gamergirl

Here's the thing. I might choose not to tell people because it's not their business. That's fine. I just don't what the deciding factor to be my SHAME. Make sense?

Your first paragraph struck a chord with me. I stopped to think about what you were saying and asked myself whose eyes I was looking at myself. Realized that there were THREE people through whose eyes I was viewing this. Three, naturally skinny women who don't have to worry about weight. Three people who mean nothing to me in my personal life. That's who I'm letting dictate my emotions! What is wrong with this picture? I hate being afraid. If I'm afraid, I go straight into whatever is scaring me so I can deal with it. So here's what I am going to do. The next time I see those women, I'm telling them straight so I can deal with my fear, and then I will move on.

LOL! Okay my husband I literally LOL'ed. You are so right.

I've heard that from people on and off my whole life depending on what my weight was doing at that time. I have an unbeatable answer that I guarantee you, will make them drop the topic. I simply tell them they only think that because they haven't seen me naked GUARANTEED conversation stopper, esp if you say that to people at work. I'm evil that way

okay that is exactly what i need. Thank you!

How fantastic! My younger son is adopted and along with having my older son and marrying my husband, best things I have ever done in life. I still remember my first look at both my boys, one when he was just born and they showed him to me, and the other when I saw him at an hour old. I cried both times How old is your boy? So exciting! And congrats on the weight loss too.

Congratulations! That's a huge difference!

Perhaps that's exactly what they do mean when they say they'll pray for us?

You look so good! Congratulations.

We were asked to stick to calcium citrate only. I ordered bariatrics advantage cinnamon thinking it would be a chew. It is not. It's a powdery, very spicy crumbling little pill and I need to replace it with something. Any suggestions? Stuck with a HUGE bottle of the cinnamon.

If I remember my celiac disease accurately, gluten-free only, yes? That means no B(arley) R(ye) O(at) & W(heat)? I think you are left with ...rice, Beans, potatoes, buckwheat, millet, amaranth, squash, corn, peas, lentils, sweet potatoes, and most fruits. Which is quite a variety really. I used to have a cookbook called Great Grains that helped me figure out how to cook some of these grains. The interwebs will be full of info no doubt. oh and quinoa as mentioned by Wls4me

my husband is/was on blood pressure meds. We're 11 days post-op and really his BP is too low for him to take them anymore. I hope that happens with you as well

What meds are you on? Because I had to go see mine and ask when I should stop taking certain meds, when I should re-start them etc. If you're not on biologics or DMARDs that might be okay, but if you're on anything regular, you will probably need to consult with her before then. Just a thought, but it maybe different if she realizes you're not asking for permission, you are TELLING her that your surgery is happening and asking her help in navigating your RA meds while you do this thing (with your own life and body)

My surgeon said 3 weeks to heal and not to take the meds until then.

Cheri, from an outsider's vantage point, Judaism is lived and practiced very differently to Christianity in this country, at least to my untutored eye. Judaism is not just about a belief expressed occasionally, it's about a lifetime of traditions and spills into everyday life, e.g., Shabbat, Kosher, a different set of holidays, Bar- and Bat-Mitsvah's etc.) This is more how I grew up seeing religion practiced. You could walk into a person's house in India (at least when I lived there) and eat their food and listen to them talk, and know their religion. This was a culture shock for me in this country because as luck would have it, I first met people who were not what I think what "true" Christians would want us to be. So what I saw was sporadic and conventionally acceptable behavior with re church, but not living life by proscribed values. My point is being Jewish seems to be about more than going to Temple. And despite the vast diaspora of Jews, you could go to any Passover any where in the world, and still find the rituals familiar. So I can see how not being on the same "page" on that is a lot more difficult than some other religions. But perhaps I just have out-group homogeneity bias Despite my devout agnosticism as I call it, had I married a Jewish man, I would have allowed my kids to be raised in that fashion, not because of the religious beliefs, but because of a set of rituals, a way of living, a permanence of sorts, that ultimately leads to a feeling of Community. And isn't that what it's supposed to be all about? Finding our place, our home amongst others?

My firm belief is that relationships do well when people are compatible (complementary, not identical), on four levels. Mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. People's definitions and beliefs vary, but when I look at my past relationships that "failed", I see I compromised on one of those dimensions, justifying to myself that no one ever met a perfect match, "but everything else is so good" etc. This time, I was determined to get a match on all FOUR levels and I have never been happier. My husband probably cringes and waits for a thunderbolt when my kids and I are so casual about all of it and verge on what others might consider blasphemy, but he too is not into organized religion. So we're not identical, but neither one of us wants to go worship formally once a week, and that is a good enough match to make life together fun. My two cents, worth about 1 penny today Curious to hear others' stories too. Butter if we've completely hijacked your thread beyond repair, let us know and we'll try to go back to where you started. But I will say, I'm enjoying hearing the various views expressed here.

search this forum for "3 weeks stall" posts first. You are in good company

wow! you look GREAT! Congratulations!

Congratulations that's amazing! This link will give you some prices for a doc in Mexico that many on this forum love, but agree with twinsmama, the plastic surgery forum will have more details for you. http://www.medicaltourism.com.mx/mtpl.html

Much of what you say is why I struggled with my choice to pull my son out of it. I feel like I deprived him of some good, old-fashioned, leadership training, persistence and diligence in the face of challenges, and some group-bonding opportunities. If they had kept to the Boy Scouts bit of it, there was nothing to argue about. It's like Butter said earlier, this jumbled combination of politics and religion, Christianity being represented by SOME as exclusionary, and the Boy Scouts becoming suddenly about exclusion, where things get complicated.

I have tried hard to believe over the years. There's a lot of research to suggest that those who believe in a higher power have more positive mental health outcomes, so I have kept an open mind. My father is Hindu, my mother was Sikh, my best friend was Muslim, and I went to Catholic convent schools all my life. There was plenty to choose from. And I tried it all. I have read the Bible in it's entirety (except the begats), I've read the Gita, the Mahabharat and the Ramayana, and portions of the Koran. I am very familiar with the precepts of the Jewish faith. I've been to temples (Indian and Jewish), churches of many, many denominations (Methodist, Unity, non-denominational, Catholic, Presbyterian, Unitarian etc.). And I feel like a fraud in every one of them because that THING that I should feel in my heart, I don't. I would love to experience this thing that brings peace to so many. But for whatever reason, that is not my path. One day I will tell you guys all the series of "coincidences" that allowed me to adopt my younger son from start to finish in 2.5 weeks, and you will see why I have no trouble believing there is a larger plan, beyond my ken. I also have no trouble believing there is a higher power. Heck, I know PEOPLE who are more powerful than me, so that one is easy to accept. But that omnipotent, omnipresent, vengeful, anthropomorphic version of convention---I don't feel it. Like I said, for me, it's not a matter of choice.