FRED1977

I have started, deleted and restarted this post so many times. It shouldn't be this difficult to write my first post, I have so much to say... I don't want to start at the "beginning" that needs to come, but I am not sure if I am ready to put into words what brought me to the place I am today. So I think I am going to just talk about why this surgery is important to me. The goals I want to achieve with this surgery and what I want to do for myself along the way.
 
Goals
 
Its easy to set a weight loss goal. I have had a number in mind from the first time I stepped foot in a Weight Watchers meeting when I was 23 years old. I picked a number right smack in the middle of the "acceptable" range. 142... The last time I saw a weight that started with a 1 and a 4 was when I was in the 7th grade. There is a part of me that thinks there is no way in this world I will ever EVER achieve that number again. There is a bigger part of me that says I can do this, no I can do this! So in my head I have a few weight loss goals, and reasons.
 
280: I chose this number because spring of 2012 I worked my butt off for months, with a trainer, 5-6-7 days a week in the gym. Taking step followed by Combat in one day and not blinking an eye. I lost 15# and for the life of me I could not get past 280, I grew frustrated and worried about answering to my trainer and.... I gave up.
 
261: Forever... my top weight was 261, I mean years. I started Weight Watchers so many times at this number it is unreal. It also happens to be the weight where my body seems to react to my weight and causes a metabolic response that causes me to be irregular with my monthly cycle (Sorry guys if this is TMI but it is true) From the moment we women start menstruating we women complain about how horrid it is, how much it effects our lives. After struggling for the past few years of random 2-3 times a year cycles I can say there is nothing that makes me feel like less of a woman than the fact that I do miss that every month. It might sound crazy but I think the first time I get my cycle two times in a row I will probably cry...
 
220: The one and only time I have been completely successful in a weight loss journey was 5.5 years ago. I counted every damn calorie I stuck in my mouth, I counted every damn calorie I burned on the eliptical, I worked hard and it showed. I had someone, that I respect very much, tell me I was like a rose getting ready to bloom any day. I WILL be that rose someday.... and I can't wait.
 
199: Who doesn't have this as a goal? The last time I weight around this weight was after I gave birth to my son. My pregnancy was not the cause of my weight gain. I started my pregnancy at 190# I gave birth to my son at 204# and the day I left the hospital I weight 189#. Yes I was overweight, I admit it, but I was OK.
 
I don't really have a goal between 199 and 142. I don't know where I will land. I know this... I will not stop until I am happy. I love strength, I love muscle and there is nothing that makes me happier than showing up my friends on the gym floor with the weights. We have a University in my town that does body composition testing with the egg thing, once I get to the point where I feel I am close to a goal or I am feeling comfortable I am going to get a full body composition. I did this to lose weight and be healthy, I want to have a healthy body fat percentage and I want it to be accurate.
 
More than anything... Size 2, Size 22 I am doing this for me, and only me. I want to be healthy and truly happy for the first time in a really really long time. I can't wait to add more along the road!
 
I leave you with a picture of me and my pride and joy. I always wanted FIVE children and God has blessed me with one perfectly imperfect son. I know I will have more children someday, more than likely through adoption or marriage but.... you never know! He is my reason.... He is my soul.... He is my life.... He is rotten... and makes me work for kisses (typical 14yo)

Just barely but I’m there. This is a term I learned from hanging out on various online forums. Onderland. That magic place when your weight starts with the number 1.
I have to say, it’s less exciting for me than for some others because I didn’t start that much above it, and only had to lose 30 lbs to get there, but it’s a nice, mini-milestone.
But here’s another way to look at it, and this does indeed excite me. Today, I have lost a third of the excess weight I need to lose. A third of the way there! Now that’s something to celebrate.
It’s also a good way to know that the surgery is working, or rather than I am working it. Once I came off the stall, I seem to have lost .4 lbs, .2 lbs, .6 lbs, but it’s still a wonderful downward trend, and I think I’ll take it!

Well I am just shy of 2 months! I have made it to my first mini goal! Yay! So excited! I am and proud that I actually made it! I still am struggling to get in exercise! I know I need to but time is not my friend right now. I literally am so busy right now with everything else. My husband is going through some sort of something right now and I am picking up his slack. ALL the house chores and cooking is falling on me. Not to mention soccer pratice, homework, and giving the kids baths ect. You parents know the deal. It's like I am a single parent right now! He is not happy about his weight and I think seeing me losing and becoming more postive and happy has him in the dumps. He isn't being ugly to me or making me feel guilty but he seems a little checked out. I have mentioned to him about the slacking off but I am trying to let him work through this funk. I am however feeling a little stretched and I am going to snap soon! He is complaining about his weight all the time. It's like he is becoming me before surgery! Hopefully I can inspire him to change his lifestyle and this is just a phase before he snaps out of it and starts to. Well enough of that! It is just something I never thought would happen when I started this. I didn't think it would affect him this way. Well back to me! lol
So my next mini goal is 199! That's right ONEDERLAND! Oh to see those numbers on my scale! What a happy day! So hopefully in the next couple of months I am going to make that happen! I want to make it there or under by Christmas! It is my Christmas present to myself! So my stats so far are...
Pre-Op -7lbs Size 20 pant 1-2x tops
1 Month -26lbs Size 18/16 XL
2 Month -12lbs Size 16/14 regular L no PLUS SIZE! And 45 lbs lighter!
Can't wait to see what next month loss will be! Happy Friday Y'all!

On Sunday 9/22 I will be celebrating my 2 month Surgeriversery!!! I weighed in today at 252 which is 31 pounds lost since Surgery. Also a ton of inches!!! I have been extremely happy with my sleeve. I have had one episode of dumping since surgery and that was a day i was bad and got over 65 grams of carbs. My sleeve hated me that day. I am still on the meat, cheese and eggs and next week I can start adding 1/2 cup of veggies to one meal a day. I am a little scared to see how my sleeve will handle it but I am hoping for the best. I am so excited to have asparagus , cauliflower and brocolli!!!
I know we aren't likely to have a dumping issue but I am positive that it was one, I was shaky, sweaty and weak. It passed with in a 1/2 hour. I hadn't had that many carbs in one day since months before surgery. Believe me I will not be having anything that isn't on my doctors approved list anymore. I was glad to have had something like that happen because it has put me back on my path. We all have times we mess up and it is what we learn from it that matters.
I started Zumba on Friday nights and love it!!! My new love! I have been walking mainly since surgery so it is so nice to switch it up a little. I haven't gone shopping yet for anything but I do know I need smaller underwear!! LOL I just don't want to go out and shop and then have to shop again a month later so i have been wearing baggy clothes. I did find some old clothes of mine that now fit me that I will be wearing for a while.

At 3 months out I have lost 62 lbs:
Starting weight: 240
Current weight: 178
 
I still have quite a bit to go (as my height is 4' 11").
 
I'm so happy with this progress! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my sleeve.
I've learned and lived through quite a bit in the last couple months....
 
THE GOOD:
 
- Doing 175 squats will not kill you
- I can see my clavicles! (This was a very happy NSV for me)
- Eating at restaurants and parties is more manageable than I thought (just remember: protein first)
- While shopping one day, I looked down and realized I couldn't see my belly, just boobs
- I reached my surgeons first goal on 7/22/13, which gave me even more motivation to keep on track
- NSV: I can wrap a bath towel around me!
- I entered ONEDERLAND on 7/31/13
- This, to me, is by far the most exciting... My resting heart rate went from 120's- 130's down to the 70's!!!
 
THE BAD
 
- "Hunger" during your time of the month: oh wow, I feel like a monster! Lol. Just a tip: don't weigh yourself during your period, it'll just lead to frustration that isn't needed!!
- I've come to terms that negative people will be negative. No use in trying to please or understand these people.
 
THE UGLY
 
- CONSTIPATION... Def never had this as an issue before surgery. My norm before was a couple times a day. Now, a couple times a week. Um, ouch. But I recently starting taking Colace. Hopefully that'll help.
- Hair loss: Ok, I knew hair loss is a side effect, and it usually happens around month 3 or 4, BUT I wasn't really prepared for what it'd actually look like... Like a horror movie! It's quite disturbing to look have hand- fulls of hair while washing it or to look down in the shower and have a hair ball the size of a chinchilla near your drain! I'm lucky I have such thick (and long) hair to begin with, which is why I think it looks so disturbing.
 
WHAT I'M DOING:
 
Well, what I'm supposed to be doing. Protein first, lots of water, low carbs, and exercising. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I find following this plan pretty simple. I don't feel deprived and I rarely feel hungry. It requires work, but the results are so worth the sacrifices.
Just working towards and hoping for continued success!!!

Hi All!
 
I had my sleeve done on August 19th where I weighed 247 lbs. Today Sept 10th I weigh 237 lbs. I am totally ill with this number. I dropped those first 10 lbs the first week and now in my 4th week the scale won't move. I'm counting proteins and getting in at least 48 to 60 oz of water a day, plus working out 5 days a week. I am at a loss. All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing cause it's not like I can get upset and over eat since I can barely get down the little I eat now. Did anyone else have this issue? Sorry for this boo-hoo Blog. I just know next time will be better...

Surgery was July22, 2013; recovery time four weeks. No major problem other than morphine is not my friend.
 
The weight is coming off at a rate I can enjoy. Any faster and I'd have to go to work in a sack. Lol the slow weight loss allows me to purchase a few new clothes. All of my 22-20 size pants don't fit and I can assume my skirts won't either.
 
I don't get upset if the scale does not move. I just look in the mirror and can see the difference in the inches I've lost.
 
Best advise, follow the program outlined by your doctor, go to all follow up appointments, ask when and how often you will need blood work done. Continue to get your fluids in everyday. Take your vitamins and supplements, they are very important. Eat protein first.
 
When you are unsure, ask your doctor. We are all different so the way your doctor may have trained and performed the procedure will be different and the instructions you follow will be different from someone else. That does not make it wrong, just different.
 
Join a support group that is up lifting, I don't stay on this one much any more due to some bad vibes of folks and I've had to block them. I do check in from time to time because there are good people asking great questions and need help. Have more than one support outlet.
 
Lastly don't judge. How and why we became over weight is personal. How we opt to lose the weight is personal. When you start to judge, please stand in front of the mirror to ensure you include yourself in the mix. If anything play it forward, be a good mentor and friend. There are some out there that will truly benefit from it.
 
Stay true to the journey.
 
Karen

My son called for his daily chat, a time I really look forward to. He says, "How was your day?"
 
Well I've had a lovely day. I got to go into the office, work with a team of 6 very smart people, we all got some great thinking and work done. I was able to join them in the lunch I ordered for us, and I've extremely been productive all day. What were the first words out of my mouth in response to my son's question?
 
"Well, I'm still stalled."
 
WTH?? That's all I can think of to tell him about my day?? So he's a very insightful smarty-pants and he says to me, "Mom it was one thing to rely on the scale when you could say 'oh maybe I should cut down a bit tomorrow' and use the scale to monitor and adjust your eating habits. But really, what role does the scale play in your life now??"
 
For a change, I was speechless. Well he wasn't about to stop there. He carries on saying,
 
"Maybe you should ask yourself if it's healthy to let what you see on a scale determine your feelings of success for the day? After all you're doing what you need to, and you told me you were going to focus on process vs. the outcome. Would anything change in your process if you just threw away the scale for 3 months?"
 
No of course it wouldn't but can i throw away the scale for 3 months? I cannot. Why? Because maybe I'm sick in the head and I associate my self-worth with success or failure at pounds lost. Not what I do to succeed, but whether the scale says I've lost weight today.
 
Unlike a lot of people here, over the last few years i could NOT lose weight. I could control my calories, my cardio-vascular health, what I put in my mouth, but I couldn't control my weight. Yet I continued to judge myself by my ability to lose weight. Not by my ability to do what was healthy, but whether or not I could lose weight. I may have been sleeved, but apparently that way of judging myself still persists.
 
So really, if we are eating our protein, drinking our water, and exercising to the degree that we can, what role does or should the scale play in our lives when we're trying to lose weight? Should we not focus on the process, monitor the crap out of the protein and water and calories, and let the scale go off on a long hike to TImbuktoo? And can we do that? Why not?

Ok I have lost 44lbs in just over 3 months. I am very happy with this but.... no one seems to notice. I am in smaller size clothing, my face looks noticibly slimmer, but none of my co-workers have commented. I find this totally amusing. I didn't tell anyone but my boss that I was having the surgery and I was worried what I would tell my co-workers if they asked how I was losing weight but... again nobody notices. Guess I shouldn't have worried in the first place, however I better go purchase some new undies because the old ones are getting so loose that I'm afraid they might fall down.(I bet they'd notice that!) I am usually the one that comments nice haircut or outfit to the others so maybe they truely don't notice anything. I'm hoping to have lost 50lbs before my next doc visit, maybe someone will notice by then.

im never really on VST much but i stop by here when i can. last blog i posted i weighed in at 221 i believe. today i am 7 months (almost 8) and i weigh 185. a total loss of 95lbs so far. im happy, but sometimes i still feel "fat" lol i constantly have to do side by side pics to remind myself how far ive come eventhough i dont see it, other people do. to be honest i dont exercise like i should. but starting the beginning of september im joining the gym at my job. my birthday is next month and i would LOVE to be 100 lbs down or a little more. im thankful for the sleeve

The night before surgery....I kept myself busy and finally at 11 dropped from exhaustion.....and slept like a baby until the alarm went off at 4 a.m. I was in the OR, getting prepped for surgery, asked for something for nausea in my IV, we had a few laughs, and the next thing I know, I'm happily waking up in recovery...
 
My eye sight was blurry for hours after the surgery....and as soon as they let me, I walked...blurry eye sight or not.....the fear of gas pain was my motivator, I walked as often and as far as they'd let me....and continued walking every hour starting the 1st day after surgery.
 
When I was finally in a room (long delay), I felt utterly helpless and useless....like a beetle on its back.
 
I'm not a fan of pain killers......don't experience pain like most people....I only took something late at night (not sure I needed it, but thought it couldn't hurt and sleep was important.)
 
Morning came early, and the first thing I did was pee and walk...I don't think people knew what to make of me walking at 5:30 in the morning, so I just smiled and said good morning.....had the dreaded leak test this morning (wasn't so bad)....found it.hard to sip my liquids today, but wasn't too worried because I'm hooked to an IV......they are giving me prilosec in my IV, and I've never had nausea.
 
I am sore, but not in any real pain. The only pain is when I breath in deep. The biggest problem I'm facing is high blood pressure.....it's all over the map.....so they are giving me something for that.....6 hours later we finally see a break.
 
Day 2.....time to go home! Yeeha! so sick of being hooked up to an IV and having my pee measured and BP taken LOL The first thing I do is get up for my early morning walk.........and surprised how much easier it is to get up and out of that bed....wow! They give me another dose for my blood pressure.....will have my blood pressure checked on Monday with my PCP...may have to go on blood pressure medicine until some of this weight is gone (I've never been on BP meds before)
 
I was dreading the self injections.....did that this morning, and it wasn't so bad.
 
UPDATE: I did have a drain, and that for a brief second or two hat was some intense pain when it was take out---but again, very brief.
 
I haven't experienced the gas pains yet....hoping all that walking worked it out....but I'm still walking.....
 
I've experienced my restriction...took one little sip too many and felt it.....luckily it was a tiny sip and went away quickly.
UPDATED: this pain I'm experiencing is a spasm, not a restriction....will try warm liquids and see how it goes.
 
Now that I'm home, my arms are killing me.....I figure one is from the IV....no idea about the other....my IV was in my hand, and my hand is a little swollen and sore.
 
I was told the priority and goal in the next few days is to get down the isopure (1/2 bottle mixed with water).....finding it difficult, but I sip as much as I can (I found in the hospital juice and broth went down much easier LOL)
 
I haven't gained weight from the hospital (yet anyway) but I am swollen around the mid section.
 
Right now I'm feeling rather fortunate....have not had a WTH did I do moment. I'm so thankful to have a wonderful man by my side for support.
 
The things I packed that I used....a pillow (only for the ride home)....a maxidress w/o anything at the waist was great for going home with a cami underneath...a note pad/pen for notes/questions for when the doctor came in...my own tooth brush/paste, hiar brush, eye glass case, and my cell phone to check in with VST and for my email.
 
I know this is just the first step in a life long journey, but rather than anxious as I have been, I'm looking forward to the ride.....