Scotty
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1 month till my band-scared about hunger
Scotty replied to smellycat's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I totally understand the sense of loss. I'm not panicking about it, but am wondering how I'll cope without the distraction of eating. I am being banded tomorrow morning and am pretty scared. In fact, I can't quite believe I'm doing it. Yesterday I went to my favourite Japanese restaurant and had a beautiful meal. I was really saying goodbye to over-eating. I ordered more than I needed - that's for sure, but as it's all good Protein I didn't leave feeling 'stuffed'. I had three small plates (which together made a big meal) but felt comforted in the thought that one of them (particularly the silken tofu with bonito flakes) will be just as perfect when I am back on solids! Going there when I'm back on solids for three pieces of the best sashimi will be my reward to myself. I am more worried about getting through the first phase. I am genuinely scared of being hungry and terrified my will power won't be enough. Oh, well...onwards and downwards! -
Some very kind people suggested i post a new thread. I initially posted under a thread about secrecy which touched a chord with me. I'm having surgery this Friday in London and so far, have only told one friend who has just gone on holiday - to Antarctica! So he's not much use! I haven't even told my mother, to whom I regard myself as being close. However, she is a terrible worrier who usually manages to turn most of my problems into her own which results in me spending all my time reassuring her rather than the other way around. I know I'll get the 'I didn't sleep a wink' treatment from her if I do tell her. On the other hand, I am terrified that something goes wrong and she'll end up finding out anyway and she'll be really hurt. But at some point I'll have to tell her and I think she'll be hurt anyway. I've almost told her 100 times but she had her own medical problems just before Christmas and it didn't seem like a good idea. She also lives a long way away and I would have to tell her on the phone, which isn't ideal. I would like the support of someone but I feel all my friends, good as they are, would judge me somewhat. Partly this is because they all love me as I am and I don't think any of them realise what pain my excess weight has caused me all my life. I doubt there has been an hour that has passed in my adult life when I haven't thought about my weight. The person I told understands because he too has struggled with his weight all his life. Everyone else in my immediate circle is pretty gorgeous and 'normal'! Also, I don't think Brits are as accepting of WLS as people in the US seem to be. There is very much an attitude here that obesity is all about a lack of self-control and that is very unBritish! I suppose what I am really saying is that I am embarassed to admit that I am having this done. it would be far easier to admit having plastic surgery, which, thanks to all those US imports on TV like Extreme Makeover etc, is becoming positively normal! But i have been reading the message boards a lot recently and so admire all the support you give each other. I'm looking forward to becoming part of the community. Any words of comfort at this, the difficult 3 day out stage, would be very, very gratefully received. I also have a practical question. I live alone and will be coming home after 2 nights in hospital. Will I be able to lift things - not weights or anything, but say pick up my shoes, put on socks, empty my suitcase? Thanks in advance. By the way, I haven't weighted myself recently but I think I'm around the 17stone mark - that would be around 240lbs at 5'6" BMI 39. My target weight is 140lbs - the weight I was when I graduated.
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Thank you so much for all your comments! I can't tell you how good it feels to have such support. Isn't the Internet amazing! In 48 hours I'll be in the hospital. 7am arrival. I've decided not to tell my mother until after the procedure. What Zoe said is right and my instinct and experience tells me that if i tell her about this, I'll spend all my time reassuring her and not thinking about myself. I spoke to Mum last night and asked her to come and visit later this month and she started to recite a list of engagements she had! Which is a good thing - I like that she is so busy as she is a widow. Since my father died the roles have definitely reversed in our relationship! I have another friend, Peter, who I told I was going into hospital for a minor op but not what kind. He said he would come and visit me on Friday and has already agreed to come and see me every day after the op. He lives near by. I'll probably tell him the whole truth soon. Right now, I don't want to give him the chance to try and dissuade me. I feel I have spent the last week mourning my relationship with food. I keep trying to imagine what it will be like when the relationship changes. I have been single for a long time and I suppose food has been the most important relationship in my life. I work in TV and have worked on a lot of cooking shows including Two Fat Ladies, Naked Chef, MasterChef. To be honest, working on those shows is when my weight started to soar. I'm a good cook and love cooking for my friends - I even dated a very famous chef for a while. I know that doesn't have to stop but I am worried about saying goodbye to the joy of enjoying a long langurous meal with friends. However, I know that I have to get control and ultimately that is the aim here and the benefits of being slim all the time far outweigh the short term pleasure in eating to excess. Did anyone else feel that sense of loss in advance of their op? Again, thanks to you all. PS Finally worked out how to get my pic online!
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I'm having surgery this Friday in London and so far, have only told one friend who has just gone on holiday - to Antarctica! So he's not much use! I haven't even told my mother, to whom I regard myself as being close. However, she is a terrible worrier who usually manages to turn most of my problems into her own which results in me spending all my time reassuring her rather than the other way around. I know I'll get the 'I didn't sleep a wink' treatment from her if I do tell her. On the other hand, I am terrified that something goes wrong and she'll end up finding out anyway and she'll be really hurt. But at some point I'll have to tell her and I think she'll be hurt anyway. I've almost told her 100 times but she had her own medical problems just before Christmas and it didn't seem like a good idea. She also lives a long way away and I would have to tell her on the phone, which isn't ideal. I would like the support of someone but I feel all my friends, good as they are, would judge me somewhat. The person I told understands because he too has struggled with his weight all his life. Everyone else in my immediate circle is pretty gorgeous and 'normal'! I don't know what the point of this posting is really! But i have been reading the message boards a lot recently and so admire all the support you give each other. I'm looking forward to becoming part of the community. Any words of comfort at this, the difficult 3 day out stage, would be very, very gratefully received.