AvaFern

I also did not post anything to FB about my surgery and I only told three people. I think I updated my profile picture, which I had set as an older picture for quite some time at about 8 months out, then again at a little over a year. I haven't update my profile pic since Christmas, but the amusement of looking cute in pictures hasn't quite escaped me yet, lol.

@@KristenLe Haha! I thought Dunkin Donuts too! I didn't know Dungeons and Dragons was still something you could play!

I haven't been to a buffet post-op, which doesn't mean much really, even though it's been three years. I was never really much into buffets and now I'd rather go someplace where I am fairly sure I know what the food was cooked in so I can avoid barfing. I am pretty sure you are never going to get your money's worth at a buffet anymore, lol, especially if they don't let you take a doggy bag home! Like @@jess9395 said, if I am at an event where there is a buffet, I plan ahead and save enough calories to enjoy myself, but not enough that I get there and I'm starving. Usually I'll get a plate and pick at it for a few hours...sometimes I eat the whole plate, which is a normal person portion size, and sometimes I don't...depends how bored I am. I tend to get whatever I want, although if I was still trying to lose weight I would try to stick with Proteins like steak, fish, ...stuff like that...and avoid rice, potatoes, and things that make you full without really being terribly nutritious. I feel like a big reason people go out to dinner is to socialize, so if you get a plate or two, pick at portions of it, and toss the rest, you still get to enjoy yourself and your friends without derailing your diet. A big thing I had to get over was wasting food...I was raised in a "clean your plate" house and it took me awhile to get over being worried about the starving kids in Africa when I threw out 3/4 of my dinner. Once I got over that, it helped a lot.

I started at 4 weeks, but technically 6 weeks is the standard. Biking should be fine as should yoga at about a month as long as you aren't twisting quickly or making sharp movements.

Like the others said, most people don't dump. I got a lovely sleeve that doesn't like fats and sugars, which to be honest I'm appreciative of. The first year when I ate junk food I would get hot, sweaty, and my heart would pound for about 20 minutes. The second year I would be puking with slime running out of my mouth within about 5 minutes and then feel all better. Now, in the third year I'm somewhere between being able to eat somethings that are not great for me and just not feeling like getting sick so avoiding them. From reading posts on here for the last three years, I did not get the impression that most sleeve patients have an issue with dumping. This is generally avoided because with the sleeve you get to keep a little of your stomach, which prevents the sugar and oil from being dumped right into your intestine, which is what makes you sick.

I cheated on my pre-op diet too and mine was only a week. I had diet cheese puffs and a Lean Cuisine I think, which given it was a clear liquid diet did note exactly demonstrate my willpower. A lot of people cheat on their pre-op diet, feel bad about it, and then cheat more because they feel bad, so the trick is to just get right back on the wagon. I'm almost 3-years post-op and the last 10-days or so I haven't been the greatest on eating very well. I was feeling pretty pleased that I wasn't gaining weight until two days ago when my weight jumped up a few ounces and then yesterday I woke up at the top of my acceptable 3-pound from goal weight range. So, the last two days I've been being careful with what I eat, and this morning I woke up right back where I usually am, although I'll keep being careful for a few days to balance out what I did to myself last week. A big difference for me now is that I don't consider it cheating anymore when I eat something bad, which I think is why I find it fairly easy to get back on track without totally derailing myself like in the past. Last week I had dental work done and my face hurt, so I had corn chowder and Peanut Butter and jelly and all kinds of soft junk food. Man it was good and before surgery I would have used the fact that I didn't eat very healthily to justify going on a few week bender where I gained 10 pounds. Now though, I'm not saying I cheated on my diet, because I'm not on a diet...I eat what I want to and I modify the foods that go into my mouth when the scale says I need to eat better. I'll exercise more in the next few days, and I'll be extra careful logging everything into MyFitnessPal, and soon enough I'll be back at the bottom of my 3-pound allowed swing range. So, to make a long story less long, lol, after surgery (like way after surgery- not a week after surgery) if you have a day or two where you fall off the diet wagon, try not to think of it as cheating and just see it as a day where you had too many calories that you will make up for later. It's kinda like when you spend money you shouldn't so you budget for a few days to make up for it. As long as you aren't shopping your way into overdrafts and bankruptcy, in this analogy, your checking account recovers from an indiscretion, just like your diet will. The key though is to make sure you're paying attention to your balance, or in this case, the scale. I weigh everyday so I know immediately when my weight is going up and I make steps that day to fix the problem. Hopefully, maintenance is more about keeping the checking account balanced rather than consistently being perfect about having a high balance, or ignoring a run of overdrafts. Thanks to my analogy...I now want to go shopping, but hopefully you get what I mean.

Shopping, lol...my closet has become ridiculous.

My hair loss lasted from about 6 months-ish through 18 months or so. I still periodically have my hair thin out, but I recently saw a picture of my hair now and a picture of it about 18 months ago and the difference is amazing. I was so worried about how thin my hair was I didn't realize that it had pretty much all grown back to my old level of thickness. I was never noticeably balding thank God, but my hair suffered for about a year. I have been within 5-7 pounds of goal for about 22 months or so, and I have been floating within 3 pounds of goal for about 15 months. I take Biotin, which I don't know if it helps or not, but it is only the last 6 months or so that I feel like my hair is back to normal, even if, just because of my genetics, it will never be super thick.

@@Sharon1964 @@Inner Surfer Girl I think we have the right to our own privacy, regardless of how far into a relationship we are. If you do not tell someone that you had a form of cancer that is genetically linked, that you had a sex change, that you have a major disease, or any other form of medical secret that will impact their life and the lives of their children, if they happen to have children with you, then this is wrong. If, however, you choose to keep the fact that you had your stomach cut out to yourself, this will in no way impact their future and has no relevance on their life or the future of your lives together. While I think we all certainly have the right to agree to disagree, my point is that every person has the right to keep their secrets when those secrets have zero impact on their partner's life or health. If someone broke up with me because I did not tell them I had a sleeve, I would find them to be fantastically clingy and insecure in themselves and I would be over it fairly quickly. If a man cannot respect my privacy and my right to my own past in the same way that I respect theirs...then that is not someone that I would be compatible with. Everyone has a past and everyone has the right to keep some of that past to themselves...for some people like me, the sleeve falls into that category. On a further note, I told my most recent ex about the plastic surgery I had because my scars were fairly new and one was still healing. It seemed fair to give him a heads-up. The next time I am intimate with someone I will feel no need to delve into why I have scars all over my naked self. If he asks, I will tell him, since obviously you can see these scars and you can't see my sleeve, but past that it is my body and my business. I feel no need to go into detail about how I had a bunch of skin removed and how I used to be fat when ultimately I now look fantastic (sort of fantastic at least). My last ex asked me why I had so much work done and I told him that as I had gotten older I was unhappy with how I looked and had it fixed. We left it at that, and had he pushed for more info I would have gotten annoyed and distanced myself quickly. Everyone has secrets and when they have zero impact on my life, it is not my right to demand to know what they are purely because I happen to be in a serious relationship with that person. If someone I dated did not have that same understanding, we probably never would have gotten to the "serious" part anyway. @ Your question doesn't make you unpopular..it's a valid point. I chose not to tell people because I know I would get my feelings hurt when people made judgey comments. Much as I say I don't care what people think about me...part of me does and I knew that it would bother me if all I ever heard was that I got thin because I had my stomach cut out. I also hid all of the old pictures of me when I was fat too, lol, because I am ashamed of that part of my life and I would prefer that it not be a point for conversation if I meet new people. Being fat is not who I am, it's just what I was at one point, and I did not want it to factor into my future. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being open about your surgery and it will likely empower others to do the same. I am just a very private person and I knew that having that big of a personal detail as public knowledge would cause me far more hurt than I was willing to deal with. That is why I chose to keep it largely secret and it is a decision that I have time and time again found to have been the right one for my life and my situation.

I tell no one I am dating because it is none of their business. I also chose to only tell my three best friends and to this day (almost 3-years post-op) those are the only people that know. I had plastics, so I don't have the scars on my stomach, but if I did I would just say I had my gallbladder removed. The placement of the scars is a bit different, but 99% of men are not going to know that or be paying enough attention to care. I did not date until I had reached goal and had most of my plastics procedures done because I knew it would be a distraction. My boyfriend then made comments that I did not eat a lot and my response was...do you like having a hot gf? Right? Well then no, I don't get to eat ice cream, it's kind of part of wearing a size 2. It irks me when men comment on what I eat, which the vast majority never do. At any rate, the few times someone says something I just say...I had a big lunch, I'm just not really hungry today, I drank way to much Water before dinner, I'm saving room for dessert later (which I then conveniently forget to order), or any variety of perfectly valid excuses. The only person I will ever tell about surgery is maybe someone I am in a long-term, serious, almost getting married relationship with. My prior surgeries are none of their business. Everyone has secrets and mine is nothing that is ever going to hurt anyone not to know. Relationships are not always about someone knowing every little secret detail about you, particularly those that have no relevance on the relationship. Your new boyfriend has secrets too...in the same way you respect his right to keep them, respect your own right to keep yours to yourself until if and when you may choose not to. Simply dating someone does not mean you have to tell them everything, or even anything, about your life that you might not be ready to talk about. Have a good time with your new man, eat how you want to without feeling the need to justify yourself, and if and when you feel like you are comfortable, maybe tell him, maybe don't, either decision is entirely valid and only yours to make.

I wore sports bras, but @@OutsideMatchInside idea should work perfectly. The incision along the bra line is fairly small, so either a small bandage taped in place or just two sports bras (helps make up for not having a wire) would work too.

Good for you! Plastics was an excellent decision for me. I am now almost 2 years out from my first surgery and over a year out from my last surgery and everyday I am thankful for what I look like thanks, largely in part, to my brilliant plastic surgeon.

If you want to be creative you can use the phrase "informed consent". When you consented to surgery, you agreed to the surgery based upon an understanding of what your financial responsibility would be. If you had been told that you would owe almost 10K, you would not have had the surgery and you would not have provided consent. As such, they did not fully educate you about all aspects of the surgery, which the cost is included in that, thus you did not provide fully "informed" consent, which makes the procedure illegal. If they performed surgery without providing fully informed consent, which a good attorney can argue includes the cost that you would need to pay, they have a much bigger problem to worry about than your bill.

After you have fully recovered from surgery, you no longer have any medically-required restrictions. There is literally not a single rule I can think of that if you break you will actually physically hurt yourself. There are plenty that will just make you fat again, which isn't the point either, but no, the sleeve is great because it allows you to be a normal person and eat normal food. For example, the other poster noted you can't eat while you drink. Yes you can. I was not willing to have a dry mouth with food for the rest of my life and the only reason they tell you not to drink while you eat is because it washes the food through your stomach faster so you eat more. It doesn't hurt you it just makes you lose less weight if you don't pay attention to what you're eating. You also don't HAVE to eat Protein first- it won't kill you to eat a piece of cake for dinner sometimes. You can drink with a straw...in fact a straw is a really great way to get all of your fluids in after surgery when drinking without a straw makes it feel like you're swallowing rocks. I do agree that you should take Vitamins. If you miss them sometimes, no biggie, if you don't take the bariatric ones after the first few months, this is fine too, but B12 especially is important because your stomach no longer helps produce this and you have the potential to end up anemic without a supplement. I have forgotten my B12 for months at a time and my blood values are always fine...but based on science, you need to take that one- the rest are negligible but again, based on evidence, you do need to take vitamins if purely because right now that is what research says is best. I haven't found I do better or worse with vitamins- my body processes food fine without them, however while I am 3 years out and feel like I know it all, I also recognize that in 5 years this may no longer be the case so I take vitamins now even if I don't see them as being overly helpful. I take the ones that don't make me feel sick and that I like, which would not be the gross bariatric ones they tell you you have to take. Past that in terms of food, after your stomach is healed you can medically eat whatever you want. If you eat too much or you eat too quickly, you're probably going to get sick and barf. You're only hurting your own ability to lose weight- once you are healed, you aren't physically hurting your stomach, you're just going to make it mad and it will respond by making you feel like crap. That's about the extent of what happens when you eat garbage. I have a sleeve that doesn't really like fried food, cream, sugar, or oily stuff...she pukes when I try to feed her those things, but gradually I have learned that I can still have a few bites, slowly, and I'll be fine. I just can't go eat half a burger anymore and expect it to go well. Most people though are able to tolerate the majority of foods just fine, which again, before surgery I can see as being important, but after surgery, it's really kind of a blessing to not be able to eat foods that make you fat. At almost three years out, this week I have not eaten very well at all. I had dental surgery, which seems to be an ongoing miserable process until it's all finished. My mouth hurts and I'm cranky, so I've had some Peanut Butter and jelly, a few half-cups of corn chowder from Panera (which I usually avoid because of the cream), a few sushi wonton thingies from the grocery store, and a few other things that are soft and which I don't generally eat a lot of. I haven't gained any weight (I weigh every morning) and the calories I'm eating are really not much more than usual. My sleeve has not remotely prevented me from eating anything I've felt like eating this week, but my head has kept me in check. There is a sandwich in my fridge that looks really good and is probably soggy because I left it in there overnight...before the sleeve I would have eaten it because I didn't want to waste it and today I'll probably throw it out. I have a bag of candy in my pantry leftover from Easter of which I haven't had a single piece and a little bit of sorry for myself sugar might be nice, but really, I don't have any interest in eating it because it will either still be there tomorrow if I want it, or I can always go get more. After awhile the idea is that you recognize that if you want to have a brownie, you can, but you think, eh, I don't really want it. If you want a few bites of cake, you can eat some, and then go back to munching on veggies at a party. If you want to have some food at a BBQ, you eat the meat, or 1/4 of a burger with a roll, and then you don't feel the need to eat half the macaroni salad too. The sleeve does not prevent you from eating whatever you want whenever you want after a year or two, but it teaches you that you don't need to eat as much as it seems like you want because you can stop at a few bites and be completely content. Had I said that three years ago I would have thought it was hysterical, but I am now the person that can have a bag of Cookies in the pantry, eat only one of them and then forget that they are there. The goal is to be thin and while you CAN eat whatever you want, this does not mean that you SHOULD and if you do things right, in the end, hopefully you decide that even though you can eat something, you have no real desire to. It may not sound like a win at the moment, but I promise it is.

Let your doctor know that you will change it to the 22nd and after that will not be changing it again. Your time is valuable too. Doctors like to get their way and they are used to patients doing what they want them to, but ultimately they are regular people to. Explain to them that you have now changed the date twice and will not be changing it again. Leave it there. If they try to change it again let them know that you will be consulting another surgeon and will review the current practice appropriately online. I can appreciate that it is annoying to have the surgery pushed to the 22- I would be mad too. Think though...the surgeon is cutting your stomach out and he wants someone special there to assist him. My question would be...why? Why is my case different, why do you need someone to help you, why are you not comfortable doing this on your own, why is this special helper so important that you need to derail 10 days of my time? I would probably even ask him those questions, but in the end I would rather he have his special helper with him than he kill me because he doesn't feel confident doing the surgery alone. 10 days is not asking a lot if the exchange is a successful surgery.

My surgeon was a jerk, so I saw him at my 3 week follow-up and never saw him again. If he had not had his head so far up his a** there were a few times I would have gone back to see him but I was so against being treated like a fat idiot that I just dealt with it myself. I have a PCP that runs my blood work for me when I ask for it, which has been at least once a year and sometimes 2-3 times depending on what I feel like checking. My PCP is awesome...he treats me like an equal, he listens to what I have to say, and he largely gives me what I ask for because he recognizes that I am not actually stupid like my surgeon apparently thought. So, in answer to your question, no, unless you have complications there is no need to continue to go to your surgeon forever. Your PCP can complete the same blood work for you and you're not being billed a specialist's fee. If you like your surgeon, then go see him. I imagine he would like to see how his patient's end up in the long term, but if he is expensive or you're just over being at the office, an annual physical and blood panel from your PCP is more than adequate and probably a little cheaper.

I have a lot of days where I have no interest in food and if anything I am very appreciative for that because it keeps me thin. If you're consistently getting in over 600 calories, and you're not underweight, enjoy the honeymoon period when you don't like food. Your appetite comes back and then it makes it really hard to lose the last bit of weight. If you take advantage of the few months you have where food grosses you out a little, you can use that to get to goal, and by the time you are there, there's a good chance you will actually like food again and you can focus on maintenance. Your monthly losses are fairly normal and if you are getting adequate Fluid and Vitamins, then focus on protein- even if it is in liquid form. A year from now you will likely wish you had no interest in eating and it is a whole lot easier to manage an appetite when you aren't still trying to lose weight. I have days where I want to eat half my pantry, and days where I choke down a few crackers and I have otherwise no interest in eating. They balance out so that on average I get right about the amount of calories and nutrients I should be eating. If you are sincerely concerned that something is wrong, ignore me- but just from my perspective, you aren't losing an excessive amount of weight, you're still above goal, and if you're not dehydrated or nutrient deficient, medically you are fine in the short term and can use this to your advantage.

I agree with the others- you look healthy, and you have a great hourglass shape. I would say that I wished I felt like I was too skinny, lol, but I'm pretty sure that's never going to happen. Most days I look in the mirror and I think I look good, bordering on darn good at times, although there are times where I see myself in a picture or catch myself in a reflection and I think...ok, maybe I need to get an extra workout in this week. I think most people struggle with body acceptance- not just those of us who have lost a lot of weight.

There are plenty of people who see a therapist for food related concerns- this is an entirely normal and very healthy thing to do. I have seen a therapist in the past for various concerns and who else is going to listen to you talk for 50 minutes without being judgemental, and actually give you legitimate, rational ideas for how to improve your mental health? If you can find a therapist that you mesh well with, this can be a great addition to your healthcare, even if you really don't talk about food at all. I tend to think a lot of us became fat because we have emotional issues that are buried under all of the years of using food for comfort and if you can dig out what my therapist called "the big T's and the little T's" (T stands for trauma and it's not just about big traumatic issues, but little ones that add up over time) you can work to recover not just as a person who uses food as a drug in a sense, but also as a person in general. Taking care of your mental health has an enormous impact on your physical health and if you have the means to have a therapist, it will really only help you. You go to the dermatologist for a skin check, to your PCP for physicals, and your dentist to get your teeth cleaned- sometimes a trip to the therapist is just another type of personal maintenance. There doesn't have to be something wrong with you to have a check-up with every other doctor- seeing a therapist is no different.

I think my new thing is going to be to comment on all the posts about food. I just wrote two paragraphs about crackers...so now I'm going to write about PB&J. As a note, I'm 3 years out, I've been at goal for about 18 months, and I've been within 5 pounds of goal for almost two years (it took flipping forever to lose those last 5 pounds). Guess what I ate last week? An entire box of those awful Smuckers Uncrustables with Peanut Butter and honey. I had major dental work done, everything I ate hurt my face, and those were soft and didn't add to my misery. They were good and I ate all four of them in less than 24 hours. I felt like my old fat self, except the difference between now and then is that I also didn't really eat anything else that day and I have no interest in having them again anytime soon. I didn't gain any weight, and I actually managed to lose a pound during that time, probably because the crackers I usually eat hurt my mouth with all the salt they have on them. You know what else I liked to do? Some days if I feel in the mood for something sweet, I will order the kids PB&J from Panera. I tend to forget about this when I say I don't eat sweets almost ever, but given the fact that I used to have a few Cookies, I'm fine with treating myself to a PB&J once every few weeks. Three months after surgery I ate my face off in chocolate, I regularly ate half a Panera panini, oozing with cheese, and sometimes I had two TWO!! Starbucks cake pops in a day- within a few months after surgery! I didn't adapt to the way I eat now by cutting everything out immediately. Most days I eat chicken, goldfish, granola bars, and some form of vegetable Soup, but the other day I had Panera corn chowder, and guess what, I didn't get fat, I didn't die, and for once the cream in it didn't make me sick. No, you shouldn't be eating PB&J two weeks after surgery, but for some people, it does them no good to ban them from certain foods forever because it just makes them want those foods more. My sleeve works for me because I can eat anything I want to and so I no longer have any real interest in things that were once forbidden. What works for one person doesn't work for another and I try very hard to not judge someone else's diet based on my own stomach. I am now going to eat a handful of Peanut Butter Captain Crunch for Breakfast after I just drank two sugar free Red Bull...because I can and it's good and when I factor in what I eat the rest of the day, it is an entirely appropriate part of a normal day.

So I skipped like 6 pages of posts because I don't really want to debate crackers, lol, but in response to the original question, I think they most likely meant things like triscuits or those crackers that break into pieces that have sharp parts. Wheat Thins, if you chew them a lot, get nice and soft and have a consistent base, although the "chew it a lot" part is important because those little crackers have nasty sharp corners if you aren't paying attention. There are also some crackers that have cracked wheat in them, so it's like they pressed whole wheat into a cracker, and when you bite into it, all the little pieces break off. Basically anything that has the possibility of staying sharp or being a seed, which some crackers that are less processed are, is something you want to avoid for awhile. It probably won't hurt you, but this way you avoid the risk of those little sharp, hard pieces, finding their way into the edges of your sleeve and getting stuck as it heals. Past that, I love crackers. I can't have Wheat Thins because I will eat the entire box in a day, so I just don't bring them into the house. It's probably been over a year since I had Wheat Thins. I do however like the little snack packs of goldfish. I eat goldfish all day because it is salty, the amount of calories I end up eating isn't that much, and unlike a lot of other stuff it doesn't make me barf. As a disclaimer, probably don't make crackers your main menu item, but once you're almost three years out, which is my case, you find that there are some things you can eat that aren't on the approved menu that don't make you gain weight and that make you happy. Enjoy those things. I can't eat sweets anymore because they make me sick, so I really have no interest in them. I avoid junk food salty stuff because it doesn't really taste good any more, and I just don't really have any urge to eat about 90% of food. I make sure that when I do eat stuff other than my beloved goldfish, it has Protein, and I don't stress about it. If you can eat a few crackers and not the whole bag, just make sure you chew them a lot the first few weeks. You will find the things that work for you and your life.

@Bufflehead is right. The sleeve is new for weight loss, but people have had part or all of their stomach removed for decades as part of the treatment for cancer. While we don't have long term studies based on VSG as a bariatric surgery there are tons of studies about the efficacy of removing the stomach for other purposes. I was also really worried about the fact that this was a forever kind of surgery, and it did concern me that in the future maybe something would go wrong, but the more I researched the more I felt better about it. I was 29 when I had the surgery, so I can also appreciate that you feel like you're a little earlier in life and you need your body to last for six more decades or so. You will be fine...but the nerves are just part of the process. A year from now you will very likely look back on this and think, whew, best decision ever!

@@Red_lips_and_confidence Enjoy a piece of your candy occasionally. We did not have surgery to spend the rest of our lives never enjoying food. Guess what? At three months post-op I had chocolate..10 days of chocolate at Christmas because I have a deal with myself that I only get chocolate between Christmas and New Year. I did not die, I did not gain weight, and it was damn good. January I then got right back on the wagon and did not have any chocolate again until the next year. Here is the funny part though...last Christmas was my third Christmas post-sleeve. I knew that if I wanted to have chocolate I could and I had zero interest in any sweets at all until I realized it was New Year's Eve and I had not had anything fun to eat! I got a bag of Peanut Butter cups, a brownie, two bags of that puppy chow stuff, and a few other random pieces of chocolate. I was going to enjoy the heck out of the night and I had maybe two peanut butter cups, a few bites of brownie, a handful of puppy chow and I was then like, ok I think I might die, this was not fun. I then put the junk away and had no interest in eating any more of it again. There is nothing wrong with wanting a piece of candy now and then of the foods you named, if you only have a few bites, you are not going to hurt yourself and you might not even get sick. I used to get hot flashes with sugar, so you might dump, you might not. I did not get a sleeve so I could eat chicken and broccoli for the rest of my life and there is no reason you can't periodically enjoy some junk food. The part you might find most amusing though is that after awhile you don't really crave that food any more. I got an Easter basket filled with sugary Snacks that I would have normally loved. I poured it all into a ziploc bag figuring I would eat it later and I haven't had a single piece. I think it's somewhere in my pantry. I LOVE sugar...or maybe more appropriately, I LOVED sugar. I could eat a bakery. At almost three years post-op, I very rarely crave any kind of baked good, I have zero interest in candy, and if I want a snack, my go-to not great for me food is crackers and a Fiber One bar. I think part of the reason for this is because with a sleeve, there is no food I am not allowed to eat. If I really want a cookie, I can have one, which has resulted in virtually no interest in eating one. How you use your sleeve is something that you will learn and if part of losing weight you reward yourself with a few skittles or laffy taffy, then good for you, enjoy them and then go back to eating healthy stuff. The point of the sleeve for most people is to have a normal life, where food does not dictate your every thought and action. Being normal means sometimes you get to have some cake, or in your case, starbursts, and it also means after you've had a few, you put the bag down and don't eat the rest. Go be normal....and if you get sick, think of it as your stomach conditioning you to not eat junk, lol.

I have been on this since since the summer of 2013 and I am almost at 3 years post-op. I will admit that I read the posts that go wildly south when someone gets their feelings hurt, I giggle behind my computer, and for the most part I try not to engage, although there has been a time or two where I have felt the need to defend myself or someone else and I'm sure I upset people. I don't really care. I am who I am and this is the internet- if you don't like what I have to say, get over yourself and don't read it. I don't remember the last time a post actually offended me...usually I think the drama is kind of funny and some days I just skip over all the fighting posts to get to the end so I can reply to the original comment with something I hope is a little helpful. Past that, I try to respond to the "I ate chocolate cake at 2 weeks post-op" with "it's not going to kill you, medically you're fine, but that isn't going to help you lose weight" as opposed to "OMG you broke the rules, you're going to die and go to bariatric surgery hell". I didn't follow all the rules. I use straws. Straws will not freaking hurt you and the people who debate it because their surgeon told them not to use straws and they have no understanding of how the body actually works make me roll my eyes. lf you want to do drugs, unless you are ingesting them shortly before or after surgery, no, smoking pot and shooting smack have nothing to do with your stomach- you might die for totally different reasons, but it's not the sleeve that's going to kill you. Posts where people place their own judgement on the use of drugs and alcohol instead of medically assessing the situation with a knowledge of physiology exhaust me. Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you- give them an honest answer to their question and if you really don't know the answer from a medical perspective free from bias, don't make crap up- that is not helpful. If you want to eat junk, go for it- it's your success, not mine, but in the majority of "I ate this bad thing" posts on here are not actually going to physically hurt you when you are a few weeks post-op. You won't lose weight and you'll feel like garbage, but 95% of the time (again, within a reasonable time after surgery), medically these people are not hurting themselves any more than a regular person who eats stuff they shouldn't. If they want bacon and cake at 6 weeks post-op, have fun...who am I to tell them how to live their life? I don't personally have a problem with the site, although I suppose it is probably because not much offends me. In the three years I have been on here, there have been two comments from veterans that I specifically remember made me feel the need to reply in my defense, and both times what could have been escalated into an actual internet fight, never did because two adults were engaged in a debate and they then moved on. I happen to really like both of these people and I think they bring a lot of value to the discussion- just because they don't always agree with me doesn't mean that they are wrong, that they should be censored, or that their opinion is not valuable. If people want to be trolls and say mean things, then ignore them, the way you do in real life, but if someone doesn't agree with you, it's not a personal attack, it's just their right to have a different opinion. Lively debate is fun when adults act like adults and participate appropriately, however when people start calling each other names and crying about their feelings being hurt, I feel like I'm in pre-school and someone stole their legos. Be a big girl or boy and go take your damn legos back. Don't be a victim, but don't be a jerk. I have zero interest in a world or a discussion area where everyone gets along...that degree of groupthink adds no value, I just think the problem exists when people get bent out of shape and respond emotionally instead of rationally. If you don't like what someone says, let them know or move on...why cry about it? I like BariatricPal, I like most of the people that I regularly engage with, and I don't much care if people don't like me. I am an anonymous person behind a computer...if you don't agree with me, cool, let's debate, but if it gets to a point where you are sincerely upset and can no longer engage in conversation like a mature adult....there is this magical "x" on your browser. Use it.

I was 29 when I had the sleeve, I started at 237, I hit goal of 129 at almost exactly 18 months, I then dropped to 126 for a few months, and I am now 34 months post-op and I have maintained for the last 16 months between 129-133. At my lowest I had lost 111 pounds, as of this morning I was 132, so right now I am down 105 pounds.