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I have to tell you guys -- this is bizarre, but I'm actually doing ok all things considered. I'm feeling a little squirrley, but for the most part, I'm just excited it is almost here! For those of you who are behind me in terms of timing on this journey, here have been the most challenging parts of this process: 1. Making the decision. Until I literally put down money (I'm self pay), I was having a constant dialogue about "should I or shouldn't I." It was exhausting. 2. Mourning the food. I felt like a crazy woman for the 2 weeks leading up to my pre-op diet. I ate everything I could get my hands on. Seriously. I went to a different restaurant every night. I ate until I was sick. It was horrible. And it made me question EVERYTHING -- I kept saying to myself, "You are pathetic. If you cannot control yourself better than this, then surgery will never work for you." I now know that was just self-sabotage (as was the crazy behavior itself). 3. Giving up smoking and alcohol. These were a bit tough, but not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I just feel like if my entire life is changing, my entire life might as well change (if that makes any sense). No use holding on to other unhealthy coping behaviors. And what's the point of getting my health risks down with the surgery if I were going to continue to smoke? 4. Thinking too much about what my life will be life after this surgery. I know this is an important part of the decision making process because this surgery is irreversible and life-changing. That said, I think I over-scared myself. I keep forgetting that the person I am today does not have the same perspective as the person I will be after surgery. For example, right now, food is the center of my world. I can't imagine life without big plates of pasta, and ice cream, and steak, (etc). But once I get used to eating with the sleeve, I am confident that other things will fill in that void. I have faith that there is life on the other side of food addiction. Okay -- off to eat my last popsickle before I make an effort at sleep. See you all on the other side!!!!

Welcome! Troll around this board a bit and you'll find all kinds of good advice. Most of us have had to be on some kind of pre-op diet. Some of these are 4 weeks, some are 1 week, some are a few days. I can't speak for everyone, but my 1 week of pre-op diet = 5lbs. Diet was 4 protein shakes a day, plus broth, plus sugar free popsickles (and 64 oz of water). Good luck! 5 lbs will be easy!

Mine is at 9am. Nervous and excited! Are you guys sitting around trolling the board too? How in the heck are we going to sleep?!?!

I have a Mirena and am having surgery tomorrow. My sugeon ok'ed. Good luck to you!

We have the same thing at my work and I feel your pain. That said, you can do this!! I'm pretty competitive so one thing that helps me is to think of all the people in my life who have said I can't do it and I pretend all the people who are visiting the birthday food station are saying in their head, "She can't do it...she's going to break and eat." That motivates me to stay strong. (Kind of screwed up, I know...but whatever works lol!) Good luck! You'll be great!

Thank you so much for this inspiring post!

Hey girl! I had the same pre-op diet, only mine was 7 days. I failed on the first day, the second day, and the third day of my pre-op diet. On my Day 3 failure, I ate a pastry crisp. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then a PB&J with milk. Truly thought about cancelling my surgery because I felt so pathetic. I've posted on here ad nauseum about my struggle. Bottom line: On day 4, I stuck with it. I was MISERABLE. On day 5, I stuck with it and I was miserable again and foggy and cranky and headachy and hungry. On day 6 (today), I've stuck with it and I feel great! I swear I think it is getting detoxed from carbs. Before my pre-op, I was eating sugar like a maniac. Literally. Til I was in a food coma from sugar. The detox was HELL. But now that I'm a few days from my last sugar/carb, I don't have the cravings. I'm still hungry, but the intense cravings are completely gone. I know it sucks that you have a lot longer on the pre-op than I do, but I can promise you that it will get easier if you can just suck it up and get a day or two under your belt. A couple of things that helped me: I promised myself that before I broke the diet, I would (1) post a cry for help on here; (2) drink something and wait 30 minutes for responses; and (3) write down 3 reasons I decided to have the surgery. That helped. HANG IN THERE - you're experience is similar to many of us and, like the rest of us, you'll make it through! P.S. I refuse to believe that my struggle with the pre-op makes me less likely to succeed post-op. I may be wrong and, if I am, I will come back on here and be honest about it. P.P.S. I don't like the Premier shakes or the Muscle Milk ones. I really like the vanilla Lean Shakes from GNC. Also, you might try Isopure (also sold by the bottle at GNC so you can try one). Good luck and let us know how you do going forward! There is NO SHAME in struggling! The only shame is in giving up. And it does NOT sound like you are giving up! -Angela

I cancelled twice and am now going forward on Wednesday and feel comfortable and confident about my surgery. Although I still have moments of panic and "am I for sure about this," for the most part, I'm pretty calm about it now. In fact, as surgery gets closer, I get calmer. I think jitters and questioning are normal. I did go ahead and pay for my surgery (self pay) a week in advance so that I wouldn't back out again. Best of luck!!

My surgeon ok'ed me to travel (by plane) 10 days post-op. As someone already said, Dr. told me to walk around every 30-45 minutes if possible.

Also, how much Protein Powder with each cup of broth?? Thanks friends!

What works for me is to not eat the first bite of sugar. Moderation is bad advice for me. I cannot moderate -- 1 jelly bean is too many and a bag of jelly beans isn't enough (if that makes any sense...!). In other words, once I eat the sugar, there isn't enough sugar to satisfy me.

Telling a food addict to "just not eat" is about as dumb as telling an alcoholic "just don't drink." The dumbest advice I ever got was to moderate myself when it comes to sugar/sweets. I realize that many of you on this board can do that; I just can't. Once I start eating sweets/sugar, the cravings begin and I'm on a bender. So...for me "moderate" was the worst advice. I spent YEARS trying to moderate while I slowly put on 70 lbs!

Here's my experience: once I put any sugar in my body, the cravings begin and I'm a mess and a monster wanting the next fix. The book "Potatoes not Prozac" was great for me. The title is deceiving, I remain on Prozac and the book doesn't talk about eating carbs, other than to tell you that if you are sugar sensitive, carbs are BAD NEWS. Bottom line: It's not the bag of jelly Beans, it's the first one. If I can prevent the first one from going down, I'm good. Once I have the first one, there is a good chance I'm going to eat the whole bag and be looking for my next fix. The sleeve helps with that part - a bag of jelly beans + another fix won't fit! But it doesn't fix the mindf-ck of the cravings. So... not sure how helpful it is, but if you can just get one day under your belt of clean eating, the cravings WILL SUBSIDE. I promise you that is my experience. The less I eat sugar, the less I crave it. Moderation is NOT AN OPTION FOR ME (so, e.g., the 5:2 diet would be a total disaster for me!). Good luck! Let us know how you're doing and what helped/didn't help so that we can all benefit from an experience that most/all of us will have at some point or another. Best, Angela

Great post!!

Okay...so.... I have been HORRIBLE about the pre-op diet. Was supposed to start 7 days in advance. Cheated my way through the first three days, including one of my "old" binges, i.e., eat carbs until stomach hurts then go sleep it off in a food coma. I got on the "real" diet 2 days ago and IT DOES GET EASIER just like you guys told me! I actually feel pretty darn good this morning. Now...the caveat is the usual caveat on my blog...I'm always better in the morning. Still....this is huge progress. Also, all smoking cravings are gone and I'm not using any nicotine replacement (didn't want to get addicted to the gum - lol)! Another part of my experience that I thought I would share for those of you who are behind me in this process... As surgery gets closer, I actually am getting calmer. The 3 weeks prior to now, once I had my date, were pretty miserable. I truly went through a 3 week grieving period where I binged on foods and felt completely out of control -- all the worst parts of my food addiction. Spree, remorse, spree, remorse. I think it was a combination of two things: (1) the food funeral/electric chair eating effect; and (2) my nerves about the surgery (i.e., was I doing the right thing for the right reasons, was I really ready to change my entire life - quit smoking, quit soda, quit alcohol, and quit abusing food all at once??, would I be able to stick with my resolutions when in the past I never did, etc. etc. (these thoughts went on and on...). My pre-surgery craziness made me question again whether I was really ready for this. Now that I'm 2 days from surgery, it all feels bearable and I feel calm and confident. I will re-post this so that I can hear it again... I am not doing this for cosmetic reasons. This is not a vanity surgery. This is a necessary surgery to allow me the chance at a long, full life with my children. Even though my BMI is "only" 35 and I'm "only" 40, I have significant co-morbidities: sleep apnea, high cholesterol, PCOS, orthopedic issues. These will only get worse with time. And...as important to me.... I am SO EXHAUSTED from the food insanity. I spent so much time planning what I was going to eat, eating what I was going to eat, hiding what I was going to eat, feeling guilty about what I ate, trying to "make up" for what I ate by starving myself -- which started the whole insane process all over again with another binge. Although I know that this surgery isn't a magic bullet and that my head is going to have to change along with my habits, but I also believe that this is the first step toward sanity. Finally, for others who are Friends of Bill W., I will tell you that my program is really helping with this process. I remind myself that the 2nd step says that it is going to restore me to sanity. I keep repeating that. Take the action (the surgery), work the steps (my program), and be RESTORED TO SANITY. Now THAT is something to look forward to.... To me, this is even better than the 9th step promises! Okay...scrambling to finish up projects at work so I can have a little peace during recovery. Love to all, Angela

Can't wait to try it! Thanks!

I'm scheduled for Thursday and I know EXACTLY how you feel!!!! You basically summed up my past week. The emotions and wait of this plus the stress of the liquid diet have kicked my butt. When I'm doubting, this has helped me: There was a huge article in my local paper today (Kansas City Star) about the dangers of visceral fat. Visceral fat is the fat that we carry around our internal organs. (If you are considering sleeve surgery, trust me you have it). Reading the article was added motivation and comfort that I am making the right decision for myself and my children by having this surgery. I need to remember how dangerous it is to remain overweight. I get myself into trouble when I start saying "I don't care if I'm fat...I am used to not looking good and having to buy big girl clothes" and/or "Am I really going to self-mutilate because I don't have the willpower to lose the weight and keep it off?" This is not a cosmetic surgery for any of us. It is also not a quick fix. It is also not something that any of us took lightly. I don't know about you, but I've lost hundreds of pounds and gained hundreds of pounds before getting to this point. This is truly a chance at a long and healthy life vs. a life of heart problems, knee problems, other inflammatory disease problems, etc. We are doing this for the right reasons. And the risk of this surgery is less than the risk of gallbladder surgery or knee surgery (I looked it up to give myself some comparisons). You're going to do great and come through with flying colors and be SO glad you did it. You're almost there. Just hang in there for a few more hours. I always tell myself that I can do anything for 48 hours. Keep us posted! -Angela

August 19th-ers....I've been watching the clock on you guys - most of you should be out of surgery! HOORAY! Very excited for you! Let us know how you're doing!

Hello friends! Thanks to all who posted the kind, encouraging comments. I can't tell you how much it means - really helped snap me out of the funk. With the caveat that I'm always happier in the morning (vs. evening when I'm hungry and tired), I will say that today it all seems bearable. I stuck to the pre-op diet perfectly yesterday (although I had more than one sugar free popsickle...!). Today, I am committed to doing it again, no matter how hungry and headachy I get. If you guys can do this, I can do this too! In other news: I've been watching the Aug. 19 thread and it is so exciting to see those with whom you've been watching for the past week go through the process. They seem to all be nervous and excited. That's how I feel too -- I have to go to sleep 3 more times before it's time for the surgery. Can't get here fast enough as far as I'm concerned! Also, a shout out to all those who are on the other side of surgery and have posted their great results on the comments to this blog and on the larger forum. It is such an inspiration. Lastly, there was a huge article in my local paper today (Kansas City Star) about the dangers of visceral fat. Visceral fat is the fat that we carry around our internal organs. (If you are considering sleeve surgery, trust me you have it). Reading the article was added motivation and comfort that I am making the right decision for myself and my children by having this surgery. One recommendation to others who are nervous and always second guessing: remember how dangerous it is to remain overweight. I get myself into trouble when I start saying "I don't care if I'm fat...I am used to not looking good and having to buy big girl clothes." This is not a cosmetic surgery for any of us. It is truly a chance at a long and healthy life vs. a life of heart problems, knee problems, other inflammatory disease problems, etc. We are doing this for the right reasons. And the risk of this surgery is less than the risk of gallbladder surgery or knee surgery (I looked it up to give myself some comparisons). Okay, back to work. Feels good to post a positive blog entry! Have a great day, Angela

No sense lying on this blog. I went on a carb bender last night. I'm scheduled to be sleeved on Aug. 22 and am supposed to be on a liquid diet. Note: if you are thinking about posting a comment telling me that maybe I'm not ready for surgery (mentally or physically) or how dangerous this is, etc., please do us both a favor and refrain. Nothing you could say could make me feel worse than I already do. Not looking for excuses but instead explanations so that I don't let this happen again. I still have 4 days to eat clean before surgery. Here's what I discovered: The quitting smoking/drinking has been weighing on me. Those were two of my favorite coping mechanisms and they are gone. Yesterday, I took my son, daughter, and two of their friends to an amusement park for my son's birthday. I was exhausted. My brand new CR-V died on the way home from the park. I took the boys out for Steak and Shake dinner while I sipped water. All the sudden, an overwhelming feeling of aloneness and self pity snuck in. (I know...I know... I should be feeling GRATEFUL about the privilege of having this surgery). I ate a pastry crisp. Then another. Then another. Then another. Then a PB&J. Then drank some milk. It was HORRIBLE. It brought back all those feelings of the past 10 years of feeling completely out of control when it comes to food. For me, once I put carbs in my body, I am sunk -- the cravings are insane. So...I did what I've been doing for the past 10 years -- beat the absolutely hell out of myself mentally and woke up feeling absolutely defeated. Some lessons from the experience: 1. Don't let myself get too exhausted mentally or physically. I felt like I "had" to take the kids to the amusement park because it was my son's birthday, but I probably shouldn't have tried that under the circumstances. 2. I'm going to have to be super gentle with myself through this process. On the liquid part, I am consuming less than 700 calories per day. I'm also super emotional and on edge because of the surgery coming up. This all means that I need to slow down and cut myself some slack. Sit and watch TV. Troll the internet. Whatever...I don't have to clean, cook, run around town for these next few days. 3. In contrast to the "be super gentle," it's also time to get really firm about some things. It is time that I am going to have to exercise some discipline and self-control no matter how hard, how emotional, how much of a bad day I'm having. Food, smoking, and drinking aren't acceptable answers any longer. Period. That raises the issue of asking, "Ok, but as a practical matter, HOW am I going to do better?" I resolve to: a. Type a call for help on to this forum and wait 30 minutes before I eat. b. Drink a big glass of water, Isopure, or crystal light while I'm waiting. c. Make a list of at least 3 things that I will enjoy about being healthier. d. If I still feel like eating, chose something with no carbs and no sweetness. Here's to a diligent, self-controlled Sunday.... -Angela

Just wanted to chime in. I have posted very honestly on my blog about my cheating on the pre-op diet, the food funerals I had before the pre-op diet, and whether my inability to stick with pre-op diet meant that I'm not ready for this surgery. I have come to some peace. Many on this board have said they stuck with the pre-op diet to a "T." Others on here will suggest that if you can't stick with pre-op, you are less likely to be successful at post-op. For me, this surgery is a must - my BMI is 35, I have significant comorbidities (PCOS, high cholesterol, knee problems, sleep apnea). So I just have to have faith that I CAN DO THIS even though I didn't do the pre-op diet perfectly and, when I did do it perfectly, I felt like a crazy woman. As you said, if we didn't have food issues, we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. As a practical matter, here is what I did for those crazy "I can't do this moments." First, I stopped beating the absolute hell out of myself for being so pathetic. Then, I started looking at the reasons I was so out of control and why I cheated. I tried not to find excuses, but rather get to the bottom of what was sending me off the proverbial wagon so that I could save myself next time. What I found was that I've not nearly given myself enough "room" during this prep period. I have been so worried about not working AFTER surgery that I've been pushing myself harder now. That hasn't worked for me. The truth is that when I stick with the pre-op diet, it is like a true detox and it causes fatigue, headaches, crankiness. Add on surgery pre-jitters and it is a perfect recipe for my disasters. So.... trying to find my way into the solution, I came up with this resolution: 1. Next time I want to go off the diet, I will post a plea for help on this board; 2. I will drink a glass of crystal light or Water or something else to buy myself some time before I eat. 3. I will write down 3 reasons I am having this surgery. 4. I will try to get by with as little as I have to do until surgery. In other words, I won't kill myself at work, cleaning the house, chasing the kids, etc. For me, it is important to have "action" items. I am hopeful that these action items will help next time I'm tempted. I only have three more days til surgery. Surely I can suck it up and do that.... And I believe you can do it too! Keep the faith and remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place. Best of luck to you!

I think we all feel this way. I'm scheduled for Aug. 22 and it is really hitting home how much this is going to change my life and the way I deal with life. In my down moments, I remember all the reasons why I made this decision. I remember that this is not a cosmetic procedure but one to save my life. The latest research says that 1 in 5 obese people die premature deaths. I also remind myself that I did not enter this decision lightly. I thought long and hard about the pros and cons and I decided it was the right choice for me. I cannot allow my emotions to make me second guess my decision all the time. It will absolutely exhaust me to do that. And I'm exhausted enough already during this pre-op diet lol. Best of luck to you! Angela

Today is my last day of smoking. It is a nasty, smelly, expensive, unhealthy habit that I will be so glad to be rid of! I feel the same way about this food addiction. I'm so ready to make this change. In many ways I wish I could hibernate for these next two weeks and wake up with surgery behind me. But I need to remember that this part of the process is really important too. It is allowing me to really be aware of how big a role food (and cigarettes) play in my life. This sounds horrible to admit, but I can't imagine a life without smokes and platefuls of food (and raw cookie dough, etc). That's when I remind myself about the magic of this process - I absolutely believe that there is a happier, healthier life after food and cigarette addiction -- there has to be! And I trust that there will be! I am confident I will look back on this and smile (with lots of compassion) at this person who has allowed food to rule her life. I am not a holy roller at all, but I really believe that there is a power greater than me that is guiding me through this process. Today I am going to trust the process that thousands of others have walked before me.

Doug From Michigan, GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!!! You'll do great! Let us all know how it goes! Sending good vibes, Angela from Missouri

Just thought I'd let you know that, for me, the scope was absolutely no big deal. I was worried about it too and honestly the worrying was the worst part. Once you get there, they put you to sleep and BOOM it's over with. The chances of them finding something that would delay your surgery are very slim. Keep the faith - it's all good!