Roo101769

I woke up today in such a bad mood. I have no idea why but I am super cranky. No good reason to be really. In fact, I should be pretty happy. I have hope for my future, something I haven't had in a long time. Yet my mood is crummy. Before I went to bed last night I started my new journal. Maybe the feelings I was writing about churned up and caused my poopy mood. Or maybe it is a stage, part of the process. When someone dies there are stages of grief. While this process is not to be compared with someone dying, it is almost as dramatic and life changing. Maybe part of letting go of my old life and way of thinking is going to cause all kinds of mixed emotions. I guess this is what we cover in the psych evaluation, I'm getting ahead of myself! LOL I will say the longer the morning goes the more I feel the emotions leveling out. Crazy head playing games with me. I do sort of feel today truly starts my new journey, my new life. I am committing myself over to change, what has to be. I cleaned my kitchen shelves and fridge last night in preparation. Sort of symbolic I supposed, a cleansing to get rid of the old and bad ways. I tossed or gave away foods I would not or could not eat in my new life. My struggle will be my daughter. She is only four and is very fit and healthy. I have worked hard to make sure she maintains a good weight so that she doesn't have to struggle as I do. While eating healthy will benefit her, I cannot deprive her of every last thing she enjoys just so I am not tempted. It is going to be a fine line. Anyway, my new (forever) way of eating starts today. I did the whole "before" pictures this morning.. Have to say- YUCK! I think it will be a bit easier post op to eat this way as I will physically not be able to eat much. If I fill the space with what I have to, then there won't be room for junk. Right now there is WAY too much room and I know it will become difficult. But I can and will do this. No other options, no backing out. My body is near a breaking point and I have to change now. I have been having a great deal of pain in my leg the past week. Last night it was so horrible I could barely walk. I am crippling myself with all this fat and I cannot do that anymore. So time to have a good cry, yell into a pillow, then put on my big girl pants and suck it up!!!!

What your doctor has told you is totally different than any of the information I have read, and I have read a LOT. I have seen that doctors actually steer clear of the band if you have reflux or GERD because it can make things worse. And as a previous poster said, doctors in my area are also phasing out the band. In fact in my seminar (for the practice) they said they did 45 revision/removals of bands in the past year but only placed 5! So I truly believe the band is soon to be a thing of the past. I would seriously consider getting a second opinion. I am not sure how far into the process you are and it may be a big pain in the butt to switch doctors now. But having the wrong surgery will be an even BIGGER pain to resolve!!!

Wishing you all kinds of success and a speedy recovery! Hope the sleeve does all you want it to do for you...And how lucky you are to have such a great hubby!!!

People who have either not had a weight problem, or have yet to come to terms with it if the do, cannot understand. Weight loss surgery is not a failure, it is someone taking real control over an issue they have not controlled before. But it is still very much socially viewed as a failure or taking the easy way out. ( VERY far from that actually) Don't let his ignorance get you down. He would be the same type to judge you for being overweight probably. Damned if you do and damned if you don't!!!! Just celebrate YOUR victory and let him go back to peddling his starchy shame....LOL

Nope, no date yet. Just working towards the goal. As far as thoughts popping in your head...Happens to me too. My very first thoughts, once I decided to go for the WLS, was of all the foods I have to give up. In a way I got past that when I decided on the sleeve. It seems to be the least restrictive of what types of food you can eat. So that then puts the burden on me to have will power. My game plan is to eat the "good" food first. If I fill up on what I have to eat, I won't have room left for junk. Or at least I am betting on that...Right now it is totally mind over matter though. I guess part of me is mad that I have to do this. It isn't fair. But life isn't fair I suppose. I have this body. It is the hand I was dealt. So I need to play the best game I can. So far I have done a horrible job. I let the weight win. But luck is about to change and I am taking control. I have already had some images and thoughts of food. I just remind myself what that food has done to me. Maybe I will carry my "before" picture with me to look at in those moments of weakness. Remind myself exactly what my so called "friend" food did to me! I think the mental battle will be hardest. I have to retrain my brain. For 43 years food has served all kinds of purposes, but usually not for life. I lived to eat, not eat to live. Now I am trying to see food as a fuel source and nothing more. It is not for comfort. It is not for enjoyment. It is not cause for celebration. The fact is I cannot have that relationship with food again. As unfair as it seems to me right this moment, it is what it is.

I have picked my doctor, he was actually a referral from my GP. I have an appointment with him next Tuesday. My GP is on board so getting his letter of recommendation should be no problem. He said I would probably need clearance from doctors who treated me in the hospital my last DVT. I have already received one from the vascular surgeon and I see my hematologist Tuesday also, so I will get his clearance at that time. I have read someplace that some doctors prefer you have your annual pap test/ mammograms up to date to, so I have my gyno appointment on Monday. I still have to schedule the psych evaluation and with the NUT. ( Dr. Bruce's office will schedule NUT) His office requires a personal letter of why you want the surgery, which I have already written. My insurance does not require any specified time frame of supervised diet or nutritional counseling, so it will be whatever Dr. Bruce requires. Far as I can tell I am moving along as well as I can, getting everything I can accomplished as soon as I possibly can. In addition I decided to put myself on a pre op/post op diet. Basically I am changing my eating patterns now. I am trying to eat a high protein, low fat & calorie diet with very limited carbs. Sort of what we have to do after surgery. While the quantity will be more now, at least I can start getting used to eating this way. Like you, I am trying to make adjustments now. It will be far easier down the road to work into things rather than expecting to change every habit we have lived with for ever in a matter of days/weeks. Also, any weight loss now will help before surgery. I know my doctor does the ten day pre op liquid diet, so cutting back now will help for that too. At least I won't be going "cold turkey" from full foods to liquid! ..LOL

I am just at the start of my journey too. I don't have any schedule, but I am hoping to have surgery sometime in October. My birthday is that month and it would be great to say I started my new life the same month I celebrate coming into this world! I am doing everything I can to knock this all out and get there. I truly feel this is what I need to get back a life where I can really live!

If you cannot tell by now, I use this blog as a way to vent, blow off steam, get things off my chest or to just share my story in general. Well today it is to vent. I have spent the past two days getting the run around trying to get the insurance thing settled, and I haven't even went to my consultation yet!!! Geesh! Ok, let me backtrack a bit. Early in the year I started thinking about WLS and I contacted my then insurance provider to get all the information about coverage. At that time I had to do 12 consecutive months of medically supervised diet /exercise before I would be considered. I started that in March. I went to see my GP to document it. I joined the YMCA to use their pool for exercise. ( as water therapy is my best bet at this time with the weight/ arthritis) Then my leg issues flared up and I was unable to continue. During the time I was dealing with my leg my employer switched insurance providers. As of June 1st I have been on Anthem Blue Cross. So when I got past the hospitals and bed rest and returned to life, I started thinking strongly about the surgery again. ( Given a poor prognosis on my leg with few treatment options, weight loss is one of the few positive things I can do for it.) So I contacted my new insurance carrier to find out IF our plan covered WLS and what the requirements were for it. My company actually added bariatric surgery as a benefit. ( the original Blue Cross package plan did not cover ) When I was quoted the qualifications I was sure to find out about any mandatory time frame of supervised diet, which to my surprise there was not. All I have to do is provide a list of things I have tried and the results. ( Seems obvious to me the results but...lol) Once I had this information I proceeded to get a referral to a bariatric doctor from my GP, went to the mandatory seminar and just started to get my ducks in a row in general. Then Friday I get a message there is a problem with my insurance. I found out yesterday that , when Dayton Bariatrics contacted Anthem about my coverage, they were told my policy excluded WLS. What happened was whoever took the call only looked at the basic policy, they did not check out the non standard benefits clause. So I made a call to my insurance to get it squared away, then called back the doctor's office to let them know. Last night I found a message on my VM saying that the claims rep for the practice was extremely back logged and did not have time to call my insurance back. Therefore they asked ME to get a statement from Anthem saying that WLS was covered for me, and a list of their requirements for approval. Really??? I have to say this left me feeling a little bewildered. Seems like that is not my place to do this, that the office should handle it. But maybe I am being over sensitive. Anyway, I called my provider back today to make the request. I had to sit on hold upwards of 10 minutes as she collected the information. Then the customer service rep comes back on the line to say she cannot find the requirements list, but can verify I am covered. What the heck???? When I had called before the girl had no problem finding and listing the requirements for me. So the rep puts me back on hold as she calls the doctor's office to verify to them I am covered. Another 5-10 minutes pass and she gets back on the line to say the office still needs the requirement listing, but she will have to search for it. She didn't want me to have to be on hold any longer, but she assured me she would get that information over to them today. Now being somewhat pessimistic I have a feeling this is NOT the last time I will be hearing about this!!!! I rather expect she will not provide said list and I will have to jump through hoops yet again. It is a good thing I am a strong believer that this is what I need to do, because this run around would be enough to put anyone off!

I am just beginning the process and have not yet had surgery, but I agree with everyone else. Mistakes happen. We sometimes lead with things other than our heads...( Which can be a lot of trouble in so many areas! LOL) Just chalk this up to experience, a lesson learned. In the mean time, get rid of temptations if you have them left. Fill your cupboards and fridge only with things that, if you consume in excess, you won't have the extreme guilt and anxiety from. Maybe just a little upset tummy...And remember you cared enough about yourself to have something so extreme done so that you can live a long and healthy life!

In my opinion it has a lot to do with the person's insecurities and less to do with the WLS. If a marriage is strong, based in love/loyalty/respect then it will survive. Maybe work to get him involved in your journey. Have him be your 'coach". That way he feels a part of it and hopefully it will help ease his anxiety. It also doesn't hurt to spend a little extra time with him, sharing your feelings. And if all else fails, perhaps seeking outside support from a therapist or even your church. I just wish all great happiness and success!!!

PRAISE BE!!!! It seems that whoever quoted the doctor my coverage did NOT look under the non standard benefits. Yes, the plan I have does exclude bariatric surgery. BUT, my employer chose to add it to the policy so it IS covered! In fact, the doctor I am going to AND the hospital he uses are both in network! I am beside myself with happiness right now...That scared me!

I received a call from the bariatric doctor's office yesterday. I didn't get home until later yesterday, so I didn't check my messages. They said they need to talk to me about my insurance before my appointment. That has me pretty worried. I called my insurance before I ever started this to make sure WLS was covered, which it is. I also asked what were the qualifications I needed to meet, which I have no real concern of meeting. I also wanted to know if there was a required amount of time on a medically supervised diet/exercise program needed, and there wasn't. I was very specific to find that out because my old insurance did have one, you had to do it for 12 consecutive months before being considered. I had actually went to my GP to start the process in March, before my leg went to hell in a handbasket again... So I am just at a loss what problem there may be. The only thing I am thinking is maybe they do not want to cover as I have had a lot of expense this year already. I know I have met my out of pocket max for the year, but I am not sure what the annual coverage max is- if there is one. I don't know but it has me really worried. I have pinned all my hopes for my future on this and it makes me so nervous to think it may not happen. Then what??? I get to the point I am wheelchair bound because I can no longer walk? I have repeated DVTs because my vascular problems get worse? I can't be am active part of my daughter's life? Or the worst thought of all....I die young because of the weight? I pray with every fiber in my being that it is just some small glitch ( like maybe they can't read my writing or something) and I am worrying for nothing.

Apparently my insurance said bariatric surgery is excluded from our plan when they called to verify. That is NOT true! I had contacted my insurance prior starting this and they said it was covered...

One of my oldest and dearest friends has had a struggle with weight as much as I have. He and I have dieted together, joined a gym together and have spent years going up and down in weight. In fact, we are so much in sync that one year for Christmas we gave each other the EXACT SAME GIFT! We had both been down on ourselves for being heavy and had discussed trying yet another weight loss attempt. So when Christmas came around we both wanted to motivate the other. We had a photo of ourselves taken when we were both close to our ideal weights. We were probably around 21 or 22 and it was one of our mutual "skinny" periods. In our attempts to motivate,we both had the same photo enlarged and framed for the other person! It caused us to laugh so hard we must have lost a pound or two over just that..LOL Anyway, as the years have gone on we are not in touch as much as I wish we could be. He has his life with his partner, they own an apartment building together plus he works long hours at his day job. I am busy with the life of a single mom; working full time, taking care of a home and raising my daughter. While we no longer have as much in common, we still have a deep love of friendship for one another. So when I decided I knew what path I was taking I called him up to talk about it. He had long been my weight loss ( and sadly gain) buddy and I wanted to share with him. Actually I spoke with him early in the year about it, back in March when I first was thinking about it. At that time he said he was trying Weight Watchers again, but if he failed (again) he would seriously consider surgery. When I called him a few weeks ago to say I was determined to do this, I could hear such depression in his voice. He had failed again and was very upset over it. His mother and his partner both are against him having the surgery, which makes it tough on him. But I have been in his shoes, so to speak, so I have much greater insight on how he feels than they do. I told him I understood their concern, but sometimes you just have to take control to be able to live the life you deserve. Anyway, he and I left the conversation at me promising to stay in touch and him wanting to hear how things proceed. When I went to my seminar a couple weeks after I had posted it on Facebook. He saw it and contacted me. Apparently he too had attended a seminar at another hospital the VERY SAME DAY! His mom and partner went with him and asked all kinds of questions. His mom is now more on board, but his partner is still afraid. But I am so happy he has decided to pursue this, I KNOW it will make his life and health so much better. And here is the kicker...Before, when he had looked into bariatric surgery, he had decided on the Roux-n-Y. But now, after our conversation about it, he is now wanting to get the sleeve! So God willing ( and I pray with all my heart and soul he is) my dear friend and I will travel down one last weight loss path together, then spend the rest of our lives and friendship supporting each other to remain healthy!!!

Thank you so much Beach Lover. I have a call into the office, but had to leave a message. I am waiting to hear back. I am trying very hard to stay positive. In fact, my horoscope today said something about starting a new project and that there will be bumps in the road. But it said those bumps are just a sign to get up and keep trying, and that is what I intend to do!

I attended the seminar last night and have to say it was not new information. I like to be well informed on a subject, and I have done extensive research into sleeve gastrectomy. There were only a couple of things that came as any type of surprise to me. First was the fact that the sleeve is being strongly promoted now. In fact, they were pretty much discouraging lap band type surgery and pushing either the sleeve or Roux-n-Y bypass. They said, in their practice for the past year, they have probably done 45 revision surgeries for lap bands ( or removal) and only 5 insertions. I was also a little thrown off by their time frame for things. I realize that every doctor and every practice will be different. But this practice requires a two day stay in hospital after vertical sleeve surgery, yet said they typically release people back to work and their normal lives in a week post op. He did say that, if someone had the availability of taking two or three weeks to recover, they would prefer the longer time. But realistically people need to get back to their lives and, as long as you are healing and the pain tolerance is ok, they get you back as soon as they can. On a personal note my concern over my repeated clots being a factor to exclude me from surgery was pretty much eliminated. He said they control that with anticoagulants, which I already take. So all in all I think I am on the road to being "reborn" and the chance of really getting to LIVE the rest of my life! My consult is scheduled for 8/6 at 12:30pm. It was kind of funny really, when it came time to schedule the consultations. The seminar had been presented by Dr. Fleisher. I call him the "face" of the practice. He is quite a bit younger than Dr. Bruce, and is not bad to look at. If you go online and look at the website for Dayton Bariatrics you see Dr. Fleisher, not Dr. Bruce. So as everyone lined up to schedule their appointments, the sheet for Dr. Fleisher filled quickly, while the sheet for Dr. Bruce remained fairly clear. Good for me because I got his second available consultation time!. Dr. Bruce is who my GP referred me to. I have read his credentials and he is one of the best in the area. In fact, he is head of bariatrics for two of the main hospitals here. ( One being where they do the surgeries) I am pretty confident he will be an excellent doctor for me, even if he has a few more miles on him than his younger counterpart....LOL

Tonight is the bariatric seminar. It is mandatory to take to become a patient with the practice I have been referred to. I am very excited, I want to get this party started! I have to keep myself motivated, keep pushing forward. I am the kind of person who will give up all too quickly if I do not see progress. Not exactly a shining personality trait, but it is who I am. It explains a whole lot about my lifelong weight struggles. Also explains how so many of my "big ideas" have never panned out. But this time is different. I have to stay focused. I cannot give up just because things aren't going at the speed I want them to. There are many steps in the process that I have no control over and I must accept that. At the same time I am being little Miss Proactive and I am trying to speed things along as much as I can. My GP told me I would have to get clearances from all my doctors relating to my recent DVT/PE. I already went to the vascular doctor and got his blessing. I go to my hematologist on 8/6 for my post hospital check up, and I will get his clearance at the same time. My GP is already on board, although I am aware I will have to do a full physical. And during my research I read that some doctors prefer you have your pap tests / mammograms current. I went ahead and scheduled my pap for next month ( not really due until September) and will get the mammogram scheduled from there. Like I said, I am doing my part. I won't lie either, there is a financial motivation involved in all of this as well.. Since I had the issue with my leg, the hospitalization, the minor surgery to have an IVC filter placed, all the tests that go with being on blood thinners, and all the doctor visits stemming from it all...I have met my cap out of pocket amount through my insurance for the year. Therefore, if I can get the whole process approved and surgery done before the end of the year I will have little to no out of pocket expense. I am not fully motivated by this, but it is just another component of my decision. Might as well kill two birds with one stone! LOL But the idea of losing weight and feeling so much better in my body is the biggest draw of all. I long for a pain free day. It has been a while since that existed. It has gone from a minor irritant before this last DVT, to a daily chronic problem that I seriously have problems dealing with. I do not want to be a pain pill addict. I do not want to learn to live with chronic pain. I want to learn to live again, without pain and without the fat that is holding me back!

Hello all and thanks for reading my blog! Shimmer...I read what you said and have thought about it. I too am a little scared about having my body altered to such a degree. ( that is why I had first leaned toward the lap band) But here is how I look at it. My body is already altered and I had no say in it. The arthritis has damaged my joints, done and done. The blood clots have ruined the blood vessels in my right leg. I didn't want it or asked for it, but it is what I got. I have to live with it. So the idea that I can take charge and DECIDE to do something is actually empowering. Yes, it is major and drastic. But had I died from those clots, that would have been major and drastic too. I think surgery and a fabulous, functional, pain free body is a WAY better deal than the alternative!!!

Every person who comes to bariatric surgery has a reason, a story. No one wakes up one day and goes "you know, having my stomach partially removed,diverted, or banded sounds like fun- I think I want to do it!" Nope. There is a reason. A moment of giving it over to a higher power mixed with taking full charge of your weight loss. It is the most odd feeling when your brain makes the leap and decides it is what needs to be. I truly believe bariatric surgery is a last ditch effort for so many of us. (Disclaimer- can't say there are not those who think it is a quick fix or an easy out. But from all I have read and seen, it is FAR from "easy".) I admit, I am from the school of thought where this kind of surgery is "giving up". I have never seriously considered it for me. When I thought about weight loss it was all on me and my will power. If I just dieted enough or exercised enough it would be all I needed. But at 43 years old the light bulb, as dim or as bright as it may be, finally went off. I am not a dieting or exercise success. I am morbidly obese. I need to be realistic. I need to change now, while I still can. The consequences of not changing are just not an option. Let me go back here a little. I have to say I have always been on the chubby/chunky/ curvy/ husky side. I was never "thin" like the other kids. I had a round face and a tummy when I was young. I developed early. In junior high and high school I felt pudgy. Even though I know now I was far from obese, society made me feel fat. I wasn't athletic, but I was active. A band nerd. ( And anyone who has been in marching band knows it is a physically active thing!) After high school and into my early adulthood I was still heavy-ish. But I was starting to realize I had curves that were pleasing to some, it wasn't just being fat. Into my mid twenties I probably wore a size large, maybe up to a 14-16. But since I was only 5'3", this was FAT. Then in my mid twenties I got married. The perfect storm for weight gain began. I began to have "female issues", I was in a somewhat stable relationship, ( at least for a short while) I quit working jobs that required me being on my feet and got a desk job. It all added up, and I started piling on the pounds. I quickly gained in excess of 50lbs in the matter of months. 200lbs, 225lbs,250lbs...the numbers on the scale just kept going up. I stopped gaining around 250lbs. I went into "diet" mode. But this time it wasn't coming off like before. When I had wanted to lose weight before all I had to do was eat less and move more. This time it wasn't working. After some other things going on health wise, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. (PCOS) My marriage failed in a few short years. I joined a gym. I dieted. I gave up. I was on the hamster wheel... Years passed and I lost weight, only to gain it back with extra. This went on for years. Then my mother passed away unexpectedly in 2003, which threw my world into chaos. I gained custody of my niece and nephew when she passed. I had never had children, so it was a new world. And they did not come without a LOT of issues of their own. The next four years were a struggle to just get through life. During that time my weight edged up further, until I hit a (then) all time high of 314lbs. Finally, in 2007, I decided I REALLY needed to change. I joined Curves and got my butt moving. I put myself on a very restrictive diet and managed to knock off 36lbs. In about six months I started to feel great, see a new me emerging. But then I hit a stall. I stopped losing. I managed to keep it off for a while, but could not get back to dropping anything. Then something happened I never saw coming, which lead to the next major change in my life. With my 36lb weight loss came a new confidence. I started going out and dating. I met a man. I won't go into all the troubles that came of that, it is best put on another blog! LOL But I did end up pregnant. I NEVER thought it would happen. With my PCOS and female issues, I did not believe I could get pregnant. But at 38yrs old I did. I had a healthy baby girl in November of 2008. But life wasn't perfect. I am a single mom. There are a lot of struggles, including financial. I would love to say I never lost the baby weight, which got me to where I am now- but that would be a lie. I lost all I gained plus a couple extra pounds by my 6 week check up after she was born. No, my body was changed by having a baby but I cannot say I gained weight from it. But slowly I did start gaining again. So in 2010 I decided to start back to Curves and I added Zumba to my arsenal. I was determined to get back on the right track. But an already arthritic knees could not handle the intensity of Zumba, and I was soon having a lot of problems with my knees. I started seeing a orthopedic doctor and tried all kinds of things to help nurse the knee back to health. You see, before the knee problems I was a pretty darn healthy person. Yes, I had PCOS and female problems. But I did not have the common weight related issues such as high blood pressure or diabetes. I just had bum knees holding me back. So after months of trying this remedy or that one it was decided I needed surgery to "clean up the knee". Well surgery went off without a hitch. I had more severe arthritic degeneration than he had thought, but other than that I was ok. Until two days post op. I developed a DVT (deep vein thrombosis-blood clot) behind my knee. The day after I was admitted to the hospital for it I had a pulmonary embolism and was rushed to ICU. ( FYI- actor Dennis Farina just died yesterday from the same thing) This was a set back to say the least. But time passed and eventually I got back to "normal". I was never able to go back to Zumba, but I did return to Curves. Yet the weight continued its climb higher. I can maintain a weight for a few years, then suddenly I start gaining another 10, 15, 20lbs. As I have aged, and as I have gained, it has taken more of a toll on my joints. I started having to swallow anti inflammatory medicine like Pez. Then suddenly, without warning, this past spring all hell broke loose... In March I started having pain in my "bad" leg. I thought I had another clot, but it was determined I did not. I was told I had vasculitis or phlebitis. Then in April it got worse. Another check determined I DID have another DVT. I started treatment with blood thinners and bed rest. A few weeks later I returned to work for a sum total of 2 1/2 days. Then my leg took another turn for the worse. Apparently the clot got BIGGER, migrated upward AND I had another small pulmonary embolism. Five more days in the hospital. After I was released I had to be on bed rest for another month. I was told I now have to take blood thinners for the rest of my life. My vascular doctor has informed me the veins in my leg are "destroyed". I have chronic venus insufficiancy. I have to wear a compression stocking on that leg everyday for the rest of my life to try to avoid further deterioration. And the worst part.....I can no longer take my arthritis medication due to taking blood thinners. I have lived with increasing pain for the past couple of months. It is no doubt my weight has continued to climb now, as I am basically seditary at all times. And depression over my situation has lead me to eat more. I looked into disability. I actually have two qualifying factors, so physically I can get it. But I thought long and hard about it. Do I want to live the rest of my life in pain? Do I want to keep gaining weight from being depressed and unable to do anything? And what about my daughter? What kind of mother can I be to a four year old like this? How can I be an active part of her life when I can't even be an active part of my own life? That was the day it all changed for me. The day I decided I had one answer, one path I MUST follow. I HAVE TO GET THE WEIGHT OFF! And the path I decided I need to take is the bariatric path. I started doing a lot of research. I called my insurance provider and verified they cover it and the qualifications for it. (oh I TOTALLY qualify!!) I spoke to my primary care doctor. He referred me to Dr. Bruce. I have not stepped foot into his office yet, but I feel my choice is clear and made for me. After much research and consideration I choose to pursue the sleeve. I had initially thought lap band, but a lot of things are swaying my decision. So if Dr. Bruce agrees with my thought process, and my insurance will cover the cost, I plan to go full steam ahead with it. I have already been to my vascular doctor to get his clearance for surgery. He said losing weight would help my vascular issues a great deal, and is very much supportive of my decision. I have researched and read and planned as much as I can. I am being VERY proactive. I have decided (on my own) to begin changing as many habits as I can now to help with the process. I am making myself drink more fluids (ie:water) daily. I have decided that, starting in August, I am changing how and what I eat. I want to begin the post surgery diet, consisting of mostly protein. I feel it will not only help me succeed in the long run, it will also be easier to NOT have to change everything I have done all my life in just a matter of a few weeks. (not to mention having to deal with major surgery at the same time) One BIG habit I have to get in to is NOT drinking while eating, and chewing my food until it is paste. Those things will be tricky for me. But I know I can do it..I know I HAVE to do it. And I will be documenting and blogging as I go. ( If you have not been able to tell, and have read to this point, I like to speak my mind! No matter the form or to whom...LOL) So if anyone else is just starting this journey, or has been on it for a long time, and wants to read one woman's insightful, crazy, thought provoking or just plain weird story stay tuned..................................