gamergirl

I decided to spend some time on Pinterest finding "looks" I love. That's helped me a lot. I'm an hourglass and learning how to dress for my body when I get to goal was a lesson I needed to get started on. I can't see myself ever shopping at forever21 or some "kids" store but I tend to dress in classics which all large stores will carry. Of course right now my everyday clothes are jeans and t-shirts from Walmart and target because they're getting big so quickly. But my point is, for me what I need help on is the style not so much the location. Pinterest clothes shopping is a great crossover addiction that's actually guilt free!

The pant-less comment cracked me up

Isn't that a wonderful thing? Same weight soon as 11 years ago? Good for you.

So interestingly? I lived like that for two years. 800 calories a day, one meal, one snack a day. Ate more on the weekends, but during the week, very little. Lost nothing. My trainer said he'd stop working with me unless I started eating. My PCP whom I approached for weight loss surgery (band at that time) said I didn't eat enough, that wasn't going to solve the issue. I was desperate. I wasn't eating, I wasn't losing, I was fat, and I couldn't even get surgery! What the heck was I supposed to do? The NUT and the trainer both insisted I start eating so I did. I immediately put on weight. I was terrified. They reassured me it would come off. I was paying these two a lot of money out of my own pocket to help me get healthy, so I decided to listen. The NUT would text me 3 times a day to check and yell at me if I hadn't eaten. Sure enough, it did slowly come off. But yes, initially I did put on weight, just as the poster is saying happened to her. You can indeed eat so little you go into starvation and when you eat more, your body holds on to every damn calorie until it realizes the famine is over. She could well be telling the truth on what happened to her. I would have written the same post as her (minus quitting smoking). (I didn't read all the posts just the first couple of pages). Things is, I did the starvation diet because I had put on weight from eating all the wrong things. So I was fat, and the starvation wasn't helping me get thin. It's a complete mind f/ck, pardon my language.

Oh no! I took a joke seriously again! My son has been berating me and saying I've lost my sense of humor along with my stomach My bad

You're about to hit 100 lbs?? That is amazing. Good for you!

I think lying and denial are different things. Lying is when you KNOW and knowingly choose to distort the truth. Denial is when the person who is in the dark is the person with the troublesome behavior. I think sometimes we really don't know what the problem is. We're not lying. We're simply not self-aware. There's a difference. I didn't know what my problem was until a month or so ago. I wasn't willfully lying. I was ignorant. Someone calling me a liar at that point wouldn't have helped me. Someone sharing their own journey and their own self-discoveries would have helped me. It's part of why I read so many vet posts. Slowly I began to see something I had not before. Maybe that's what we owe others who are early in their journey?

Are you on the mobile site or the computer? The computer version has fewer bugs and may be worth trying.

Are you on the mobile site or the computer? The computer version has fewer bugs and may be worth trying.

Oh I'm so glad! Thanks for letting me know.

So I do track my food. I track everything I eat. But I kinda eat and drink more "normally" and I don't have to wonder should I be eating or drinking now? One thing that helped me was to get on a routine. I ate at 8, 12, 3 pm and 7 pm. That way, the alarm went off, and I ate. When I wasn't eating, I was drinking. Soon it got to be a habit. Now I get hungry at those times and there are no alarms being set to tell me what to do when. I basically eat 3 meals and 1-2 snacks and I'm good to go. The proteins I do have to track. Some days I'm low on them and then I have a shake at night. But it doesn't occupy every waking moment like it used to.

MTD: 29 miles. Need to get my butt in gear

You may not have an issue with carbs. You may be just fine with them. We didn't get fat the same way and we don't get thin the same way right? Besides who could ever be less than sweet to you?

I have to catch myself and keep from judging those who want to cheat. Didn't I also cheat on my previous diets? Of course I did. Just because I didn't cheat on my pre-op or post-op, doesn't mean that's not a legitimate, real, and sometimes insurmountable issue for some others. As you say, let's not forget where we came from and let's not judge. Some days that's hard.

It's a lot easier for me to understand it over the last few years when my carb addiction got out of control. Before that, I couldn't understand it as easily. But I also have 12 years of working with drug addicts and alcoholics under my belt. I've never been drunk or high. And I didn't understand why they couldn't quit. Months of conducting and reading their intake interviews, years of lots of reading and research and publishing in the field, years of it, now I understand it. Similarly understand why women stay in abusive relationships. I would beat the crap out of any man that tried that with me, but I understand how it happens. I do understand addiction. When I was so carb addicted that I lost control of my appetite is when I considered the surgery. The hunger was beyond "normal". The cravings were in control, not me. That's when I surrendered. Before then, I had my eating tightly under control, despite not losing weight. And I don't give a shit about fuzzy, straight talk works just fine for me I'm really glad you're participating in this thread. You've dealt with this demon on a couple of different fronts and have a lot to teach.

I think it's different for guys. I don't know that many men who put on weight without consuming large quantities of food. Women, not so much. As we age, or even after we have kids, breast feed, all of that, something changes significantly in our bodies and we can get fat on a LOT less and macro-nutrients matter a lot. I thought my husband was the first man I knew who could weigh a lot without eating a lot. Then he told me that every week when I left to go out of town, he'd binge, and was too embarrassed to tell me. He also grazed a lot even when I was home. And when we had special meals, the man could eat. Not so for me and I think based on Fluff and some other women's posts, I think it's really different for women.

The pizza, pumpkin carmel bake and pumpkin cheesecake are. The yogurt isnt, and I didn't put the protein ice cream because we basically took a shake and put it in an ice cream maker so doh! Pumpkin cheesecake: http://sleevers.wordpress.com/2013/11/09/pumpkin-cheesecake-vanilla-protein-mousse/ Caramel bake: http://sleevers.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/pumpkin-caramel-bake-high-protein-low-carb-gluten-free/ Flatout pizza: http://sleevers.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/low-carb-flatout-pizza/

I think it's the newness. At 7 weeks, I had only been eating solids for 3 weeks and it was SUCH a chore! measure, eat, drink, don't drink, drink now, oh but wait, it's time to eat now. I was driven insane. I wondered if that was how life was going to be, constantly watching the clock and trying to figure out what to do when. That part got a lot easier.

So nauseated means you feel like you're going to throw up. Nauseous means something that makes YOU want to throw up. LIke "watching the maggots crawl was nauseous". When you say I'm nauseous you are saying I'm so disgusting I make other people want to throw up when they look at me

I didn't get the sleeve for anybody but myself--and perhaps for my husband and children to have me around longer and not have to look after me. But I'm finding that my weight loss is inspiring several of my friends. Are you seeing something similar? I know I talk about my sleeve and my new eating habits ENTIRELY too much these days, but it's all so new and exciting that I can't help it. When I've traveled for work with others, I've told them all to not be guided by my hunger and eating sizes because I mean..that would be ridiculous. I'm the "boss" and I don't want them to think they can't ask for us to take a break and get food just because I don't get hungry! But inadvertently, it appears to be changing the habits of those around me. One of my employees was already doing body for life and has lost 30 lbs, but it's fun when we travel to do shakes together and we pick restaurants we can eat at. When it's time to cater meetings, she picks food that she and I can eat so our clients are eating healthier whether they like it or not, although we do get Cookies for them. But initially, doing it together really helped us stay on plan. Employee/Friend #2 asked me to help her so I set her up on MFP and gave her guidelines. I bought her a fitbit. Not only as she lost 13 lbs but she walks like a fiend! She went from 153 to 140 lbs, and as you know, when you're that little, it's hard to lose weight. To add to it, her two neighbors and she got into a competition on who could walk more. So the husband and wife next door are also walking like mad. So that's three people inspired from one fitbit. Employee #3 is moving to low carb slowly and has been asking me to help her. She like most of us, is carrying a lot of weight and as she gets older is starting to have health issues. So that's four people inspired. I'm really surprised by this, but in a good way. I really am not preaching it to others, but they see my excitement and my results and it's getting them motivated. how cool is that?? Is it making a positive difference to your friends and family?

Sorry to add even more to my long post but here was my other mal-adaptive behavior. My doctor did tell me to cut carbs when I became insulin resistant. But I didn't want to. So what did I do? I searched the internet to selectively find research to support what *I* wanted to do. Who else has read the China diet end to end but me?? I looked for research because I am trained as a scientist. But I only looked for and tried the diets that *I* wanted to. I wasn't unbiased. I kept saying I could do it my way. And my way was all carbs, no meat. The most important thing I've done post sleeve is make a deal with myself that I will not try to second guess the experts. Yes it's my body but no, I am not the expert. There's a plan here. Keep calories under 800 at the first, eat at least 60 gms of Protein, limit carbs to under 50 gms, and drink at least 64 oz of Water. It's not complicated. But most importantly, it is NOT negotiable. I say this for me, not for everyone. This is my plan and it's not negotiable. I will not be hunting on the internet for research that tells me that people lose weight with a post-sleeve diet with lots of carbs. I will not be looking for a way to eat carbs. THAT is much harder for me than fighting head hunger or not eating cake. That's the battle I need to win if I am to win this war. I still lie to myself from time to time. I tell myself life is different after the sleeve. I say that perhaps when I'm in maintenance, I may be able to eat sugar once in a while. But I won't be eating it today, and I guess that's what counts.

Kathy my other sleever is a huge success. He's already 70% of the way there and looks AMAZING. I've always loved him to pieces but now he looks so hot, I think I'm also wearing him out :-P We love doing this together. We love doing most things together and this has been an incredible journey to take together.

Wow, you should see the post I made in the enabling thread. Carbs, low fat, all of that. she and I are very alike. Butter, you've also inspired a lot of people in "internet life" though. And I can see why. First because you have been successful, and second because you take time to help others. What has surprised me is just a bit of weight loss for me has inspired others. I'm not even close to goal and I'm hardly a "success". But apparently every little bit counts.

It's actually a very interesting question and one that caused me a lot of introspection to understand WHY I put on weight. Consider my situation. 5'6, female, 47 years old, not in menopause, underactive thyroid, and acute inflammation from an autoimmune disease the latter two of which will slow down weight loss. Eats 1200-1300 calories a day most days--yes, seriously. Tracks calories religiously for years and years. You show me a food, I can tell you how many calories in it. Ate "badly" at times in one or two ways. Either starved myself on 800 calories a day for months on end, or ate 2-3 pieces of cake one week or maybe those damn little Debbie Peanut Butter things (can we say trigger foods??!). I have never eaten a whole cake, a whole pizza, a whole pint of ice cream in one sitting. I never hid my eating, binged, or purged. Never even finished my portions at restaurants. I don't drink so no junk calories there either. Could not lose weight. Could NOT lose weight. I'm not like those people that lost 100s of lbs only to put it on. I simply couldn't lose the weight (except when I was dying, two years ago). Worked out hard with a trainer for 6 months, ate 6 small meals of clean food--lost ONE pound in 6 months. I think even the trainer was ready to cry. Did Paleo, put on 10 lbs in one month. Did vegetarian diet with 2 lbs of veggies, 3 fruits, 1 c of Beans, 1 handful of nuts for 2 months, lost nothing. So WHY? WHY the hell did I weigh so much? I am not sure I know the whole answer still. But I do know one very important part of the answer. I am a sugar and carb addict. And I do not have the metabolism for it. Even today, I cannot eat a piece of fruit without being super hungry for the rest of the day. Pre-sleeve, I didn't control my carbs. Yes I ate 1200 calories, but often that was almost NO meat. Pasta, rice, lentils, veggies, fruit, no meat. I hated meat. So I think I gained weight because I ate the foods that were the WORST for me, and I didn't realize that. I do wonder what would have happened if I had eaten meat and veggies before I got sleeved. Would I still have needed the sleeve? I don't know. And notice I said I can leave them alone unless they are my trigger foods? Here's a list of my trigger foods. Cake, cake, and more cake. Donuts. Reese's pb cups. Those peanut butter bar things. Those horrid swiss cake rolls that will survive nuclear holocaust. Those things? I can't leave alone. Those, I do eat until they are gone. And notice, they are ALL sugar + fat + Flour. Deadly combination, deadly addiction. I thought I was well educated about food. I tried every diet there was--except the low carb diet because a) I wasn't sure it was good for me and I didn't want to give up my carbs--addict talk right there. There may be more to the story, it's still being written. But I don't have the "typical" signs of a food addict and therefore it's taken me a while to figure out what went wrong. I ate carbs and they caused me to crave more carbs. So I became insulin resistant, overweight, carb addicted, fat, and unhealthy. And always hungry. It was when I could no longer control the constant hunger that I gave up control and admitted I needed help, and got sleeved. Sorry for the long post but it's been an important journey for me.

So I had lunch with my friend to whom I gave the fitbit. Get this...her neighbor? Walked 252,000 steps in TWO WEEKS! That's almost 6 miles a day! And now he's in the habit so he's still doing it. Now if only *I* would do that....