Madam Reverie

Aww, you look lovely together. My man likes chunkier monkeys. But then, he fell in love with me - for me. I have often asked him about how he feels about my losing weight. He has often replied 'look at the smile on your face, that's all I care about'. Accompany this with his infatuation with patting my bottom.... I can only assume he's still happy! If you're worried, talk to your man honestly and openly. I wish you the best of luck x

Who was the 'woman' who said that to you? <feeling angry on your behalf>

Aww, you look gorgeous. Congratulations on your success and most importantly, your wedding. May you have many many happy years together

Yeah! Lets get angry at 'the system'. I love getting angry at the system, me

Head down, grit your teeth and take this monster on! Enjoy the meds, walk a lot, sip Water a lot, take a lip-balm, take comfortable PJ's with you, slippers, deodorant/perfume (that made me feel like a human being) breathe and relax. You got this, Sista See you on the losers bench! x

Is it fizzy? Might make your stomach a bit gurgly, but if you take a PPI before it, it might provide a bit of a barrier. Failing that, a bit of gaviscon liquid should do the trick before consumption. On first response, if it is fizzy, I would drown it in Water and make it 'flat'. If you're worried, maybe an alternative could be some tylenol / cough syrup and something mentholated like peppermint tea to give you some vapours? Limit the sugar content as this can make your cough worse. I'm sure for one night it won't be the end of the world, as long as your stomach is okay and your symptoms are temporarily soothed. If the doctor is genuinely concerned and thinks you have a full infection, he'll be throwing steroids, an inhaler, antibiotics and all sorts at you to move the cough on and quickly. Sorry you feel miserably unwell. Hope you feel better soon

Same here.. gut wrenching badness...

The absolute best of luck winging its way to you

i can't do battered fried stuff.. I'm kinda glad about that, too... Else I'd be eating deep fried snapper or cod... all... day... long...

'tis yummmmmmmy

I'm 15 weeks out and I still burp like a trooper. Its also the same when I lie down, even if its a very long time after food. It's something I and my partner have become accustomed to... Burp-o-rama

I would suggest you slow down your intake. A little at a time. Let it settle and see where you go from there. If you're feeling bloated so soon out, that's not a good thing. It'll be like you're forcing it a bit. Just be careful, slow down and see how you go. No guilt required.

As long as you're not feeling sick, bloated, in pain, or you're forcing yourself? I don't see the problem?

Its not exactly low fat, but it tastes good and let me get some much needed nutrition in... Winner!

Shrimp (small and boiled, in a marie-rose sauce) was all good for me, too... Chew chew chew... avoids spew spew spew

'Course you can. As long as you know how many calories/sugars/fats are in it and you're not drinking it in preference to getting your Protein in and veggies in. i would say,however, food (protein) and Water, is the most important things for you to consume. If you're hitting those targets and your calorie targets, I personally couldn't see why not.. Although, a lot of caffeine is frowned upon because it dehydrates.

I have it once in a while.. The world won't stop revolving if you have it as the odd treat. Every day and you might end up clocking up the calories?!

I know how much each meat roughly gives you per serving and for the other stuff I'm not sure about, I look at the labels . Obviously the shakes and the bars are standard and I only eat one variety and drink one manufacturers product, so its pretty easy.

Misty - I count my Protein only. Everything else is in my head. I know if I hit my protein, everything else will fall into place. The only time I might say 'hmm... how much was that worth', is when I'm about to nibble on something a little calorie-loaded. I'll have a look at the packet, do a bit of maths and know where I have to be the next day. If I'm hitting minimum 42g on protein and at least 1,500ml minimum on Water - I feel fairly confident that I'm going to be good.

Looks, sadly, can make the difference between being 'successful' in life and being 'unsuccessful'. A gross unfairness of which I despised and felt incredibly frustrated by for the whole of my adult life... Now that I'm losing weight, will I be one of those people who do not spare those who have troubles a passing thought? Or even worse and if I ever have children, instill in them a silent prejudice against those who do not conform to the general notion of 'normalcy' or 'beauty' - because they're 'bigger'. It would break my heart if I identified any of that in myself. But would I automatically and unconsciously do it because I felt/feel so bad about my own body-image? I hope I will be one to challenge those notions. It saddens me so often when I meet women who are so down-trodden that they look in the mirror and see nothing more of themselves than wives, mothers, house-keepers - glorified servants. They believe that because they have a few lumps and bumps, that domestic mundanity is the best they can hope for in being their 'identifier' - their value as a 'whole' human being. To manage a household is no mean feat and should NEVER be underestimated. So why is it then, that women feel they have to be perfect in the house, look perfect on the outside but yet feel so insecure about their bodies and their persona as a whole. What will it take for us all to feel 'better' about ourselves?

Dear Mum, I was seven when I discovered that you were fat, ugly and horrible. Up until that point I had believed that you were beautiful — in every sense of the word. I remember flicking through old photo albums and staring at pictures of you standing on the deck of a boat. Your white strapless bathing suit looked so glamorous, just like a movie star. Whenever I had the chance I’d pull out that wondrous white bathing suit hidden in your bottom drawer and imagine a time when I’d be big enough to wear it; when I’d be like you. But all of that changed when, one night, we were dressed up for a party and you said to me, ‘‘Look at you, so thin, beautiful and lovely. And look at me, fat, ugly and horrible.’’ At first I didn’t understand what you meant. ‘‘You’re not fat,’’ I said earnestly and innocently, and you replied, ‘‘Yes I am, darling. I’ve always been fat; even as a child.’’ In the days that followed I had some painful revelations that have shaped my whole life. I learned that: 1. You must be fat because mothers don’t lie. 2. Fat is ugly and horrible. 3. When I grow up I’ll look like you and therefore I will be fat, ugly and horrible too. Years later, I looked back on this conversation and the hundreds that followed and cursed you for feeling so unattractive, insecure and unworthy. Because, as my first and most influential role model, you taught me to believe the same thing about myself. With every grimace at your reflection in the mirror, every new wonder diet that was going to change your life, and every guilty spoon of ‘‘Oh-I-really-shouldn’t,’’ I learned that women must be thin to be valid and worthy. Girls must go without because their greatest contribution to the world is their physical beauty. Just like you, I have spent my whole life feeling fat. When did fat become a feeling anyway? And because I believed I was fat, I knew I was no good. But now that I am older, and a mother myself, I know that blaming you for my body hatred is unhelpful and unfair. I now understand that you too are a product of a long and rich lineage of women who were taught to loathe themselves. Look at the example Nanna set for you. Despite being what could only be described as famine-victim chic, she dieted every day of her life until the day she died at seventy-nine years of age. She used to put on make-up to walk to the letterbox for fear that somebody might see her unpainted face. I remember her ‘‘compassionate’’ response when you announced that Dad had left you for another woman. Her first comment was, ‘‘I don’t understand why he’d leave you. You look after yourself, you wear lipstick. You’re overweight — but not that much.’’ Before Dad left, he provided no balm for your body-image torment either. ‘‘Jesus, Jan,’’ I overheard him say to you. ‘‘It’s not that hard. Energy in versus energy out. If you want to lose weight you just have to eat less.’’ That night at dinner I watched you implement Dad’s ‘‘Energy In, Energy Out: Jesus, Jan, Just Eat Less’’ weight-loss cure. You served up chow mein for dinner. (Remember how in 1980s Australian suburbia, a combination of mince, cabbage, and soy sauce was considered the height of exotic gourmet?) Everyone else’s food was on a dinner plate except yours. You served your chow mein on a tiny bread-and-butter plate. As you sat in front of that pathetic scoop of mince, silent tears streamed down your face. I said nothing. Not even when your shoulders started heaving from your distress. We all ate our dinner in silence. Nobody comforted you. Nobody told you to stop being ridiculous and get a proper plate. Nobody told you that you were already loved and already good enough. Your achievements and your worth — as a teacher of children with special needs and a devoted mother of three of your own — paled into insignificance when compared with the centimeters you couldn’t lose from your waist. It broke my heart to witness your despair and I’m sorry that I didn’t rush to your defense. I’d already learned that it was your fault that you were fat. I’d even heard Dad describe losing weight as a ‘‘simple’’ process — yet one that you still couldn’t come to grips with. The lesson: you didn’t deserve any food and you certainly didn’t deserve any sympathy. But I was wrong, Mum. Now I understand what it’s like to grow up in a society that tells women that their beauty matters most, and at the same time defines a standard of beauty that is perpetually out of our reach. I also know the pain of internalising these messages. We have become our own jailors and we inflict our own punishments for failing to measure up. No one is crueler to us than we are to ourselves. But this madness has to stop, Mum. It stops with you, it stops with me and it stops now. We deserve better — better than to have our days brought to ruin by bad body thoughts, wishing we were otherwise. And it’s not just about you and me any more. It’s also about Violet. Your granddaughter is only three and I do not want body hatred to take root inside her and strangle her happiness, her confidence and her potential. I don’t want Violet to believe that her beauty is her most important asset; that it will define her worth in the world. When Violet looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves. The older we get, the more loved ones we lose to accidents and illness. Their passing is always tragic and far too soon. I sometimes think about what these friends — and the people who love them — wouldn’t give for more time in a body that was healthy. A body that would allow them to live just a little longer. The size of that body’s thighs or the lines on its face wouldn’t matter. It would be alive and therefore it would be perfect. Your body is perfect too. It allows you to disarm a room with your smile and infect everyone with your laugh. It gives you arms to wrap around Violet and squeeze her until she giggles. Every moment we spend worrying about our physical ‘‘flaws’’ is a moment wasted, a precious slice of life that we will never get back. Let us honor and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs. When I looked at that photo of you in the white bathing suit all those years ago, my innocent young eyes saw the truth. I saw unconditional love, beauty and wisdom. I saw my Mum. Love, Kasey xx Kasey Edwards is an author from Melbourne. Learn about her books on her website, or follow her on Twitter. This is an excerpt from Dear Mum: a collection of letters from Australian sporting stars, musicians, models, cooks and authors revealing what they would like to say to their mothers before it’s too late, or would have said if only they’d had the chance. All royalties go to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. (Published by Random House and available now.)

I use Lil-lets applicator.. Far superior to Tampax and others, because they expand width-wise, not length wise. Crucial for my PCOS self and the horrendous heavy periods I used to have. Very few leaks with their Super-super-plus...

Well, sounds like they're going for the zero carbs, zero sugars, zero fats option to maximise the loss in the first 6 months. I know every nutritionist is different, but mine said 'we want you to eat low fat, low carb and low sugar - it doesn't mean you eliminate them entirely. The body needs them to function.' He clarified it with 'obviously, we want you to get a bit of carbs from your veggies - not white processed flour and your sugars? EAT your fruit, don't drink it, but limit it to a very small amount. You need to be able to enjoy and embrace a healthy balanced diet for the long-term'. If this is about maximising weight loss and not about any other sugar related issues - I, personally, would not see the harm in having 10 blueberries in some yoghurt once a week.. or something similar, when you're cleared to eat mushies. I am of the opinion, that if you deprive yourself of everything, you're going to re-bound somewhere along the line and it might not be pretty. I know people consistently say 'Change everything now, get in good habits for the future'... yadaa yadaa yadaa... But a tiny amount of fruit is NOT a bad habit. Chowing down on sliders like chocolate, chips, sweets and the like, is. As I have stated - I have eaten fruit (admittedly, not citrus because of the stomach acid issues), and my weightloss is going just fine. I feel healthy and full of vitality, too. I don't know whether that would have been the case if I'd have been warned off everything... Its your body - you know what is right for it. Best of luck

You look marvelous! Well done, you!

You look fabulous! Well done you!