AvaFern

When you haven't seen him in a month and you live in the same area and he won't text or return your calls, it's time for you to walk away. A man who wants to be with you and considers himself your boyfriend would not act like that and for you to tolerate it any longer just shows him that he can behave however he chooses and you will put up with it. In the time you save no longer wasting time on him, go read the book "Why Men Love B*tches". It's not about being a B, it's about having your own life and making sure that someone doesn't treat you like a back-up plan. It's funny too, but highly accurate. There's also a book "He's Just Not That Into You" which I don't like as much, but it still has some valuable lessons for your situation. Stop texting him, stop calling him, and give yourself the chance to meet someone who would treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

How did I miss the bacon thread?! @@Kindle I'm sorry to see you go

I will be three years post-op in September. Fortunately for me, I have maintained without a ton of effort in year three. I fluctuate within 3 pounds of my goal weight. My scale ritual every morning is what keeps me at that weight. I am accountable every single day, and the few times I have seen my weight start to creep up, I make an immediate change, that day, and within a few days I'm right back down to where I was. I would say the scale is pretty much my only real reason for success, lol. I would also give some credit to my b*tchy little sleeve that made me puke everything for most of year 2, so now I have very little desire to eat anything bad for me because while it doesn't make it as sick as it used to make me, I am SO sick of barfing that I'm just not interested in junk food. I don't feel like I had any major changes in year three other than that I got some real ambition back in life. To be fair, I own several businesses and I am ambitious I suppose, but I started working on long term educational goals again, which I hadn't really thought much about. I don't feel like my life is on hold until I lose weight anymore, so all of the time I save coming up with new diets and excessively exercising I now spend on finding new ways to make myself better. I don't really have anything I'd do differently in year three. This was a pretty good year. It's the first year I've maintained at this low of weight in my entire life without feeling like I was miserable and starving and I've finally really started to feel like a legitimately normal person. I think part of this was being done with plastics. I still tend to buy too much clothing because I am elated it all fits me, but eh, there are worse problems to have, lol. Oops, I just read your last question...wait, are we supposed to start gaining after year three or during year three? I was all excited that I hadn't gained weight, but I'm going to be bummed if the upcoming year is the one to worry about! My advice though would be to weigh yourself everyday. As soon as you slack off, get complacent and start having too much fun with booze and pizza, you gain weight. Every single day I remember that I can be fat again with very little effort, and I think about that when making decisions. To be fair though, I'm largely not interested in food so that makes it easier, lol.

To my knowledge, there should be no reason you can't have honey in tea as long as it's mostly dissolved in the hot tea.

If by a few drinks you mean 2-3 and you're two days before surgery, you're going to be fine. If by a few drinks you mean 10-12, it probably won't kill you, but it isn't the greatest plan. If you think about it, people who go into emergency surgery for far more serious surgeries generally didn't have the option to stop drinking well in advance of surgery and assuming they survive whatever unexpected thing tried to kill them, the alcohol they consumed before surgery isn't likely going to make it any worse, unless we're talking like binge drinking in which case, all bets are off. So...a few drinks, as defined by 2-3, a few days before surgery isn't a big deal. A night of keg stands, beer bongs, and tequila shots probably isn't the best plan.

@@Christinamo7 I am so sorry for your loss. I am not particularly close to my father but I would be devastated if something happened to him, so I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts. Past that, I'm not sure if this is helpful or not, but when I have had stressful times it helps me to remember that I will feel physically better if I give my body nutrition. Stress places a toll on the immune system and you can give your body a little bit of a helping hand if you focus your efforts on feeding it well. If you don't lose weight for a few weeks, this is ok, but if you give your body the nutrients it needs to balance out the immune effect of significant stress, as you recover, you will physically be healthy which is important for your emotional health.

@@CardinalsGirl I also have irregular cycles, however I solved the problem over a decade ago by using depo as my birth control. If you aren't trying to have kids right now and you aren't contraindicated for any other reason, maybe ask your doctor for a switch to depo. You get one shot every three months, which you can give to yourself, and you no longer have a time of the month. While the idea is that it's for birth control, it also works very effectively if you're having extended irregular bleeding. Unlike oral contraceptives, depo is also not contraindicated for surgery so if you are taking the pill already, the switch to depo allows you to stay on birth control when you are approved for the surgery as well, so double win. I haven't had a time of the month in probably a decade. When I was in my early 20's I wasn't using depo for bc so I'd forget to take it for a month or two and then I'd have a few days of the lady friend visiting, but now that I have a doctor that prescribes it so I can just inject myself, as long as I have the shot on schedule, I no longer have any monthly cycle. I also have periodically had anemia issues, and in addition to never having a time of the month I take B12 and an Iron supplement. My values have been fine since.

@@amazon Good for you! What is an extended mini thigh lift? Lol, I had the mini thigh lift, which is the groin incision one and I thought the extended one was the one that went down to your knee, so have they figured out a way to extend it without going all the way to your knee? Of the plastics that I have had, the thigh lift is probably the one that gave me the least awesome results because I didn't want the scar to go to my knee. In hindsight, I'm still not sure if I made the right choice on having that version done or not, but after almost a year of recovery from three plastics procedures, I am so totally over them for awhile. I also had the back of the 360 done and this with my thigh lift was probably my worst procedure, if mostly because it was the one I ended up having the most annoying complications. The first day I was laying on my couch (which thankfully was covered in those adult puppy pad bed wetting things since I learned from past experience incisions leak) and I got up and it look like someone had been murdered. My entire back incision line was still bleeding. Then the midline separated, leaving my a nice gap in the middle of my back which had to be closed twice, then I got a whopping infection in the middle of scar on one side of my butt, which took 6 months to heal and left me with a hole that literally I could fit most of my hand into. Now it's just a scar and it looks like I got shot in the butt, lol. So, I'm telling you all of this because it was all worth it. I would still get the procedure again even if I knew the disaster it was going to end up being for 6 months. The misery was worth it. Oh and one more thing, have you read up on care for the thigh incisions? The trick to keeping those from getting infected is to keep them clean and dry. You only have to do it for about 2-3 weeks, but everytime I went to the bathroom I cleaned all of the incision line with wipes, a clean wet towel, and then I used a blow dryer on the cold setting on top of that. Truly gross sounding so apologies if that's TMI, but my incisions healed perfectly. Good luck!

@@higher Thanks for the wax liner tip! I looked a little like a clown yesterday when I tried on my new red lipstick, so clearly I need the liner, lol. The whitening they included for my bottom teeth so it matches the top ones is the Zoom done at the dentist. On one hand, I'm dreading it because it's going to hurt a lot, but at least then it's all over with in 45 minutes and I don't have to torture myself at home.

I only told my three best friends about the procedure and they have always been supportive. On a side note, when I first saw this post I thought you were asking about the most surprising relationship with food that occurred after surgery, lol. Now that I've read the full post, I'm not sure how I arrived at that initial thought, but maybe this works anyway. My most surprising relationship difference after surgery is that which I have with food. There is no longer good or bad food, food doesn't make me cry (unless it made me sick in which case crying is entirely possible), and I don't eat specific foods for specific moods. I don't avoid any type of food and nothing is banned. I generally don't each chocolate unless it's around the holidays, but the last year or so I just haven't had the same craving for sweets. I haven't had a single baked good, other than a few gluten free oatmeal Cookies last week with my gluten intolerant friend, since 2015. Food is just there now...it doesn't torment me from the pantry or the grocery store and I rarely crave anything. I eat when I'm hungry, sometimes when I'm bored, and I have no real emotional connection to food anymore. There's no excitement at the thought of eating anything and there's no sadness after I eat something that maybe wasn't the healthiest. I can have a few bites of food that tastes good and have no real desire to eat the rest of it. I imagine that I could actually be one of those people that eats one Oreo and not the entire box now, although I don't keep them in the house so who knows. Food and I had an amicable divorce...we're still friendly neighbors, we wave when we see each other, but past that, who knows and who cares what food happens to be doing....it isn't my best friend, my enemy, my boyfriend, my mother, or my emotional crutch/crippler anymore- it just exists. So...that is my biggest relationship change, it just wasn't with a person, haha.

@@OutsideMatchInside Ooh thanks for the Mac tip. I was at the grocery store today and I bought red lipstick...ok I bought two red and one really bright pink coral, lol. I didn't want to be patient and wait until I could go to the mall. I tried them on when I got home, and aside from the fact that I need a little practice with bright red lipstick and maybe lip liner, the finalized version reminded me of why I'm getting my teeth done, lol.

@@Deborah Bennett Thank-you for pointing out the nightguard! That is also part of the treatment plan, I just forgot to mention it. My treatment plan just for the top teeth is like 3 pages long, but somewhere on there is a nightguard. I would be very upset if I broke my brand new teeth, lol. Apparently they also want me to wear flouride trays at night? And when invisalign is done a retainer? I'm like...I'm going to choke to death in my sleep with all that stuff in my mouth. Unfortunately, because the two crowns I have in the front are "unstable" the dentist and I were both concerned they would pop out of my mouth again if I did the invisalign first, so the current plan is to do the top 10 crowns and Zoom the bottom to match the top, then use invisalign to even everything out. Then after invisalign is done, then we will put two bridges in the back of my mouth where I had molars pulled. Like you, he said the best plan would be to do invisalign first, but the chance that my crowns fail between now and when the straightening process is finished is high and I'm afraid of being in a meeting and having my tooth fall out. You also make a good point about telling surgeons about dental work. Hopefully they aren't resting the laryngoscope on my teeth to intubate, but they might be even more motivated to not do that if they know how much those front teeth cost to replace, haha. I think the 010 color is closest to the Bl1 and 0M1 I was looking at. I've read online a lot more people being bummed that they didn't go light enough than that they ended up with teeth that were too bright. I wonder if the dentist can do half my temporaries in the brightest shade and half in the second brightest so I can have a better idea...

@@B-52 For the amount of money it costs to have your teeth done, going all the way white seems like a good plan to me! I was like, for what this is costing, I don't want natural white, I want bright, gleaming, brilliant white...just like the color the new car might be that I could buy with the money my teeth are costing, lol.

@@OutsideMatchInside I think you're right-I'm really leaning toward being super white and it's my smile, lol, so my call right? I had to look up what Dior 063 was and hello awesome lipstick color! I thought I had at least one red lipstick but when I went to find it last night the closest I had was a hot pink that I got as part of a promotional pack for my night cream. The last time I considered wearing red lipstick was probably about 8 years ago and I tried several colors and none of them looked good with my teeth. I'm going to have to get dressed and go out somewhere when my teeth are finished just so I can wear brilliant bright red lipstick!

@@higher I would be impressed with myself too if I had that teeth that matched that shade! I'm more toward the top 1/3 of whiteness, which works out to be slightly yellow, lol. The plan is to whiten my bottom teeth so they match the top fake ones, which I'm dreading because I have sensitive teeth. I assured the dentist though that I would happily sit in the chair and cry until the procedure was over- beauty is painful, lol.

I am spending the holiday alone, although I have spent most holidays alone as an adult and it doesn't really bother me. This time last year was the first time I had boyfriend on the 4th of July, so I feel a little bummed I guess. Where I am now though in life is so much further along than I was last year and a big part of that was because the relationship didn't work out. I liked the guy, he liked me, but he moved back to where his family lives, mostly because had he stayed with me it would have come at the cost of his trust fund, lol. This time last summer I was just working on my business, and I had no real goals in life other than to just keep on keepin' on. This year I've finished another degree, I got into a competitive MBA program, and I got into law school, both of which I start in August. In losing my boyfriend, I found my own direction again and while I will spend this weekend alone working, I am very happy keeping company with myself.

@@treblecutie23 Good for you! I called my sleeve surgery a 30th birthday gift to myself and plastics was the birthday gift for the next year. I also didn't really think the skin would bother me and it kinda didn't much until I realized how much better it could be. I had a lipo consult and then I randomly said...hey, I wonder what new boobs would be like. I liked the surgeon so much I went back later that week for a tummy tuck consult and a year later I had had arms, boobs, stomach, back, and thighs done. It was a long process of recovery, but it's been over a year now since my last surgery and everyday I am thankful that I had the work done. I can wear clothing I never could have worn before, I'm a few sizes smaller purely because I don't have to make room for extra skin anymore, and for the first time ever I can wear things like crop tops and strapless tops. Plastics is wonderful and you will be thrilled with the results. As for the guy...don't let stupid bother you. There are some people who won't date you because of skin- this is true and something I've accepted. I know that my thighs are not awesome because I went with the groin incision lift and I know there are men in the world who won't like me because my legs aren't great looking. They might also not like me because I have a scar that runs around my waist or because I have scars on my arm or because when I flatiron my hair it's kinda thin or because my teeth aren't perfectly straight or because of a million superficial reasons that are unique for everyone. I can't blame them...there are things that I don't find attractive in a guy and I will be honest (hopefully if guys read this on here no one is offended), I wouldn't date a guy who had a lot of loose skin or a guy who was obese. It's just not something I'm attracted to. I also don't really like blonde guys (it's like dating a Ken doll), I'm not into guys with long hair, I don't love a lot of beard, I don't do excessive piercings, under 5'7 doesn't float my boat, guys with no ambition, intelligence or who live with their mom aren't my thing, and I don't date guys with kids....not because I don't like kids but because I know at this point I wouldn't be a good parent. We all have things that make us unattracted and unattractive to others - this doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or him (ok he is a tool for actually saying it, but feeling it is ok), just the way things go. Good luck in surgery! I'm sure you will love the finished version of the new you!

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch There is the minimal incision brachioplasty, which doesn't run the scar down your whole arm, and then to my knowledge the full brachioplasty does sort of look like a v except you end up with single line running from your elbow to your armpit. That line for most people runs along the inside of their arm between where the bicep and tricep muscle split. For me, I had him place the scar more toward the back of my arm so that it runs along the inside of my elbow to my armpit, but runs along what almost works out to be right in the middle of my tricep. This way when my arms are at my side, you can't see the scar from the back or the front and when I lift my arms up like if you would extend your arms to hug someone, the interior of my arm doesn't have a scar either. I'm having a hard time describing it without using anatomical terms, lol, so below are pictures. This is the normal version: https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.locateadoc.com%2Fpictures%2Fgallery%2Farm-lifts-brachioplasty-after-fullsize-36617-72054.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.locateadoc.com%2Fpictures%2Farm-lifts-brachioplasty-c36617&docid=1-slqCzrmDZHnM&tbnid=jxIMNwfFhHIBkM%3A&w=1600&h=1075&bih=727&biw=1588&ved=0ahUKEwiGjf7pu8nNAhULpx4KHcAACiIQMwiVAShhMGE&iact=mrc&uact=8 This is the version of the scar that I have which comes with a video and an explanation instead of just letting me only paste the picture link: http://www.theplasticsurgerychannel.com/2013/03/27/brachioplasty/

I had all of those procedures done and I love the results. Check out realself.com for a lot of information. As for the brachioplasty, I would suggest going for the scar that is further back than the traditional scar. Many surgeons still use the scar that runs along the inside of your arm so that whenever you move your arms people see it. I had my surgeon place the scar further back so that when my arms are down or facing forward no one can see it. I am SO happy I did it that way because while my scars healed very well, the brachioplasty is the one thing that people can tell I had done with normal clothing on and having the scars only visible from the back at certain angles has made me fall less self conscious. My surgeon did a perfect job of scar placement and the only time you can see my scar is if I lift my arms over my head and turn my hands backward or from the back of I bend my elbows.

I had plastic surgery sort of back to back. I had my first procedure in September 2014, the next one in November 2014, and the last one in March 2015. I didn't notice a difference in my hair. My hair thinned after sleeve surgery and did it again randomly last summer and again randomly about a month ago, but I can't really attribute it to surgery because so many people have surgery and don't have hair loss. After sleeve it's more that you body is so shocked by first, the fact that you cut out its stomach, and second the fact that you feed it next to nothing for weeks. Minimization of hair loss can usually be helped by making sure you get your Vitamins, Protein, and general nutrients. I also recently read that Potassium can help prevent hair loss.

If it makes you feel better, you don't actually have to spend the rest of your life eating with a dry mouth. I knew from the start that I wasn't willing to not have a drink with meals and so I chose to ignore that rule. It's in place so that you don't wash food through your stomach any more quickly and thus you eat less. If you can moderate your intake there's no reason you can't drink with meals. I'm almost 3 years out, I've been at goal for over a year, and I've always had a drink with my meals. Past that, I think losing was hard for me because I felt like it took forever. You stall sometimes which is annoying. I got stuck around 166-170 for two months. I spent the 18 months it took me to hit goal, working out at least an hour, usually closer to 3 everyday and almost always eating well (I had a few off the wagon days around the holidays). When I had my first plastics procedure I couldn't work out a much for awhile and I slowly finally got to a point where now I don't really have to do much in the way of working out, I eat mostly the same foods everyday which I'm fine with, and I float right around my goal within 1-3 pounds. Doing what you need to do to get to goal is hard....everything after that point isn't easy, but it's a whole lot easier being vigilant everyday about not gaining weight than it is spending everyday working out and counting calories in the hopes that you can lose a little. If you accept that the rest of your life is going to be somewhat oriented toward a healthy lifestyle, then you'll be fine. This isn't a quick fix, I ended up with a sleeve that can't eat certain foods or I barf, and if I want to stay thin I must weigh every day and pay attention to what I'm eating every single day. Maybe the hardest part is knowing that even when you're a normal size, if you want to stay that way, you don't ever get to be the normal skinny person who eats whatever they want and doesn't gain weight. If you remember that in the end it's entirely worth every bit of misery, then maybe that will be helpful during the journey.

I can understand the fear, although fortunately for now I don't have to go through this. I had a fibroadenoma when I was in my mid-20's, which I had never heard of. I was completely freaked out when I found it, and while a mammogram showed it was fine, I haven't forgotten the terror. My grandmother died of breast cancer and while it isn't in my family anywhere else, there is still the paranoia. When I had a breast lift and augment my doctor scooped out all the lumps, biopsied the big one, and now I have no more issues. I have big fake no-more-lumpy boobies. This is not only far less stressful for me, even though I still get annual ultrasounds and mammograms, but even my OBGYN as very happy because she's no longer concerned about the random lumps that used to be all over the place. From what I can tell I had a lot of breast tissue removed and then replaces with the implants, which seems to have very much minimized my issues. I'm not sure if that would be effective for you, but it was very helpful for me.

Strictly in terms of weight loss, yoga isn't that helpful, but it provides a lot of other benefits. As the other person noted, it helps keep you flexible, so you avoid injury doing other things. Yoga can also help you relax, which is important for cardiac health and your mental sanity. You aren't likely going to look like the teacher if you're only doing yoga, but it certainly isn't going to hurt you. I hate yoga...I am not zen, I am not calm, and it makes me feel like I am wasting time. I can recognize though that it has a lot of benefits for your health and so I encourage you to try it. Burn some calories for me.

Like @@B-52 said, I also told no one exclusively because I didn't feel like dealing with their judgement. Ok, wait, I lied there...I told my three best friends after I had the surgery because I can't keep my mouth shut, but to my knowledge they have never told anyone and they have never once made me feel like I took the easy way out or I did something wrong. I was 100% sure that first, everyone would be watching to see if I gained the weight back and then have all kinds of things to say about me and second that everyone would be watching to see how I eat and to judge that too. I may not have the thickest skin ever and I know that, so I made a point to tell no one. Again, like B-52 said, the fact that I was fat is now old news. I am almost 3 years out and most people don't tend to see me as the reformed fat girl but just a normal size person. There are no more annoying comments about how much weight I've lost, no really how much in pounds have you lost, no more thoughts about what I eat or how often I exercise, and I just get to live like a normal person. I am very happy I chose to tell no one because now there are no resentful rude comments about how I cheated or I don't deserve to be thin because I cut out my stomach and that makes it a lot easier to feel comfortable as a "normal-sized" person.

So go drink one. I clicked on your post because I'm drinking sugar free Red Bull at the moment and it is my daily morning wake me up drink, so I figured I'd encourage someone else to drink one too. Past that, the other replies are accurate. Get your labs checked. B12 deficiency contributes to anemia which contributes to your red blood cells not being able to carry as much oxygen, which then causes your organs to not have enough O2 and then, voila, you are tired and feel like crap. It is also possible that you are just tired because you're recovering from a major surgery, a different type of eating and exercise. I remember being tired around that time. There have also been a few times since where for a week or two I have just felt exhausted. The first few times it happened I thought there was something wrong with me, except then I felt fine again fairly quickly. Earlier this year I had about 2-3 weeks where I felt like death- not sick just so fatigued I felt like I couldn't function. I had a regularly scheduled doctors appt and my PCP is awesome so I requested and he approved a CBC, a nutrition panel and a thyroid panel- everything was fine. I started taking Vitamins regularly including the Iron supplement I probably don't need but I take it anyway and I've been fine. About two weeks ago I had another batch of labs done because hey, I pay insurance why not make them pay for something to, and all my labs were fine. So...moral of that long story about labs...I am almost 3 years out from surgery and there are times I feel super tired too. In the end everything is always fine and sometimes it's just a matter of giving ourselves a break for a few days. I slept 8.5 hours last night, which is epic long for me and the longest I've slept in weeks, and I woke up feeling like a new woman. So, check your lab work to make sure you aren't deficient in anything and then if not, give yourself a break. Sometimes our body just needs us to to be a little nice to it so it can catch up a little bit.