gamergirl

Speaking as a devout agnostic who acknowledges there is some plan/power greater than me, but not necessarily a traditional view of God, I have always loved this forum as a way for us to explore a shared POV with other agnostics and atheists without being subject to the same "pressure" of conversion that I get in my real life so I hope this forum continues to provide that space. In the last two days, I have posted this as well as a "prayer we can all subscribe to". This one, as a clever use of words and poetry, and the other one to point out that we all wish for the same outcomes--peace, no war, caretaking, and prosperity for all. No adult ever changed their view on religion or politics due to a post by a relative stranger on the internet, so I doubt this will be the place where we either "find" or "lose" God IMHO it's okay for people to share both points of view in response to either of those posts--but proselytizing to those of a different belief system--either religious or agnostic--is not responding to the post, it's pushing an agenda, and that is I think where the rub lies. For me I'm curious to hear what other people believe, I'm not at all open to being told I should believe what they do.

Having just finished Alan Bradley's The sweetness at the bottom of the pie, I can highly recommend it as a good,, light mystery. The protagonist is 11-year old Flavia de Luce, a budding chemist who finds a dead body and sets about solving the mystery. It's part of a series.

I'm four months out and in the last three months I've averaged "only" 8 lbs a month. Sure I wish it were faster, but the fact is, I'm still down 50 lbs counting pre-op and the first months. It all adds up.

I'm glad you're not deleting it. It's quite helpful I'm sure, esp to single folks who are not yet dating.

Most of us have avoided the camera for years, and only now discovering that photos can be fun! I found this wonderful article posted by a friend of mine who is a professional photographer. It's a long read, the videos are long, and I'm an impatient person. But I can tell you, it was worth every minute. I think many women seem to know these tricks but I'm not that girly so it was all news to me, man! I'm not sure about the "Squinch" (too much like duck lips if you ask me), but the jawline portion along--how to position your head so your bone structure shows but not your double chin--is worth the time I spent on it. I hope you guys get something out of it as well! Enjoy! http://www.fastcocreate.com/3022472/always-be-squinching-and-other-tricks-from-a-portrait-photographer-for-taking-flattering-pic#6

Apart from the fact that her incredible voice will blow you away, as I watched this, I was struck by the fact that at the end of the day, believers and non-believers all want the same things. We may just have different views on what gets us there. Wonderful video to watch. http://m.godvine.com/Jackie-Evancho-s-Unbelievable-Voice-Silences-a-Room-2232.html

You look great! Congratulations!

Great question! I have lost 50 lbs and of those only 6 have been LBM. Right or wrong, I have chosen not to exercise intensely during my losing phase. I'm not eating enough to be able to really build muscle and so have focused on not losing muscle for now. As I get closer to goal, I will likely start lifting again. For me, I think excessive cardio doesn't help and I know I will lose muscle if I try that, especially since I'm eating between 600-800 calories. Based on my LBM and my desired body fat ratio (25% which is considered healthy for women), it puts my goal weight at 163 which is not at all normal BMI for someone who is 5'6, but I will never weigh 135 lbs unless I'm okay with losing muscle, which I most decidedly am not. I think body fat percentages are healthier than BMis for defining goal weight. As of accurate, I like to distinguish between accuracy and reliability. I don't know how accurate mine is, but if is super reliable.

Tired of Protein shakes? how about a protein dessert instead? Pictures and nutritional info (coming shortly) at: sugar-free Jello Instant pudding (we used pistachio) 2 scoops unflavored Protein Powder (we used NOW unflavored whey powder) 2 c skim milk Sugar-free cool whip Method Blend together the protein powder and milk as though you were making a shake. Follow directions on the pudding package to make the pudding with this protein-milk Top with a dollop of cool whip and enjoy!

That's a great pic! I made banana pudding flavor last night. Today, inspired by you, I will try lemon. This, along with my popcorn has become my nightly snack. Replaced the protein shake I used to force down each night. So glad I experimented with it.

That looks delicious! What is it? I had chicken korma that I made in a crockpot and yellow squash "noodles" but I forgot to take a pic. Oopsie.

This part I can understand well. I had my son when I was only 23 so I've been a mother forever. He needed me, then my husband did, younger one came along etc and it's been a large part of how I see myself. Work too is a large part of my self-definition and purpose. I do sometimes wonder how I would have found meaning, and in what other way I would have found purpose if I had not had children. Of course people do it all the time, but I've not done that in so long, it would be akin to defining a new life and a new me when that time comes. And yes I do think purpose grounds us like nothing else can. Have any of you read "the meaning of life?" Written by psychologist after being in a concentration camp about how people find the will to go on. And to paraphrase him, he said something like, as long as there is a WHY for living, people will find some kind of HOW to continue living.

At first it's just a very delicate, full-time coordination dance. Eat, then drink, then eat again, and it keeps on. I used a timer to tell me when to eat, and I think I ate at 8, 11, 2 and 6 or something at first. An hour after I ate, a timer went off and I started drinking. I'm four months out though and many days I still need to get 2 shakes to get all my Protein in because I too can't yet hold that much. I know that once my sleeve relaxes, I will be wishing for the days I couldn't get that much in so I try to enjoy it I'd say if in doubt, get your Water in first. Dehydration is no fun but being a few gms short on protein won't kill you as fast as the dehydration will. keep at it and just know it gets easier.

You know I don't know. I might very well be, and if you ask those close to me, they'd say I was impatient and multi-tasking constantly and they would be right. I can also focus on things for long periods of time though, such as read for hours on end, or focus on a presentation for hours so I'm not really sure. I do know I get bored easily, and my brain needs to stay stimulated. I have thought of being checked for it, but the honest truth is that to some extent, this seems to be the hallmark of success for many a senior executive. I know my impatience with details and a desire for the bottom line is a time saving mechanism that I developed as my career progressed. I used to be very detail oriented as a junior person and as I progressed, I had to become a high-level, top-line findings kind of a person. So some of that is a different way of thinking, not a different personality, if that makes sense. So I am reluctant to "drug it out of me" so to speak. But I really don't even know if I'd be diagnosed that way or not.

Is this still the atheist/agnostic's forum? Sorry I'm being cheeky. But I will add another meme that I found to be super helpful. What do you guys think about this?

I did read the study. Best practice guidelines, but not based on causation or correlation. So while I agree that one can say Ideally bougie size should be between 32-26, if they truly want us to believe that a larger than 36 size leads to weight re-gain then they should either perform correlations, or ideally a logistic regression that allows us to see what factors contribute to regain, and the role of bougie size in regain. At least in this version of the article, that was not provided. This article speaks more to gaining consensus than using data to guide best practices. Small but important difference, IMHO. I often write best practice documents for clients. But those documents list the ideal way to do things on one dimension at a time. if a client truly wants to know what combination of events leads to the best outcome, I have to create statistical models to quantify the role of each element in the outcome. I am sure many things contribute to weight regain, including the ability of the fundus to grow back. I have read of cases where that has happened, and I think in many cases it was surgical error, not patient non-compliance. I also have no trouble agreeing that people may have different capacities for stomach stretching both before and after the surgery. And of course, it's totally okay for us to have differing opinions on the bougie size issue as well . I'm just saying, the article doesn't demonstrate causation, and the fact that the difference in capacity is 1 tablespoon or less, some other facts may be at play if indeed bougie sizes contribute to weight re-gain--which latter fact was not demonstrated. Okay enough geekery on my part!

This is my worry as well. I don't want to become complacent. I'm not satisfied with my current size, mainly because I now see what is possible. Before the surgery, it would have been nothing but wishful thinking to believe I could get here. I don't want to sabotage myself just because I stopped paying attention. So difficult to pay attention when i'm bored!

okay here is a picture that shows differences in bougie size. Let's say the difference between the biggest and smallest is 1 tablespoon. And you decided to make up the difference with the highest calorie thing you could find which would be 1 tbsp of butter I'm guessing? So you know, extra 102 calories compared to your smaller bougie counterpart. It would take you 35 days of eating 1 extra tbsp of butter for you to gain a real pound. I have a hard time believing bougie's impact weight loss that much. Besides, 85% of a larger stomach is still larger than 85% of a smaller stomach so bougie size is not the only thing that impacts capacity. My husband and I were sleeved same day by the same surgeon, same bougie size. As soon as we were on solids, he could hold 4 oz, I could hold 2 oz. It's much more about behavior than about bougie, IMHO

I think if it weren't for this forum where I could talk ad nauseum about my WLS, my husband would have run away from home out of sheer boredom with me continuously talking about it! He was sleeved too, but whatever he just goes on with life. He does shop a lot more and looks amazing but he doesn't obsess about it like I do except when he has to buy smaller clothes. It definitely defined me for the first three months. Part of why work is exciting again is because my brain has shifted away from "GG who had the sleeve! Yay!" to "The old GG who loves work and family". And Arts, I think you hit the nail on the head. I do accept that this is the rest of my life. I mean let's say I hit goal tomorrow. What would I do differently? Up my calories, but I have trouble eating my calories now so it's hardly something I'm dying to do. Nothing would be different. This is it. For the rest of my life I'll be eating Protein first and drinking lots of Water and staying away from bad carbs. I ordered hundreds of dollars worth of chocolates for my clients and realized that I would never again be ordering a box of chocolates for myself. Not now, not when I'm at goal. I might eat one if I'm out somewhere, but they won't be in my house. So I do get that nothing will be different at goal. This is the rest of my life. And perhaps the fact that it is become routinized and boring is a good thing. I don't know

As others have said, you did what was right, and your job offers you a perk that it is perfectly okay to take. Hopefully your friend will get over it. I also think you could help your friend to overcome some of it. I know that I went a few weeks ahead of some people I "met" on the forum, and they liked reading my blog or my posts because it gave them an idea of what was to come. Maybe in time, your friend will see that she can learn from your experiences? You did nothing wrong.

So I don't know if this will help you or not but what works for me is to judge myself by my actions, not by my outcomes. Before you "feel like a failure", ask yourself if you did everything you could and should have done. Did you eat Protein? did you drink your fluids? did you eat junk? If you answered yes to the first two and no to the last, then you did your job. Your body needs time to do it's job. Don't obsess about what you can't control. And the fact is, we can control our actions, but I have had to accept that I do not control my weight. Some complex mechanism seems to be in charge, and it is not me. Don't judge yourself based on stuff you don't control. I will also say that there is some research out there to suggest that we stall for a while once we lose 10% of our body weight, and based on your ticker, that's how much you seem to have lost. Rest assured it will come off, just at it's own pace, not yours. Unfortunately Having said all that, I wish I could just give you a hug because I can totally relate to the frustration and hopelessness you must be feeling. ((hugs))

So am I interpreting this correctly because the corollary would be that those of us who are overweight lacked meaning and purpose in life beyond food? and I don't see myself that way. I have always had a strong sense of purpose, meaning and goals in my life. I knew what I wanted to be professionally when I was 12--a psychologist working in advertising. I was told there was no such thing, but here I am, doing just that. At 12 I decided to adopt, and I did. At 10 years old, I knew I would leave my country and live abroad, and I did. This sense of goals and purpose has continued throughout my life--yet I was overweight. While I agree that being thin doesn't solve all ills, I also don't think weight loss is simply a matter of finding purpose in life? Am I misunderstanding the article?

What?, how is that possible? Good for you. How's the insanity workout coming along?

I think her husband shit it, right E?

Really?? What a pity. It's actually one of the easiest things for my sleeve and my husbands as well. Fish and shrimp sit so much easier than beef or chicken.