endless80

Congrats! Glad to see you're doing so well. Keep it up!

Good morning gorgeous! You're right, there is no real "rule" to any of this. Everyone is different. Every surgeon instructs people to do what they think is best. Sometimes its sound advice, sometimes I'm like "whoa" when I see people post some of the crazy stuff they have to do.

Mine required nothing but liquids for 2 days before the surgery to clean me out so he could simply DO the surgery. No post op diet required. I guess that's why when someone says "OMG, I drank nothing but liquids for a week but ate a double quarter pounder with cheese with extra bacon and a side of crisco that doubled as ketchup" I don't get terribly judgy about it because once you're sleeved you can kiss that behavior goodbye for at least a year.

It makes me uncomfortable, and let me tell you why... When I started this journey there was a series of events that triggered a shift in the way I thought about gastric surgery. A few years ago I had a friend who died from complications of Gastric Bypass. It turned me off to it completely. I lived with that for years and as I was creeping up above 360 pounds and I felt like I had been on some sort of a diet for the last 15 years of my life. I thought about my weight constantly. I was in deep DEEP denial of reality. The reality was that I was OBESE. I was 6'2 and 365 (my highest) pounds. It was an ongoing frustration where I would take 2 steps forward and 3 steps backwards when it came to food. I simply could not find balance. I was lost in a sea of 'do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that' when it came to healthy food choices. I was like a tennis ball just bouncing back and forth on a very large court. Paleo, low carb, low fat, 5:2, vegetarian, vegan, rice and chicken breast, Healthy Choice meals everyday, multiple gym memberships over the years, $200 trips to Whole Foods for a WEEK of groceries, juicing... I'm sure some of you can relate. Then one day, a coworker came back from a leave of absence and she looked amazing. I walked by her and whispered in her ear that she looked incredible. That innocent gesture would be the starting point that would change my life forever. About 6 months to a year after that another coworker came back from an extended leave (I work in a department with a lot of people so someone leaving for a while is not terribly noticeable until they come back) and she looked AMAZING. She had lost quite a bit of weight. What I didn't know was that these girls we're very close friends and they had both gone to the same surgeon. I approached her in the break room and asked her how she lost her weight and she told me she doesn't tell a lot of people but she had the Gastric Sleeve done. I had never heard of it before. I had only heard of the gastric band and RNY. She told me that she had an amazing surgeon and that she was the happiest she had ever been before in her entire life. It was yet another domino falling in my decision to get the surgery. So I thought about it some more, went through the normal "I'm gonna try to lose this weight on my own one last time" kind of thing and I gave myself a time frame of 4 months to lose 40 pounds due to a flight I was scheduled to take and I was petrified I wouldn't fit in the seat and be able to buckle the seat belt. About 2 weeks before the trip I had only managed to lose 10 pounds and I made my decision to seriously start researching and initiating the process of my gastric sleeve. I actually had my partners approval and support which was SO IMPORTANT to me so I booked the seminar and the two surgeons who perform the surgery's came in and explained all of my options to a small group of us. I felt like I was in a room full of lost souls. The underlying sadness in the room was palpable but so was hope for a better future. Once that was over I waited to schedule the first consult with the surgeon till after my trip. Well I am happy to report that I was able to fit on the flight and not weigh the plane down to the runway, thankfully. And on that trip I started telling those that we're close to me. Well to make this long story short when I got back it took me 3 months to finish the requirements for my insurance to get the surgery. In that time I discovered this forum (quite possibly the BEST resource I had for knowledge) and started mentally preparing myself for surgery. I knew there was complications but I also knew that I would be okay. I knew I was young and healthy and if I was ever going to get the surgery than getting it now at 33 was my best chance for a complication-less surgery. So I went for it. I trusted my surgeon and I bypassed my fear and jumped in head first. I was ready for change. At that time I had no idea what form that change would take. I was very transparent about my decision to get the surgery. I didn't mind telling folks, especially if I thought it would help them. Well, when I came back from my leave (30 days), I had lost about 45 pounds since anyone had seen me. A coworker, not unlike myself started taking notice. She is a friend, a wonderful woman who was just so interested in the whole process. I explained to her that I had little to no complications and that I felt great. She was fascinated just like I was. She had another friend who worked in a surgeons office that performed these surgeries so she decided to go with them instead of my surgeon. They seemed to streamline the process much differently that my surgeons office did. It's like they pushed her through SO FAST. What took me 4 months only took her 1 month and her surgery was scheduled. She was so happy and even though I had some reservations about her process compared to mine I kept them to myself because once you get into that head space you have blinders on. I couldn't blame her, I did the same thing. I was happy for her. Then she had the surgery. I kept in contact with her through her surgery and stay in the hospital. The complications started almost immediately. She failed the upper GI because of the swelling, fluids would sit in her esophagus for a minute before it drained into her stomach. She was in a lot of pain. Almost 4 weeks out she is still in a lot of pain and can barely eat, fluids still taking their time going into her stomach because of the swelling which should have gone down weeks ago. I referred her to this group to check out the 'Complications' section and talk to folks who are having the same (or similar) issues. She can barely eat, drink and I am sure very scared and feeling isolated because of her complications. Plus she had issues with the company who handles our leave and she was only able to be out for 3 weeks. This is crazy because she IS NOT healed yet and her surgeons office didn't extend it. This makes me so mad. She has to WORK, in an office, and be productive while she can barely drink anything and is suffering and out of pain meds. I think I am going to fill my final 2 liquid pain meds that I didn't take for my own surgery and give them to her. I will NEVER recommend this surgery to anyone ever again. It's a shot in the dark if you will recover the way you're supposed to. I will tell people I had this surgery and show them my very obvious progress but the phrase "you should look into it" will never cross my lips again. Because the truth of the matter is, you never know. And I refuse to my the catalyst for someone ruining their life when my intentions were the complete opposite. Sorry this was so long. Your thoughts?

One of the things that I will always remember is that old expression...There is always someone who stands out in your mind forever...Well I am going to be that patient for my surgeon....He has taken a personal interest in my welfare and is constantly looking out for me....When I went septic, his personal nurse told me later on that he sobbed like a baby....this is not a job to him, this is his baby...He could make tons of money on other surgeries but he feels that the abuse and self loathing that obese people get and feel is not worth their lives if he can do something about it....i admire him for that and was treated like a queen by his personal staff.... They see me coming and there is all smiles and sheer happiness to see me....That is the way they should all be with any surgery....Do it because they want to help people......not make money..you know!!!!!!!!!! You have one of the most incredible stories of anyone I've ever heard on these boards. In fact, when I was talking to my friend and telling her to come to these boards for some guidance I was in the back of my mind hoping she would find your story because you have been through hell and your attitude about it is so inspiring to people. Especially if they're going through even a little bit of what you went through. Thank you RJ for shining your light our way.

You're right, there is a lot of bad information floating around regarding this. Recently I saw a picture of a stomach that was sleeved 5 years out and it was just stretched a little bit and that's to be expected. I always just assumed the reason we still have to watch what we eat is because after a certain amount of time our metabolism changes and adapts to how little we can now eat. Even 1, 2, 3 - 5 years out.

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your responses. I really want to simply open a dialog about this because it's a reality that some of us around here face and as this surgery gains more and more traction will become more and more common. Someone posted above that their surgeon did not sell this surgery to them. I can unfortunately report that my surgeons did (and they're fantastic surgeons) but at the end of the day that is their livelihood and by the time I showed up their practice was already a well oiled machine. There were times I felt like they were herding us in like cattle. And I imagine that is how a successful surgeons office operates (literally and figuratively) but I've also noticed that this practice is a cash cow and a lot of less qualified and less knowledgeable surgeons are jumping on board. I think this is the case with my friend and now she is paying the price. I just hope her price is not an ongoing battle and that life becomes easier for her soon. I love reading all of your stories, there are some amazing people who frequent these boards and I am grateful for all of you.

Good luck Idlewood4! It's been a long journey for you so far, great story. I wish you a quick, as pain-less as possible and most importantly an effective surgery.

YES! Even by sleeve standards that's insane. What does your partner think about all of it? Is he being nice? Girl I spoke too soon! I fit nicely into a size 40 tonight. YAY!!

YES! Even by sleeve standards that's insane. What does your partner think about all of it? Is he being nice? Well about a week and a half ago I passed him in weight. He said he's a little jealous but has been so supportive of me. So I am really supportive of him. He lets me handle the food and has been eating much less. We share food a lot, especially when we go out.

Another thing you will probably do is when you fix your plate of food, it'll take you a while to eat it. Even the small amount you fix yourself. At least it does for me. I'll make a plate and it takes me an hour and a half to eat it. So that holds hunger off longer. I've become a professional grazer.

And when do we see pics of the man that lost 70 lbs in like, five minutes?? Pics soon, within the week. I went from a size 50 pants to a size 42. Isn't that INSANE?!

Oh that large incision site is the worst! It took 2 weeks for that to stop screaming at me. Especially when I stood up. Some say a pillow but that didn't work for me. Holding it in with my hand helped when walked... but good old fashioned patience will work the best.

Hunger is so different for me after being sleeved. It doesn't feel the same way that it used to. It's not a need to fill up like it was before. It's more like a nudge from my sleeve that it would like some food now. "I'm here, empty. Let's start thinking about what you're gonna feed me" I'm one of those weirdo's who drinks when I eat (it's more like sips to cleanse the pallet) and I still only eat/need 1/4 of what I ate before and sometimes less.

Lol!! Oh I don't know, there are parts of me that are still very round You look fantastic though. You're doing such a great job.

Sounds delish. 6 weeks sounds fine for this kind of food. Just eat slow and chew really well.

Congrats! It only gets better from here. Sounds like you're doing a fantastic job already.

And by "well rounded" I mean knowledgeable and willing to experiment with new flavors. lol

Your food always looks amazing. Your family is lucky to have such a well rounded cook in the house.

^^^ Let me clarify above. If you're Actually I don't think everyone cheats on their pre-op. Many of us didn't. My point is, some of us never had a pre-op diet and we turned out just fine. However, if you're on a pre-op diet because you need to shrink your liver down or stabilize blood sugar that's a different ballgame. Every surgeon is different. I wouldn't stress myself out over it if you cheat and jump back on track (that's really what I ment to say above). There are no real set of rules to follow when it comes to this because everyone has different experiences. All we can do is share our experiences and let you make up your mind what is best for you personally.

I will be unpopular when I say this but who cares? I was 360 pounds before my surgery. I required no pre-op diet except 2 days of liquids before the surgery day and Milk of Magnesia. I had no complications and in 10 weeks have lost 70+ pounds. Everyone cheats on their pre-op. And why not? You're never going to be able to eat like that again after the surgery. Live it up now. Just my 2 cents.

Exactly! I feel the same way. In all honestly, I didn't start liking my sleeve till about a month and a half in. I got depressed after the surgery because this new way of life was hoist onto me so quickly and permanently. I had to adapt, and I did, and I will some more. This is kind of the dark under belly of surgeries like this that a lot of people don't talk about. When someone asks me about it now I tell them my story (much briefer than above) and I also make sure I let them know that this surgery isn't for everyone and let me tell you why... x, y, z.

I think a lot of it has to do with your mind set as well. It was strange because I just "knew" I would be okay. It was instinct for me. I had envisioned exactly how I was going to feel when I got out of surgery and how I was going to recover before I had it. I made up my mind that I was going to be successful before I even began and I think that is so important on this journey. Especially, and you'll understand what I mean when I say this about 3-5 weeks in, every single day can be different. You'll experience different things and feel different things. One week you'll be like "screw carbs!" and the next week you're calling people carb nazi's because the idea of not eating a sandwich again in life is disturbing (just do a search under my name.. it's tragic. Laura can vouch for that... lol).

What an amazing gift you've been given! Something very similar happened to me recently with a Grandfather. I thought all of mine had died off and then due to a twist of events it turns out I had a living on all the way across the country.

You always put things into perspective for me. Yes, it was a long ass post but I was holding it in and I needed to purge a little. Maybe I should start a blog. I felt like my process happened a little more organically. I am always willing to show people my progress and how this surgery has and is working very well for me because I now have a sense of balance in my life when it comes to food (even though I do eat crap sometimes) but I don't think I can, in good conscience, recommend to someone that this surgery is a good idea and that they should check it out. A lot of that is because I feel like I was lucky. I feel like everyone's experience is different and I'm just afraid that my recommendation could lead to someone making decisions that affects the rest of their lives negatively.