ShannonPA-S

Hey all. I realized I posted over1.5 year ago and never updated. At that time, I made it clear that I mostly regretted the surgery, which I had in May 2009. I looked back and my weight at the time was 260. It is now about 275. I had the surgery at 322 (my highest weight was 365 I think). So, from my surgery, I am down 47 pounds. Not so great. And it's all my fault. I'm not going to blame this surgery. I still can't eat very much. And I am still eating when I'm not full instead of when I'm actually hungry (big, big difference). I am anemic and still have awful acid reflux. I take my Vitamins but not regularly. I'm a screw-up. I know what is right to do, but don't do it. I have been under a lot of stress the last two years. Beginning in May 2010, I started a Masters in Physician Assistant Studies. I am less than 2 weeks from being done. I would have been done May 2012, but I was blessed with my second child in April, a sweet little guy who is the best baby I could ever ask for. Other than chronic anemia, hypoglycemia, fatigue and some issues at the end (I ended up with a rare condition called cholestasis of pregnancy), my pregnancy was pretty healthy. He still measured large the entire way, just like my daughter. And born at 38 weeks, he was 7#13oz. My doctor couldn't believe that I only gained 10 pounds (gained nothing until 32 weeks) and still measured large the entire way, which is what happened. I guess I just have big babies. He's healthy, which is what matters. Not even a week after the birth of my baby, I was re-admitted to the hospital for sepsis, a life-threatening condition. Thankfully it was caught in time, but my bone marrow had already shut down and I was weak for months after. I'm just now starting to feel human again. In any event, here I am again. Faced with a huge career change on the horizon. I was so embarrassed that I had to buy a larger suit in a size 24 for interviews because, even though I haven't gained a ton of weight, it has shifted and I'm just plain fatter. I wore my new suit proudly to an interview for a very exclusive PA position at an excellent hospital, and thought I looked great; but the whole time wondered what the surgeons and PAs interviewing me thought of this morbidly obese woman who wanted to be a PA in their group. It is clear that I am intelligent by even being accepted to PA school, and by graduating, and by the way I speak; yet, I wondered if my weight would preclude me from getting a dream job. In the back of my head, I feel like this fat girl doesn't deserve it like the thin girl. How dumb, I know. This is all about self-sabotage in my case. I still drink coffee and eat grains -- both of which give me severe acid reflux. I took my prenatals religiously during pregnancy, yet now that it's over, and I am not breastfeeding anymore, I don't. My doc says I'm mildly anemic by my hemoglobin (11.4), but my ferritin is in the gutter (7). I know that if I could quit coffee and grains, and possibly get off the PPI (or lower the dose), I would probably absorb more Iron. It's a vicious circle. Fatigue==>coffee drinking==>reflux==>more antacids==>anemia==>fatigue==>. And even when I take iron, it isn't always well absorbed for me. I take Hema-Plex now, which is the best I've tried so far (and I've tried a lot). In any event, I think I have finally come to terms with this. I am wondering if some other nice people from here can post what you eat (2-3 years out from the surgery), so I know what a normal day looks like for veteran sleevers. I've had my babies, recovered from sepsis, and am finally able to accept this surgery. Now I finally have to work with it instead of against it. Thanks for listening. Shannon

Let me start by saying this surgery works! However, I am defective. I'm very down on myself right now. My highest weight was 365 around 2006. I lost down to 305 and got pregnant in late December 2007. Had my precious baby in Oct 2008. I was around 310 after delivery...didn't gain much weight at all. I felt healthy throughout my pregnancy except for the end...she wouldn't come out! I was 42 weeks when I was induced and then had a c-section. So, the beginning was tough. I was still 300+ pounds with a colicky infant who refused to sleep. I didn't know what to do. I finally decided that enough to was enough. I had my sleeve in May 2009 and lost weight immediately. I had no ill symptoms following the surgery, not even reflux, for 3 weeks. I felt pretty good, albeit tired. Then the reflux hit BAD at 3 weeks. I started taking a PPI and it was controlled. But I was exhausted. Soon I realized I couldn't use food anymore (duh, wasn't that the purpose?). I started drinking too much coffee. Bad reflux continued. Then I started eating more. I would eat half a sandwich (or even less), wait until I wasn't full anymore, and eat more until it was gone. So, yes, for people out there wondering if you can overcome this, you can. I was still losing weight. But felt miserable. I did this to myself. I regret having my surgery. At surgery, I was 322. I am now 260. Not good. I should be under 200 by now. I did this to myself. I wasn't ready to lose the weight (psychologically). I still can't give up the foods that cause me to overeat. If I eat healthy proteins/fats and some veggies, I feel great. Yet, for some reason, I want to stuff myself with bread. My reflux is out of control, but my doc took me off the PPI because I am vit B12, folate, and Iron deficient (pernicious anemia). I am on zantac 150 mg up to four times a day to try to prevent esophagitis. Yet I keep killing myself with food. Why I thought this would be my answer, I don't know. I am a graduate student studying to become a physician assistant. I love health, medicine, and wellness. Yet I can't fix myself. If I would stop eating the crap that I eat and stop drinking the coffee, it's likely the reflux would be tolerable. I am really down on myself. I see a therapist who specializes in eating disorders, but I don't know what to do. I also have Hashimoto's thyroid disease (autoimmune) and my doc told me to stop eating gluten, but I still eat it all the time. Like I'm addicted to it. The simple suggestion to "just stop" doesn't work with me. I am a smart, educated, kind person. Yet I can't do these simple things for myself. As of now I regret my decision to have surgery. The reflux is awful. I'm finally now not so tired. For awhile, all I did was cry because I was so tired after the surgery. So I don't know what to do. "Just stop eating the crap" hasn't seemed to work for me. It's like I can't embrace what I've done to myself. I still haven't. Well, that's all. At least I got this off my chest. Congrats to all who've done well. I think I'm defective. I've been big my whole life and it's like I'm scared to be small. As a warning to those undergoing the procedure, don't think this surgery will change your core being. You need to be ready for it or quickly learn to embrace it. I thought I was ready. Obviously I wasn't. Shannon

You are so right. The desire for food is so strong. Do you try to follow a lower carb diet? I have noticed that when I do, that significantly helps me with cravings. Then I sabotage myself. As I said in another response, I now eat when I'm not full. It's like I mistake the feeling of not being full for hunger. I hate that.

I just started therapy a month ago. She uses a "parts of self" method. It's not yet helping, but I'm sure it will. I'm examining how different parts of myself feel about things. Like this surgery: mostly I regret it, but there is a part that is thankful for it. I just have to focus on that part and embrace it. Similarly, most of myself knows that I have to give up grains and coffee because they cause me severe reflux, but this other part of myself holds on. So we're examining why I'm so attached to these things.

My stomach is definitely NOT stretched out. Part of me wishes that I could eat more sometimes. I am 16+ months out and still can eat maybe 3 oz. meat and 1/2 c. vegetables. I really don't want to have to snack, but I have to. And due to my schooling it's hard. The only things I don't get reflux from is meat, vegetables, and some fruits. Nuts, grains, most cheese, and many fruits give me reflux. I can't really just eat some almonds during class because of the reflux. So it's a pain. The one thing I've noticed is that I used to eat when I was hungry. Now I eat when I'm not full. I graze all the time. It's ridiculous. And in the morning, I can hardly eat. My stomach feels so tight. I know I should embrace this. The most important thing is the give up the coffee and the grains. Maybe if I do that I can eat more things without reflux like cheesesticks and fruit.

I am still in the process of considering the lap band, but I just found out that Cigna (at least mine) changed from not covering Lap Band to covering it sometime in June 2005. When I tried to get approved last year, they said it was "experimental." That was also listed on their coverage position on the website. Now their coverage position says that it is covered, including the fills, etc. You can go to cigna.com and type "bariatric" in the search bar. If you can't get to it that way, look for their coverage positions. It's listed in their coverage positions section twice (under the "B" for Bariatric and under the "S" for surgery).

Oh I can't see it! I hope it's only temporarily unavailable! Shannon

I am laughing so hard I can't stand it. This just made my day! I'm still working on getting my stuff together for insurance and it's been a trial (especially the six month supervised diet part). I can't wait to become a bandster so that nearly every one of these things don't apply to me!! As it stands, I can't believe these are all things I/we deal with on a regular basis simply because we've obese. I never really thought about the fact that thin people don't even have to consider the size of the restaurant booth or the fact that the seat belt barely buckles (and with a jacket, forget about it). Thanks for brightening my day! Shannon

Kim & Stacy, Congrats on the band! I can't wait! I was supposed to go to Port Huron tonight for the info session, but because of the weather (and my long drive), we're not going. :cool: I'm sad about that. That's okay, though. Next week I go to St. John to Dr. Hawasli and Dr. Meguid's info session. I can't wait! I have heard wonderful things about them as well! So I guess I'll see. I'm still trying to get my insurance stuff figured out. I know I will denied the first time, but will fight. I have Cigna and they don't want to cover the lap-band, but I will fight them and they will eventually cover it. I'm already planning on hiring an obesity lawyer after my denial. I just don't understand why they have to play hardball. Grrrr... Keep us posted on your progress! Shannon

Thanks Brandi! I have met and spoken with Dr. Pleatman. He's an interesting guy. He's very straight-forward and almost abrupt in some of the things he says. For example, a girl in the seminar said, "Dr. Pleatman, do you take Medicaid?" His response was, "Yes, I take it but I'd be concerned about you paying your portion. If you're on Medicaid, how could you afford it?" I guess that's something I would NEVER say. Then again, he also said, "I've never killed anyone yet, but it could happen." He's so blunt, he's funny! But I have to admit it was amusing. Dr. Pleatman also told me that I need to lose about 5% of my body weight before the operation (no big deal to lose it...it's just keeping it off) so that my liver will shrink and the operation will be easier (my BMI is 61.5). He is interested in seeing patients succeed he said. But he wouldn't recommend the bypass over the lap-band or vice-versa. He said some patients do really well with the band and others don't (we all know this...it depends on the effort the patient puts in). I have yet to meet Dr. Boutt or Dr. Bhensania (I am going to Port Huron Monday). And on the recommendation of our fellow board members, Nancy and Greg, I am going to the informational session at St. John Hospital with Dr. Hawasli!! Thanks for your reply! It was helpful! Shannon

Hi Everyone! I noticed that a few of you have been banded by Dr. Pleatman and a few by Dr. Bhesania or his partner, Dr. Boutt. I am in the Detroit area, and thankfully, my insurance covers both Dr. Pleatman and Dr. Bhesania. Is there anyone new out there that was banded by either of these docs? Initially I was going to go to CORI, but I have been told that they promise you the Lap-Band, but push the RNY on you once you're there. Has this been anyone's experience? I'm doing a lot of research right now. I've got all these informational seminars to go to! Thanks for any help/advice! Shannon