Miss Mac

I call that "Hampsters in my head" - all those random negative thoughts just running amok in there. Sometimes I just have to b***h-slap them to get their attention long enough to throw them to the curb.

I gained 12 pounds in the hospital in two days, thanks to the IV's. It took all that next week to get back to where I started. I was at my 1 1/2 year bariatric follow-up yesterday and told the doctor I was weighing every day. She told me to have someone hide my scale for month and go cold-turkey. Oh, man......I walked past that spot this morning and just wanted to stand in that spot like I have done for the past 18 months. The scale will drive you crazy if you let it.

I had to laugh when I read this story. Four years ago, I retired after a 35 year career of managing hotel housekeepers and hospital environmental service technicians. One thing I always told new employess was this: The first rule of custodial science is "Get it before it dries". It looks like your Aunt Jeanne and your husband were way ahead of the game.

tssmith5110, I am from a suburb of Chicago, called Alsip. I was not born here, but I have moved here on purpose three times. I guess I really am a South-sider (sometimes called Sox-siders) at heart.

Congratulations! I call opportunities like that "Resume Bait:" Especially since you are young, you should grab every opportunity you can handle, to do tasks and activities that are out of the ordinary for you. The next time you refresh your resume, you add any of these new accomplishments. It is a process that works and can often be that edge that sets you out from the crowd. Also, a prime skill to have for any job is public speaking. Addressing small groups is a great way to get comfortable with talking in front of the room. I hope you take this gift that is being offered to you. Good luck and may it boost your career in a positive way for the rest of your life.

RANT: So, this morning, while checking in on my bariatric peeps, I see eight (8) posts from more low numbered posters just throwing useless non-bariatric links at us. I am expecting recent posts from forum members and just see crap except for a couple of folks. WTH?

LipstickLady, when I read your post, my heart sank. It took me back to ten years ago, a few months after I had escaped a psych sh**head ex-husband. I was on a commuter train on my way to night classes and there were some rowdy pre-teen girls in the same car. They were argueing and calling each other B****, over and over again. I couldn't wait to get off that train. i understand that that is the way uncivilized people talk, but the reason it hit me so hard was because that is what my mean ol' rotten ex would call me when he was throwing something at me. I got off that train and walked about six blocks to class, all the while those harsh words were festering in my head. When I got there, I was welling up in tears and had to find an unoccupied classroom where I could just hide in a corner an cry it out. After composing myself, I went on to class, and wouldn't you know it, two classmates (adults - grown working adults) were into a war of words, calling each other b****. I stayed long enough for attendance and left because I was so undone by their cruel words to each other. I think, Lipstick Lady, that maybe those sore spots just never go completely away. It would be nice if you could educate that individual, but who knows. I love men, but they are hard to train.

I lovvvvvve Peanut Butter, but I found early on that it would catch in my throat I could not drink enough Water by volume, to wash it down. I had to wait a while before I tried it again.

When I was a week out, I could drink a couple of ounces at a time, but then had to wait 15-20 minutes before I could drink more. That amounted to 8 ounces and hour, so, I was able to get close to my goal.

You may have just set a record for getting bariatric surgery through the insurance route. The only time I have seen it quicker is with the co-pay folks who can fast-track because there is no insurance to muddle up the process. Congratulations and welcome to the forum. I .don't mean copay, I mean self pay

It does sound like one-stop shopping would be nice, but I would be concerned about the contamination issue. I had my gallbladder out in 1973, back when they still cut you half in two. Mine ruptured and stones and bile went everywhere. The doctor said he had to "go fish". I was in the hospital eleven days. Now, the surgery is done laparascopically, and in many places is outpatient surgery. I do remember that once I got home, though, my recovery was fairly easy and I was bored out of my mind within a week. Do your homework, and I am sure you will make the right decision for you.

I just recently bought Walgreens Vitamins for women 50+. It has all the nutrient values plus more than the bariatric Vitamin that was recommended for my plan. The bariatric vitamin was over 5X the cost. What a racket. The costco shakes might not be a bad idea. I overbought on the big canisters of whey Protein powder because I wanted a variety of flavors. I think I must have enough left for at least three years.

My bariatric team has a nurse manager whom I can take issues to. Short of bugging the surgeon, I can contact her when the process is not going smoothly. Stay on it and stay pro-active. Stay in their face about it.

Oh, no! Sorry to hear that you are being bombarded with stress. If stress burned calories, we all would have been supermodels a long time ago. I hope that your environment calms down so that you can have some refreshing peace of mind. Hugs from Miss Mac in Chicago.

I only regret that Iw as not able to do this on my own. But I had been on a diet since 1978 and gained 105 pounds. When my doctor sent me to the bariatric center and I fully understood Metabolic Syndrome X, I finally gave in. I realized that I could keep fighting this fight with my slingshot and bow & arrow, or I could get a Sherman tank with all the big guns and get the job done. In spite of the temporary inconveniece of diet phases and lifestyle adjustments, it has all been worth it. I just wish I had done it before I had a stroke.

I am a domestic violence survivor and twice divorced. First marriage we were too young. He became a prolific cheater and treated me very poorly, but never hit me. He would rather have choked to death than to say he was sorry for hurting my feelings. I was in a church where wives were submissive little robots and was told to stay and pray. But I had finally had it with him bringing other people's germs home to me, so I left him and that church. I did not take enough time to find myself. I dated a couple of frogs and then married the first man who threw a compliment my way. Later I found out that he and his family hid a history of violence-fueled mental illness. We were married ten years, but as his condition deteriorated, he began to mistake me for a punching bag. He had five loaded guns in the house and had threatened to kill me. I escaped in the middle of the night to a womens shelter, and they helped me get my head on straight. What happened to me may be what has happened to you. Although one husband took me down physically, they both took me down mentally by telling me that I was no good, too ugly to live, and that I would be easier to get along with if I drank more. The angels at the womens shelter advised me to stay out of a relationship for at least two years, to find out who I am without a man telling me how to live my life. I did not know who I was because I went from being Daddy's fearfully obedient little girl to XXX's good little Stepford wife to YYYYYYY's doormat. By the time I left him, I had never known what kind of music I liked, what style of clothes to wear, what I like to eat when I did not have to serve what someone else wanted. I did not know what to watch with the Tv remote in my own hand. I truely did not know who I was. I had lost the essence of me. I was a ghost in a human container. So, I filed a restraining order and left the state. And I did what the shelter people told me, and stayed away from relationships for two years. I went back to school and finished my bachelor's degree that I started in 1970, and got my diploma at age 58. I got my own apartment and put furnishings in there that expressed who I wanted to be, not who I was. Exactly at two years out, I met a man who turned out to be the man I wish I had met when I was young. We got to know each other well before becoming intimate. We dated for five years before I moved in with him. He treats me like the Queen of the Universe, and we have been together nine years now. My suggestion to you is to step back for a while and discover the real you outside of anyone's influence. Being a mother, I doubt that you should be a wild party girl. You are not 17 trying to hide a liquor bottle from your parents. You have kids who will not be around forever and need a solid positive influence from their mother. Each night you are out partying, you are not nourishing your kids. One thing I have learned about being abused is that we get so used to it that we start to abuse and either isolate ourselves or run around confused looking for validation. I am not a professional cousellor, but I have seen the dark side of domestic violence. I think that lost is where you are now. You already know that liquor, partying, and indiscriminate intimacy is not good for you and not a good example for your kids. These activities are self-destructive at a time when you need to be building a new foundation for your life. I would contact a womens sheter just to see which counselor they might recommend. You do not need a parade of men to validate your worth. You do not need liqour fueled parties to be happy. Maybe you need new friends and a new support group. I hope you can find the new you apart from all these influences. Calm down for a minute and do what you have to do find peace of mind. It will make all the difference. Hugs from Miss Mac in Chicago.

My rant on this topic is being called a "goody two shoes" (yes, that happened) for following my plan.

This is John Oliver talking about sugar. It is so funny and so true. 11:34 long

I have been calling my sleeve Miss Tummy from the beginning. It helps me realize that she is the boss of me.

Yes

About fifty pounds down, I caved in and went to a foundation shop. I have gone from a 48D to a 36B and can buy regular bras now. But I don't get the $8 Walmart ones anymore. I go online and buy good ones with some construction to them. So, I guess it's underwire and padding holding me together. I am surprised at my age of 63, that I am not sagging all that much. I heard on the plastic surgeon show "Botched" that the perfect distance from collarbone to nipple should be 21cm. I am still hanging in there at 22cm. I am definitely happy about that. I won't need a breast lift.

Just a thought.........how about you figure how many calories you drink over a period of say......a month. Maybe that will help you see how this social activity is actually adding to your misery instead of your happiness. Will your drinking friends like you less if you cut back on the booze? Do you need to be drinking / drunk to have fun? Maybe, just maybe, if you have surgery and lose enough weight to be able to embrace regular activity and exercise, you could find friends who like to hike instead of drink. Your current friends may be the only people in your current social universe, but they don't have to be. One thing I have found out about losing weight is that we also lose inhibitions that were holding us back, too. That new thin you that is trapped inside the current hefty you may be an entirely different person. A healthier body and healthier outlook changes us. It is no secret that bariatric surgery exposes the raw dynamics of relationships, and there are a lot of examples on this site. Once you do lose weight and become thin and healthy, you my find that your current "friends" are threatened by the competition you will present. Think really hard about whether they treat you like a friend or like a joke. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. Just don't let your current friendships determine your future health. Believe me, the health problems escalate quickly with obesity. You have to decide where the greater value is. Hugs from Miss Mac in Chicago.

I gave up 23 years of happiness for my first marriage. I gave up 10 years of happiness for my second marriage. I have been with a lovely gentleman who treats me well, for the last nine years. What a difference a relationship makes when it is two sided. If your marriage is already one-sided, where everything is to his advantage and you have lost your sense of self, then you don't need bariatric surgery to expose the raw dynamics of your relationship (and it will). Life is too short to live with a jerk. Here's to hoping you will find your happiness, whatever that takes.

He sounds like a great guy, but if he is secretly shallow,, wouldn't you want to know sooner than later? Has he asked about your scars? I am a believer in this: You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know. If he doesn't bring it up, then I wouldn't either.

My energy started to come back when I started regular cooked foods at 4 1/2 weeks. Up until then I was really glad I am retired. My previous job involved all day walking supervising housekeepers on ten floors of four buildings. No wonder I had a stroke at my weight. I have decent energy now.