I also think where you live makes a difference: being fat + almost 40 + San Diego = invisible. Men and women look right through me almost like if they smile at me then they'll some how end up fat thru osmosis or something. I'm a size 18/20 now and that equates to gynormous here, especially since I live near a college and every young thing from around the country seems to live near me. Unfortunately that's part of the reason I am so heavy now - I went thru some really bad break-ups so I thought "what the heck - if I'm fat no man will want me and I won't get hurt again" - BOY, did that work! If only I could use that kind of determination for good and not evil, I'd be in my sexy clothes and actually have a life instead of spending my weekends holed up in my apartment eating my way thru the frig and watching hours of TV. Sigh.