Miss Mac

Just a side comment on the thought of taping your mother-in-law to the ceiling fan. I lived with my sister for a while after a divorce. My seven year old nephew was unrepentant about leaving his dirty tissues all around the house. One day, I told him that if he didn't start using the various waste cans in every room, that I was going to tape one on him. Nothing different the next day, sooooooooo he woke up one morning with a waste can duct taped to his pajamas. Problem solved. And here is a side note on mothers-in-law. I think bras were invented by a man as a torture device for his mother-in-law! Lose4life2, just hang in there and find a way to hide the date (or tell her the date was changed). You can't undo it once you get it done, so whatever she says after words will roll off you like Water on a duck's back. Or, if you don't like the idea of little white lies, consider this remark that I heard in a sermon years ago, when the media was snooping around looking for a scandal. The pastor said that if we were approached by the media, that we did not have to lie. You just do not have to tell everything you know. This may test your diplomacy skills. Carry on, soldier.

Don't go too long without addressing gallbladder removal. Mine burst when was 21, and the gallstones went everywhere. The doctor said he had to go fishing around to get them all. I also was at risk for widespread internal infection. I was in the hospital eleven days. If you do not want to switch surgeons right now, then plan your surgery about two months out after you have some strength to keep you going. The surgeons do not cut you half into like they did back then, It is done laparascopically. I am telling you from experience that if your gallbladder goes into spasms, you need to do something about it with a sense of urgency. It's too bad that you surgeon won't do it.

Many of us here on the forum have been lifetime dieters like me, trying every reinvention for weight loss. I have been dieting since my last pregnancy in 1978. Getting the sleeve was the hardest decision I ever made, but I do not regret it. I applaud all of our younger weight loss brothers and sisters for nipping the weight loss / regain cycle in the bud. Being as you're an adult, your parents do not get to make or influence your health care decisions anymore. If family and friends cannot be supportive, then you need to excuse yourself from their presence for a while. This IS NOT the easy way out.

My paternal grandparents raised 12 children during the depression. Every time my family went out to the farm to see her, there was always plenty of homemade food on the table. The ritual went like this, oddly enough: The grown-ups ate first, and then the kids. We did not get to choose what went on our plates. Grandma plated our food, and we had to finish what we started even if it was food we did not like, such as liver or spinach wilted in vinegar. Is it any surprise that my grandparents,parents, most aunts and uncles, and nearly all of my 60 some cousins were obese? In the family history, there are many obese adults who suffered an untimely death in their late 40's and early 50s, including my oldest brother who died of a heart attack at the age of 47. He weighed 420 pounds. My mother died at the age of 67 of an abdominal aeortic anurysm. She was 5'2" and weighed 320 pounds. One of the reasons that I decided to sleeve is that as I neared my 62 birthday last year, I realized that I was follwing down my mother's path and need to divert to a healthier path with haste, I do blame a lot of this on the clean plate regiment. We could not have dessert unless we cleaned our plates. So, we finished up too much food on the plate (always including potatoes, bread, mac and cheese) and then had cake or pie or ice cream. No wonder. Geeze Louize. My sleeve has liberated me from cleaning my plate, since I can't just shovel in what I want and then have dessert. Just because there is food in the fridge and pantry, does not mean I have to eat it all. My sleeve, bossy bossy bossy Miss Sleeve insists that I weigh and measure and don't eat beyond capacity. I love bossy Miss Sleeve. She keeps me on the straight and narrow path to good health.

Behavior like his is a cycle. Things are o k for a while, then you do something to piss him off (never his fault for choosing to be pissed of for something you said or did - because nothing is ever his fault. Then when you leave or threaten to leave, he is all sorry and buys you presents or flowers and says his rotten response will never happen again. Then he wants you to prove to him that you still love him, usually in some degrading way to put you in your place. Then things are smooth again for a while as long as he gets want he wants from you.......then you go and piss him off again (in his alternate reality) and the cycle starts over. So, do not listen to the whining and crying, and get your locks and telephone number changed. If he comes to harrass you at work or at a family or friend's house or threatens you in any way.....it is time from a restraining order. Just practicul advice just in case your situation goes there. It took me three times to get it right before I found a relationship with balance. If you were nearby, I would come over and give you a hug. Sometimes we just get tired of being strong, and need some shoulders to lean on.

Both my surgeon and my primary physician have been documenting skin issues with each visit. The bariatric physician has me using Gold Bond Medicated powder for under my belly hangover and under my breasts. My insurance with cover a panniculectomy two years out, if medical necessity can be proven. Howver, it will not cover a tummy tuck....so, just skin and no muscle work. Even on hot days in the summer, the powder helps.

Dear Saggy Ass Sisters, for so long we have taken snide comments without reacting or with a bucket of tears. I am hoping that with all of the other positive changes coming from weight loss, that I, too, will find my voice and speak-up like Chelenka just did. (What a great comeback. LMAO for me too!) I tell you what, my new saggy ass is a lot easier to manage than my old 53" belly.

David Stamps has a variety of DVD's with exercises that can be done sitting in a chair. In addition to Exercises for the Bedridden and Physically Challenged, he has Chair Aerobics, Chair Boxing, Chair Salsa, Chair Belly dance, Chair Circuit training, Chair Thai Chi and Chair Yoga. I have most of those and would give them an A+. I have a Zumba series but don't use it much because there is a lot of knee and ankle twisting involved.

Mine was seven months post-op for a lipid panel and a bunch of nutrients. All was good. My primary did some bloodwork at about three months, and that was only for a lipid panel and complete blood count.

My ultimate pain reference is when the morphine wore off after knee replacement surgery. In comparison, the pain from my sleeve surgery was minimal. I get much more grief from arthritis.

Every now and then I switch out my signature at the bottom of my posts. When I came across this quote by Thomas Edison, I immediately thought of our struggles with stalls. Here is my new signature for a while: Here is how I feel about all the different things we do to break stalls: "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Edison

1. Why would you love someone who treats you that way? 2. Why are you still there? 3. Watch the movie "Mother May I sleep With Danger" (with Tori Spelling) 4. Watch the movie "sleeping with the Enemy" (with Julia Roberts) 5. Read "Controlling People" (by Patricia Evans) and anything else by Patricia Evans You can order used books from Amazon, most at crazy reduced prices that come from Goodwill or are discards from libraries. I recently bought a book for one cent plus the standard $3.99 postage. I left a psycho-s**t head who was so controlling that I could not even take a local university course because he felt that he would have to sit out in the car and wait on me. Sounds like your fella wants you exclusively, but he doesn't want to be exclusive. Consider what's in it for you, and what's in it for him. I betcha the data falls strongly in his favor. Also, read anything on the cycle of abuse. Even if he is not hitting you, emotional abuse is still abuse. He is using you to meet his needs, but he is not giving anything back. You have clearly described a one-sided relationship. Run away as fast as you can, and don't look back.

Follow whatever your bariatric team told you. For myself, I started out with 1/3 of my Protein item (about an ounce if solid, like chicken breast) and 2 tablespoons of steamed veggie, and if I had room, 1/2 serving of fruit. Now that I am eight months out, I can comfortably eat 1/2 cup (or 2 ounces solid protein) and a little bit of veggie, like a few green Beans or couple of sprigs of steamed broccoli. Maybe at bedtime I will have 1/2 cup of yogurt with some berries. In between all of that, I am sipping all day. If I haven't met my protein goals the previous day, I will start my day with a Protein shake

Here is one of those instances where we are obligated to suggest that you call your bariatric team and ask them. That being said, I had that off-taste which went away when I completed some of my post-op meds.

You take this nice nap and then they wake you up and keep you in recovery long enough to determine if you will be o k enough to be taken to your room. I did not have the gas pains either, but boy was I thirsty. Take Chapstick. You will need it until they let you start sipping Water. My pain was not bad at all until the morphine wore off, and then it was only my biggest incision for a couple of days. They will probably give you more fluids than you can drink, but make the best of it. I took books, puzzles, and music, but mostly just slept. When I got home, I think I was only using hydrocodone just to help me get through the night for a couple of nights. Get up and walk about as soon as you can. When you get home, it will help to sleep elevated in your bed or in a recliner for a few days, so that getting up on your feet won't pull on your tummy so much.

I will do a happy dance for you!

You mean I am not the only one? Yeah, not so hungry during the day - easy to get queasy, but at night when I ought to be sleeping, that's when I want to be awake and hungry...like I am on my old third shift schedule from when I was working. I even use a sleep mask to help darken the room, but even if I go to sleep at 10pm, I will wake up an hour later and be awake most of the night. I try not to eat to the point of damage, but like last night I had 1/2 cup of yogurt with 1/4 cup of blueberries. And I keep sugar-free Jello in the fridge. Also, I stay away from bananas anytime after lunch, and go for things like a boiled egg. I keep a few of those on hand for hunger attacks. Seems like at night I can eat the things that would make me queasy during the day. I don't get it. I track my calories and am still keeping it around 800, and am pushing myself for 100 ounces of Water and 100 grams of Protein, but still, I seem to be on an inverted schedule. It's crazy.

Is this the only bariatric surgeon in your area that your insurance will cover? If your insurance has other providers, you should probably check around on some others....Maybe at a teaching hospital. My surgeon developed the bariatric program at the Cleveland Clinic, and then came to the Loyola University Medical Center, where my primary had referred me. He developed the bariatric program at Loyola and teaches both bariatric and robotic surgery. By all means, look for someone with positive credentials and plenty of experience in bariatric medicine. Could your primary physician recommend someone else?

I had read on here about shoulder gas being caused by the residual CO2 rising up to the shoulder area. I asked my surgeon at my final pre-op visit how he manages the shoulder gas, and he said he will extract as much as possible. I was so glad I asked, because I did not have that problem at all. Your doctor may look at you with the side eye, but it's worth asking. I agree with the recliner suggestion. Because of spinal issues, I have one of those lifting recliners...oh so handy. The only postop pain I had was from the largest incision, and using the recliner helped to reduce opportunities to pull on it. Since I am retired, I did not have to worry about going back to work or having toddlers around the house. But I will tell you that for the first couple of weeks, I did tire very easily. I would be puttering along and then suddenly hit the wall. I was on full liquids the first week home, and then on purees the second week. I tried baby food, but it was easier and cheaper to just put a meal in the blender with some broth and make my own. The third week I was able to move on to soft foods, and by the end of the fourth week I was allowed to have solid food. So yeah, take a week minimum, but I would recommend two, just to get your bearings and see how your recovery is going to go. For sure, Water is just weird post-op. It needs to be infused with Crystal Lite, or Gatorade or Vitamin Water or something. Good luck with your surgery. let us know how it goes.

Is more...600, 800, 1000 calories.....?

My experience was similar, mid back around the left under my arm into my ribs, also covered part of my upper arm. This was not long after a knee replacement. It hurt like hell long after the rash was gone. I had some dark days where I just wanted to walk off a cliff on into a swamp to end the pain. I cannot imagine feeling like that and going into a bariatric surgery which requires such intense work post-op to keep up nutrition. I feel for you. You may indeed want to postpone for a bit until you feel better.

Before you spend any money, go to www.marksdailyapple.com (Mark's Daily Apple) and see if their approach to body weight work outs might be a suitable option for someone who would just as soon spare the cash for something else. Just a thought.....

I was cleared for whole foods at 4 1/2 weeks, but waited until two months to try some things. I could have chili from the start, and even salsa, but if I eat a fresh tomato, I have to peel the skin off. I can eat broccoli, but cauliflower left me in miserable discomfort for over four hours. I have not tried it since. I can pretty much eat any kind of meat I want, so long as it is moist. Fish is hard for me to get past the taste buds, and I used to be a tuna salad freak.....loved the stuff. Filets have to be very moist. I have not even tried corn yet (8 months out) just because of the carbs. Cherries and berries are no problem, but I really have to watch quantity. sugar free Jello has to be my fruit substitute most of the time. I love watermelon, but it does not love me so much...I get bloated. Just today I had a cucumber/tomato/onion salad with my lunch, but no lettuce. I have tried fresh spinach, endive, iceberg, no happiness there it will be a long time before I try them again.

You will like it here. Except for the two days that I was at the hospital for my sleeve, I have checked in on the forum every day. It kinda grows on you.

You look like you are doing well. By the way, my feet shrunk, too.