AvaFern

So in response to the original post (I skipped over the 10 in the middle where someone was mean or got their feelings hurt or whatever we're fighting about today), I would have to minimally disagree. Yes, listen to your surgeons, however if it's something I've noticed, everywhere has different directions which means that what one person told may not be the same degree of correct as another and it is instead a surgeon preference. For example, straws. Some surgeons, generally old school ones, tell you not to use them. More recently educated surgeons understand that for some people straws are the only way they can get all of their fluids in and using straws doesn't actually hurt you. Sometimes people get a bit of a stomach ache, but mostly, you're fine. So...if your surgeon says don't use straws, sometimes it's ok to ignore them. Next, soda and other bubbly non-alcoholic beverages. Once your stomach is healed this is not going to hurt you. Your stomach is not a closed system, so if you get a little bit of gas, you burp, problem solved. It isn't going to blow up your stomach! They tell you to not drink soda because it's easier to say that so people don't drink regular soda and drink all their calories. Physically diet soda is not going to kill you for any reasons that it won't kill you if you never had the surgery. Next, doing stuff that makes you feel like crap...if your Vitamins make you barf, after you have healed, you don't need to take the expensive bariatric kind and in fact, if you play around with your supplements until you find something that works for you, this is fine. Next...protein. If you do not get your bajillion grams in a day, you are really going to be fine. Some people are obsessive about protein- I never was. I am almost 3 years post-op, I had full labs done two weeks ago, and my numbers are all perfect. I eat like a normal person, not a Protein junky who has to hit a certain number everyday. So, while I would agree that you should follow the rules, not everyone has the same rules, which creates questions. Also, not all surgeons are always right with everything. These are just people like us and if you are educated, you do your research, and you think you might not agree with your surgeon...guess what, it is totally cool to not follow some of their directions on something that has been validated with evidence based practice as being an acceptable deviation from their rules. Don't be an idiot, but don't be a sheep either. Surgeons are not God, despite the fact that some of them think they are, and you are not a child, and as such, if you don't happen to agree with or do everything exactly as you are told and you can support that decision with research and efficacy of practice, then good for you.

@@Sharon1964 Both you and the dress looked beautiful. This is something that would have upset me too and I'm not on antidepressants, so either I should be or your reaction wasn't really terribly out of the norm. I can completely appreciate how frustrating it is when you put a lot of work into something, such as that dress, and the Belle with the Boobs wins. When I was in high school I was in a madrigal choir and I LOVED my dress. It was historically accurate (I think), handmade (by someone else), and the most wonderful fabric. I would be extremely upset if someone in a stupid costume beat that costume. I have dressed up for Halloween once as an adult and almost twice, and both times I was at a very normal weight, probably around 140-150ish, except both times I was in college or my mid-20's and the little girls in the short, tight, see-through, boobalicious outfits were always the ones that everyone paid attention to, not the average girl in less-hoochie mama apparel. In fact, this is funny, I distinctly remember a girl in a green Tinkerbelle costume who was SO much cuter than me, despite the fact that my costume was better, and standing next to her I'm fairly sure not a single guy looked at me. I know Halloween isn't the same thing as your experience, but I can understand (I think) how you felt and without being someone who has depression I would have been very sad as well.

Holy cow! If 1 in 50 people died the surgery would not be approved although if I read that statistic I would be freaked out too, geez Louise. Ask your doctor how many people have died or had severe complications after his surgery. My doctor was an absolute tool, but no one had ever died or had major complications as a result of his surgery and so I got over the fact that I didn't like him because he was unlikely to kill me. If you look at the stats for death or complications, often the people who die are those that had major prior complications. If you go into surgery way unhealthier than the average fat person, your chances of death are higher, however these people then skew the results for everyone else. You are highly unlikely to die as a result of this surgery. If I remember correctly, gallbladder removal has around the same risk. Your decision should be more about understanding that you are having your stomach cut out and you need to learn to live a life with respect for that. I am unlikely ever going to be able to eat an entire burger again, I don't really eat junk food at all because it makes me sick, and I can't chug Water (or booze or anything). I have also maintained at goal for well over a year with a relative degree of ease. I am fine having traded 80% of my stomach for a size 2 butt. Whether you are also willing to do that is something you need to consider, but you really don't have a 1 in 50 chance of dying, or even remotely close to that. Try focusing your decision more on the long-term and less on the immediate complications of surgery, because the former of the two is exponentially more important to be worried about than the latter.

Like @@OutsideMatchInside said, I was someone who chose to wait until I was at goal to date. I actually waited until I had had my last plastics surgery as well. I knew that if I wanted to hit goal, I needed to be completely focused on myself. When I did start dating again, I didn't work out as much, we went out to dinner a lot, and while I didn't gain weight, I was super happy I was below goal because I had no time to actually lose weight. Past that, I met that boyfriend, the first guy I dated after surgery on Tinder. He is the only person I have ever met offline through that app, we talked for almost a month, went on a date, I didn't like him in person, lol, but I liked him in texts so we stayed friends. We talked almost everyday until we saw each other again in May and it wasn't until late June after we had been dating for weeks and had been talking for months that there was ever any action. Tinder is designed to be a hook-up app, however I like it because every creep and their mother can't send me messages if I don't also swipe (right or left? it's been awhile). Also admittedly, this sounds conceited so I apologize in advance, I don't remember the last time I swiped right (or left?) and the guy didn't match with me. I think dudes just hit yes for every woman on the chance that one will like them back, lol, but hey it does good things for your self-esteem when seemingly hot men like you. Past that though, @@OKCPirate wasn't being mean to you. He is one of the people on this site who don't tend to cause drama and who usually provide you with a straightforward, thoughtful answer, which he did. Your response was instantly defensive, which believe me, I find myself reacting defensively to things that I look back later and thing, hmm, I totally read that wrong. If you're going to date online or at all, men pick up very quickly when you respond defensively to something that is not intended to be hurtful or insulting. It is a red flag that makes them run away because ain't no one got time for that. Good luck in dating...it's a jungle out there.

I had your issue after my sleeve surgery, but it was worse after plastics. If it makes you laugh at all, imagine trying to poop when your stomach has literally just been ripped apart and sewn back together after a tummy tuck. It was hysterical and horrible. I have tried the stool softeners and they just don't work for me. Check with your doctor of course, but an Ex-lax is like God's gift to backed-up people. 1-2 of those and in 8-10 hours, ahhhh you feel so much better. If you've never taken one, it's really a very mild way to clear up your stoppage and it works faster and more effectively than a stool softener. I still take 1 about every 6-8 weeks or so if I haven't worked out a lot and my stomach is being uncooperative. Fast, effective, and you feel much better.

I can appreciate having a goal outfit to fit into, although mine wasn't a wedding dress. I had a few different outfits throughout my weight loss that I said "fitting into this will mean I am thin again!". One of them was a pair of size 12 jeggings, which amusingly enough fit me at 170 when I was about 70 pounds down, although because they are SO stretchy, at 129 pounds, they are the jeggings I put on when I don't want to wear real clothing but I have to run errands. Loose enough to feel like yoga pants, but jegging enough that no one knows I'm a bum. I also had a pair of size 2 banana Republic pants that wouldn't even fit my leg before. Now they fit me and I've never worn them because I like newer clothing better. Like OutsideMatchInside said, I now wear a lot of bodycon dresses and fitted sheath styles that I could never wear before. Unlike her though, I also have a ton of A-line, fit and flare, and shift dresses because now I'm thin enough that even something unflattering like a shift dress doesn't make me look fat. Those are good for days I feel a little blah, but still want to look nice. Given I never used to wear anything other than black pants and dark sweaters because I thought fat people shouldn't bother to dress nicely, the old me would be very proud of the new me's closet. You may find you love your dress when you can fit in it, or you don't like it so much, but either way, it's nice to have something to look forward to fitting into. Worst case, you can be like a famous person and wear one dress for your wedding and one for your reception!

To clarify, you're not in the hospital with the IV still in your hand, right? Lol, if you are, turn it off now and tell them, although if you're just at home, that is what happens when they extravasate your IV...basically they blew your line, except instead of having an immediate reaction, the IV Fluid leaks into your surrounding tissue instead. This is not great for several reasons. First, if if happens in surgery and no one notices it, the meds going into your IV are not being absorbed into your blood at the correct rate, however the anesthesiologist is watching your vitals so unless it happened when they pushed the initial drugs to knock you out, it's not that big of a deal. Next, depending upon what is actually going into that IV, it can cause tissue damage, which again, hopefully someone noticed that before they pushed anything that could hurt your arm and most things going into your IV for this surgery wouldn't cause long term damage. In one of my plastics procedures this happened to me and my arm was swollen for almost a week. I had little vienna sausage fingers. It caused temporary nerve damage in my wrist so that I couldn't touch my wrist for a few months without feeling a little pain. It healed all on its own, although now a few years later if someone grabs my arm too tightly, or I snap my FitBit shut against my arm, sometimes I'll end up with a sore wrist for a few days. Put ice on it like you would an injured knee or ankle, keep it elevated, and you'll be fine. Don't be too concerned if you have some sensitivity in your arm for a few weeks. Also, document it. Take a picture, let your surgeon know- email him about it, with pictures, so it's timestamped, dated, and clearly part of your file. When someone doesn't recognize that kind of issue and you end up with an arm full of fluids, it's really not awesome. While I'm not remotely litigious, in the event a type of drug was pushed in that IV that does cause damage, it's important to have a record of the injury. I am 99.9% sure you will be fine, but no harm no foul in documentation.

I don't eat mashed potatoes- not because I don't like them, but because they make me kind of sick feeling. My issue is usually the fact that they have butter or some form of cream in them and my stomach doesn't like those things. If you made your mashed potatoes with something like that then it's possible it's the oil or fat rather than the carb that is making you feel sick. Mashed potatoes are also tricky because if they aren't moist, which is what the butter accomplishes, they tend to make your feel crummy also. For me, foods like that sit in my stomach and tend to cause my stomach to swell a bit, which also makes me sick.

My ability to sing was not impacted by the sleeve. I'm almost three years post-op and my voice is the same if not better than it was before surgery if mostly because I have better breath regulation. The only reason your voice might be impacted at all is immediately after surgery because you were intubated. The surgery is short and the tube is in for maybe an hour-ish, but your throat might be dry and a little sore afterward. Generally the rest of you feels so crappy you don't care much about your throat, but in terms of vocals, that's really the only point that your ability to sing would be lessened.

Tell him that if he is this insecure already, it's better that he be off again now than waste your time trying to be on again until then. This is about your health, your confidence, and your comfort with your body- not his freaking self-esteem. If a man loves you, he supports you in your decisions to improve your health. If he cares more about your a*s than your heart (I meant that in terms of cardiac health, but lovey dovey heart context also works), either use him for his most worthwhile anatomical feature and get rid of him when he no longer fits your needs (like he is hinting he might do to you) or replace him with someone who is legitimately worth your time and say goodbye to Mr. On-again-off-again-insecure-little-boy-baby. Do what makes YOU happy and if he doesn't like it, then too damn bad.

Dial- in the clear blue liquid form. I used it before my sleeve and plastic surgeries and then after as well until my wounds were fully healed. I also used my regular Dove so my skin wouldn't get dried out, lol, but I finished with the Dial. In theory, soap and Water should be just as effective in most cases, but it made me feel better and it's not like it's going to hurt as long as you're not using it on any sort of overly consistent basis (then in theory any skin bacteria could develop a resistance, but also pretty unlikely since our hands have managed to survive decades of antibacterial soap).

If it makes you feel better at all, if you learn how to be your own support in the times when you feel most alone, you find a certain type of power that isn't developed in any other way. I can walk away from anyone- not because I want to be alone and unloved, but because I know my value and I know that if I am anything less than happy with someone else I am entirely capable of being very happy, very well taken care of, and very comfortable entirely by myself. You are never truly alone when the best person that can ever take care of you is you. When I was a kid my dad told me that the way he knew that my mom was "the one" was because she was the only one who was better at taking care of number one than he was. It's been 33 years now and my mom is still taking better care of number one than he does, lol. I figure until I find that person, I'm doing just fine taking care of number one on my own. It may not seem like it right now, but you will be better off being able to do that as well and doing so when you are most miserable makes the rest of the path seem quite easy in comparison.

I am just under 3-years post-op at about 33 months-ish and I have had no real complications. I have a sleeve that doesn't like fried food, oils, fats, sugar and heavy dairy and periodically it pukes regular things that it normally doesn't complain about. I have a slight stricture so I can't eat too much too quickly or I barf. Both of those things have been good for me because it is a physical control that keeps me in check. I don't have any interest in the vast majority of junk food, because while it took about 18 months of barfing almost everyday, I have now learned that I don't get to eat burgers, ice cream, and cheesedogs if I don't want to be sick and rather than not eating them to avoid being sick, I've been conditioned to just not want them. I wouldn't really call this a complication as much as a blessing, although for a new person reading this I can see that it might contribute to concern. I promise, being thin is worth far more than any burger could ever be.

Definitely consult your surgeon. As a general idea, if you're in the hospital for three days, and you're up and walking around, as long as you continue to be active to an extent your risk isn't as huge. The link below shows a study that found that the risk remained elevated for at least 6 weeks after surgery and was not fully back to normal risk levels until 12 weeks post-op. If you are driving and taking a break to stop and walk around fairly frequently, you are likely going to be fine. Flying is also risky after surgery and people do it all the time. If you're the passenger, massage your legs, wiggle around, and basically don't just sit in the seat for 12 hours like a bump on a log, or you're increasing your risk. You aren't banned from going on your trip, it just might take you a little longer because you need to get out and walk around a few more times than would already be the case whenever you would have had to stop for gas. http://www.webmd.com/dvt/news/20091204/post-op-blood-clot-risk-high

I can appreciate your point. I look back at pictures of when people really started to notice my weight loss and I cringe a little because I was still pretty fat. For the most part though, people are trying to be supportive and even though sometimes the compliments annoyed me, I tried to remember that ultimately it is someone trying to be kind and having no idea that their comment is a little unappreciated. Sure it reminds you that you still have a long way to go, so use that as motivation. When you're at goal and you've been there awhile, no one seems to really remember that you were fat and the only motivation you have is your own mirror and memories. Take advantage of the feeling you have now and use it to push yourself toward goal. Sometimes it isn't sunshine and daises that gets us to our goals, but a whole lot of misery and rain. Pretty sure there's something about rainbows, pots of gold, and leprechaun's that could be worked into that analogy, but in the end, you get to be normal and for me that was worth the journey.

I have a mild stricture. It started at about a year out and I haven't felt the need to get it fixed. I can't eat certain foods or really dense, dry Protein or I puke it right back up almost immediately. If you're going to get a complication, this is probably the one to get. Using an endoscope to dilate a stricture is really straightforward, doesn't hurt at all, and you're usually good to go afterward. They only sedate you a bit so that your gag reflex doesn't prevent them from actually getting the scope down your throat. If this is your problem, it's an easy fix and probably covered by your insurance.

How about you confirm he screwed up before accusing him of doing so? Did you have a bariatric swallow test? If not, go get one done- you can clearly see the size of your stomach and compare it to others to determine if your surgeon did indeed do something out of the ordinary. Next, request your patient files- they're yours, they have to give them to you. See what size bougie he used and then compare this to the norm for a patient that is comparable to you. Much as I am completely fine with calling out a surgeon for being incompetent, I like to make sure that I have documentation that he actually did something wrong before I make myself look stupid for nothing.

I actually didn't think about loose skin before surgery, which given how shallow I am was probably more a matter of it just not occurring to me more than anything else. I had lost weight before and didn't mind what I looked like so I figured, hey what's an extra few pounds at the start. Turns out, those extra few pounds compared to where I had lost weight from before mattered. Much as I could look in the mirror and see that I was thin, it wasn't until after I had plastics that I actually could see myself as being a small, attractive person. I also ended up losing my last 20 pounds through the process of three plastics procedures, which while they didn't cut that much off of me, the fact that I couldn't exercise to maintain weight gave me plenty of motivation to be careful with food and I ended up hitting goal about a week after my last surgery. I also read a study that people who had plastics after bariatric surgery were more likely to maintain the weight loss. In hindsight, I imagine this to be the case because I look awesome now, whereas before plastics I looked like a saggy tube sock and I would have had far less motivation to maintain weight when no matter what I did I was never going to look good. I don't think there's anything wrong with understanding that if you do end up losing the weight, you may still not like the way you look, at which point it would be nice if you had planned ahead and saved for plastics. While in the end my plastics costs a little under $50K, which was fully out of pocket, in the end, it was exponentially worth the cost for me because for the first time since I was a teenager I feel confident in my own skin.

I used Biocorneum for my plastic surgery scars. It has SPF and seems to have worked well. In hindsight my sleeve scars were so minor that it wasn't even something to stress about unless you scar poorly. Sillicone strips that you can get on Amazon also worked well. You can put them on in combination with scar gel.

I'm sure I hit stalls early on in the process, but the one that most made me mad lasted almost 2 months and I was stuck between 170-167. I just could not lose weight. I added an extra hour of cardio, and I really focused on what I was eating and I slowly started to drop again. That was at around 10 months post-op. I also got stuck a little around 200 pounds which I think was about 4-5 months post-op. There are going to be little stalls where you get stuck for a few days or a week, but the big, pia, stalls are usually once you've lost some weight and you've gotten comfortable in your routine and your body decides it doesn't want to lose anymore. That seems to be the point a lot of people quit because it is SO frustrating, however scientifically if you're burning calories and watching your intake at an appropriate level, you will eventually start to lose again.

The only way that I was able to get in all of my fluids was to use a straw. Before that I choked down fluids and it hurt and I felt full. Once I started using a straw I could drink more than enough, I never had any issues with gas, and I used a straw to drink almost everything for probably 2 years. It's only in the last 6 months or so I realized I could drink from a Water bottle or can and not feel like it hurt my throat, although I'm sure that I was capable of this within a few weeks after surgery, I just relied on a straw forever. Some surgeons tell you to use a straw, others tell you not to. Medically using a straw is not going to hurt you and when you struggle with fluids, a straw can make the difference between getting the nutrients you need and not.

I had food funerals too, but the others are right in that a few months after surgery you can eat almost everything you want to and for the things you can't really tolerate, you won't care much. I thought I would miss ice cream, smart puffs, lean cuisines, and Chex mix. I haven't had ice cream in probably a year, purely because I know it's not good for me and I have no craving for it. I can eat smart puffs or Chex mix if I want to, but I just never really want to. Lean Cuisines are now gross to me. Fortunately I was never big on fatty or fried things because now they make me sick, and while I loved sweets before, now sometimes they make me nauseous, but mostly I just don't really care about them. For me, the trick was being able to eat whatever I wanted to, if I wanted to, without it being prohibited. I used to go on diets where the rule was no sweets, or no carbs, and in a few days that's all I wanted, I'd eat one piece and figure, hey I ruined the diet, why bother continuing. Now, if I want any of that stuff I can have it, I'll eat a few bites of it, it will make me feel like I want to die because I never eat it anymore, and then I'm good again for awhile. I love chocolate so at Christmas my rule is I can have as much chocolate as I want and the rest of the year I try to avoid it unless I'm at a birthday and everyone is eating chocolate cake or something. The first year after the sleeve I ate my face off at Christmas. The second year I had a few types of chocolate, but mostly just bags of M&M's for about a week. This year, I had no major interest in it, but New Year's Eve I decided I was allowed to have as much as I wanted. I bought a bag of that chex puppy chow stuff (ok I bought 2 bags in 2 flavors), brownies, Peanut Butter cups, and a few other things. I ate a few handfuls out of both bags of puppy chow, 2-3 peanut butter cups, and half a brownie before I was like, ok, I don't feel great now and that didn't taste that good. I haven't had a bite of chocolate since and I have no real craving for it. So...while it feels like you are giving up all the food you love, you really aren't, and in the long term all the things you feel like you're missing out on (cake, Cookies, ice cream, burgers) won't be things you really care about anymore. At least, fortunately, that's how it worked for me.

I'm sure most of us have cried over not being able to eat something- your reaction is totally normal. Also, the important part is that you didn't eat the pizza! Offhand, I think I may have done some crying about chocolate cake that I couldn't eat on my birthday the first year and there may have been 2-3 other times where I really wanted to enjoy something that my stomach wouldn't tolerate and I ended up sick and crying because I couldn't eat like a normal person. I'm not sure if this helps at all, but I'm 3 months short of 3 years post-op and I don't cry over food anymore. I haven't had any sweets since January and it wasn't because I gave them up, I just have no real interest in eating them. I haven't had pizza in probably 2 years, not because I'm not allowed to eat it but just because I don't really care about it anymore. My friend made dinner tonight and sent me a picture. It was a decently healthy meal of steak, green Beans, and potatoes, and while I thought, hey that looks pretty good, unlike before I had no real urge to go make myself anything. Being thin and fitting into my clothing matters more to me than food. Also I was lucky in that I ended up with a stomach that hates oil, grease, butter, fat, and some forms of dairy, so after about a year of barfing all the time, I finally just stopped having any interest in eating junk. Also, after surgery you are naturally more emotional. I cried because I thought I had ruined my life...turns out everything ended up being just fine.

I can see the validity of your point. I am a reasonably educated person, however my sleeve was self-pay and my surgeon told me nothing about Protein, Water intake, or nutrition. I was in a seminar learning about it one day, and 3 weeks later I was in the OR. I researched thoroughly before I made the decision, but that being said, there is a HUGE variety of advice on how much you're supposed to be drinking and how much protein you're supposed to have. In hindsight I don't think I ever ate anywhere near the amount of protein I was supposed to have because I was focused more on calories. People likely ask the questions they do because they are like me in that literally no one told them anything and they see hugely different suggestions online, or they didn't pay attention to their doctor, lol. If the former is true though, I think they deserve to be cut a bit of slack because it's not so much not doing research as much as it's potentially being overwhelmed by the variations in information and seeking the opinion of people who have actually gone through the procedure.

I used to eat roughly the same thing at Chipotle. If you're only eating one of their salads throughout the day, it seems like you're on target with portions. I can understand though that they don't do uniform serving sizes. I used to get one for lunch, eat a little for lunch, pull it out later and have some for dinner, and then toss about half the rest of the salad (because the lettuce got soggy). Like the other person said, you can potentially buy little containers or a scale, but everything is mixed together, so it's tough to measure that way. You could potentially have them put everything into specific sections of the salad plate, so that you can then later measure out the amount you want to eat. As an example, 1:00 is salsa, 2:00 is chicken, 3:00 is veggies, etc. I have them keep things separate because my salsa tends to make the lettuce soggy, so I'm sure we can't be the only people making weird "keep my food separate" requests.