OBXgirl

I put on the dress that I have on in my before picture...I asked my 7 yr old to take a picture of me today! Just 2 months out! He said, "mom, you don't like taking pictures!" So I told him to just take it! I was so surprised when I did the side by side photo, what did we ever do without these!!! Holy crap...I SAW the difference!
 
Is it possible to look at yourself everyday and NOT see the changes? In my case YES!!! I'm still working on my mind seeing me as a lighter version of myself...and sometimes I just don't see it...but today I did! And for the first time in a long time I like what I am seeing!
 
Happy Friday, and thanks for listening to my rant!!!!

It's been a month since surgery and a while since I made an entry. All in all - no regrets! This has been a total change in lifestyle for me and so far so good. I've learned a ton about my body and what I can and can't eat. Yesterday I experienced the pain that comes from eating too fast and not choosing the correct foods. I had some steamed broccoli and salmon for lunch (left over from dinner out the night before). I had a tightness in my chest and severe nausea. And then it hit me - the vomiting. I was VERY uncomfortable for about an hour. I had some errands to run and jumped in the car. Big mistake - the seatbelt made it worse. Had to pull over on the side of the road. It happened at dinner the evening before as well. Had to run to the restroom at the restaurant. Lessen learned. I suppose there's a reason the NUT said soft foods ONLY at my 3 week appointment last week. So back to shmooshy foods I go and more shakes. I'm struggling to get in enough protein daily (80 grams) and forget to eat. I'm not losing as quickly as I was before and it's frustrating but I know I'm shrinking because my clothes are very loose. I'm down 36 lbs. from my high weight on 7/16 (19 pre and 17 post). I'm not napping nearly as much as I was and I do have more energy during the day. The next few weeks are going to be stressful as we are moving so I'm going to have to remember to take care of ME first during all of it. This is a new concept as I'm usually last in my life (after my kids, husband, pets, home, etc.). I have more confidence, I'm taking control and I'm EXCITED for a fresh start

I have figured for this week it will be easier to eat 1 meal of pureed, at least for a few days. it take a lot of time away from drinking water & protein drinks. I never thought Pureed food would be so complicated. I tired to work out a menu & tried to put it into fitness pal & it just didn't work with the protein, I need, I personally would rather drink the protein then mix it into pureed food. it is defiantly a learning curve, plus the time it takes to not drink before the meal & after the meal. I will just have to get really creative & figure this out. I'm pretty sure once I figure this out I can use the same format for the rest of the food stages. then hopefully it will be a habit for life. just have to plan & prepare.
Now if you told me I was going to do this much prep a year ago for food I would LAUGH!!
 
Yesterday I ordered more Nectar Unflavored protein, Nectar Fuzzy Navel, it's only 10 grams protein but it's good in a quick pinch for extra protein. I also ordered me a Fitbit Flex. after some research to figure out what to get to help motivate me. this seems like something I will use. hopefully I can get back into the habit of wearing one, I have a heart rate watch about 10 years ago & loved it, then my kids got a hold of it & well if you have kids you know how that goes.
 
Tomorrow morning starts my going back to the gym! Yeah! I'm so looking forward to it!! I got cleared for Submersion! so Water Aerobics Here I come. the ladies in my class have no idea what I have done or where I have been. so I am sure tomorrow will be a bunch of questions. but bring it on, not sure what I am going to say just yet. I still don't think it's anyones business. My Dr. said as long as I have a bottle of water by the pool & listen to my body. I am so in love with going to the pool it makes the world just disappear. that reminds me I have to set my alarm earlier.
 
 
Hopefully I can figure out what works for me rather quickly, next week everything gets back to full busy mode. To all hopefully you all have a great journey as we figure out this thing called Life!

I have started, deleted and restarted this post so many times. It shouldn't be this difficult to write my first post, I have so much to say... I don't want to start at the "beginning" that needs to come, but I am not sure if I am ready to put into words what brought me to the place I am today. So I think I am going to just talk about why this surgery is important to me. The goals I want to achieve with this surgery and what I want to do for myself along the way.
 
Goals
 
Its easy to set a weight loss goal. I have had a number in mind from the first time I stepped foot in a Weight Watchers meeting when I was 23 years old. I picked a number right smack in the middle of the "acceptable" range. 142... The last time I saw a weight that started with a 1 and a 4 was when I was in the 7th grade. There is a part of me that thinks there is no way in this world I will ever EVER achieve that number again. There is a bigger part of me that says I can do this, no I can do this! So in my head I have a few weight loss goals, and reasons.
 
280: I chose this number because spring of 2012 I worked my butt off for months, with a trainer, 5-6-7 days a week in the gym. Taking step followed by Combat in one day and not blinking an eye. I lost 15# and for the life of me I could not get past 280, I grew frustrated and worried about answering to my trainer and.... I gave up.
 
261: Forever... my top weight was 261, I mean years. I started Weight Watchers so many times at this number it is unreal. It also happens to be the weight where my body seems to react to my weight and causes a metabolic response that causes me to be irregular with my monthly cycle (Sorry guys if this is TMI but it is true) From the moment we women start menstruating we women complain about how horrid it is, how much it effects our lives. After struggling for the past few years of random 2-3 times a year cycles I can say there is nothing that makes me feel like less of a woman than the fact that I do miss that every month. It might sound crazy but I think the first time I get my cycle two times in a row I will probably cry...
 
220: The one and only time I have been completely successful in a weight loss journey was 5.5 years ago. I counted every damn calorie I stuck in my mouth, I counted every damn calorie I burned on the eliptical, I worked hard and it showed. I had someone, that I respect very much, tell me I was like a rose getting ready to bloom any day. I WILL be that rose someday.... and I can't wait.
 
199: Who doesn't have this as a goal? The last time I weight around this weight was after I gave birth to my son. My pregnancy was not the cause of my weight gain. I started my pregnancy at 190# I gave birth to my son at 204# and the day I left the hospital I weight 189#. Yes I was overweight, I admit it, but I was OK.
 
I don't really have a goal between 199 and 142. I don't know where I will land. I know this... I will not stop until I am happy. I love strength, I love muscle and there is nothing that makes me happier than showing up my friends on the gym floor with the weights. We have a University in my town that does body composition testing with the egg thing, once I get to the point where I feel I am close to a goal or I am feeling comfortable I am going to get a full body composition. I did this to lose weight and be healthy, I want to have a healthy body fat percentage and I want it to be accurate.
 
More than anything... Size 2, Size 22 I am doing this for me, and only me. I want to be healthy and truly happy for the first time in a really really long time. I can't wait to add more along the road!
 
I leave you with a picture of me and my pride and joy. I always wanted FIVE children and God has blessed me with one perfectly imperfect son. I know I will have more children someday, more than likely through adoption or marriage but.... you never know! He is my reason.... He is my soul.... He is my life.... He is rotten... and makes me work for kisses (typical 14yo)

Just barely but I’m there. This is a term I learned from hanging out on various online forums. Onderland. That magic place when your weight starts with the number 1.
I have to say, it’s less exciting for me than for some others because I didn’t start that much above it, and only had to lose 30 lbs to get there, but it’s a nice, mini-milestone.
But here’s another way to look at it, and this does indeed excite me. Today, I have lost a third of the excess weight I need to lose. A third of the way there! Now that’s something to celebrate.
It’s also a good way to know that the surgery is working, or rather than I am working it. Once I came off the stall, I seem to have lost .4 lbs, .2 lbs, .6 lbs, but it’s still a wonderful downward trend, and I think I’ll take it!

On Sunday 9/22 I will be celebrating my 2 month Surgeriversery!!! I weighed in today at 252 which is 31 pounds lost since Surgery. Also a ton of inches!!! I have been extremely happy with my sleeve. I have had one episode of dumping since surgery and that was a day i was bad and got over 65 grams of carbs. My sleeve hated me that day. I am still on the meat, cheese and eggs and next week I can start adding 1/2 cup of veggies to one meal a day. I am a little scared to see how my sleeve will handle it but I am hoping for the best. I am so excited to have asparagus , cauliflower and brocolli!!!
I know we aren't likely to have a dumping issue but I am positive that it was one, I was shaky, sweaty and weak. It passed with in a 1/2 hour. I hadn't had that many carbs in one day since months before surgery. Believe me I will not be having anything that isn't on my doctors approved list anymore. I was glad to have had something like that happen because it has put me back on my path. We all have times we mess up and it is what we learn from it that matters.
I started Zumba on Friday nights and love it!!! My new love! I have been walking mainly since surgery so it is so nice to switch it up a little. I haven't gone shopping yet for anything but I do know I need smaller underwear!! LOL I just don't want to go out and shop and then have to shop again a month later so i have been wearing baggy clothes. I did find some old clothes of mine that now fit me that I will be wearing for a while.

It has been 2 weeks and one day since I had my surgery. I started at 230lbs before my pre-op diet. Surgery date I was 216. As of yesterday the scale hit 199. I was soooo excited to break out of the 200lbs. I was sooo hard for me to lose even 10 lbs pre surgery. It took me 6 months to do so. As of today I lose a total of 31lbs in 1 month. My goal is to get off the 9 more pounds that I had on me from my first child, and then I will put the scale away for a bit as I have been weighing myself every morning counting down till onederalnd! So I started Purees yesterday. My first meal was 1 hard boiled egg, 1 teaspoon miracle whip, 1/2 teaspoon of hummus. I was so ecited to eat "real" food, I scarfed it down a little too quickly. Dont know what was wrong with me, I guess after a month of liquids I was like "GIVE ME FOOD!" So I was only able to eat 1/2 an egg until I was burping and felt full. Although I am not too sure what FULL feels like post op...I burp and my tummy feels like theres stuff in there but that happens very quickly. For lunch I pureed cottage cheese (YUM) and mixed a baby spoonful in with the egg and it was MUCH easier to get down. I have also heard people say its harder to eat in the morning. For dinner I pureed refried beans with some salsa, topped with a pinch of cheddar cheese melted and topped with babyspoon full of sour cream. OMG sooo freakin yummy and slightly spicy from salsa. Sooo sad Iwas only able to eat 1ozif that. I think Im too scared to eat too much and since Im not sure what the warning signs are of being full its only a matter of time before I overdo it and learn for myself. Since I am never hungry, How can I feel satisfied. I would have been "Head" satisfied if I could finish my 1oz of refried beans. I have been doing 2 protein shakes in between each meal. WIth all this eating, waiting and drinking shakes I have nooo time for my water. I try to drink as much as I can at night an hour after dinner. I mean do I have to wake up at 3am just to get in all my calories protein and water. Im only getting about 300 calories, maybe slightly more now that Im on purees. My protein intake is around 50 2 weeks post op (working on it.) and my water intake counting 2 protein shakesmaybe 42oz per day max. Yesterday I felt lightheaded and dizzy and I knew it was because I am not getting enough of anything. As soon as I drink my protein shake it is like rocket fuel and I'm speedy gonzalez again. As far as my recovery, I was driving 6 days post-op, had a party for 30ppl at my house for my daugters bday, been walking and running around with kids to parks, playgrounds, pools(even though I cant go in) This week was the first time I fely very LOW energy. So I am really trying to get in more protein water and calories. HW: 233, Pre-pre.op 230, day of surgery 216, came home from surgery 227 (lol) fluid. Current weight 198. My goal by 3 weeks post op (Next thursday) is 190lbs. My goal after that is my wedding day weight of 170 by Christmas, And 150 by my February 23rd Birthday! That would be amazing!!!

Well, I haven't been here in a while! I have missed reading everyone's progress and frustrations, and just everything! I feel like I let myself down last week, I was in major pain with my back, didn't exercise, didn't take my vitamins like I should have, didn't eat as much as I should have, UGH...I just didn't!
 
I had to break down and see the chiropractor, by OMG, did it feel WONDERFUL!!! My lower back has been in so much pain. I've been walking like a little old lady once I get up from a sitting position! Not very attractive. My chiro did tell me something that I just didn't think of that I thought would be great to share...She said, "you've just lost 25 pounds...that's a significant amount and you are losing inches, your body now has to readjust and will continue to do so as long as you are losing weight. She said it works the same if you are gaining weight." She let me know that the body has to adjust so that it helps you carry the new weight properly. DUH!!! I never even thought of that! She also let me know that while I am losing my body will continue to shift and I may need adjustments throughout this new journey I am taking!
 
Not feeling well really stinks...it just makes you not want to do anything...it's like My get up and GO, just got up and WENT!!! No warning, nothing, just gone! I know we all have off days or weeks, but please, I'm 2 pounds away from being under 200(FINALLY) and I will exercise this week, I will get back into my routine, and I will get under 200 by the end of next week(helps me to speak positive things to me!!!) I have to push myself, and it has been hard with this back of mine. So onward and upward here I gooooooooooooooo!!!!!
 
I just think that this is the best journey of my life...and I'm so very blessed to be able to be on it! Thankful the scale is going down and not up anymore, thankful that I'm just not looking at food the same, thankful that my diabetes is slowly but surely subsiding! All these things I'm thankful for! I'm also thankful for everyone on here, reading your ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures, trials and errors, and just the everyday thoughts of this walk we are on...helps me make it through this very day!
 
So...Trust in yourself...believe in who you are...YOU are a wonderful person. AND Don't "allow" anyone else to convince you differently! - My Hubs told me that! Gotta love that man!!!

Day two after my surgery which was on the 11th. I am feeling remarkably well. No belly pains at all, but it sure is rumbling and make a racket. I drank a protein shake and had a greek yorgurt. I know I need to drink more water in between, but I will work on it. I took a nice walk outside because the weather here in Lancaster PA is gorgeous today.

Today is exactly 16 weeks since surgery & I’ve lost 55 lbs since then. That plus the 10 lbs I lost pre-op mean I am down a total so far of 65 lbs! 65.4 to be exact, but who’s counting lol.
 
I am excited! I am about 7 lbs away from being half way to goal. I am doing a lot of closet shopping, and now I realize if I don’t try on things frequently, I am in danger of several items becoming too big before I even get a chance to wear them! My sweet & generous husband thinks I should buy new stuff whenever I feel like it, even if I know I will only wear it a short time, & he says there are worse problems to have and that I should treat myself for having earned it. While I certainly agree with him in theory I cannot bring myself to go out and buy brand new things when I am not close to goal yet. I’m cruising ebay a lot. I have maxi dresses that I can wear quite a bit longer without them getting too obviously big, and a Donna Karan wrap dress that will just need to be wrapped tighter and tighter, but my pants and jeans…oh boy when you can take off your jeans without unbuttoning or unzipping them, you know they’re getting too big! So I need to get a smaller pair of jeans….and that’s where ebay comes in. I’m bidding on my favorite kind of Levi’s in the next smaller size and if I can get them for less than $20 I consider that a success.
 
I’m so grateful for the sleeve. I’ve really had no problems with it, except for a bout with stomach acid a few weeks ago. I’m managing it with OTC meds and hoping eventually I won’t have to take it much. If I do have to take it every day forever, then so be it. It’s a very small price to pay, in contrast to the laundry list of health problems that I was headed for with obesity.
 
My relationship with food has turned a compete 360. It is a bit of a mind trip though, because having loved food so much for all my 41 years, I still get excited about it. And then I eat it and after 4 bites I’m like “ugh, that’s enough”. So in some ways I feel like I live with a ghost – the memory of how satisfying stuffing myself used to be. And yet, now after a couple of bites I don’t want – can’t have – any more. (please note this is when following the "protein first" rule) It’s a very strange thing to wrap my head around -- this new ambiguous feeling about food, but it is actually a good thing. It’s what I wanted. I’ve always envied people whose lives weren’t driven by the urge to eat – food was always my obsession. When to eat, what to eat, when to eat next, what to eat if no one was there to see. Now I don’t have that uncontrollable urge, and it is lovely. I hope it lasts forever. I easily & happily stick to pretty paleo type eating, and have recently added one day a week where I have some good starch like whole grain bread. I think that revved my metabolism a bit, although I think it dampens my energy some on those days. I just don’t eat many carbs in the way of starches any more, and I absolutely do not miss them! I think I’ve had some dark chocolate maybe twice and my reaction was “meh” ....so why have it again? I have to say I am detoxed from refined sugar and thank God for it. I was a slave to sugar before. That evil is behind me and I do not ever ever want to let that monster out of its cage again. Because I fear sugar could sabotage me in the future, I am going to be very cautious about ever reintroducing it.
 
My husband, who really wasn’t entirely on board with me having the surgery, has recently talked quite a bit about how happy he is with how things are turning out Go figure. LOL. We bought a 42 lb thing of cat litter at Costco last week, and as he said “ooof!” while hefting it into the shopping cart, I said “Yeah, well I’ve lost 1 ½ the weight of that” and it Absolutely. Blew. His. mind. Now, that was more than a week ago, and he’s remarked on it several times since – contemplating the weight I used to carry like that really had an impact on him. I said, “now you understand why I never had energy, right? Aren’t you glad the 65 lbs is gone? And, think about me losing another 65 lbs! You’ll have to put a tether on me or I might just float away!!” LOL Really, my energy has gotten so much better and I’m less than half way there….it is hard to imagine how good I’m going to feel when I get to goal!
(please do note that I say ‘when’ not ‘if’)
 
I’m stoked. I had a great week, and a great month. I track the patterns in my weight loss – regardless of intake or working out, every third week it flat lines. I accept it. The big picture is important; meeting mini goals are important. Meeting goals that are not related to numbers on a scale are important too. I’m all over this!
Onward!

I made it thru surgery! Not as bad as I thought. My mouth was dryer than dry, but they gave me ice chips.


 

My surgery started at 7:30am


 

They did the sleeve & hernia, was in recovery by 9:25, in there for about an hour, the to my room at about 10:30. I was on oxygen, they took it off at 11:30, just had to remember to breath deep when the buzzer sounds, they also gave me a breathing thingy that I have to do minimum of 10 an hour, it gets deep breaths, it helps A Lot with Gas bubbles & helps so yo don't get Phenomena I've been burping a storm. Walking around my room & the halls. No nausea at all They are stayed on top of the meds while I was in the hospital, the second morning I didn't have any. I just had gas pains.



Also, I was able to get out of the bed & I'm sitting in a what they call recliner... But it's better than the bed. I was able to be out of the hospital by noon the day after surgery, I hated being there, being on the IV & eating ice chips, I was able to walk to my GI & passed, so they said I was cleared t go home.


 

We ran to get my Rx & home we came where I started drinking an Iso Pure, not the greatest, but its protein, i wasn't to bad after I mixed some powder protein with it. took for ever to drink 8 oz. but I did that twice yesterday & so I hit my minimum mark of 50 grams of protein. I figured that was a great start. the only time I took the pain meds is when I went to bed. I don't like them they knock me right out.


 
 

Since this


morning I have choked down a iso pure without added powder & 1/2 a 16.9 oz bottle of water guess that's not bad where its basically 10am. I am not hungry, I just keep telling myself drink this, drink this. slowly. but drink this. then I give myself a break.
I weighed myself & I am down 2lbs the only reason I got on the scale is I do my measurements once a week those were not so good, but I attribute that to being swollen, my plans for the day are SHOWER! then this afternoon a walk, & maybe 1 tonight. and of course every-time I remember I use the breathing thingy. I haven't really had troubles passing gas, from either direction. I know TMI, I also had a BM. the nurses had me a bit scared about that. I had it on my own no medicines or juices.
 
I had it in my head it was going to be worse than it was. I guess it's better to thin that then have it be better. now if I could just Fast Forward the next couple months.
 
Hope everyone is doing well.

OMG...they FIT, they FIT, they FIT!!!!
 
The JEANS, that I have had in my closet forever...FIT!!! Skinny, yet curvy(curvy is GOOD people!!)
 
SO...I was in the closet, I decided today was the day I was going to try them on AGAIN...thinking to myself, "oh these didn't fit 3 weeks ago, they will fit in about a month from now". WELL...I put them on, because I always love denim, and I buttoned them, smile began to surface...zipped them, BIG cheesy grin by this time, AND...I AM STILL BREATHING!!! So you better believe I did NOT take these suckers off!!!!
 
I've been doing a little jig, with a little song that just makes the big cheesy grin, not so cheesy...they fit, uh-huh, they fit...oh yea!!!!
 
It's the little successes that are HUGE!!! Just made my day!!!
 
Have a blessed day!!! Keep up the good work everyone and remember to be FABULOUS today!!!

Good morning world!! I am waking up feeling like a new person! I have not been on the scale since Friday, but continued my walking and exercise all weekend. I feel great! I promised myself that I wouldn't continuously take pics, but for someone who LOVES being the one TAKING the pics, this has really helped me put things in perspective. I have always been asked if I'm pregnant, I carry the majority of my weight in the dreaded gut. I attached a pic and it has helped me see that while the scale isn't moving, I am STILL making progress! The bottom right pic is me the day before my surgery, the middle one was 2 weeks ago, and the top left is me last week. It has helped me to actually SEE what is going on, and that helps to wrap my mind around what changes are taking place. I guess I just wanted to post this because I am as frustrated as the rest of those I see on this site with the stall that I am facing, head on, but I have to say...take some pics, compare them to the day you went in for surgery and I think you will be pleasantly surprised! So...in about an hour or so I will be getting on the scale, have a Dr.'s appointment...hope it is positive! Have a great DAY!!!