AvaFern

I am in a comparable position in a sense. I am not in love, but I have been dating someone for awhile. I was upfront about my plastic surgeries after the first couple of dates because I knew he would see the scars and I didn't want him to be like HOLY CRAP, did someone throw you through a wood chipper? during a naked moment, lol. I also had a very bad relationship a few years ago that tends to influence how I am in a relationship, so again after we had spent a lot of time together, I told him the history of that relationship as well. I have not told him I used to be hefferilla...partly because he constantly tells me how cute and tiny and small I am and I feel like if he knew I had been fat for awhile he might not like me and partly because when I was fat it was a very small part of my life, but a really dark point, and I don't want it messing up anymore of my life from this point forward. My three best friends know I had the sleeve surgery and as far as I am concerned, I will never tell another soul. I think that even if you do love someone, it is ok to have your own secrets if they have no impact on the relationship or the other person. I mean, if I used to be a hooker then maybe he should know that, but the fact that I only have 20% of a stomach is my business, has nothing to do with him or our relationship, and I feel no guilt about keeping it to myself. Everyone has secrets and keeping them out of a new relationship is entirely acceptable.

My bariatric surgeon was a total tool, so he and his staff got nothing, however my plastic surgeon is wonderful and I am a huge fan of him and his staff. I sent them a gift basket from Edible Arrangements. It had plenty of regular fruit for those being healthy but I also included some of the chocolate covered stuff for those who were not dieting. His entire office staff is women, so I figured either they'd love the chocolate or they'd love the healthy option of fruit, lol. Also, I like the other person's idea to post yelp reviews...that's good to do too.

It's ok to have a bad day and fall off the wagon- most of us do. Those who are successful are those who get back on the wagon the next day. As for your PCP, tell her that she can either switch you back to your old antidepressant or help you find a mutually acceptable cost efficient version of the drug you need, or you will move to a new doctor. Doctors like to be bullies...be the bigger bully and you generally get what you want. I worked in healthcare for quite a while...the patients that refuse to be pushed around are generally the patients that get what they want when their medical requests are valid, reasonable, and ultimately promote their health. If there is no medically valid reason to switch you to a new drug, put your foot down, or get a new doctor who understand that money doesn't grow on trees.

It took me a few weeks after surgery to not feel like I ruined my life, but I am fully on board with the idea that my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner. I am 21 months post-op so I'm past the honeymoon point, but I'm maintaining under my goal. I got "lucky" in that my sleeve pretty much hates almost all types of non-healthy food so I'm not overly invested in eating anything bad for me because I just puke it back up. I am very happy with my decision, especially now in the long term when I see the type of life I will optimally be leading the rest of my life.

Ugh! That sounds so awful- I'm sorry that happened to you. I feel like people don't really get that when they "compliment" you on your "massive weight loss" and how you have "lost half of yourself" and "omg, how did you lose so much weight" they are making the entire situation mortifying. It bugs me the most when they press you on how much weight you lost. I want to be like...111 pounds, thank-you for making me feel like a complete and total monster now. I sincerely don't think they realize that they are being rude and offensive in the moment and I try to tell myself that hopefully they go home and think...whoops, I shouldn't have said that, how obtuse of me...yet I think most of them just go home and think, hey, that lady lost a lot of weight, good for her. I try to remember that most people are not intentionally mean and do not try to embarrass me when they say things like that. Nonetheless, I wish people were a bit more cognizant of the things they say to others in public. Go kick the thai bag a few times at your gym and pretend it is that dude- maybe it will make you feel better.

I can understand your concerns. I lost weight naturally a lot of times and it just never worked out for the long term, so I too had to reconcile with the fact that I felt like I was cheating. I have read about a lot of people losing hair and I was one of them. My hair really thinned out at around 6-12 months or so and then it slowly started growing back. I am now 21 months out from surgery and my hair is slowly getting back to its old thickness. In terms of loose skin- that seems to be the way things work unfortunately. I ended up having 3 plastics procedures to fix all of my skin concerns, although to be fair they had been issues when I had lost weight in the past, so it wasn't a surprise to find I was saggy. I have a sleeve that likes to make me barf at least once a day, it hates anything that has been anywhere near butter, oils, fats, sugar, or milk, it made my hair fall out, and it cost me 40K+ in plastic surgeries. I would still choose to have the surgery every single day. Being thin is absolutely worth the tradeoffs of the surgery. Good luck!

My self-pay was 20K and I know that they jack up the price significantly for insurance patients. Your price is not actually that unrealistic at a decent American hospital with a good surgeon when it is partly covered by insurance. Then we wonder why our healthcare is so ungodly expensive. Good luck to you!

This thread is great! I have tried all of these diets! The cabbage Soup one was def not fun, although one time I ate nothing but carrots for weeks. I turned orange. Oh and those awful HCG shots. Injecting myself everyday with HCG was horrible. Super glad my sleeve worked because I'm not sure I could do another crazy diet like these.

This is going to sound harsh...do you want to be fat or do you want to party? You said that much as you have a great life, it is limited because of your weight. You avoid doing things because of your self-esteem and you feel like you are surrounded by all your beautiful friends and guys never look at you. You're going to need to give up booze for a few months after surgery, but after that if you want to you can still go out and drink. If anything you will be a way cheaper drinker because less alcohol gets you buzzed faster. I can appreciate in a sense how you feel because when I was 21 (and under 21) I had a great time partying, however back then I was normal sized. When I did finally decide to get the sleeve (when I was 29) I hadn't gone out in several years because I was so ashamed of what I looked like. Guys wouldn't give me the time of day, so no matter how much fun I had with my great girl friends, I felt like not only was I bringing them down because guys had to send in the grenade jumper (the dude that jumps on the ugly fat girl so his friends can hit on the hot girls) before they could come hit on my friends but I was embarrassing myself in the process. As a result, I just decided staying in and being alone was the better option. I am now slightly under goal and for the first time in a very long time dating someone. We go out places and instead of people looking at me like I should be at home on a treadmill, men hit on me all the time. People are nice to me. Women and men make comments about how tiny I am. I'm not a big drinker anymore, but when I do drink I really don't notice a huge difference between before sleeve and after sleeve now that I'm almost 2 years out. I can still go out, have a good time, and drink...I just don't eat a lot of the foods anymore and I don't spend the entire time wondering if people are laughing at me. Really though, I would give up booze and partying forever if it meant that I got to be the size I am now for the rest of my life. Being thin, healthy, and attractive is worth way more to me than being able to drink and eat my face off whenever I want to. So...getting the surgery will not kill your social life for more than a few months, but if your priority is not with being healthy and is instead with going out, partying, and keeping the bad habits that contributed to your weight problem in the first place, the sleeve isn't going to help you much past the first few months. I can easily eat and drink my way to WAY too many calories, but I'm more focused on being thin and healthy than I am in enjoying food and booze. It sounds like you, like me, want to be thin because you want to be hot. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, however in the long term the motivation to be thin has to be more than the motivation to go out and have fun every night. Being hot comes with sacrifice and if you don't think you're willing to make that sacrifice, wait until you're a bit older, a bit less interested in partying everynight, and a bit more oriented toward making the healthy choices you will need to make if you have a sleeve. I'd say I'd do a shot for you tonight and wish you luck on your decision....but I'll drink some carrot juice for you instead.

It's less about the portions than the overall amount consumed. Are you eating 800-1200 calories everyday now? If so, then this surgery might not help you, however if you're eating small portions but consuming 2000 calories a day, then the sleeve can be helpful. I was a very healthy eater who ate normal size portions, but I ate all day long so I consumed a lot of calories. I now eat baby size portions and I'm 111 pounds thinner. After the sleeve I went from eating fairly normally to not eating much at all and that was why it worked for me.

I was so totally blitzed on drugs that I mostly remember trying to not fall down between moving from my bed to the bed where they make you sit to the point where you stand up in front of the imaging device to drink the Fluid. It tastes awful, but you pretty much don't care or remember afterward. I wish I had been able to see the results of my test. I remember vaguely looking at the screen but I was so high it was just a blurry object in the distance. Short version...it's literally just drinking a cup of grossness, standing for a bit, then going back to your bed. Nothing crazy at all.

If you are 100% sure this was a hypoglycemic incident, completely ignore me. I have had this issue a few times, most recently 2-3 times while I was walking this spring. I found myself super light headed, dizzy, nauseous, and shaking. I made it home fortunately and I inhaled a bunch of granola and carbs, which fixed the situation but completely freaked me out. After that I made an appointment to have all of my blood tests done for nutrition and CBC values and everything came back normal including my glucose. Because I was a little paranoid, I also got both a BP cuff and a glucose monitor to use at home the next time the situation happened. When it did, my BP was a little low at around 100/70, but my glucose was right around 82-ish if I remember, which is normal. I started focusing on making sure I was well hydrated and I carried around granola with me while I was working out and it hasn't been an issue since. So, it may have been a drop in sugar or it may have just been a fluke like happened to me. I can understand the frustration about having to eat when your glucose drops, but what you ate doesn't really sound all that bad for you and it resolved your issue. Hopefully you have no more incidents!

I also used to struggle with the idea of wasting food, however now I'm basically single handedly starving people in Africa with the amount of food I waste. (That was what my parents always said- there are starving children in Africa, clean your plate.) It's actually become a sort of power for me to only eat a few bites of something and throw the rest away. My sleeve likes to puke anything it doesn't like or anything I eat too quickly or too much of, so I quickly learned portion control, even though at times I still end up running to the bathroom because my stomach spews anything that didn't fit or it didn't like right back out my mouth.

I am exactly the same as last week...126. Thank-you!

DO IT!!! Haha, I had a few plastic surgeries but the abdominoplasty is my favorite result. It is SO awesome to never worry if you have stomach pooch. I can wear tight clothing and my stomach is perfectly flat and it even looks like I have abs. It's been about 8 months since I had my stomach done and I still wake up everyday, check myself out in the mirror and think...mmm yes, that is a sexy stomach, lol.

I had the flu at 13 months post-op. It wasn't any different than when I was sick before surgery. If you feel yourself getting sick, get Tamiflu- it lessens the duration of the misery.

I think the problem exists in your own post..."trading your happiness for your marriage". If that ever becomes an issue, then the marriage already has a problem. You should never trade your happiness and your health for any other person, including your husband. If he can't get on board with you being happy and healthy, then show him to the door.

Are you on birth control? I've been on depo for most of my adult life and it completely eliminates a time of the month, so no cramps! Past that, my doctor didn't have any restrictions on what drugs I could take after surgery so for other types of pain Excedrin seems to work the best for me. Also, the old school heating pad on the stomach always helped me the few times where I had a random cycle and was in miserable pain.

I would agree with the others in that eating more does not result in weight loss, especially if you are taking a vacation from the scale. The times in life I have gained are the times I stopped weighing myself. If we're being honest, are you sick of dieting and sick of not seeing the number change so you want a little vacation from the entire process and convincing yourself eating more and not getting on the scale is the way to feel better, if not physically, then emotionally? I can understand that, but a spade is a spade. If you want to lose weight, my experience has been to keep at it every single day, otherwise it is very easy to slip back into old habits. It looks like you've already lost a lot of weight, so you're doing well. If you feel like you need more calories, it doesn't hurt to try that, but weigh yourself everyday so you can see if it's causing weight gain. This way in 2 weeks you'll either know you can eat more food and be fine or you'll know you can't, but you won't get on the scale and hate life because suddenly you gained 10 pounds that now you need to lose all over again.

As a suggestion for your stomach concerns, have you tried deodorant? I used to get an irritating heat rash under my breasts and I started using the Degree Clinical Strength roll on version (not the gel that clicks up) and it totally eliminated the problem. Even though thanks to plastic surgery my thighs don't touch anymore, I still put it on my upper inner thighs during the summer because it prevents sweatiness.

I don't order off the kids menu generally because the food is gross, lol, however if a place offered a decent kids meal, I would totally order it. If someone gave me a hard time about it I would not only blast them on Yelp, but on any other site that also mentioned their business. I don't feel I should have to provide a reason as to why I want a smaller menu option and the fact that someone was that rude about it is totally unacceptable, especially since you showed them your card (speaking of which, I've never heard of that, so also interesting). I try to go to places that let you order a la carte or do tapas so then I'm not stuck with a giant pile of food. Often though dinner becomes lunch/dinner/lunch for the next day or two.

I was a slow loser, especially near the end. It took me exactly 1 year and 7 months to hit goal, which was from 237 to 129, or 108 pounds. If I divided it out, this works out to 5.68 pounds a month. At a year out I was down from 237 to 153 which is 84 pounds and works out to 7 pounds a month. At 7 months, I was 67 pounds down, which works out to 9.5 pounds a month roughly. So...my loss did slow significantly over time. It took me from December 2014 to April 2015 to go from 134-129...the last 5 pounds were a beast. Since then I've dropped an extra 3 pounds and I seem to fluctuate between around 126-129.

I am 20 months out and I have a comparable lack of interest in food some days. Honestly, the best thing to do is embrace it. You said you were healthy and you're working out, so hopefully you're getting enough basic nutrients. Past that, these are the best times for losing weight because in a few months you'll start getting hungrier and you'll start eating more and your weight loss will slow significantly. I was self-pay so there was no real harping about Protein, so I only started paying attention to it at about a year and a half, so some days I just didn't eat much of anything at all. I am now maintaining below goal and like you there are days where food just looks exhausting. I'll eat a few bites and be done, largely because anything with oil, fat, sugar, or sometimes random food makes me barf. I track my food in MyFitnessPal and there are days where I eat maybe 600 calories and days where I eat 1600. For me it all tends to balance out, so on days where food just looks disgusting and makes me feel awful, I don't stress out about it because I know that in a few days I'll be fine. When I was at your stage I was extra happy for those days because it allowed me to lose weight more quickly, which annoyingly enough still worked out to almost exactly 6 pounds a month (the last 4 pounds took me 4 months to lose). Also, Vitamins make me super sick, so for awhile I only took the gummy vitamins and the last six months or so all I take is a B12 supplement and an Iron supplement. I actually just had all of my bloodwork done about 2 weeks ago and I came back almost exactly in the middle of every nutritional and CBC value, which I was curious about since I do eat so little and don't take a Multivitamin. Less long version of my post...you're fine, enjoy the desire to not eat while you still can, lose the easy weight now, and in a few months when you're hungry and food is good again, think...man I wish food was still gross, lol.

I told no one before surgery, but about a week later I told my three best friends. It has now been about 20 months since surgery and to this day only those three people know. People like to judge and I just didn't want to hear about how I didn't really lose weight and how I cheated if I ever made it to goal. I am now maintaining below goal and if I could go back I probably would have told no one, although my three besties have never made me regret telling them. There are SO many comments about how I lost weight...apparently I am either bulimic, anorexic, or a variety of other things, so I'm glad we don't have to add the fact that I had my stomach cut out on top of everything else. I'm a very private person and I see nothing wrong with those who share the procedure with others or those who choose to keep it totally to themselves.

My sleeve hates pretty much everything but it doesn't always mind quinoa. My experience is that initially, eat less than you think you can. Much as quinoa is supposed to be mostly expanded once its cooked, I swear it hits my stomach and it expands even more, so if I ate more than a few spoons I feel very full and sick. It is good for you though, so if your stomach tolerates it, enjoy!