Mollz

Yesterday I had my two little appointments for the month.
 
My nutritionist said I'm doing really well. I've lost 5lbs this month, with no exercise ( still on restriction from my PCP ). 5lbs!! That's nothing to most of the people around here, but to me it's a very good sign. For the last year I've been dieting and exercising and my body has been VERY resistant to let go of any weight. For some reason, this time, it's working. I was afraid my metabolism was so broken I'd be one of those people that basically doesn't lose at all. *whew*
 
Back to my appointment: I showed her my MFP tracking, she was pleased to see my numbers, and that I'm being thorough. I'm just happy to have found a system that works for me. Last month's goal was to stay away from fried foods. She labeled me a 'success' after I told her that French fries no longer taste good, they're just grease sticks to me. This month's goal is to try and work on my sweets problem. I admit, I'm a sweets junkie. Growing up, we always had cake or cookies or bars of some kind in the house, plus sweet things like granola bars and chocolate sauce for ice cream. There is ALWAYS ice cream at their house. My dad used to have a bowl every night just before bed. We all would.
 
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not blaming my parents for my weight problem. Yes, they've played a hand in it. When your 8 yr old says she's not comfortable in her body, please don't tell her "you're the only one who can change that". My parents are both obese. I have two sisters, one is severely obese, and the other one is a genetic mutant. That's the only explanation as to how she's 5'10'' tall and only weighs about 190. Don't misunderstand, she's the fattest thin person I know. She has very little muscle, no strength, and she sits down and eats a bag of potato chips and a container of ice cream for dinner. She just has that magical metabolism that keeps the weight off. Freak.
 
So goodbye, sweets. You've done nothing for me until this point except medicate the ache in my chest that you're partially responsible for. If anyone has read this, and has battled a sweets problem, do you have any pointers on how to move past it? Tricks you used to help curb cravings? I'm practicing more mindful eating, so that should help some. I've also started to have hard candies instead of cookies/treats in the house. They last a while in my mouth, and leave me feeling like I've had something sweet. Two of them and I'm pretty satiated.
 
Psych follow-up went very well. She said it looks like I'm in a really good place as far as my outlook and expectations for surgery. I'm hoping to lose more weight than the goal my team has given me, but I think that's okay. I'm hoping, but realistic about the statistics. Honestly? Even if I only lose to their goal, I will be VERY happy with myself and my surgery. I wouldn't be disappointed in the least! The biggest challenge I face right now is balancing school, doctor's appointments, work, and diet prep/surgery-related stuff. In the last two weeks I've had 9 doctor's appointments. Not all of them are surgery related, but let's just say my life is a little hectic right now.
 
I feel really good about how the appointments went. We scheduled my next nut appointment, and then the final one (which has to be with a nurse practitioner). Things should be all wrapped up and ready for 'team review' by November 5th. The dietician seemed hopeful that they'd be able to get me in before the end of the year.
 
2014, I'm going to make you my b***h.

I called my claims administrator today, I was starting to get panicky about the timeline, and someone offered me some solid advice and calmed me down until I could call.
 
I'm very concerned about being able to have my sleeve done before the end of the year. Effective January 1st, my insurance will change, and I will lose my bariatric surgery coverage. I started this process officially end of July, but had seen my PCP in June and July to try and see what could be done about my weight.
 
So, I called.
 
We rearranged my appointments a little bit to get about another week squeezed into my timeline. I'm up for team review the 25th of September, from there, I schedule my consultation with the surgeon. I'll have two more visits to meet insurance requirements, the last one is on November 1st. After my appointment I call this gal back and she submits everything to my insurance. She said it should take a week, but we'll have an answer by November 8th.
 
After that, it's just a matter of pre-op, and scheduling surgery. Could be all said and done as early as December 6th. SQUEE

I was born a healthy baby on March 30, 1973. I weighed 8lbs, 11 oz and was about 21 inches long. In first grade, I weighed 70 lbs. In 5th grade, 120. By the time I was a junior in high school, I weighed 206 lbs. I was 5'4" tall. It's not a sedentary lifestyle that led me to be a heavy girl. Lord knows I was active...riding bikes, playing tag, being the only girl among a ton of boys took a lot of energy if you wanted to have something to do besides watch TV. I swam, I ran, I spent years in the marching band huffing and running and carrying instruments of various weights. Yeah, I was active. But I ate. I snuck food, I binged, I stole food from our pantry. Cookies and candy were my favorite. I would eat 3 or 4 pop tarts for breakfast, finding it odd that m friends only ate 1. I drank milk and soda. I would get ice cream from the ice cream man, hide to eat it then go inside to eat dinner. I remember drinking a 2 liter bottle of coke between my grandmother's house and mine. 5 doors down. I was 10. When I got into middle school, I realized I didn't dress the way my friends did. I dressed in the "women's department" becuause the Juniors department clothes didn't fit. I remember crying with my mom in the kitchen one night because kids laughed at me for using a diaper pin to hold the seam of my pants closed. I remember being teased for having breasts in 4th grade. When I joined the marching band in 9th grade, Mom took an old pair of her slacks and added the stripe for the uniform on each leg so I would look like the other kids. When I went to Europe in 1990, she altered my marching uniform by adding gussets in the torso & thighs so a mens' XL jumpsuit would fit. No one knew but me, but that was enough. None of that stopped me from eating. At that time, my afterschool snack, before band, orchestra, jazz band, choir or drama club practice was a bottle of orange soda & 2 king size packs of peanut butter cups. Fruits & veggies? a rarity in my diet because I was rarely home to eat dinner.
 
Nothing seemed to take away my need to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter what or when it was. Food has been a major part of my life. A way of life. My life has revolved around food for most of my life. I have really needed to find a way to stanch the flow of food. What would the breaking point be? Insulin? Nah...blood pressure? Nope. High Cholesterol? Oh no. Knowing how rampantly heart disease runs in my family and that my own father had a stroke at 17 didn't stop me.
 
In 2005, my brother & sister in law blessed me with my oldest niece. I wanted to live for Emma. Still, I shoveled food in. In 2010, I became an aunt again. As I sat and held Caroline, I knew I needed to do something, so I joined a gym and would go almost every day. I joined weight watchers and attempted to stick to it. I herniated 3 discs in my back in 2011. Stopped going to the gym, which wasn't that difficult since I had stopped going so faithfully, and ate like it was my last meal.
 
On January 2 of this year, during a visit to my endocrinologist, there were 2 words next to my name I never associated with my name. MOrbid Obesity. It was right then and there I made the decision to make the change.

Well, this is embarrassing to admit, but for the past 2 years I've had to sit down to pee. At some point my gut and the fat pooch above my junk got too big and it was a real hassle (and messy) to use the urinals. So it was just easier and cleaner to sit on the toilet.
 
So it was a happy surprise when I realized yesterday that I could use the urinals again. My job requires a dress shirt.
 
I hated having to drop trou, tuck my shirt tale back in, and fight with my belt every time I went to the bathroom.
 
Now I can go back to hosing down the back of the urinal and destroying the cigarette butts at the bottom. :-P
 
P.S. They must think guys are pretty dumb around here. I saw a sign above the urinal that read, "Please don't eat the big white mint!"