Miss Mac

I stayed in a horrible marriage subjected to isolation and humiliation for ten years becuase I did not want to fail at a second marriage. It nearly cost me my life when he mistook me for a pinching bag and threatened to kill me. (He kept five loaded guns in the house). Never again will I let the fear of failure keep me from acting in my own best interest. The only thing you need to worry about is failing to take control over your health, happiness, and future. Do what you have to do to get healthy. Bariatric surgery has been a life saver for so many of us.

If it feels like someone is stabbing you under the shoulder blades with a bowie knife and twisting it around mercilessly, it might be your gallbladder. This is one of those things you should ask your surgeon about. Gas is bad enough, but should not interrupt your day like that. A lot of people have gallbladder issues after bariatric surgery.

At 14 months out, I only had one really bad night when I had some flu symptoms going on. Other than that, not even GERD. I only get nauseous if I have to take pain meds.

Comment on plantar fascitis: I had painful heel spur surgery in 1993 which took three monthsand a surgical boot to recover, but resolved that issue in my left foot. In 1997, I got a spur and fascitis in my right foot. New town, new podiatrist. This guy wanted to disconnect the tendons in my foot! Geeze....so I went to an orthopedist. He gave me a cortisone shot (so not pleasant) an $8 jelly heel for my shoe, and told me to wear solid shoes that lift my heel higher than my toes, enough to take my weight off my heel. In less than a week, the problem was solved. I still wear "sensible" shoes, but my feet don't hurt either.

"Life is too short to work for a jerk." Steve Harvey My advice is that while you are losing weight, rebuild your resume. Include every little thing you have been asked to do that was not particularly on your job description. I call it "Resume Bait". In the 1980's I was executive housekeeeper at a resort hotel in Michigan. A divorce was coming up and I knew I would need a better job and more money to support myself, so I began volunteering for Manager on Duty weekends where I had to run all of the other departments besides my own. That included the front desk, the pool, maintenance, conference services, food and banquets, the golf course and the 19th hole. Resume bait. When I supervised common area housekeepers for a large condo property in Portsmouth, NH, I took a part-time job with a local contractor to paint and remodel vacant units for absentee owners. They also hired me out for other local projects and taught me how to order supplies from vendors and to manage vendor contracts. Resume bait. My first job out of high school was counter work at a Dunkin Donuts in Hammond, Indiana. One day the donut finisher called in sick, so I volunteered to go in the back and learn how to finish donuts. Resume bait. My ex-hubby moved us 14 times in 23 years, and on every job I had, I offered to learn every job I was able to do on any shift. When I was in my 20's I worked at Columbia records in Terre Haute, Indiana, running double presses making albums. (If you have Simon and Garfunkle's Bridge Over Troubled Water or Alice Cooper's Killer or School's Out albums, I made those with my own little hands). Anyway, we went on lay-off. I did not like the unemployment line, so after I applied, I went right back to HR and asked the lady that even though you don't have work for two hundred people to do, do you have something ONE person could do????? So she put me in the tape plant, disassembling 8 track tapes with pneumatic tools (yes, I am that old) to recycle parts. Then I got a brief stint in injection molding to unload a machine while the conveyor was down for a couple of weeks, then I worked in the warehouse until the press plant came back up. It was all for RESUME BAIT. I have said all that to say this. There is no point in staying where you are not wanted. Jealousy makes people evil and she will find a wait to push you out. No big deal if you are prepared or can move on before she gets a chance to do that. Sit down with a notebook and write down everything you have done on every job. If your employee re-imburses tuition, take a class or two or learn a language. If they don't, some schools will let you monitor a class for no credit. Just start building yourself up instead of letting her tear you down. You are in charge of your destiny, not her.

You will just have a new motivation to get creative in the kitchen. We all don't need nearly as much food as we used to eat. Just change the formula to way more Protein and way less carbs. Dessert is an apple instead of apple pie a la mode. The stomach adjusts fairly quickly. It is the head game that is the crazy maker. So much of our eating is habit and timing rather than necessity. Put on your creative hat and you will be fine. Once you actually start to feel better internally, you may become a low carb evangelist.

One of the biggest downfalls of the standard American diet is that most of what we eat now is processed in a factory, and we have no recall of what real food tastes like. It just takes a while to get used to real food in it's natural state. Macaroni, bread, and crackers don't grow on vines. You may need to find some Youtube cooking videos or monitor some Paleo or Primal sites like Mark's Daily Apple. Eggface is a good site and is mentioned here often. I was 54 before I ever tasted an avocado, sunchoke, artichoke, asparagus, olive oil, hummus, pomegranate, squash, zuchinni, quinoa, cayenne, coconut milk, almond milk, Greek yogurt, ricotta, asiago cheese, gouda cheese, feta cheese, mascarpone, muenster, neufechatel, dill, pesto, tahini, green tea, kale, eggplant, jicama, tomatillos, shitake mushrooms, capers, tofu, basmati rice, black eyed peas, cannellini Beans, endamame, and prosciutto. This does not include casseroles and Entrees that I was used to, but had never been made from scratch with fresh ingredients. How did that happen? I grew up on TV dinners, Pop Tarts, hot dogs and Kraft macaroni and Cheese because my mother did not enjoy cooking. Eight years ago I met my boyfriend who is a Maltese citizen. He has intoduced me to the Mediterranean style of cooking. Between him and my daughter who became a vegetarian, I have been exposed to all of those foods that I had only heard of but had never tried. Nope, I did not like them all, and I still think tofu is disgusting, but almost everything else is delicious - and I had no idea. So, be brave. Try new stuff and get adventurous in the kitchen. You aren't doomed a life of boiled chicken and unsalted geen beans. I wish you good luck and good health.

the Fuzzy Navel is one of my favorites, too. Syntrax seems to dissove a lot better than unjury, and the taste is not as strong.

It is all downhill from here. I had my gallbladder out in 1973 (when I was 21 years old and back when the still cut you half in two). I have never missed it, and felt soooooo much better after a short recovery period. You have two things going for you now: That icky old gallbladder is out and gone, and your weight is on its way to healthy. At 14 months out, I can tell you that once you pass that first two or three months you will begin to get some snap back and feel better than you have since ever. You will be abe to enjoy your chidren more and have more energy for the day to day stuff that tends to get away from us. Just follow your plan and make good sleep your priority.

Garifabvsg, You can type her user name in the search box, hit the menu down arrow, click on MEMBERS and bring up her home page. She has no info posted there yet, but you could send her a private message from there.

Congratulations! Not every PCP is on board with bariatric surgery. The other sad part of that is that a lot of them also have insufficient up-to-date training on human nutrition and can only hand you the USDA food pyramid which is horrifically carb heavy and out-dated.

Just to comment on Kiwwi1991's remark: When I was much heavier, I justified it with "meat is for the man and bone is for the dog".........until I had a stroke. My dear sweet gentleman friend met me at the heavier weight. When I decided that I was actually going to have to deal with this 53" waist and get bariatric surgery or risk another (and possibly fatal) stroke, I was concerned that he might be a "chubby chaser" and would not love me any more. So we had to have that conversation. I asked him if he felt like he would be missing something in the relationship if I got down to a healthy weight. Thankfully he said that he would be my number one supporter in getting healthy, whatever that takes. He wants me around more than he wants me round. I am glad he said that, because a NO answer would have been a deal breaker. It would have told me that he loved something in his hands more than someone in his heart. That is also why I don't believe is sharing the details of your bariatric journey with just anybody. We don't need the Captain Bringdowns telling us what we can't do. This is hard enough. The most important lesson I have learned through all of this is one I was not prepared for, and that is how bariatric surgery exposes the dynamics of your relationships. Now it is up to us to decide what our peace of mind is worth.

By the time I lost the first thirty pounds I was sleeping a lot better because I was not waking up every twenty minutes to pee. With the pressure off my bladder I can sleep for hours at a time in spite of drinking so much more fluids.

Instead of thinking: "I love him, so why does he treat me this way?" Start thinking: "Why would I love someone who treats me this way?" Life is too short to waste your time with a jerk. On that same note, life is too short to work for a jerk, too.

The dreaded third week stall is a right of passage. Trust the process.

Ben Franklin said, "To whom thy secret thou dost tell, to him thy freedom thou dost sell." I say, " You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know."

Congratulations, kiddo.

Obesity Comorbidities To follow is a list of comorbidities (additional conditions or diseases) related to obesity which may help you in qualifying for weight loss surgery. It is from NIHS.gov (National Institute of Health, a federal entitity which uses this list to establish co-morbidities for insurance companies). My insurance is BCBS Federal Employee, and this list was used for me. Polycystic Ovaries is on the list. Family history of heart disease Family history of stroke Family history of diabetes Family history of heart attacks Hyperinsulinemia Diabetes High blood pressure Coronary-artery disease Hypertension Migraines or headaches directly related to obesity or cranial hypertension Congestive heart failure Neoplasia Dyslipidemia Anemia Gallbladder disease Osteoarthritis Degenerative arthritis Degenerative disc Degenerative joint disease Recommended joint replacement from specialist Accelerated degenerative joint disease Asthma Repeated pneumonia Repeated pleurisy Repeated bronchitis Lung restriction Gastroesophageal reflex (GERD) Excess facial & body hair (Hirsutism) Rashes Chronic skin infections Excess sweating Frequent yeast infections Urinary stress incontinence Menstrual irregularity Hormonal abnormalities Polycystic ovaries Infertility Carcinoma (breast, colon, uterine cancer) sleep apnea Pseudotumor cerebri Depression Psychological/sexual dysfunction Social discrimination Premature death in the immediate family

i just recently had a one-year follow-up barium swallow, and it took all morning because I could only drink and ounce of the barium every few minutes. I had to drink something like 16 ounces. I drank a few, took images, drank a few more, waited 1/2 hour, took images, this process continued for about four hours.

I let it all hang out and wore the loosest clothes I had so that nothing would touch my incisions. In the hospital I wore double hospital gowns since I was on IVs.

OOPS! I don't mean you may be 2239. My comma disappeared. I hate typos and haven't figurd out how to access spellcheck on this site. 22, 39,

I cringe every time I see a newbie post a confession to a bariatric mis-step. Responses come back in three types: 1. Veterans tend to be harsher because they have walked that road with either more or less success, but want you to be successful by being strong. They will encourage you to do whatever you have to do to comply with the program that your individual bariatric team has given to you. On more than one occassion I have been called a goody two-shoes for attempting to be compliant. 2. Recent post-ops who have endured the pre-op and are now pushing through post-op adjustments to their surgery. Their responses tend to be more flexible because their daily struggle is still painfully fresh. Their response is more like "There, there there.....you messed up but you will be all right if you get back on track tomorrow morning". 3. The third typical response is from other newbies and pre-ops. It's the standard "You just don't understand. I thought this site was for support, and here go the veterans beating people up again." If you stay on this site long enough, you will see the pattern. All three responses ARE supportive in their own way. We veterans always want those who follow us to do well. If you come onto this site understanding that opinions and tact will vary, it will be easier to choke down the variety of responses that you get. My walk is not the same as anyone else's. I was 62 when I had my surgery. You may be 22 39, 44, 51, 68, or even older. I am 5'4". You may be a little person or 6'10. My weight was 235, mostly it was like wearing a pony for a belt. You weight may be in your butt your thighs or evenly distributed, but excessive. I am retired with a supportive companion in the house, but no tots, tweens, teenagers, or toxic relatives to influence my food choices. But I am a domestic violence survivor and eight years ago escaped from ten years of rural isolation with an eventually diagnosed sociopath. If I had decided to have my bariatric surgery in 2000 instead of 2013, my own experience, personality, surgery type would have been different with a non-existant support system. So, my approach to someone with a combative spouse who sabotages every effort you make is going to be to get away and do your own thing. Someone who is in a conservative church environment is going to advise you to stay and pray. What I am trying to say is that we don't need to be combative and defensive with each other. Support comes in many flavors, and we need to respect that. My personal advice to he original poster is to forgive yourself and determine that you will be in control of this process. Eliminate your excuses one by one. You have to think differently to feel differently. If your excuse is that you don't have the right food in the house - get the right food in the house. If your excuse is that you have to cook for the family, then it's time to introduce your family to outstanding nutrition. If you set your specialized foods in the fridge and others nab it, then you are going to have to establish personal space in the fridge with consequences for invasion. Your kitchen is a restaurant - closed after dinner. This whole process is indeed a head game. Your doctor has established the rules. Think of it ths way: You can't play basketball with a football. Yes you can throw it and pass it and put it in the basket it, but it sure won't bounce. You can only fudge on this process for so long before it just won't work for you. That is not being mean..... it is being realistic. Some doctors don't check your liver before surgery. Mine did. I had to have an ultrasound before he would operate. Some doctors will open you up and close you right back if you liver is too big and can get nicked or damaged in the process of bariatric surgery. For me, the pre-op diet was the hardest part because I was still living with a full-sized stomach. I did stay on plan, but I sure did not like it. On the second day I was ready to eat my fingers. By the end of the third day it got a little easier. So, my suggestion is to take this one day at a time. Think of it as a three day liquid diet four times. The doctor's plans vary so widely. My liquid diet was ten days and I went to full liquids as soon as I got home and was eating regular food at one month. Other surgeons realllllllly stretch it out. But the reason is the same. Bariatric surgery brutalizes your digestive system and it frankly needs time to recover to reduce the possibility of avoidable complications. You can do this. As a veteran, I am rooting for you. I wish you good luck and good health.

62

Fresh tomato stuffed with tuna salad

For me, it is anything that takes control over my taste buds and is difficult to stop eating even though I know I have had enough to be full. The slider foods cloud my judgement on what is enough. And yes they tend to be heavy on the carbs. My sliders are potatoes (I have never met a potato I did not like), hot homemade breads, muffins, Cookies, pancakes etc. I just totally have to avoid them to have any kind of success. On the Protein side, have to be careful with cheese.....I love colby and cheddar. Peanut Butter is another. They are good, and the are protein, but they are dense and high calorie. Nuts, too.