MWilliams42

[font=georgia,serif][size=2]When I was younger I was quite athletic and had a very toned figure. Being an athlete has its ups and downs, the up side is you are always working on your body, and making it the best it can be. The down side is you learn what to eat to give you energy, you eat in large portions because you know you are going to burn those calories off in no time. Well, unfortunately I discovered I love to eat, and in large amounts, that part of being athletic stuck with me. My first pregnancy I gained 65 pounds, and was already 40 pounds heavier than I had ever been in my life. I was 21 at the time and freaking out because I was the size of a hippo. I thought, to myself, I'm never going to lose this weight. I started to become completely discouraged. I had lost a little bit of weight after having my 9 pound 1 ounce son! Well a couple months after that great life moment I found out I was pregnant AGAIN, I cried and cried, I was still tipping the scales at 250 or more. I know to some people that is on the smaller side, but for my body that is close to a size 24 or 26 and I had never been that big. After the birth of my second 9 pound 7 ounce son, I dove head first into post partum depression. My marriage was getting rocky, stress had kicked in and I didn't know which end was up. So instead of focusing on me, or my marriage I focused on being a mom and food became my comfort. Food never judged me, it just called my name and I came running. When the boys were 2 and 3 I discovered Phen Fen diet...oh boy I thought...and YES it worked, I lost 100 pounds in a very short time, but over time learned that it affected some valves in my heart. Even though I qualified for personal settlement from that lawsuit I still would have taken it again if someone offered it to me, I guess that sounds sick, but it's the truth. I felt I had no other option, my thyroid was GONE, stress ate it out of my body and my metabolism that once burned what I ate, did nothing. So here we are 8 years ago, I found out I was pregnant at 35 years of age, WHAT???? This couldn't be happening, I took 3 pregnancy tests and discovered they had to be broken...but I had another son, 9 pounds 13 ounces! Yes, folks, they just kept getting bigger! Plus he was A MONTH early!!! I developed diabetes with this last pregnancy which I found out if runs heavily in my family (mom's side) I was on 4 shots a day, and weekly doctor appointments to make sure the baby was alright. Every time I went I would get the lecture about denying myself what I was craving and to lose weight, yet no one would tell me that the insulin I was taking contributes to hunger. It was a catch 22, and I was mad. I cried a lot because I was told I had gestational diabetes and got yelled at every week, and no one offered any advice other than keep you mouth closed and don't eat. Once the baby was born within a month the diabetes went away, but they said it would resurface at some point. I had lost a little bit of weight but my life was chaos and my relationship with my son's dad was rocky for 5 years. I moved to Branson about 5 years ago, and thought, YES...a new start! Right before I moved I was told my diabetes was back WITH A VENGANCE. I was put on oral meds and left to fend for myself. So I moved and for a year or so decided to pretend my diabetes wasn't real. Denial never helps, never. I didn't know it but I was getting really sick, I lost 50 pounds, the weight was coming off quickly, but I was soon told that was BAD weight loss...my body was going into Keacitosis(I think that's right) if I would have waited any longer my kidneys may have started to shut down. So came the lecture from the Dr. I cried and cried, my sugars were over 500 and my A1C was 13, he said any higher and I could have gone into a coma. The only thing I thought was good was my weight loss, I was in such denial about everything else, I thought, WOW...I am finally loosing the weight everyone told me to. Well...they put me on oral meds, those didn't help at all...then they started with insulin, one shot, then 2 shots, then a 24 hour insulin plus a shot to help my pancreas do something with the sugars, and 3 other insulin shots, plus the oral meds. So...the weight quickly came back on, and I became away that no matter what I did, the weight was coming on, I ate little portions, everything upset my stomach, still I gained weight. I learned about the sleeve gastrectomy procedure through my work as a Patient Advocate. I really wanted to do this, I was so tired of all the shots, all the weight, and seeing "Morbidly Obese" on all my medical records. So I had the surgery on July 22, 2013. My relationship with food is changing, I'm working on my mind change as well, and I'm learning to occupy my hands with things other than food. I'm ready for this. I don't want my sons to have to go through what I did just to get healthy. At this point I'm down to one shot a day, and no oral meds other than my thyroid bill and my vitamins and suppliments. I'm so thankful to have been given this opportunity at LIFE, and I'm ready to use this tool to the best of its ability! [/size][/font]