AvaFern

I was super motivated while I was losing weight, then I had a year of plastics where I forced myself to powerwalk everyday since I couldn't run because I was terrified of gaining weight, then I gained a little a few months ago and ran everyday for a month, and then the last month I haven't done jack. I feel like my desire to exercise is directly related to the scale- if I gain weight, my butt goes running until I'm back to normal. If I am maintaining, oh give me the TV and my couch all day.

Hahahaha love this picture!

I wanted to be someone who could wear anything and not feel fat. I wanted to be able to put on makeup and not feel like it was lipstick on a pig, to be able to wear tall heels and not feel like it made me look even more enormous, and to be able to wear pretty clothing and not have people think that I should be spending my money on a gym membership and not clothing that ultimately just made fat look slightly more colorful. I recently traveled and when I got there I realized I had over a dozen dresses with me, just as many heels, and only two pair of jeans. The other day I ordered a dress that would have made me look like I was pregnant when I was fat, however because now I am small, even though it poofs a little bit, no one would ever think I was fat even if the dress isn't super flattering. I wear tight clothes and I never worry about my stomach pooch (to be fair that is because I had extensive plastic surgery and had all the extra pooch part cut off). I like a few of my dresses because you can see that I have those hip angle ab things through the material. I wanted to be a person who could dress well and have people think she looked fabulous....not fabulous for being fat, not someone with "such a pretty face", but fabulous with no qualifications. I wouldn't say I'm fabulous now, but I feel like physically I am someone who has no need to any longer be ashamed of myself and in fact, there are certain times when my hair cooperates and my makeup works out right that I get dressed and I think, damn, I look almost hot! That is the type of clothes person I wanted to be.

From a professional perspective, that psychologist is clearly in a situation where she has a conflict of interest. You are either a psychiatrist (therapist, psychologist, counselor, whatever the degree) or you are a consultant for a surgeon who also happens to have some kind of psych degree. It sounds like the person you met with was the latter, which is a misrepresentation. Unless she is a psychiatrist, she is not an M.D. and therefore has no qualifications for directing you toward a surgical intervention. If she represents herself as first a therapist and not as a consultant for the surgeon, she is almost at a point of an ethical violation when she didn't bother to get to know you at all before she pushed the surgery option. That is absolute garbage and I would have called her out on it. If she is a consultant who is clearly representing the surgeon, then eh, she sort of did her job even if I find her actions for her actual profession to be questionable. That said, she isn't entirely wrong in the sense that a lot of studies show a continued pattern of weight loss and gain in non-bariatric surgery patients. To be fair though, there are also plenty of studies that show a person who has had surgery can eventually gain all that weight back as well. There is one popular study that says that people are more likely to keep weight off when they've had bariatric surgery if they've also had plastic surgery. If you look hard enough there is a study that supports almost everything in some way. I personally did the weight loss and gain thing for years. I'd regularly lose 60-90 pounds, keep it off for a year or two, then gain it right back. I am very happy that I had the sleeve procedure done, although I am only 29 months post-op, so who knows if I will maintain over the next decade or even the next few years. I have had a far easier time maintaining at my goal weight now than I ever did in the past and I give my sleeve and it's penchant for making me puke if I eat the wrong thing the credit for that. Bariatric surgery is a very good option for many people and most of us are happy we had it done. It is however a personal decision and one that a person who claims to be practicing in the area of psychological counseling has absolutely no business making for you or pushing you toward. Her job was to guide you toward making whatever decision was right for you AND IF that was surgery, to determine if you are psychologically a candidate for the procedure, not to act like the doctor she most likely is not and tell you that only one type of action is going to help you lose weight. Professionally and ethically her actions are questionable, however that being said, if you take what she said and have it come from your surgeon or a friend who has had the surgery and who is well-researched on the topic, the points she made would not be entirely off base.

I traveled last week and at one point the scale was up 3 pounds from my usual weight, despite the fact that I actually ate less than I usually do at home. I've been back a few days and my weight has dropped right back down to where it was before. Like you, I also drank a lot less during my vacation week and once I was back home I was back to drinking a whole lot more, so I'm sure that probably had something to do with it as well. You should be back to your normal weight quickly enough.

If it makes you feel better, quinoa is technically not a grain, lol. It's actually more related to spinach than carbs, although it does tend to rake in some calories if you aren't careful with how much you are eating. I don't think you're eating too many carbs, however I was self-pay, so no one ever really gave me a meal plan. I ate what I wanted to in very small portions and I hit goal at about 18 months post-op. I've maintained now for 8 months and I still do the same thing I did before. The only thing I make a point to not eat is Desserts because that is the one thing that will make me gain almost instantly- everything else is fair game. When I was losing weight I would have either half a bowl of instant oatmeal with Water or half a serving of granola for breakfast. lunch was usually a cup of chili from Panera, and sometimes I'd eat 1/4 of one of those Paninis that are horrible for you. I don't do that anymore because that also makes me gain, but I had no issue doing it occasionally when I was losing. I also ate a lot of granola bars. I never did Protein shakes regularly and I didn't focus a lot on protein. I pretty much just ate reasonably healthily in very small servings. I am sure I could have hit goal a lot faster if I did what in hindsight I was supposed to have done, but now I'm not stuck on a low carb diet the rest of my life. For example, yesterday I didn't have time to leave my desk, so I had 2 granola bars, 3 snack bags of goldfish, a Hillshire Small plate (like an adult lunchable) and 1/3 a serving of steamed Beans and rice. I lost a pound this morning. Basically if you are losing weight, do what works for you. If you are stuck in a stall, look at your diet and see where you can make changes. Nothing works the same for everyone.

I don't think I really got enough Fluid until well after the first few months. It took me a while to learn to sip and not chug and the only way I could get any fluid in without feeling like I was swallowing rocks was with a straw. I used a straw for almost two years after surgery and I actually just noticed right now that the last few weeks I have been drinking directly out of a Water bottle again instead of using a straw. The only reason they tell you not to use a straw is because for some people it makes them feel a little gassy- for me, it eliminated the extra air I was swallowing when I drank without a straw so I could get a lot more fluid down without feeling like I had chugged a bottle of chunks.

Bariatric surgery is covered under FMLA. I'm surprised they demanded to know the type of surgery, but they are required by HIPAA to keep the information confidential. If anyone else at work finds out, you could likely sue them and then have quite a lot of paid leave, lol.

Are they joking? Granted, it's rude, but I can see people saying, "oh your husband is going to have to put a lock on you" and meaning "you're going to be so hot everyone is going to want you". I would hope it was an awkward kind of compliment and not a remotely sincere idea that you would be cheating on your husband. Kind of like how everyone says, "wow you have such a pretty face" when you're fat as a way of giving a compliment when in reality they mean "damn, it's good you are pretty because the rest of your isn't looking so great", or "omg, I can see right through you, do you ever eat" when they really just mean to say "you lost weight, you look great". People deliver compliments all the time that make you want to smack them, but 90% of the time they aren't intentionally being hurtful.

So by RMR, you mean resting metabolic rate and VO2- the peak oxygen amount you're using at your highest exertion level? I had my RMR done a few years ago and it was 1800, so basically if I just sat around all day and did nothing according to that test my body would burn 1800 calories all on its own. Of course since we walk around and exercise, this is then factored into the RMR, so if we burn an extra 1000 calories a day, bringing me to 2800, then in theory I can maintain my weight by eating 2800 calories a day. Wouldn't that be awesome if that were actually true? I have seen women with RMR's of 1000, and with up to 2200 (lucky b*tches), however I know that if I eat anywhere close to 1800 consistently, forget 2800 I will gain weight, so the RMR value for me meant very little. Basically if you want to lose weight, you consume less than you burn, so if your RMR is 1200 and you burn 500 extra calories a day, you want to eat less than 1700 calories a day to lose weight. That is the math, but again, I haven't found it to really be very helpful in actual practice. In terms of VO2, my understanding is that your goal is to just continue to improve upon it. The more you exercise, if you focus on intensity (such as in Crossfit, or other interval based exercises) you should continue to improve your VO2 to optimal levels. I don't do a lot of interval work, because I prefer nice long, medium-paced runs, so my VO2 is less than someone who consistently engages in hard, fast exercise.

It's a simple procedure the doctor will do in the office. She will inject some lidocaine into the area, snip off the end, re-suture, and you're good to go. Virtually no pain and very fast.

I just order the regular meal and pull out what I want. Ultimately the price doesn't end up being much different and then I don't have to deal with explaining myself repeatedly. At Chik Fil A, sometimes I just really want the piece of chicken in the sandwich, so I just order the sandwich and toss the bread, while other times I just eat half the sandwich. At Panera I get the cup of chili and a salad, but sometimes I'll get something unhealthy and only eat a little bit of it. I think those are really the only two places I go with a drive-thru except Starbucks. I do the same thing when I'm out to dinner- I make sure they leave off the cheese, dressing, and certain other toppings that will destroy the entire meal, but for the most part I will just eat around everything else because it's easier than confusing the kitchen and the price is the same.

For the first year after surgery I ran about 3 miles a day and I did boxing and MMA 2-4 times a week. After that I had a year of plastics procedures so when I was cleared to run, I did, but most days I just power walked 3-5 miles. I am now 28 months out from surgery and there are weeks I run everyday and weeks I do nothing. I weigh myself everyday and if I see my weight start to creep up, I work out more. I think I ran 2-3 times in all of December because I was busy, maintaining my weight, and it was cold, so I was even more lazy.

Is it possible if he was asking you if you could physically eat that stuff? Not if you should eat it because it's obviously bad for your diet, but if because of your sleeve you were medically prevented from eating certain foods. If he's a brilliant doctor he obviously knows what you should or shouldn't be eating to maintain a healthy diet, however because bariatrics is not his specialty he may have been asking to see if your stomach was medically compromised to a point that you actually cannot eat those foods. Technically you CAN eat all of them, you just shouldn't be.

I'm not sure if my opinion is relevant since I had the front half done along with my boobs and the back half done along with my thighs and an autoaugment of my butt in two different surgeries, but it's going to be a few weeks- at least 3 and only then if you're being very gentle. You literally had your top layers of skin pulled off, cut off, stretched, and re-sutured, so while cowgirl should work fine since you're controlling the bouncing and nothing is on top of you, missionary is out because you're basically pulling on your sutures and scraping your back back and forth on the bed for however long you're enjoying time with your partner. You could potentially try doggy-type positions if you're wearing your binder, however you don't want to have your stomach skin pulling away from your ab muscles because then you end up with a seroma. Basically any position where you are sliding around on the bed is not the best plan because it creates friction between your skin and your muscles in the area where your body is trying to build new connections- you're basically just repeatedly ripping apart the new adhesion. If you're creative, you can get back at it whenever you feel like you aren't in pain, just be cognizant of the fact that while you probably aren't feeling pain, any twisting or sliding of the skin in your trunk region is going to delay healing and potentially result in a seroma. Perhaps this is a good time for you both to work on your oral sex game, lol.

Your ex violated the law...now you sue him. In many civil cases where there is a financial reward, the upfront cost for an attorney is small and they take a cut of the profits. Unless the insurance change was with his employer and he had no control over it, or unless you are now covered under a policy that has the same standard of coverage as the other one (this does not mean it covers bariatric surgery- the key components (deductible, co-pay, etc) have to be the same or better), what he did is illegal and you now go kick his a*s in court. Not only will he then be paying for your surgery out of pocket, but you can also sue him for emotional distress as well. Controlling men find that they are far less tough when a judge takes their paycheck and hands it to the woman that they tried to hurt.

I drink before I eat, while I eat, and after I eat...the trick for me is to sip instead of gulp. I noticed that if I take a few big swallows of Water, even when I'm not eating, it often comes right back up or causes significant pain in my throat. I am also 28 months post-op, so my stomach has a healed a bit more than yours.

You look fabulous- congrats!

I don't tell people I date. I didn't tell my last boyfriend and we were together for months. The nice thing about the sleeve is that the only person who needs to know you have it is you. I have zero intention of ever telling a romantic partner about my sleeve until we are at a very, very serious stage, if even then. It is my secret and whether or not I ever choose to share is entirely up to me. My three best friends are the only people who know and as far as I'm concerned, the only people who will ever know. Also, if anyone comments about how much food you aren't eating, just say that you had a big lunch. Apparently people think I'm anorexic and/or bulimic since I can't eat much and periodically something will send me running, puking to the bathroom. Let them think what they want, I could give a crap less.

Lol, it's ok to let loose occasionally! It sounds like you had fun (excluding the hangover part, haha). Now you can start the new year with zero interest in getting toasted! I also don't know how people can drink regularly. I had a few good nights last summer and there is no way I could handle the level of sick I feel afterwards on a regular basis, blech.

So I feel like I am the jerk right now, but have you hit goal? Your BMI is listed as being at 26.2, which is not unhealthy or even low weight. You said that you were eating less than 1000 calories, which as long as you're not consistently eating like 500-600, if you're in the losing phase this isn't going to hurt you. In Blue Zones, areas of the world where people regularly live to be over 100, they often eat a much more calorie restricted diet than we do. Research shows that lower calories than the FDA suggests is not unhealthy as long as your diet is balanced. If your blood tests show that your Vitamin levels are normal, which you said they do, then your nutrition is likely fine. Every single one of us is worried about regaining weight. It is the people who stop caring that get fat again. While I would agree that it would be helpful to talk to someone about your concerns, nutritionally you aren't underweight, your calories if they are just a bit less than 1000 aren't going to hurt you at this point, and your blood values are good. So on the bright side, you are healthy. Why not keep that desperate feeling and use it to push you toward your goals and toward maintenance? There is this book called The Four Hour Body and one thing I remember reading in it is that people who are unsuccessful at losing weight just haven't been hurt badly enough to be sufficiently motivated. Again, this isn't a nice thing to say, but it's true. The fear of gaining weight, of getting fat again can all be used in a positive way to get you to the size you want to be and to keep you there. Everyday I wake up and I weigh myself on three scales (long story behind why). I write each scale number down. I put everything I eat into MyFitness Pal. I don't ever eat sweets. I walk into my giant closet with my clothes that are a size 0,2,4, and while there is a lot of joy there, there is also that little catch in the back of my throat, that quick second of terror about what will happen if I get fat again. I use it to my advantage. When I see cake, I think of that fear and I don't eat it. When I see other junk food I think about that terror I feel when I get on the scale in the morning after a bad day of eating and I don't eat it. I eat a very normal diet, usually about 1200-1400 calories a day which has kept me in maintenance, but I stay in maintenance not because I am always happy and life is grand but because I know the misery of being fat and I am terrified of going back to that place. Life doesn't always have to be sunshine and daisies- thunderstorms have their purpose too...if you can't get over your current feelings, then use them to get you what you want. Also, quick suggestion...when you get up and feel dizzy it's possibly orthostatic hypotension. It's a drop in blood pressure when you stand up or sit up from a laying position. Ask your doctor to test you for it. Literally they take your BP while you are laying down and then again as soon as you stand up. If it has dropped, then they can fix that problem, which potentially doesn't have to be related to your diet. Also, you are not going to stretch your stomach. 80% of it is gone. Think of it like a balloon that you cut 80% out of. Sure, it might stretch a little bit, but it is never, ever going back to anywhere close to its old size, so if you're a rational person everytime you start to worry about that think..."ok, well it is not possible to go back to anything close to the old size, so worrying about this is irrational and a waste of my time". That thought process has always worked for me. If I can isolate the flaw in my thinking, I can talk myself past it. Perhaps give that a try.

Since you're a guy, not sure if you only want dudes to answer, but as a woman, this was my routine. During the year after sleeve surgery, prior to plastics, my routine was a 3 mile run every single day either around 10am or 2pm. Monday through Wednesday I also went to the gym and I did 2-3 hours of boxing, bjj, and MMA. I never really got into lifting weights- I don't enjoy it and I found that lifting while losing just keeps me from getting thin. Totally against everything everyone says, I know, but I was only able to hit goal when I lost some muscle. I am fine being smaller with less muscle, so I focused on cardio because I knew it would get me to the lower weight I wanted. After plastics I was limited in what I could do for roughly a year or so (I had 3 surgeries- 1 every 3-4 months). I made a point to powerwalk everyday and then when I was healed enough between procedures I ran and continued going to boxing class. I hit goal in April after which point I was still stuck recovering from plastics until about June. I powerwalked most days just to maintain. I started gaining a little in October (25 months out from sleeve surgery) so I got back to running 3 miles every single day. I was back to my goal weight range by November and then I chilled a little on the working out. Now at 28 months out from surgery I've been lazy and haven't run in probably 3 weeks. I just watch what I eat and I maintain within 1-2 pounds of my goal weight. If I start to gain, my butt starts to go for runs, and then I get back to normal. So, my suggestion would be to exercise as much as you can tolerate until you get to goal- after that, do what makes you happy. I run now more because it makes me less cranky than because it does anything for my weight.

Corsets have this fantastic ability to make your stomach constriction even tighter. In terms of purely healing, six weeks should be fine. You are likely going to have a very difficult time eating much of anything at all while you are wearing your corsets. I discovered this after plastics procedures when the compression garment not only compressed my skin, but also squashed my stomach to the point that I had a very hard time eating for a few weeks. I also notice that oddly a few pair of tights that I have where the band is high-waisted also compress at exactly the place where my stomach is and it is virtually impossible to eat without barfing when I'm wearing those stockings. So...6 weeks you'll be fine to wear them, just be prepared for extra constriction.

I had my sleeve surgery in September of 2013. December of 2013 I had a great time eating junk food at the holidays. Cake, chocolate, ice cream- you name it. January I was right back on the wagon. Then in December 2014, I was about 8 pounds from goal and I did the same thing. I had Cookies, chocolate, candy, whatever I wanted for 2 weeks. It was great and I actually didn't gain any weight. January 2015 I went back to eating normally with the personal agreement with myself that in December I could eat whatever I wanted. Because I knew I could be a pig in December, I had no really crazy urge to eat badly the rest of the year. I hit goal in April 2015 and I except for an 8 pound jump at the end of the summer, I am now right back to floating within 2 pounds of my goal weight. Also, guess what...I have no interest in eating junk. I haven't had a single bite of sweet or dessert this entire holiday season. Being thin, fitting into size 0's, and wearing xs clothes is far better to me than enjoying sugar and Desserts. I gave up the one time of year I gave myself license to eat whatever I want and I am not remotely bummed about it. In the end, being thin really does feel better than anything tastes. It's ok to have a fall off the wagon day or week as long as you get right back on it.

I was cash-pay. I had my surgery done in Florida and it was $19K. I paid an extra $1100 for complications insurance, which my doctor was a complete jerk about actually letting me use. My only complication was that I was insanely sick and another day in the hospital would have been helpful. He gave me a huge attitude because I get the idea that he is penalized if I actually used the insurance, so I just went home. Your regular insurance won't cover complications so make sure you add the extra coverage. Past that I went to the group meeting that discussed the procedure, I had my first appt the next week with the surgeon, I had to sit through a half hour session with a nutritionist who basically taught me nothing, then that same day I had my second appt. I then paid for my surgery and 1 week later I was in the OR. From the time I decided to go to the orientation session to the time I had the surgery was a little over two weeks. I was in the hospital for three days. I then had a follow-up with the surgeon 3 weeks later and that was the last time I was ever in that office. After 3 months generally the price to see the surgeon is astronomical because your insurance doesn't cover follow-up. If you choose a good surgeon near where you live you will be unlikely to have any complications. I have heard there are plenty of great surgeons in Mexico for 1/4 of the price. Overall by not using insurance you go through the entire process much faster, but if you end up with major complications and you don't have that extra coverage you purchase for the surgery, everything else is out of pocket.