Miss Mac

Don't let SIL have so much power over you. Get your surgery done. Your health is important. too. It was nice to have full-time support afetr my sleeve, but I could have taken care of myself if I had too. It just took a couple of days for the anesthetic and pain meds to wear off.

i will be eligible for a panniculectomy (just the excess skin removal) in December at the end of my second year. My insurance does not cover a tummy tuck or anything with arms, butts, boobs, and legs. But here is why I may take advantage of it at the age of 63. At 63, the skin is not so elastic and will never be what is was when I was "pretty young thing." I have issues with itching and redness under the flap. My surgeon takes a look at it each time I come in for a follow-up. The first protocol for treatment is medicated powder, which I am using. If the whole thing festers up with infection or redness this summer, then he will give me a medicated cream to use. My doctor documents my condition consistently. If at some point there is no satisfactory response to treatment, I will have the skin flap removed. This would not be for vanity, but for my health and quality of life.

Sounds like with the choices they gave you, the whole band must have fallen off.

I have had both of my knees done and understand the degree of immobility, pain, and recovery. My right knee was done in 2007 and was such a botch job, that it still impedes my ability to be consistant with lower body work-outs or walking/standing more than minutes. I am sure that I would not be such a slow loser if I could be more agressive with a walking program. My left knee was done in 2011 and gives me no trouble at all (different doctor - different hospital). Just hang in there and stay with your program. My loss has slowed down (14 months) but I cannot blame it on my knees. My next adjustment needs to be weaning off of all that artificial sweetener I put in my tea. I think that would help....one adjustment at a time. I just had a family member in intensive care the last four days with a diabetic issue, and it has totally thrown off my schedule and availability to my preferred foods and my scale. I am sure there will be some repenting to do this week. The further out I get, the more I realize that maintainance is going to be quite a test of character and dietary integrity as I seek to develop my new normal. I wish you good luck and good health.

Delay is not denial. Now, about your discs: I have 17 herniated discs, three just recently repaired in my neck. I have thoracic ridiculopathy and need a full lumbar fusion. My ortho wanted to delay the lumbar fusion until I lost 100 pounds, because he was hoping that the weight loss would ease the pressure on my spinal cord. He was right. As soon as I lost that first thirty pounds, I could feel a difference. In October 2014, I had a three nerve ablation at L4/5 which made a hugh difference is reducing the perception of pain and sciatica. I am 14 pounds from goal and am completely off of Lyrica, Hydrocodone, Lidocaine Patches, and Volarin topical pain relieveing cream. I used to get the spinal epidurals every three months, and will not need one for about two years when the ablated nerves are expected to regenerate (then I will just get them ablated again). My back is still weak because it is structurally unstable, but getting rid of the pain and groggy meds has made a remarkably difference in my quality of life. Don't give up so easy. And what is all this "worthy" business about? One person is not more or less worthy of good health than another. Take control of your own health and happiness and demand what you need. Now get out there and get that surgery, girl.

As soon as I could eat purees, I started with steamed veggies like green Beans and carrots. I love cauliflower and broccoli, but could not tolerate them or any raw fruit or veggie until six months, including salad greens. I could eat tpmatoes early on. Potatoes are still hard to tolerate at 14 months. Even a small amount just sits like a brick. Miss Tummy punishes me for hours when I eat starchy foods like bread, rice, noodles, crackers, etc.. My favorite fruit is banana, but I can only tolerate a couple of bites. I can enjoy berries and apples frequently. 1/2 an apple a day helps prevent constipation.

An exhausted nap is a very good analagy. I did not feel a thing after moving onto the surgical gurney. Woke up about an hour later when they were done. I did not have any drains.

The first day was kinda like not eating anything for a day before a procedure....quite do-able. The second day I wanted to eat my thumbs. The third day was uncomfortable, but not as bad, and from the fourth day on, I was okay with it.

My insurance provides a case manager for me. I called her two days after my final clinic appointment to let her know to expect the paperwork packet, and she said it in and was already approved! I called the surgeon's office and they said they had not heard anything yet, and the coordinator was going to be on vacation for nine days. In the meantime, the insurance case manager mailed me a letter of approval for up to five days in the hospital. I faxed that to the surgeon's office and they went ahead and set my date, a full week befor the coordinator would have even returned from vacation.

Obviously, we have hit on another one of our lovely bariatric hot buttons. Even our religious and cultural up-bringings influenced how we interpret whether an action or comment is abuse or not. My folks moved a lot and were pillars of whichever church was on the corner. Subsequently, I was trained to be Daddy's submissive little girl and hubby's submissive, tolerant, long-suffering wife. Love was equated with painfully demoralizing harsh discipline. How our pulpits interpret scripture to approve spouses who are vocally and physically aggressive towards each other is beyond me. I put with with a cheating lothario first husband because I was supposed to stay and pray, even if he brought home STDs and AIDS. Gimme a break. I stayed with a second husband ten years too long because he was too tired, too wound up, too hungry, too full, any excuse he had for belittling me and blaming me for everything uncomfortable to his tiny mind. After he mistook me for a punching bag, he was court ordered to have a psychological examination. He was diagnosed as narcisissistic, schizophrenic, psycho-sociopath. And he kept five loaded guns in the house. There was no more being patient and long-suffering with the inherent differences between men and women. You would not believe the judgemental flack I got from family for having two husbands, two divorces, and now living with a boyfriend in my old age. He treats me gently like the first two should have and is a gift from God. Good manners are good manners whether you are male or female. All I want the original poster to know is that if he finds her scars unattactive, then she should find his attitude unattractive. Sure, we do not know the whole dynamic of their relationship, and OP I wish you well. All I am suggesting is that if you have any doubts about which way your marriage is headed, remember this Human Resources concept: the one with the most documentation wins.

I do not know what happened to the spacing on my comment. I did not type it that way.

RJ's comment about a prick reminded me of something funny. Years ago, I was at a new doctor's office getting a blood draw for a new patient profile. The lab tech said "You are going to feel a little prick". Without thinking, I said "My ex-husband was a little prick!" Now, just for the information, when you have a private moment at your computer, look up The Cycle of Abuse, which works for emotional and mental abuse as well as physical. It has four stages: 1. Abuse occurs.....person strikes you, insults you, denies medical attention, whatever. 2. Reconciliation.....you express that you have been hurt, want counselling, might even leave if this doesn't stop. partner is sorry, brings you flowers or a gift, promises to make it up to, it will never happen again, I was just tired, hungry, scared, sugar was low, bla de bla bla blah. With my ex, he wanted ME to prove to HIM that I still loved him, by doing humiliating things that only satisified his personal perversions. It did not make me feel better, it just handed the power back to him. 3.Calm again for a while, but you are on pins and needles not knowing when you will do or say something that sets that person off again. With my ex, the rules always changed. It was really difficult to keep track of what all of his obsessive, compulsive rules were (just like in sleeping With the Enemy). And it does not take much for this to occur. Once, I was setting dinner on the table and he took the bowl of green Beans and threw them on the floor. "You always ruin EVERY meal with vegetables." Abuse occurs again. When I said you were too ugly to live, I was just JOKING. Can't you take a joke? You were more fun when you drank more. I wish I could beat the G*d da*n S**t out of you. (In court he was charged with a terroristic threat of a specific nature). Anyway, it is a cycle that repeats over and over. It escalates, never retreats. My escuse for staying ten years too long in that ten-year marriage was 1) I did not want to admit failure and 2) He did not hit me.......................until he hit me. Listen, you can take his apology for what it's wirth, but keep you antennaes out for a deeper meaning to his behavior. You will find a lot of good info from professional sources online to help you put this issue in perspective. Hugs from Chicago.

You did all of that and they still did surgery??? I don't buy it.

My family members to not get to vote on my healthcare decisions. My healthcare is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship, and I am the dictator. Do what you want, dear.

Bariatric surgery definitely exposes the hidden dynamics in a relationship. Instead of thinking "I love him, so why does he treat me this way?" start thinking "Why would I love someone who treats me this way?" I am guessing that he resisted you getting surgery in the first place. Go for the revenge factor and get as sexy and sassy as you want to be. You have made the first step in taking control of your health. Don't give any of your power over you life away to him or anyone else. I threw two ex-husbands to the curb. The first one was my high-school sweet-heart and we were married 23 years. He got a mid-life crisis, and I got to worry about him bringing home other womens' germs to me. His response to my baby weight gain from having kids was that I had become too ugly to live. My second ex-husband of ten years was totally controlling and began to mistake me for a punching bag. so, see ya - wouldn't wanna be ya, restraining order and all. After taking two years off from men and relationships, so that I could get to know my own self. I had to learn what kind of music I liked, what my own favorite foods were, what did I want to watch on TV if no one else was barging in and changing the channels, who I was when no one else influenced my decisions. Could I make it on my own. Was being alone better that being with an a**? I met my gentleman friend of eight years, now. he is a gift from God, and totally supportive of anything I want to do. What I am saying is that if his response is an indication of how he was feeling about you anyway, then I would suggest keeping a notebook / diary hidden away. Write down his snarky comments so that you can review it later to remind yourself that it is not your imagination and he is hurting your feelings on purpose. My diary was a valuable tool at the divorce hearing. In a Walmart he told me that he was sick and tired of looking at my ugly face. That's when I realized that his private humiliation of me was going public. If your man is just insecure, he will apologize. But I'll tell you this...my first ex would rather have choked to death than to ever say he was sorry for hurting my feelings. You have a lot to think about. There are good men and women out there who will treat us decently. Life is too short to live with a jerk.

Lots of threads on this subject. I am 14 months out and did not experience hair loss at all (I am 63). My doctor had me on 80 grams Protein and 20,000 mg Biotin. Walgreen's sells 10,000mg capsules, so I take two a day. Around the third month I did have an issue with brittle chipping nails, but adding Gelatin to my meals every day turned that around in about two weeks time.

Walgreens sells it in four flavors: pepperment, chamomile, chocolate, and organic black.

I have the Smooth Move tea in four different flavors. My favorite is chocolate because I can steep it in my hot chocolate at bedtime and not taste that herbal flavor so much. I use it if I haven't gone for a couple of days. Everything is just fine by morning. I also keep stool softener, miralax, magnesium tablets, prune juice, and apples on hand. I guess it's the old Girl Scout in me.......be prepared.

Listen to anything RJ says. She has been through it all, and above anyone else on this site has the most valid and respected perspective on surviving complications. CowgirlJane is another bariatric sister who has endured through some discouraging circumstances that would have brought orthers down. I am so sorry that your wife is struggling, but I am confident that you will find some comfort here.

I hear ya, sleeve sister. I am just not as motivated to make laps inside the house as much as casual walk around around the neighborhood on a pleasant sunny morning. What I did yesterday both pleases and shames me. My gentleman friend is from the Mediterranean Island of Malta, and they have a lovely pastry there, called pastizzi. For lack of a better description, pastizzi is like a baked ravioli using puff pastry instead of noodle dough. When we would visit Detroit when he folks were alive, we would go to a little neighborhood market and buy frozen ones by the dozens and bring them back home to Chicago. Outside of Malta, Detroit, and Australia, they had almost impossible to find. His favorite filling (and the most common on the Malta Island) has a ricotta cheese filling, although a corned beef / pea mixture is popular, also. I was sooooooooo bored yesterday (retired and post-stroke, so I really don't have anywhereI am medically permitted to go when I am alone). We had the perfect pastizzi storm in the fridge. There was ricotta, corned beef, peas, plenty of butter....the temptation was too great, and he has not had pastizza since 2011. So, I got up early and started the process of making home-made puff pastry, which I had not done in twenty years because of constant yo-yo dieting. I made up some ricotta filling, some corned beef/pea filling, and experimented with bacon/onion/spinach filling and two dessert fillings - ricotta with lemon, and ricotta with dark chocolate, crushed unsalted mixed nuts, cinnamon and dark chocolate. Oh man, I played in the kitchen all day. The fillings themselves are all bariatric friendly being mostly Protein. Since I am a year out and close to goal, I can justify the few carbs is the corned beef / pea mixture. But did I stop at eating the fillings? Noooooooo. When I baked the pastizzis for his supper, I just couldn't resist the golden brown yummy deliciousness, and had one of each between dinner and bedtime. Well, I am having pastizzi remorse today and still can't go outside to walk it off because it is 18 degrees here and snowing AGAIN. I will have to do some extra squats and belly dancing, I guess! But, talk about a happy man......he was so surprised when he came in from work - totally not expecting a surprise like that. He is the cook in this house, and quite skilled with the Mediterranean cuisine and has never made pastizzi himself. So, two points for making the homemade pastizzi, minus four points for indulging in too many for myself. I need some summer sunshine or at least another 45 degrees to get out and go walking. I don't do cold.

My experience with Arnica is with the topical gel form. One of my daughters is trained in physical / occupational therapy with a masters degree. After I had knee replacement surgery in 2007, I had major issues with muscle pain during that first year of recovery. She suggested that instead of taking so many pain pills, I should see if I get any relief from rubbing in Arnica gel. It has it's own unusual herbal smell, but did not sting like BenGay or other popular muscle rubs. I have to admit - it did help.

I was allowed nuts at six weeks. I go to Trader Joe's once in a while and buy a variety of unsalted nuts in large bulk packages and mix them all up and put them in baggies with some dark chocolate chips and shredded coconut.

My pureed stage was anything that was for supper - put in the blender. My favorite was Italian beef, which I used to eat on a sandwhich, but no more bread now. You simply take an oven baked beef roast, shred it, put in on the stove to simmer for about an hour with the drippings, a bit of Water so it doesn't scorch, sliced onions, green peppers, a beef boullion cube and Italian seasoning. Take your portion and puree it in the blender....delicious. I put a few fresh cooked green Beans with my portion just because it is my favorite veggie. The family can have the rest for sandwiches.

You can actually use the pre-op diet to lose weight without surgery, too. After sleeve surgery your tummy is 80% - 85% smaller and will only hold around a cup of food even after a year. I lost 22 pounds the two months I was on a 1000 calorie, very low carb pre-op, and another ten pounds on the liquid diet. But here is the problem......I lost 50 pounds two other times on the Atkins diet and gained it all back twice, plus another 50 pounds after a stroke left me with mobility problems. The sleeve helps me keep the volume down, and I found out my body does not need nearly as much food as I thought it did in the past. Yes, my hunger is greatly reduced. If you are hesitant about surgery and are willing to pay the price of consistency, try Mark's Daily Apple, or some other Primal or Paleo site that encourages a high Protein, low carb, nothing from a factory eating plan with strength training. I have been on a diet since 1976 and finally decided to do something permanent about it. I had my sleeve on 12/23/2013 and am 14 pounds from goal.

That is like someone with a broken ankle advising you not to get cataract surgery........apples and oranges.