AvaFern

I also have days where I eat more or less. Sometimes I think, holy cow, I ate so much food today....but then a lot of days, I'm both not really hungry and most of what I eat makes me full really quickly or sick, so the good restriction days usually balance out the bad restriction days.

I actually made this the other night. The trick to ending up with something that resembles a crust and not a smushy stinky mess is to not steam the cauliflower first. Basically you either buy the bag where it is already in fine crumbles or pulse it through the food processor until you get the crumbles. You then squish all of the excess Water out of it using a cheese cloth, or a good papertowel (so you don't get paper towel flecks caught in it). After that you mix the uncooked cauliflower pieces with 1-2 eggs depending on how much cauliflower you have and a sprinkling of shredded cheese. I read that goat cheese actually works well too. Then you smash it all together, spread it out on parchment paper on a cookie sheet, and densely pack it into something that resembles a crust. You bake it at 400 for 45 minutes, pull it out, flip it over, and bake it for another 10 minutes. Then if you're making pizza you can put on the sauce, chicken, and cheese. I kinda like it better just as eating it like crust without the pizza sauce addition because I felt extra full when I ate it with all of the pizza toppings. My house spelled pretty good afterward, and I liked the finished product, but it wasn't something I could save for the next day. Cold real pizza and cold cauliflower pizza are totally different things, lol.

In theory, there isn't really a "normal" in terms of sex- everyone likes different things and as long as everyone is happy and no one is hurt in the process, I try to consider their preferences to be normal. But, no, being married and dating multiple people is not the statistical majority of marriages, so if you want to define "normal" by "most commonly accepted behavior" the no, your husband's desire is not normal so to speak. Also, he is telling you about his little date to make you jealous and get a rise out of you- the chances of him getting laid are fairly slim and frankly a woman who puts out for free dinner is not someone you need to be jealous of. Return the favor...don't ask him about his love life, but feel free to volunteer all kinds of fun images of your own. They don't have to be true, all is fair and love and war and there is nothing wrong with a little bit of payback. I imagine that once he thinks you are having a good time all on your own, suddenly his little dinner ho-ho's won't be quite so interesting. In terms of compatibility, I recently dated a great guy who I liked a lot and we were just not very good in bed. I don't know why- it probably had something to do with neither of us having a ton of experience, however that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with either of us purely because in one area we might not be as aligned as we had hoped for. Sometimes you can work through this, sometimes you can't, but in the end, tolerating communication with your ex husband who wants to make you jealous because he's making some chick dinner is not how a self-respecting woman goes about her day. If he insists on talking- your life is fabulous, you have dates galore, and you hope he has a fantastic time with whatever random lady friend he happens to pick up for the night. Then you don't talk to him. Silence will do far more for this kind of situation than bs trying to be "friends" or keeping him around at all. Walk away. You will certainly find better and he will certainly come crawling after you like a sad little puppy when he realizes he no longer has any control over how you feel about yourself, your former marriage, or your fabulous future.

That's awesome!! I remember my first (and only) half marathon and it was such absolute hell because I had not actually trained for it so by the time I was done little old ladies were beating me and I briefly considered jumping off the bridge that was the last mile and swimming to the finish because it might have hurt less. On race day you will be energized by the crowds and all of the people cheering for you and this helps make it go by faster than training runs. Congrats on your long run! I would die if I had to run 10 miles right now, lol.

It takes time to adjust to what you look like. I was not confident in certain clothes until after plastics and even then it took awhile to see what other people see- that I'm a pretty normal looking girl. I still don't wear short skirts without stockings and I tend to wear long sleeves because of my brachioplasty scars, but ultimately you do find things that look great on you and in which you feel comfortable, and more importantly, beautiful.

At just over a month post-op, your feelings are pretty normal. If it makes you feel better, I never took Vitamins because they made me sick and I just had my 2.5 year bloodwork done and I am completely healthy. If you take anything, go with B-12, but from personal experience, missing your vitamins initially is not that big of a deal. If you spend the rest of your life never taking B-12, Calcium (as a woman this is important) and maybe an Iron supplement, then that's not good, but a few weeks won't hurt you. Also, I never hit my liquid goal or my Protein goals, probably because I was self-pay so no one told me I had goals, lol. Water and liquids hurt my throat, however I accidentally drank something with a straw at 2 week post-op and it sailed straight down, I didn't feel sick, and from that point forward I used a straw to drink everything for almost 2 years. It is the one way I got enough Fluid, without feeling like I was swallowing rocks. They tell you not to use a straw because for some people it might cause gas, but for a lot of people a straw is the difference between drinking a lot and barely drinking. Also, I understand how it feels to be sick of the whole process. I am 2.5 years out and yesterday I literally puked everything I ate, even the foods that rarely make me sick. I got a very picky sleeve, which I really don't mind because it keeps me from eating pretty much anything bad for me. Some days though when every thing I eat comes hurling right back up there are a few seconds where I think, omg, really, the rest of my life? Then I look at my size 0 butt and I think...yeah, worth it. I was also a fairly slow loser. It took me 18 months to hit goal, which was 108 pounds from 237 to 129. The thing you have to remember is that time passes no matter what you do, so if you spend this time working hard, no matter what next year is coming either way. You can be thin or you can be fat, but really it's up to you. At 1 year post-op I was still about 30 pounds from goal and it took me 3 months to lose the last 4 pounds. It's a frustrating process. I have been at goal for 2 weeks short of a year now and all of the misery was worth it. So, shorter version, not taking your vitamins won't hurt you in the short term, try drinking with a straw, and enjoy the feeling of not liking food- for most people it doesn't last forever.

I don't drink on dates, largely because I like to make sure I actually like someone and booze tends to cloud the judgement. I also really don't like drinking that much AND I am super careful about not drinking and driving. There have been times where I have ordered a drink, taken a few sips every once in a while, and that was it, however now, I just order a diet coke and an appetizer that I don't eat (if you're only doing drinks and not dinner) and if he doesn't like it, too damn bad. If someone doesn't like that I don't drink, it never would have worked anyway. Also, it has nothing to do with my stomach, so that is something I would never even consider bringing up. As a note, I was on the opposite side of this once. Way back when I was like 22-ish there was a hot guy in my class and I said, hey you want to grab a drink after class? His response..."I don't drink." My response...um ok. Lol, we actually ended up dating, but asking someone out for a drink is just a casual way of asking them to do something and them not actually wanting to drink anything alcoholic doesn't matter much. I would have been fine getting coffee, I just figured I had a hard enough time asking him to go out...want to grab a drink was fewer words than want to get some coffee, lol.

@@BSanchez2016 Lol, notice I didn't call you any rude names and yet you had to resort to referring to us as b*tches who need to stfu. Adorable.

@@BSanchez2016 Dude, you need to chill. I don't know who the woman is who initially replied to you, however even though you are posted in a male room, your post still appears on the side thread and in some browsers the person can't actually see that this is a male only post. I read her reply and it was totally not intended to be taken as being offensive and you flipped out, because apparently and understandably this is a sensitive issue for you. As you can see there are other women who also posted, not because we want to give you advice on your male-anatomy, but because this isn't a forum that is blocked from women and the only reason half the time we see it as being "male only" is because we're using a particular browser that has "male only" indicator on the tab or we see the content of your post and think, oh whoops, not for me. You currently have 4 posts on this site, 2 of which were just unacceptably a**h*le responses to someone who was not intending to upset you and likely did not intentionally post in the wrong forum. If your real life personality is at all comparable to the online personality you have demonstrated, your penis size is something that only you will ever have to be concerned about. If you are just starting out this site is hugely helpful and you can find a lot of support here, however the people who provide the most support have little tolerance for drama queens who slew insults at others for posting innocuous well-meaning comments in a forum they may not have realized was only for men, and which there was never any intention to send you so completely flying through the ceiling. No one here is intentionally mean, so get over yourself and try a more appropriate approach if you would like to continue to be considered relevant on this site.

You are physically capable of taking care of yourself as soon as you are home from surgery. I had both of these procedures separately combined with other surgeries and for two of them I had someone drop me off at home after the surgery and I was just fine. Like the others said, avoid lifting stuff- you use your pectoral muscles for more than you think you do. Put everything you might need on your countertops so you don't have to be reaching over your head to get things. Both of these surgeries have minimal downtime, as long as you aren't doing any major activity. If you're just shuffling around your house or at a desk job, after the first few days when you're on pain drugs, the rest of the time you just feel cranky and sore. As a fun note, when I had my brachioplasty I read a trick about keeping your arms compressed. The compression arm top didn't work well, however if you keep your arms wrapped in ace bandages, you can take a little girl's pair of tights, cut off the feet, cut down the middle of the tights to separate each leg, and then slide this over the bandages up to your shoulders. This not only keeps the compression tight, but it minimizes that velcro scratchy thing on ace bandages from annoying you and from the bandages themselves from chafing against your sides everytime you move. Also, it keeps the bandages from sliding down your arms, which was also annoying. And, instead of using the surgical bra, which is itchy and uncomfortable, go to Wal-mart and get the blue snap-up the front ones. They are $8 for two pair and they were exponentially more comfortable than the stupid surgical ones I bought. I still wear them now at home because they are really comfy.

Woohoo! Congrats! The time will pass quickly and I'm sure you will love your results. I had my last surgery this week last year, and it doesn't feel at all like it has already been a year.

Are you drinking dairy with the coffee? My stomach can't handle regular milk or some almond and soy brands, so while I thought I was originally getting sick from my coffee, turns out it was the milk in it that caused the problem. As soon as I switched to skim, I had no more coffee issues. Also, it took awhile before my stomach tolerated any kind of sugar, which contributed to an initial feeling that I couldn't do coffee because I get a drink that has fat free caramel syrup (fake sugar but my stomach doesn't like it).

So, this month I will be at 2.5 years post-op. I had a regular appointment with my PCP and since I've felt fatigued lately I thought my Iron or B12 values may be low, so we ran a full CBC, B12, Nutrition Panel and Thyroid panel. Except for my TSH being a little higher than it was last time, but still well within the normal range, every single other value is almost exactly at the middle of the normal range. I am happy about this because, well, I've been quantitatively proven to be healthy, but also because I don't follow the diet plan of the sleeve at all, so I am happy that my body seems to compensate well for not always getting what it is in theory supposed to be getting. I go months of forgetting to take my B12 and iron, I never get the Protein I'm supposed to have everyday, and I eat a lot of crackers, minimal vegetables, no fruit, and pretty much only chicken from Chik Fil A in the form of grilled nuggets. So, thankfully, my values last year were also pretty much the same as this year, so I have had consistently good indicators that at least this far out from surgery for someone who doesn't really adhere to the nutritional suggestions, my 20% of a stomach has not contributed to harming my health. If anything, given that I started at 237, I hit goal of 129 last April, and in 15 days I will have maintained at goal, the sleeve has substantially improved upon my health, especially when my blood work values are also considered.

I got most of my major drinking out of my system by the time I was 21, lol, so I was never much of a legal drinker. In terms of medical necessity, I would avoid the booze for at least six weeks purely because if you get sick, you're going to be barfing, and while given how much I puked immediately after surgery and caused no damage, it just seems like a bad idea to encourage feeling at all crappy. Also, because of the sleeve you will get drunker, faster, and it seems preferable to figure out exactly how that will work when you're still not recovering from major surgery. So...medically, at least six weeks, after which point your stomach should be healed enough that you aren't going to physically hurt it with booze. Theoretically, nothing would probably happen right now, but eh, it won't kill you to wait a little longer. Next, booze is bad for your diet. Do you actually want to lose weight? If so, then skipping all of the extra calories of booze is certainly a good way to get started. Like I said, I'm not a big drinker, but part of the reason I stopped drinking when I was younger is because it makes you fat. So..in terms of your diet, if you choose to drink you are using up valuable calories and a year down the road when you aren't at goal yet, think back, add up all those calories, and see how much you would have lost. The first year is the honeymoon, the time that you have the most chance of success. If you screw around during that time, your chance of ever hitting goal is slim to none. This is not a scientific answer, it's just based on watching a few years of people on this board. I worked my butt off the first year and I hit goal at 18 months. It has now been 11 months and I really don't try as hard but I have maintained. I am 100% sure that if I had to lose weight now I would not be able to because the power of the sleeve decreases the further from surgery you are. So...if you want to drink soon, go for it, but you're drinking calories that are going to limit you in your long term success. Past that, there is nothing wrong with having a few drinks with friends sometimes. You are not cursed to drink Water and diet coke at the bar forever. Shots really don't have a ton of calories and you get drunk fairly quickly when you're smaller and have less of a stomach, so in terms of calories and your wallet, getting drunk is cheap and easy. While I rarely drink, this summer I drank more than I usually do, as in a few good nights of a few too many shots of tequila. It was fun, I felt like crap, and now I'm back to rarely drinking. I get you...drinking and socializing is a good time, but for me, I would far rather be skinny and healthy with a little less of a fun time than still be fat and having a party a few times a week. The choice ultimately is yours and how you use the time you have where your sleeve is most effective is up to you.

This is not at all abnormal and not something related to your weight. I have a friend that I used to take boxing classes with, who after having had a child, could not do jumping jacks without incontinence. She's in great shape, weighs around 135 pounds and would have had the same problem that you did. I would test out what kinds of impact you can handle at home and then just let your trainer know what you will and will not be doing. My friend only had the issue doing jumping jacks or jumping rope..she was fine running and doing most other impact exercises, just not jumping that jostled the bladder. You can always wear incontinence underwear or you can just not do some things that might cause the problem. I don't do exercises that involve spinning because it makes me sick...might people call me a wimp? Sure. Do I care? Nope. We are adults and if we don't want to do a certain kind of anything, then we don't do it.

I told no one that I had surgery until a week after surgery, at which point I told my three best friends. I am now at 2.5 years post-op and those three people are the only people who know. You will absolutely have people who tell you that you are taking the easy way out, who make comments about what you're eating, and who, God forbid, if you lose weight and gain a bit back, will tell you how they were right all along that you took the easy way out and look, you failed. There is nothing wrong with perpetuating the fairy tale- it is your life and who you tell or don't tell is your business. I have never once regretted not telling people and I am 100% certain that the snide comments about how I had bariatric surgery would have bothered me and continued to be something people bring up, well past the point I am now which is at 11 months of maintenance at goal. People are jerks and they will 100% say stupid things and hurt your feelings if you make your decision public. If you're fine with that, then good for you, but if you're not, there is no reason in the world that you owe anyone an explanation other than diet and exercise, because ultimately if you don't diet and exercise the sleeve won't work anyway, so it's hardly as if you're lying.

Haha I weigh first thing in the morning after going to the bathroom and while totally naked. I even make sure I take off my socks because that is a solid ounce or two on the scale, lol.

If it makes you feel better it took me 5 months to lose the last 2 pounds to get to goal and before that I lost maybe 1-2 pounds a month for several months. While my goal was 129 and yours is 140, if your profile is right you are wayyy taller than I am, so the distribution is probably comparable. The last few pounds are an absolute B and while I have maintained now for just short of a year, I literally cannot get under 129 to save my life, lol. At certain points our body decides that it likes the weight it is at and it seems to really get down the last bit requires a lot of discipline. I am lazy, so I am going to be just fine at 129 and not 119 which was my stretch goal.

@@jane13 Yep, Dr. Desai's office is at St. Vincent's, but he does surgery at an out-patient facility. Below is the link to his site: https://www.plasticsurgeryjacksonville.com/

While most of my NSV's were at about 1-1.5 years post-op, this week I realized that I think I can add another one to the list. After having finished plastics I developed a love of shopping- clothing, shoes, purses, belts, scarves- I love my closet. While I have always really liked shoes and purses, when I was fat I was allowed a nice designer bag to carry daily, but not expensive bags for special outfits because why bother accessorizing if in the end it's just all lipstick on a pig? So...since having had all of my extra skin and fat cut off, suddenly I can wear clothing that is very formfitting in small sizes, and I can feel fabulous. I can wear skinny belts and wide belts and high-waist skirts with tucked in shirts and sheath dresses and all kinds of things that I never considered before, which is probably one of my favorite results of surgery. At any rate...all of that is awesome except I'm short and I have big fake boobs, which are two things that have made some outfits a little tricky. So...my NSV is that I found a tailor! For a small amount of money someone can make all of my skirts, dresses, and pants, the right length AND all of my suit jackets which I have to order two sizes larger than I am because of my bust, can be taken in at the sides so they actually fit! Before losing weight I would have never spent money on having clothing altered- why bother, I'm still fat, was my logic. Now though, not only am I comfortable spending money on clothing that is brightly colored, fitted, and stylish, but I can take it all to a tailor who can make it custom fit me and I don't feel guilty about the price. It probably sounds silly to be this excited about having a tailor, but I am jubilant. I have maintained at goal for almost a year (my goal weight anniversary is April 1) and I not only have a closet full of clothing that makes me feel confident and attractive, but I don't feel remotely stupid or self-indulgent for spending extra to have it all tailored to fit me well. Most days this far out from surgery I only think about my sleeve when I'm puking something I shouldn't have eaten, but some days like today I look back 2.5 years ago and I see a miserable girl who was so ashamed of what she looked like that she wore dark clothes, flat shoes, never wore makeup or jewelry, and felt worthless. She never would have imagined that 2.5 years into the future that same girl would be having her size 0 skirts altered and her size 4 jackets tailored because her hips and waist are small and her chest is big. Maybe I'm feeling irrationally emotional today, but I feel very grateful for this surgery at the moment and I don't often post new topics, but maybe someone like who I was 2.5 years ago will see this and realize that all of the misery of surgery is worth every single second of it in the end.

Good for you for trying new techniques! I am totally not into the pursuit thing and like you, I tend to keep my distance, particularly if I feel like someone might be cooling off toward me. This is probably a "reject him before he rejects me" response, but it also makes me feel more in control when I am the one determining the distance rather than feeling like I'm being distanced. Enjoy learning to gamble!

Oh no! Picturing that coming from a four year old makes me chuckle a bit though. I think we're in the same area...North Florida? If you do decide to consider plastics, check out Dr. Desai. He did a really great job in all of my surgeries and his staff is excellent. I never thought I would actually have plastic surgery, but I also had soggy boobies and a droopy rest of me and I am so happy I did decide to have surgery. It has made a night and day difference in how I feel. Also, I read a study that found that people who have plastics after bariatric surgery are more likely to keep off the weight they lost than those who don't. While at the time I didn't really see the reason why that would be, in hindsight when you literally cannot peel any fat/ skin off of yourself, I feel like this gives you a huge amount of confidence and more motivation to keep the weight off. I had several procedures done and while I love my new fake chest and my arms and legs, probably the most noticeable change for me was the tummy tuck and later the back part of the 360 lift. Most of my life I was either fat or thin so I could always pull a fist full of fat/skin from around my hips and now, I can literally grab maybe an inch, if that. If you do decide to go with plastics, you will love the results!

I love riding my bike, although I have to say it takes a little building up to be comfortable in my racing bike- the stupid seat literally bruises my butt and I use a very, very squishy seat cushion that fits over it. I also have a cruiser bike that has a big, giant butt seat, and that is not nearly as bad but it still makes my tail bone a bit sore the first few rides of the season.

@@CowgirlJane Your post made me laugh a little because I know what you mean. Maybe men are intimidated by your awesomeness? You're smart, hot, and from your posts on here you seem like a sincerely kind, emotionally intelligent woman...guys are shocked to find that you aren't dating anyone because women like you are so hard to come by! I know it isn't quite the same, but people say the same thing to me....you're so confident, smart, attractive and funny and (other compliments that are not really how I see myself) why are you single? Because all I do is work and I like being single? What that man said to you was definitely not an insult...although he could probably work on giving you better compliments in the future!

@@Inner Surfer Girl Ooooh you took the extra-cool tailor route and had them make you clothing! I was all excited about getting my store-bought clothes altered, but picking the style and the material is awesome and something I hadn't even thought of! @@Julie norton Like you my clothing size changed a lot after plastics and especially the boobs and stomach. I could never wear clothes that were tight around my stomach because I always had a pudge and I had to stick with shirts that could hide bra straps. After plastics none of my clothing really fit although instead of being smart like you and originally going to the tailor, I just bought new stuff that then had to be tailored anyway. I asked around a little about prices and my biggest this is that I need stuff hemmed. One place with not a great reputation did it for $7, another place with an average reputation started at $12 and the lady I ended up going to who does have a store front is $10 per hem if you don't have lining. I also liked her right away as well...I feel like you should like the lady who has to sit at your feet and stick pins really close to your skin, lol.