Roo101769

I think we all encounter someone who says that to us at some point or another. There are those who are genuine and well meaning. They don't see us for our exterior, just love us for who we are on the inside. To them we are already perfect. Then there are those who wish to keep us in whatever position or box they have created for us. If we lose weight we take their power away to keep us in said position. And there are those who are just jealous. They wish they too could lose weight and change their lives, yet fail to get the need to surrender to the truth of their situation. They see our weight loss as a type of threat. They have fragile psyches and feel empowered by telling us we are doing it all wrong. ( although clearly we are not) And then there are just the clueless ones. They have no concept of what WLS really is about. They are not educated on the topic and don't wish to be. The funniest story I have had to date is actually from my hematologist. Yes, a DOCTOR! He asked me what happens when I lose the weight I need / want to. How do I stop myself from losing too much?? My answer... "IDK, I guess I will just eat a donut or something". LOL

I hope I can help you feel a little more at ease. I am the survivor of not one, but two pulmonary embolism. The first occurred in April of 2011 and the last this past May. Yet I still went ahead with the sleeve surgery on 10/21. We took every precaution; Lovenox injections, and IVC filter, full pulmonary work up and having to get medical clearance from my hematologist and vascular doctors. I knew I was still taking a chance. But being obese is chance enough of developing clots that lead to PE, so it was worth it. I am very happy to say I had absolutely no complications from the surgery, aside from maybe a little extra bleeding due to blood thinners. Since you are traveling to Mexico it is important that you do what you can to prevent clots. If you aren't on anticoagulants then taking an adult aspirin will help. During the flight be sure to get up and walk when you can, or at the very least flex your ankles up and down in your seat. ( this helps the blood to circulate better in the seated position) It is now standard care to be given Lovenox while in the hospital, so ask the medical staff there about it. And as soon as you can after surgery get up and walk. Not only will this help to prevent clots, it will also help a great deal with the gas from surgery. Good luck. Trust me, it is very worth the risk for the rewards!!!

I am around 7 weeks myself. I am no where near you, but I am happy. I started at a much higher BMI and all told I have lost close to 60 lbs now. I have lost a bit slower post op for whatever reason. ( I believe at least due in part to losing around 33lbs pre op from August - October) But all is good. I am happy to be making progress and will continue to take one day at a time! Congrats and you look fabulous!!!

I too threw up all kinds of blood post op. They said not to worry, it is left over from the surgery. I had a bit of problem with anesthesia and pain killers. ( could not wake up and very nauseas) Both passed. I pray you don't have a leak and that you recover quickly. Chin up!

Not as of yet. I am not down near goal yet either. ( I have lost over 50lbs) I do not believe it is all weight related though. Attitude is a very large part of the equation. You absolutely have to put yourself out there and basically have a "devil may care" attitude. Worrying about it makes you seem desperate. Living life and enjoying what may come will make you happier, which in turn will make you more appealing. But as someone who is still on my weight loss journey I do understand that may be easier said than done. While I have lost more weight than my preschooler, I am still obese. Those who just meet me see it, they don't see how far I have come already. I have insecurities that make it hard to be as carefree as I would like. But let me tell you, I do not plan to crawl in a hole and give up. Eventually I will find the person meant for me, or die trying!!! ( at a VERY old age!)

Yes, do keep an eye on it. At the same time try not to worry. I consistently run a bit above normal. ( 99 is my norm) I am never sick or have infections, just the temp my body usually reads. Even now that I am suffering the "deep freeze" associated with weight loss I still read 99. Just take it easy and heal well!

For once in my life this is one female issue I DON'T have! I too have PCOS. In fact, when I was diagnosed it was pretty early on in PCOS research and my doctor actually suggested me for case study. ( I didn't end up doing it though) I am sort of text book with my symptoms. Anyway, after I was blessed to get pregnant and have my daughter ( first and only pregnancy at age 39) I had a D & C, thermal ablation and permanent birth control placement. I do still have my cycle, but it is drastically lighter than years past. Since surgery I haven't really seen any change either, which is fine by me. I wish you ladies luck who are still facing the red tide!!!

I wore mine the first three days all the time. Then around the fourth day I stopped wearing it in the daytime, but still to sleep in. I felt it "held" me better as I would roll in my sleep. I wore it about a week and a half that way. Definitely something you want to use..

I think the fact we had bariatric surgery is part of why people talk. Let's be honest here, it is still considered a "dirty little secret" by many. It isn't right or fair, but it is. People judge and condemn a person for being obese, wondering how on earth we let ourselves get in such condition. There is little empathy or compassion from non obese people for those who have simply lost control. ( for whatever reason) Yet when we choose to finally take back that control, do something real and meaningful to get our health and lives back, tongues start wagging. I think there is a whole host of reasons why. Everything from believing we are lazy and taking "the easy way out" to jealousy and envy. But you know what? We are probably some of the strongest people in the world. We aren't weak for having doubts or fears, we are warriors for caring enough about ourselves to get up and DO something! This is far from a simple, easy road to take. It is a mountain to climb each and every day. But we are on the mountain, so why not enjoy the view? Yes, they notice. Yes, they talk. Because in their small world you are the biggest "new" thing to discuss. I just encourage all to hold your heads high and be proud you are you. Our lives have all been turned upside down and inside out from all the change we are experiencing, but continue to have strength in knowing you are worth caring about yourself. The rest of the world be damned!!!

I have read on here time and again about how different surgeons and different practices all do things...well....differently. It has always had me amazed, and I am now even more so by my "besties" current experiences. I was sleeved on 10/21 and he is being sleeved 12/17. He is going through the other major hospital in our area. ( There are two major outfits, one comprised of four hospitals and one stand alone. There are also a couple other stand alone hospitals that are smaller or have lessor reputations.) He is going to be sleeved through the big name stand alone hospital while I went through the other network of four. I had to have every test imaginable it seemed pre op. I had an upper GI, blood gas, EKG, the scope and a full breathing workup. He had the upper GI and blood work, and nothing else. He has been told he will only be in the hospital overnight. ( I was in from Monday 8am until around 5pm Wednesday) He has been told there will be no catheter or drain tube. They have already prescribed his post op pain meds and told him nothing about the pain meds he will receive in the hospital. Additionally he has been told he will not have another upper GI test. Now, this is how they checked for leaks so I am not sure their procedure. The difference in care is sort of startling to me honestly. I felt I was totally taken care of. They took every precaution to ensure I would have the very best outcome. I didn't feel "like a number" and was made to feel I was important while I was in the hospital. I don't want to knock what they are doing for my friend, but it seems to me they are not being as thorough and it is more assembly line. He is an old and dear friend and has had a lot of health issues over the years. ( some weight related, some not) I think there should be a lot more done to ensure he is prepared as possible before the surgery. But that is my two cents. another thing I have noticed is his lack of knowledge about Protein and eating post op. ( Not even starting on the difference in pre op diets!) I went to the nutritionist ONCE, and she believed I was knowledgeable enough to be successful and did not require any further pre op visits. He had been required (by insurance) to have 6 visits with a nutritionist pre op. Yet he has no clue what to buy for Protein shakes. His pick had high sugar and the protein was about 23g. I steered him to what I have bought, which has lower sugar AND higher protein. (plus cost less) I am more than happy to guide him along from my experience, that is what friends are for. It just amazes me how much difference there is in the two programs. I want him to be as successful as he can be. I just hope I am being too critical of his program and it is as good as mine!

I am almost 7 wks post op. I was VERY tired for about the first three to four weeks, then gradually got better. In fact, my first few days back to work almost got the better of me. ( I was 9 days post op when I returned) Now I feel I am mostly back to my old normal. Do I have days I am more tired? Yep. But overall I am doing much better and have more than enough energy to get through it all. I hope you find a way to get yourself back to a comfortable, energetic place!

I have PCOS. I used to have pretty severe symptoms. ( period issues, fertility issues, hair loss along with excess body hair etc) I was sleeved 10/21. I can tell you I have lost "slower" than some, but by no means abnormal. ( weight loss since surgery is 25lbs- I lost 33lbs before surgery) I admit I have not done any real exercise so that could be part of the reason I haven't lost as much. My hair is bad, but several thing contribute to that factor. I am not sure where you are starting or how far you have to go, but I can tell you I am happy with the sleeve. I did not want the bypass and this surgery seems tailor made for my needs and desires. Hope you get a lot of feedback to help you make your decision! Good luck!!!

I have to be honest here, because you all know I am honest. I have NOT been closely monitoring myself as I should. I don't measure or weigh. I haven't been counting Protein grams or liquid intake. I have been living. And yes, it is probably not the best way to proceed. But I am just the person I am, no more or less. When I learned to drive I was so focused on the lines on the road and lining everything up just right that I damn near wrecked several times. I get anal about things. But when the day came I thought " I am just going to point myself down the road and go, and try to stay in my lane" I got it. I have never had a ticket and the only wreck I have been in was caused by another. That is sort of how I am living with my sleeve. I am just pointing myself down the road and trying to stay in my lane. I pick healthy 98% of the time. ( And I won't lie to say I NEVER eat something I should not, because I have) I eat protein first, and in many cases it is all I have. I still cannot consume a "meal", just an entrée. At times my mind gets carried away and I think I am eating like a horse. Then I stop and really ponder what has gone in my mouth and realize it is really, really not as bad as I was giving it credit. I drink when I can, period. I tend to drink more week days sitting at my desk because it is routine. On the weekends I don't do quite as well. But I can tell from my own body signals when I need more and when I am hitting the mark. And I have been very strongly working on getting ALL my Vitamins in daily. Again, easier on week days than week ends. Could I be doing better? Sure. I will be the first to admit I have not followed the rules of the sleeve down to the last letter. But have I been trying hard? Yes. Will I continue? Yes! Am I human? YES!!!! We all are. And to thine own self be true. No one is accountable for anything but me. I live with the body, I live with the consequences. I know I have to fight this fight, and I am. I completely understand the overwhelming feelings being a food addict brings with. I will face them the rest of my life, as I have to this point. The thing is now I feel I can do this, I can win. And if there was any way I could give strength to anyone out there who needed it, I would in a heartbeat.

I too have received a few...uh....comments. Of course it has been very recently because I totally overhauled my look. ( see my post about "What's that on your head") Changing my hair, doing my makeup and wearing clothes that are a bit smaller suddenly has everyone taking notice. Actually one (married) coworker has made a few comments that have been a bit uncomfortable. I just blow him off and do not take it seriously, but it will probably get worse as time goes on. Just a part of the experience.. When I lost about 36lbs years ago (2007 I lost 36lbs, but was still heavier than I am now) I got a lot of attention. It was odd because I still weighed 276lbs ( and was morbidly obese) yet folks treated me like I was some super skinny, sexy model or something. ( Not everyone, and not all the time) Now I weigh 262lbs but I still wear a lot of my old clothes. They are baggy and do hide my weight loss. ( 54lbs) But on days I wear things a bit smaller then suddenly the comments start coming. I just figure when my ego needs a boost I will dress accordingly...LOL

I thank you all for the support, honestly. I am starting to adjust and feel more comfortable in this. I have found a couple benefits..1) I stay warmer. Just like wearing a hat, the wig tends to hold heat in a bit. Which is a great thing with the temps dropping and the constant cold feeling post op. And 2) my head stays dry in the rain!!! LOL Ok, may not be what you all were thinking but it is something. I try to be the glass half full type... Anyway, I hope my story helps anyone out there who may be struggling as I was with hair loss. There ARE options, just have to accept it for what it is. I found a LOT of websites that sell wigs. ( who knew?) I purchased through Paula Young. They were fast shipping / delivery and the prices were economical. Some of their looks are a little dated, but they do have a lot to choose from. And as you can see, they look pretty good. The care is super simple and makes getting ready a snap! Gives me much more time to do my makeup well ( which makes me look a LOT better) and not be late for work..So win / win. LOL Seriously, I do appreciate everyone who took time to give me support here. Makes a rough adjustment that much easier!!!

Well, yesterday I finally bit the proverbial bullet and put on a wig. Guess I should start with a little backstory on this. When I was young I had very thick, curly hair. I could never run a comb through it, it would tangle and knot. In high school I wanted big hair ( child of the 80s here) like everyone else and I had it- BIG! That was the one good thing about having naturally curly/kinky/frizzy hair. Then in my mid 20s life changed. I started having a lot of "female issues" and was eventually diagnosed with PCOS. One of the hallmarks that I experienced was hair loss. My once thick head of hair became a thinning mass in a matter of months. It was bad, hard to deal with. But it wasn't as bad as it would get. Fast forward about 13 years. At age 38 I became pregnant. When I had my daughter my hair was once again at it's youthful thickness, until the hormones shifted. My hair loss post pregnancy was fairly devastating. I went from mildly thin to pretty darn noticeable. I started using Topik hair fibers at this time. It helped to fill in, make it look thicker. No one noticed and I was satisfied with this fix. Then I started having blood clotting issues ( repeat DVTs/ PEs) and have now been put on blood thinners for life. One of the side effects of warfarin ( For some- not all) is hair loss. Being so blessed by the hair gods as I am ( sarcasm) I was one who started experiencing hair loss. So my now noticeably thin hair started becoming alarmingly thin hair. I suffer from classic male pattern baldness too...All of my hair loss is on the top and sides. The back has thinned over the years, but is still holding up ok. The top and sides??? Well I honestly look like someone who has been on chemotherapy for a while. So...when I decided to have the sleeve done one of the very FIRST things that caught my attention was the probability of some hair loss. Knowing how the odds for that run against my favor, I decided to be proactive and buy a wig. ( actually- two) But being a woman who has at least a small amount of vanity left ( After all - I was 316lbs so how vain can I really be? ) I was embarrassed. Years ago wigs were "cool". Lots of women used them as a choice to change their looks. But that was years ago. Outside of people who wear them for medical purposes, or actors, I don't know of a lot of people who buy and wear wigs. I even bought mine online, with out having the prying eyes of a salesperson seeing me do so. I cannot explain it but it brings me more "shame" and anxiety to wear the wig than telling people I had weight loss surgery! Yet the hair has been falling out more and more without regrowth. ( and will most likely get worse as the lack of Protein issue hits) All the combined effects that have caused my hair loss have created a "perfect storm" and looking very similar to the Crypt Keeper is the result of it. I have been using increasingly more and more of those hair fibers trying to camouflage the loss, to the point I had more Topik on my head than hair!!! Something had to give, and it as time. Time to break out the old hair hat and face one of my biggest fears...And the results? Everyone loves the darn thing!!! I have had so many comments about how good I look it is ridiculous. More people even noticed my weight loss with my new hair than before. Most guys? Well they are clueless and think it is my old hair and I just went to the salon. But everyone who knows thinks it is natural looking, attractive, and a great improvement. So I am thinking I should have slapped the darn thing on a long time ago!! LOL It is still an emotional adjustment. I hope that my old, unstylish and unflattering hair regrows again someday and that I can go back to not wearing this thing. But for now, for this place in my life I am wearing it. And so far the reviews have been positive. Going to try to attach a picture, but I hate "selfies"...

The wigs I bought were through Paula Young! LOL

Thank you laura-ven. I know I am my own worst critic. The hair thing is an area I am very particular in. ( As I mentioned before it is ironic. I allowed myself to balloon up in weight, but I am vain about my hair!) Today was slightly better with the wig than yesterday. It will get easier over time, I am sure. I do value and appreciate the support I get here which is why I have been very open about everything, including this. I figure it is a topic we all deal with so why not share my experience? Maybe someone else who is struggling with it will not feel so alone if they read all the posts. But it is also very reassuring to know I have made a good choice in this wig. The other one I bought is slightly shorter and does give that "slightly off" look, especially in the back. ( to me it SCREAMS wig) This one was my second choice and I am pretty glad now I found it.

I guess I can look at it this way...I was fat and going bald, so being thin with no hair is still an improvement! LOL

Thank you all for the support. It is just a hard pill to swallow that my hair is gone. I am just not able to accept "bald is beautiful" for me. ( Yeah, but most men can be HOT bald! Why is that?) I have other obstacles to overcome with this hair issue. I am going to buy some "chemo scarves" to wear when the wig is off. ( Like for the gym or swimming) At home I "let my hair down", what there is of it. But I don't even go outside to take my dogs out or put the trash out without covering up my chrome dome. I hate to see myself in any reflection right now. The wig looks fake and without I look sick. I know I will adjust to the wig and soon it will just be another thing I put on, like makeup. And I have been dealing with this hair loss thing for years! I really feel for women who lose their crowning glory virtually overnight. How hard that has to be!

I am not an expert but a fall is more like something you would add to a ponytail for extra length / volume. Sort of like extensions. But a topper actually covers a specific area ( on top) and you can work your real hair through to blend with. Or at least that is what I think....

You know, I saw toppers or wiglets. ( they sit only on top and you can work real hair through to blend in with) I really liked them and thought about it but had two issues..1) my real hair is NOTHING like wig hair so I thought it would be really hard to blend together. My hair is frizzy/ curly and wig hair, even curly, is not frizzy. And 2) my hair is SO thin on top I didn't know how well it would work. Plus heck, I can be lazier with a wig. Makes my getting ready for work time a LOT shorter!!! LOL

I was pretty emotional, but held a lot of it in. I am a single mom of a five year old and I did not want to scare her. I was resolved, so I never imagined backing out. But I was on an emotional roller coaster for sure. The idea of having major surgery..changing my life forever. the whole "no going back" idea. Honestly those thoughts lingered for a week or so post op. Yet as every day passes I feel more and more "normal". I wake up, go to work, come home to my daughter and live my life. Yes, I have slightly different routines.. Yes, I eat differently. But it is still my life and not all that much has changed. And what has changed is so much better than before it is certainly not something I regret or miss. I great each new day in my ever changing body with excitement and enthusiasm.. I can't wait to see how this all goes!

I need something like a medical alert keychain. I don't really want a bracelet or necklace. I do have a card like the poster above mentioned. It lists my surgeon and the type of surgery I had, along with a diagram of the procedure. (It also states I would benefit from child sized portions at restaurants, I guess some will honor with the card.) It goes in my wallet, the size of a credit card. But that only covers the sleeve, I am also a "lifer" on blood thinners. So I do need to find something to cover both, and that I will have on me all the time.