chefcoll

Ok so I'm so close to Onederland that it is killing me. I am a frequent weigher, I weigh everyday that's just something that I do. So I thought that instead of obsessing over that 1 stinking lb, I could make a list of NSV's that I'm happy about, maybe that would make me feel better. So, here it goes:
1. I can fit in the booths at the diner that we go to, no more taking the table just because I could'nt breath in the booths.
2.I can slide the seat in the car all the way up and everything fits just fine. yeah!
3. I can fit in the smallest size hand-me-down clothes that my sis gave me when she lost weight.
4.Now everyone at work is starting to tell me that I look good, have lost a lot of weight.
5. I can wear my grandmother's heirloom ring, it fits me now.
6. I can wear necklaces again and not look like a walrus in a tie!
7. I actually have a neck now, it's amazing.
8. I tried on coats in Wallyworld in the regular size dept, and they fit!
9. I walked around the fair for 6 hours, was not out of breath, didn't have to sit down every 10 minutes and my feet didn't hurt.
10. My singing has improved, I can hold a note a lot longer than I could before, I guess my lungs needed the room to expand that the fat was taking up.
 
Woo-hoo, I am feeling good, OK you 1 stinking lb, you are going to be history!!!!

I put on the dress that I have on in my before picture...I asked my 7 yr old to take a picture of me today! Just 2 months out! He said, "mom, you don't like taking pictures!" So I told him to just take it! I was so surprised when I did the side by side photo, what did we ever do without these!!! Holy crap...I SAW the difference!
 
Is it possible to look at yourself everyday and NOT see the changes? In my case YES!!! I'm still working on my mind seeing me as a lighter version of myself...and sometimes I just don't see it...but today I did! And for the first time in a long time I like what I am seeing!
 
Happy Friday, and thanks for listening to my rant!!!!

Earlier this month (September 7th to be exact) I participated in my first 5k. Although I didn't run or jog, walking a 5k was a huge accomplishment for me. A year ago I would have never thought about participating in a 5k. Next month I'm doing two 5k's. I love my sleeve and the opportunities it has given me. I wish I would have made the decision to have surgery much sooner.

So I woke up this morning, SUPER glad that yesterday is DONE! I was looking at the calendar and I saw the date, I then began to think. As of this past Sunday I am 2 months out, 8 weeks people, from my surgery date and I have lost almost 30 pounds! Amazing, right? Well...yes it is, but then I thought, "Woman, you need to zip your lips the next time you think of complaining the scale isn't moving!". RIGHT?!!!
 
In those very thoughts I thought of how amazing it is to even be able to vocalize that I have LOST, not gained, almost 30 pounds!!! It seems like a lifetime ago that I was able to say I even lost 5 pounds, or even 10! Now look at that number!!! I then thought that I have no right to gripe when the scale doesn't move as fast as I think it should, or say what I have been waiting for it to say. Our minds, well my mind anyway, can be a dangerous place and that is why I HAVE to talk positively to myself every minute of the day! Who thought I would ever be able to say in 8 weeks I have LOST almost 30 pounds!!!
 
I guess it's in the moments of reflection that you begin to realize that at times we can become so complacent, so ungrateful for even the smallest victories. I cannot speak for everyone, just for me, and I am a very thankful person, and when I realized that I was getting to the point of not being satisfied with my victories, that is a sad day for me. I read someone else's blog this morning on almost the same exact topic and it just made me think.
 
I'm working on my mind, daily, and this is such a touchy subject with me. But I have to wake up everyday and KNOW that I am not yet where I want to be but I am so much better than the day before.
 
In the person's blog that I read she recounted the obstacles she has overcome, and how she, too, is frustrated with that stupid scale as she is so close to her goal and it is just taunting her. When will we, I, be completely satisfied??? When did I overlook where I came from and open my eyes to now see the real reflection of ME? I'm almost completely off my insulin and I am completely off my oral meds for diabetes, that is a HUGE Victory and if nothing else changes, I am so thankful for that.
 
I've worked hard in my life to really like who I see in my reflection, and at times I haven't even wanted to look. My husband tells me how good I look, I shake my head no, he tells me I'm beautiful and I struggle to say thank you...but I'm getting better. I can like who I see in the mirror, why? Because she has a beautiful heart, she is a strong woman and because she has come through so much in her life, and to get to this wonderful place, I just couldn't be more thankful. I don't want to take one since solitary moment for granted, and seem like I'm ungrateful. I'm blessed beyond measure to be able to have come this far.
 
Have a GREAT day!!!

Routine for me is a KEY & Pre Planning is another.
I am still not hungry & have to remind myself, to drink my protein. I have no problem with water. I am drinking about 80oz now, slowly. I am doing 3 shakes a day, now I have discovered I really like low sodium V8, Broth & sugar free Jello. I bought the 8oz cans of V8 incase I didn't like it, next time if I keep drinking it the 2 week of full liquids I'll buy a big can. I do add a squirt of Red's hot sauce. Oh YUMMY! I froze all the soup stock, vegetable & chicken in the freezer in 1/2C servings to mix it up a bit, jello I will only buy in the premade cups. Mrs. Dash is the best thing in the soup. I like flavors. I don't like homemade after the 2nd day. I am looking forward to 2 more days & having a pudding or a yogurt.. even MILK even though it will be skim.
 
I have also been making changes around my house. my kids have had to endure my diets before. but the thing they don't understand is healthy isn't a diet. I made Brownies that are made from Black beans, my kids scooped them up! they said they were the richest & best that I have made. I haven't told them nor do I think I will. I have a few weeks to work out some tried & true recipes. (not just sweets) that way by the time I can eat somewhat of the same as them, I can keep cooking those recipes & they won't have any problems with them. I am really looking forward to getting through the next 8 weeks. (according to my surgeon & dietitians plan.)

Hard to believe that it has only been 72 hours ago that I had my surgery. I feel remarkably good, almost normal. I walked the dogs with my husband this morning and it felt good to be out and moving. The scale went back down to what it was the morning of my surgery. When I came home from the hospital I weighed 219 up three pounds. I am guessing it was from all the fluids that they pump into you. I was glad to see it go back down to 216. I have been doing well with getting my proteins in. I went into the office this morning to do a couple deposits while no one was around. I still haven't driven anywhere, but I am not taking any pain meds so I suppose I could drive if I wanted to. My husband usually drives me around anyway. For all those September sleevers that haven't gone yet, I wish you the best and pray that you have a good post op too.

I have been working diligently on managing to get my 64oz of fluid & actually have worked out to get 74oz, the liquid includes 3- 17oz bottles of water & 3- 8oz protein shakes, I have found routine & drinking the same thing work the best for me & I also divided it up into 1/3's throughout the day. yet I feel I always have a bottle of liquid in my hand. by night time I am so happy to not have something in my hand, but my nurses scared me about dehydration. so every-time I go to the bathroom I am always looking at what color it is. yes I do that. I have been hitting my goal of about 70 grams of protein. & the last 2 days I have also had about 1/4Cup broth, with a shake of Mrs Dash (my new best friend) I don't add that total to my fluid counting even though I could the last 2 nights my family has had hearty meals, like lasagna & ham & tater casserole. (I made these ahead of time to help if I had problems with surgery) I haven't so much wanted to eat them, more I have a horrible habit at the end of the day of snacking. That's where the soup came in. I have some mixed feelings I need to work thru before I do eat real food. I have a few idea's like changing what my evening pattern is, I have some projects to start as soon as I have a bit more energy & my incisions heal up a bit more, I don't want to ruin anything I have worked so hard to do.
 
Today I had a great couple of personal victories, 1- my oldest was mindlessly eating a big muffin for breakfast, & I thought, I use to do this, now that kind of repulses me. 2- I got to drive to do an errand. I felt so free, where I haven't hd pain med's I knew I felt good enough to do it. Both of these put me in some deep thoughts about how my life was going... I could have eaten 2 of those muffins before, & if I don't get my health under control, then I might have to rely on others to get me around. it just helps me know I have made one of the best decisions of my life. I promised myself on New Years this year I will take back my life! I am on my way!

I made it thru surgery! Not as bad as I thought. My mouth was dryer than dry, but they gave me ice chips.


 

My surgery started at 7:30am


 

They did the sleeve & hernia, was in recovery by 9:25, in there for about an hour, the to my room at about 10:30. I was on oxygen, they took it off at 11:30, just had to remember to breath deep when the buzzer sounds, they also gave me a breathing thingy that I have to do minimum of 10 an hour, it gets deep breaths, it helps A Lot with Gas bubbles & helps so yo don't get Phenomena I've been burping a storm. Walking around my room & the halls. No nausea at all They are stayed on top of the meds while I was in the hospital, the second morning I didn't have any. I just had gas pains.



Also, I was able to get out of the bed & I'm sitting in a what they call recliner... But it's better than the bed. I was able to be out of the hospital by noon the day after surgery, I hated being there, being on the IV & eating ice chips, I was able to walk to my GI & passed, so they said I was cleared t go home.


 

We ran to get my Rx & home we came where I started drinking an Iso Pure, not the greatest, but its protein, i wasn't to bad after I mixed some powder protein with it. took for ever to drink 8 oz. but I did that twice yesterday & so I hit my minimum mark of 50 grams of protein. I figured that was a great start. the only time I took the pain meds is when I went to bed. I don't like them they knock me right out.


 
 

Since this


morning I have choked down a iso pure without added powder & 1/2 a 16.9 oz bottle of water guess that's not bad where its basically 10am. I am not hungry, I just keep telling myself drink this, drink this. slowly. but drink this. then I give myself a break.
I weighed myself & I am down 2lbs the only reason I got on the scale is I do my measurements once a week those were not so good, but I attribute that to being swollen, my plans for the day are SHOWER! then this afternoon a walk, & maybe 1 tonight. and of course every-time I remember I use the breathing thingy. I haven't really had troubles passing gas, from either direction. I know TMI, I also had a BM. the nurses had me a bit scared about that. I had it on my own no medicines or juices.
 
I had it in my head it was going to be worse than it was. I guess it's better to thin that then have it be better. now if I could just Fast Forward the next couple months.
 
Hope everyone is doing well.

I received my phone call from the Dr. office today that I am to be at the Hospital at 11:30. Looks like I will get to sleep in on my first day off work. I have been suffering a headache all day, but other then that I am feeling pretty excited. That is even after watching two videos of the sleeve surgery on Youtube. I think it grossed my husband out, but I found it pretty interesting to see what exactly they are going to do. I do feel like I have researched and prepared these last 6 months about as much as possible.

It's a good day today, I didn't get on the scale, I am done with the PMS, and my hormones seem to be balancing out, at least for today!!! I have some new goals in store for me, goals to help me, to challenge me and to just make me feel better in general. I have decided that this time around I'm going to take that bull by the horns and face everything, one thing at a time, head on. I've been frustrated with the scale not moving, so I saw someone on here posted this shake to get through the "stall" and this quote that was confirmation to me, because I said it yesterday...You didn't have your patience removed during surgery so why are you in such a hurry to lose what took you years to gain? - UH...DUH...I thought that yesterday, read it today and thought OMG...get with it, you are making good choices, you have been given this tool to help on the journey, so chill out and keep truckin' ahead! I already belong to a gym with the Hubs, but I decided to challenge my mind and body with CrossFit. I have a lot of friends, at all different weight and fitness levels that go, and I really feel this will get my body in gear to keep making those right choices. I am excited for the challenge and excited to see the results. I am signing a 3 month contract and then more if I still like it at 3 months. I told the Hubs that I NEED to do this for me and I need his support to know that I have to do this. I don't know what it is but I just feel the need to finally challenge ME. I'm cleaning out my closet next, while the scale isn't moving, I have noticed that things that were tight before surgery are just way too big, not even somewhat cute to get me through til I lose more weight, so they are OUTTA there!!!! Not EVER going back to that size again! I'm finding that instead of using my hands to eat, I'm organizing more(which I am pretty damn organized already), getting my surroundings in order...the new me is coming out to play and I think I really like this woman!!! I've continued taking pics...sent one to mom yesterday...I said LOOK...my sides aren't touching the side of my office chair!!! What a great feeling!!! I'm super excited at what lies ahead for ALL of us...and I have to say I'm thankful for all on here, this is a great place to come for a "pick me up"!!! Be Blessed, and know that you have GREAT days ahead of you.

OMG...they FIT, they FIT, they FIT!!!!
 
The JEANS, that I have had in my closet forever...FIT!!! Skinny, yet curvy(curvy is GOOD people!!)
 
SO...I was in the closet, I decided today was the day I was going to try them on AGAIN...thinking to myself, "oh these didn't fit 3 weeks ago, they will fit in about a month from now". WELL...I put them on, because I always love denim, and I buttoned them, smile began to surface...zipped them, BIG cheesy grin by this time, AND...I AM STILL BREATHING!!! So you better believe I did NOT take these suckers off!!!!
 
I've been doing a little jig, with a little song that just makes the big cheesy grin, not so cheesy...they fit, uh-huh, they fit...oh yea!!!!
 
It's the little successes that are HUGE!!! Just made my day!!!
 
Have a blessed day!!! Keep up the good work everyone and remember to be FABULOUS today!!!

Last day of Solid foods.
I can say I am ready, a bit stressed but ready.
Extra Dessert Delights are my saving grace, normally when I get stressed I eat, this time I go grab a stick, break it in half & chew till the flavor is gone... that & drinking lots of water, today. tomorrow is 4 protein shakes & 64oz water. the end is in sight, just have to make it through. so many epiphanies! I am thinking its all part of the process. I got the fridge stock for the family & a weeks worth of meals for them, 3 casseroles & 4 crockpot meals, all just have to have someone bake them or put them in the crockpot. so in reality they should be good for awhile. plus I got some broths, sugar free jello's, case of water, powerade zero, crystal light, isopure premade drinks, some powder mix with anything protein & of course chewable vitamins.
washed my sheets, brought a couple more pillows in my room, have a bunch of books, dusted off my running shoes (for walking) also have a nice broken in pair of crocks (if my feet are swollen) pulled out the Huge heating pad, found my rice heating bag. also had the best idea ever, no I did not read it on a thread here, although i'm sure lots of others had the same idea, I pulled out a couple of the small shot glasses to use to measure the liquid intake. also dug out my kids baby spoons for a few weeks down the road.
I am sure there will be something, somewhere that I forgot or overlooked, but for the most part lets get through this misery of surgery & recovery. the end result will be worth it. God Speed to everyone that is going to go through this surgery.

Sometimes it feels like I am doing the job of the office workers in my doctor's office! I realize that I am the one who wants this surgery. I am the one who wants things to move along as quickly as they can so that I can get to the place I need and want to be at. Yes, I am impatient. But I seriously wonder sometimes what would happen if I left things to happen when they happened. ( I would probably not like that answer) Take for example today. I have posted before that I have had a 4 week space where nothing has happened because I had to wait to get into a pulmonologist for clearance. It has been the LONGEST four weeks of my life in many ways. I feel like time has dragged by. I have wanted to do something to move this process along, but all I could do was wait. Well next Monday is the long awaited appointment. Even then it isn't "it", as this is only a consultation. Any tests will have to be scheduled and performed at a later time. ( Yes- I am going to push to try to get them scheduled next week) I decided that I would call my bariatric doctor's office to see where things stood on everything else. Basically find out if anything else needed done, was there any other clearance or paperwork I needed to have. First thing mentioned was my diet. This has gone round and round...It was once mistakenly said that I needed a 6 mos. diet before authorization. Well that information was incorrect. My insurance did clear it up with the lady in my surgeon's claims office, but apparently in is still notated in my chart somewhere. So once we got past that she said they still had not received my PCP letter of recommendation or last 2 years medical records. I was a little surprised. I saw my PCP on 8/28 for a check up on my leg. While I was there he asked if I had a surgery date scheduled yet. I said no, because of the pulmonary check. I also commented that was my last clearance, and that I hoped all my records and his letter had already been sent. Obviously the doctor has no idea what his staff does because he seemed like he was looking forward to me having this surgery too. ( in a weird way) Anyway, I called my PCPs office after speaking with the surgeon's office and left a message that they never got the records and letter. A few hours later the lady in the records office of my PCP called me back and said she had never received the request for the records or letter from Dayton Bariatrics!!! WTF?????She was very apologetic and said she would gladly send them over just as soon as she got the request and release I had signed and turned in back on 8/6. She even gave me her fax number so they could fax the request over and not have to wait for it to be mailed. I then called back the surgeon's office and relayed the information. She said she would get right on sending it over... So Wow. It is a good darn thing I am being so anal about this because who KNOWS what delays I might face if I didn't stay on top of it. I can only imagine now what I will probably go through once everything is ready to submit to my insurance. I would probably feel better if I could just do it myself!! LOL I know from all I have read on here that I am hardly the first person to go through this. I also know I am not the only patient any of my doctor's have in their practice. But if I did not stay on top of everything I am responsible for in my job, well I probably wouldn't have it for long. Oh well, lesson learned. I know what I have to do to get where I want to be.