN and his money) P.S. My daughter is ABSOLUTELY amazing. Just 18 and a Sophmore in college. I am so proud of her, its hard to put into words sometimes.. She was my middle child AKA the 'bad seed'.. total middle child syndrome. My whole life I had to make it up to her for being the middle child, where my oldest was the BEST son anyone could ever ask for and my youngest was the most precious little perfect babykins I ever needed.. This made her quite selfish, self centered, spoiled and a terrorizing little brat, I honestly thought was going to have major problems in life and grow up hating me and the world for not making her happy or giving her everything she thought she deserved. We werent half as close as I was to my other kids and each year it got worse instead of better. I really resigned myself to have failed this child in a way I had not my others. Why didnt she know how much I loved her, why hadnt she learned to be selfless and humble and happy like the others? This is of course all the neggative, she was far from this horrid, but this was a part of her and the part I am Soooo GLAD and AMAZED and GREATFULL to report was not permanant.. She grew up. All of a sudden, I have this perfect child who outshines the others now.. and she is proud and she is happy and she acts like this life does NOt revolve around her, but around US.. as a family.. and what we can do with our selves in this world and our fellow humans. I could go on and on about what she does, from always bringing in the mail and running erronds for all of us left and right, from having a car and insurence and a job and a responsible and safe and good social life.. NEVER EVER THINk your kids are lost forever.. IF my AShlee could come out this, ANY KID CAN! Beleive in what you taught them and what you say and show them and Of course the one thing I never ever did was stop loving her, and I DIDNT let her convince me that I had... I love her. I just cant say enough. She is my light, she is really the best thing in my life right now.. She is my everything.

Febuary 3rd. Today I have two 18 yr olds. :nanahump: Its my daughters birthday, she is the middle child. My son will be 19 in Mid March. If they werent both still at home and still completely under my wing and control, this could be a very sad day indeed as I always imagined it would be. Instead I am happy, I am really really happy.. Hummm, TAKE NOTE!:nanahump: I have to go out now and get reservations at Applebee's and Buy 18 Roses and pick up her present at the jewlers, its an ID bracelet that has ner name on the front and 'happy 18th, love Mom' on the back. I am proud of myself for saving the money needed to make this a special day for her. ((((hugs to self)))) NOTE: I lost 75% of my income in July and we been having HARD times. It is NOT the time to have such luxeries but the kids understand that. But, I couldnt bear to have had to jip her on this special day. There is NO way she exspects roses and a nice ID bracelet. I am very excited. I did this on my OWN too.. (the 75% income loss was a MAN and his money) P.S. My daughter is ABSOLUTELY amazing. Just 18 and a Sophmore in college. I am so proud of her, its hard to put into words sometimes.. She was my middle child AKA the 'bad seed'.. total middle child syndrome. My whole life I had to make it up to her for being the middle child, where my oldest was the BEST son anyone could ever ask for and my youngest was the most precious little perfect babykins I ever needed.. This made her quite selfish, self centered, spoiled and a terrorizing little brat, I honestly thought was going to have major problems in life and grow up hating me and the world for not making her happy or giving her everything she thought she deserved. We werent half as close as I was to my other kids and each year it got worse instead of better. I really resigned myself to have failed this child in a way I had not my others. Why didnt she know how much I loved her, why hadnt she learned to be selfless and humble and happy like the others? This is of course all the neggative, she was far from this horrid, but this was a part of her and the part I am Soooo GLAD and AMAZED and GREATFULL to report was not permanant.. She grew up. All of a sudden, I have this perfect child who outshines the others now.. and she is proud and she is happy and she acts like this life does NOt revolve around her, but around US.. as a family.. and what we can do with our selves in this world and our fellow humans. I could go on and on about what she does, from always bringing in the mail and running erronds for all of us left and right, from having a car and insurence and a job and a responsible and safe and good social life.. NEVER EVER THINk your kids are lost forever.. IF my AShlee could come out this, ANY KID CAN! Beleive in what you taught them and what you say and show them and Of course the one thing I never ever did was stop loving her, and I DIDNT let her convince me that I had... I love her. I just cant say enough. She is my light, she is really the best thing in my life right now.. She is my everything. :nanahump:

Hummm, trying to think of how to use this Journal to my best advantage. I have always wanted one, on line and I never got around to making one, like a blog or my own website or anything like that. I would like to continue to post as I have on the site, minus my long winded personal rants and such... and adding my basic life details, that I wouldnt normally feel any need to tell anyone but myself, just to have. so.. I think thats what I will do. plus, I will try to log once a day..

Hummm, trying to think of how to use this Journal to my best advantage. I have always wanted one, on line and I never got around to making one, like a blog or my own website or anything like that. I would like to continue to post as I have on the site, minus my long winded personal rants and such... and adding my basic life details, that I wouldnt normally feel any need to tell anyone but myself, just to have. so.. I think thats what I will do. plus, I will try to log once a day..

THIS IS SO COOL. I am always clogging up the site with my crap and now there is this nice place for it all.. Awesome.

THIS IS SO COOL. I am always clogging up the site with my crap and now there is this nice place for it all.. Awesome.

My sister has went from around 200 pounds to 159 pounds and it was all becasue she made a rule and stuck to it to never eat after 7pm and OFTEN not eat after 4pm. She had done everything, including intense working out for over 2 years..and NOTHING worked for her.. Then in the last 6 months.. BOOM, she is skinny and She says the ONLY thing she did different (she still works out) is the stop eating at night.. We are extrememly close in case your wondering about the credibility of her story.. lol

I HAVE seen those 100 calorie packs and everytime I think of buying them (every month since they were invented).. I think "I bet I will eat pack after pack and it will be a total waste of money" and of course wont help to keep the intake down. Thanks girls, you have great suggestions, thanks for your support. Every day, every week, every time I grocery shop.. I know these things, I know all about the WOW and the baked chips (fat free pringles are like EXACTLY the same as regular ones!) and well the TONS of foods that can be substituted for healthier either by way of less sugar or less fat or both.. I put them in the house and then I dont utilize them, I go out and buy chips and candy at the corner store. Grrrr Jack, I always appreciate your posts.... I always come away thinking "if he can do it, so can I" .. I too have gotton into Soups, but I keep getting told thats a mistake.. plus the soups I like are really fattning and or high sugar. (tomatoe, clam chowder)

Thank you alexandrea, you always make perfect sence to me.. Big Paul is right of course, too bad I wasnt at all in the frame of mind to be so damn smart.

fauxnaf) This is the kind of thing Dr. Pleatman was referring to. I find this sad. Apparently he was on the ball because some people do need to be told to move on. I would appreciate his frankness if it were me. Can't wait to be called mean and insensitive. nykee) This is exactly what I was thinking and what I meant.. I understand and do not thinks its mean and insenstitive although I am sure I am the minority, (maybe not)<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->

I love it..!! What usually happens to me is all that food goes to waste as I eat junk anyway.. I am doing it right now.. I had this huge Soup made to utilize as broth, mushies and hearty soup and so far I am not following my plan to freeze and heat it and use it.. (the soup is non potatoe and lower carb and low fat) grr

I dunno.. I drank like a pint of southern comfort this weekend.. The next day i was FINE, no hangover.. at all. Then 8 hours later I am driving in the wind and rain on windy roads (8 hours after waking up, not after drinking) and I feel extremely sick and nausious. Since I NEVEr get car sick, and since I NEVEr have got 'hung over' Hours and hours later.. I was all worried.. I wondered if I was getting a Migrane but it never came (driving a long way) Then I Had to make my self puke to releive the Nausia (spell??) AND this was the first time I have Puked since having the band..and it was sooooooooo weird. Threee HUGE Burps came out... then alittle bit of stomach acid..(I had ate about 1/2 cup of clam chowder about 4 hours before but it was long gone) My date and my daughter had never heard of such a sound in there lives as that Burp slash throw up.. It was interesting indeed. I still dont know if it was from the drinking, but I would assume.. Very different than getting sick prior to the band,.. I got my band a year ago and I dont drink even once a month.. and NEVEr in this whole year did I drink so much as a pint of 100 proof booze and In the past I would of been sick as soon as I got up and all day hungover.. Its real weird how I was perfectly fine for 8 hours after I woke up.. (NO, I wasnt still drunk.. lol) there, thats my alcohal story of the year.. (P>S> I had a friggin BLAST)

Feb. 2nd OMG I dont even want to list what I did today and I certainly aint gonna figure the calories and shit at fitday. I will try again tomarow to eat normal enough to be able to calculate such things,. This is my best guess as to what I did today. I am also going to include my 'band feelings' 10am 1 serving of Wasabi Almonds.. (28 nuts) (this was a mistake, they seemed to be fine, then OUCH, my chest hurt, I just went back to sleep) 1pm 5 hard candies of worthers originals carmel (I woke up, hungry, but unable to eat or drink of course and the candies went down fine, I stopped myself after 5 thinking I would have a "good day" (I WAS WRONG) 4pm 5 bites or so of this broth I made from chicken, carrots, onion and celery (no potatoe) This was impossible and I spit it up. I think I irritated myself with the almonds. 6pm 8 ounces chocolate milk, nesquick and 1% milk. Here I was testing my ability to drink anything.. it felt fine... Sooooooooo The rest of the night from 7pm to 10pm 16 ounces more of chocloate milk 2 cups of my Soup (chicken, carrots, onion and celery) (suddenly I am wide open.. ????) Half a tortilla with like 2 ounces shredded melted cheese (my plan was to chew and spit out, my daughter gave me a bite of hers and it worked real well, so I got my own and found I was able to swallow alot more than I thought possible.. 8 ounces grape juice the insides of a bean and cheese buretto with 1 ounce cheese on it (my child was making one for herself and I asked her to make me one and she said 'yeah right, like you can' and I said "I think I can' and I was able to, but I left most the tortilla and I could feel bits of tortilla in my band, it felt weird but not painfull at all.. I was pissed I ate it, it tasted nasty and I asked my kids how they could stand these things (big bag from Costco) 2 reses Peanut Butter cups candy bars (4 cups total)(went to get milk at store and couldnt resist.. I need to buy the mini huge bag from costco and make a rule of 5 a day OR else I will spend too much money and be too obsessed with this new obsession of mine for the PB cups) 8 ounces 1% milk. 8 large nacho chips with 2 ounces about of shredded cheese and 4 tablespoons Ketsup melted in microwave. (went down perfect, i could of had more but I was sooo full already) WHAT THE HELL?????????? I get a fill and I EAT MORE??????????? 1am to NOw One hard candy peppermint (my throat hurt, then I couldnt go back to sleep, so I got on computer. Two ounces of grape juice (A kid came to the fridge for a drink and I asked for some grape juice in a Dixie Cup (thats how I know the ounces of what I drink so well) and it went down OK, no spitting or chest pain but not super perfectly smooth either. almost 3am and I am going back to bed. I guess I could manage doing that on fitday and I will.. LATER FITDAY approx calories 2570 fat 109 carb 323 Protein 91 GAWD.. Looks like I will just do what ever it takes to get in this average of Calories and fat and Carbs. GOALS FOR TOMARROW One serving almonds One reses Peanut butter cup (I have one by my bed) unlimited milk unlimited juice 2 cups of my soup What ever I order at applebee's (its my daughters 18th bday) I am thinking the spinich and artichoke dip, if I was able to eat those chips and cheese tonight than who knows.. Some Ice cream cake.. minus the cake Hard candies (10) NO KIDS FOOD!!! NO chips and cheese, no tortillas and cheese and NO burettos!!!! NO buying any CHEETOS and additonal candy!!!!!! And THINK hardER about the nesquick .. (throwing it out)

DOES anyone not be able to have even an ounce of liquid upon waking and eat solids by late night?

Geeez people... Here is my thoughts: I am on Government medicade and it was impossible to get the gastric bypass or the band as it was EXCLUDED EVEN with all the evidence and comorbidities in the world (of witch I had..and with the right insurence would of been approved in a minute.) I HAD to self pay and THE only reason I was able to is because I finally got SSI.. and a backpay and I used the backpay monies I received. I could NEVER get a credit card, I could NEVEr be approved for a loan, I have NO family whatsoever that could have helped me. This backpay was the only money I have ever came close to having in the 10,000 range. I WOULD of chose America over Mexico.. of course I would, this is where I live. But I had NO fears or qualms about going to Mexico.. and I still dont. I have been treated far worse here on occasions. I think my whole experience with ORTIZ has been great. I am only a year out. If I erode. I hope I will not blame ORtiz or Mexico in general, if I do it will likely be out of stress and out of control feelings of greif. I know it happens. I hope it doesnt happen to me. I know if it does, it was MY fault for thinking I could spend that money on myself, and maybe shoulda just got my kids a trailer to live in and let my self outta this world fot the better I am not embarrassed to admit, well I am, that IF I lost my band AND I saw NO HOPE of being able to have the GASTRIC BYPASS in place of it (MEANING MY INSURENCE will have to have to be covering it OR SOMETHING that deosnt involve me having any money.. cuz I never will have any.. EVER) I would probably say goodbye to this world. I know that seems so dramatic, but before I got this band and even during the first few months.. I was certain in my head that If it didnt work, I refused to be a burdon to my kids, and this life any longer.. my absence would be hard on people I know, but It would be best after everyone greived and got over it.. I really was completely ready to go.. I do not see death as this horrible thing.. but me and my eventual health complications and lack of self care and blah blah blah.. I am not one to live like that. I want the gastric Bypass.. I dont care what the complications of it are becasue I am ready to not live anyway if I cant get well... This is if my band fails from ersoion or simply isnt working for me (I fear this is very likely) So faR so good, (I am NOT suicidal in the leaste.. I hope thats clear.) I kinda agree with the doctors here, FOr me, its all about losing weight and THATS IT.. Whatever it takes medically intervention.

Jan 21 8pm Cream of mushroom Soup, whole can 1 cup 1% Milk 9pm 1 cup chocolate milk (nesquick) 10pm 1 reses Peanut Butter cup (2 cups in one pack) 1 mini hershey kisses bag 1 cup Milk 12am half of a small 7-11 taquito thingie Cheetos.. 2 servings 1 cup Chocolate Milk FITDAY approximations 2400 calories 107 fat 278 carb 69 Protein

Today I am going to start logging my 'after fill" eating habits.. I will start a new thread though

I soooooooooooooooooo agree Jachat... I Sooooooooooooooo agreee..

I weighed today and it was like 355.. WHO knows with that YMCA scale.. but it seems I am just gaining. But I got a fill and I plan on losing once again!!!

no dissrespect.. but i wish I got fat that way.. Not really but GAWD I feel exhausted with life at the moment and want someone to TAKE CARE OF ME!! (I say not really cuz I have been coddled before and it did me NO good!) wahhh