luvmyiggy

My initial weightloss is expected to be higher than most because I weighed almost 500 pounds when I started. My doctor told me that the first 100 would be very fast and the next 100 would slow down and then after that I will end up at a normal weight loss. I have been told by several doctors and have read over and over that folk who start out at 500 or over tend too lose thieir first 100 - 200 pounds very quickly. So far this has been true for me becasue I have lost 35 pounds in just 2 months. Plus I am eating more than has been suggested and still face some hunger after meals.

Two weeks ago I had a fill done. It was 1 cc. It was my 4th fill. When I got home I was only able to sip water, and even then it was hurting. If I took a normal drink it would come back up. I called the clinic and they had me come in for an unfill of .5 cc. That took care of it. I was then able to drink with out any problems. I am also eating solid foods fine. There have been some changes...I can no longer eat bread and potatos with out feeling stuck. But I am still able to eat more than I want to be eating. Since my last fill had to be "let out" some does that mean I can't have any more fills? Does that mean that I am as full as I can be? I am worried that I don't have the restriction I need yet and won't be able to have anymore fills. I also weighed today and I have only lost 3 pounds since my last fill.

I weigh 444 pounds and my ideal weight is 140 pounds. Is that even possible? Is there anyone out there who has done it?

I am sick of feeling like I am 80 years old when I am not even 30 yet.

I was talking to one of the ladies at my surgeon's office about all of this one day. I had noticed that one of my payments was less that one of the other ladies I had seen in the waiting room. What my Dr.'s assistant said was that because I was a self pay patient (my ins. would not cover it) the office staff has a lot less work to do in dealing with me. She said the insurance applications, approvals, and follow up paperwork takes a lot more time than we all realize. More time means more money and they have to defer that cost to the paitient. I figure your doctor may be charging a flat fee up front because they may put all of this time and effort into things for 3 or 6 months and the someone gets rejected, the office has spent a lot of time dealing with the insurance company and they won't get reimbursed for that. It sounds cold, but when she told me they have 2 people devoted to insurance company work it really put it in prespective. Does that make any sense? Please pardon my spelling I am typing on the fly.

I am at 465 and I don’t necessarily think your road is easier, but I don’t believe that you could possibly understand what I go through. How do you think I feel when someone who is 250 talks over and over about how huge they are? It feels like crap because if you think you are huge, I can’t imagine what you think of me. I see and hear people all of the time talk about how awful being in a size 28 is. I am a 38 and the only place I can find clothes is online and the clothes are ugly. I don’t have trouble fitting in airline seats or waiting room seat because I don’t fit in them at all. I have had bruises on my hip a large number of times from trying to force my way into a seat. I don’t know how many times I have had to stand because I could not fit in any of the seats. Talk about gaining some attention and stares. Also, lower BMI folks often look at me and go “Thank God I am not that fat”. I often say that I am so fat that even fat people make fun of me…and it is true. And, how many people do you know that weight around 250? I can’t even count how many I know. I only know one person who is larger than I am, or that weighs what I weigh. That means I only have one person who knows what it is like that can give me support. I am always the fattest person in the room. Even at my bariatric Dr.’s office. I am terrified that I am going to die any day now…and I am only 28. I am humiliated to think of how big my casket would have to be and how many people it would take to carry me. I can’t fit in MRI or CT machines. I am too heavy to have a stress test done because none of equipment can hold me. There have been many tests that Dr’s have wanted to run, but they can’t because I am so heavy. Most scales can’t even weigh me. I would have to order one online and they are prohibitively expensive. The look on the nurse’s face when I tell her the scale won’t weigh me makes me want to crawl in a hole and cry. The only Dr.’s office that I go to that has a scale to weigh me is my Bariatric Surgeon’s. I have been in a wreck and would not let the ambulance take me to the hospital because I didn’t want to have to see them trying to figure out how to get me in the ambulance. I just waited and let my husband take me. When I fall I break bones because of my weight. I don’t just get bruises. And no, I don’t have any bone abnormalities. People sneer and make comments on what I have in my basket at the grocery store. The people at restaurants look at me like I shouldn’t be there because the last thing I need to do is eat. I don’t fit in booths. The waiters automatically know that by looking at me. They don’t even ask if I want a booth or a table. I have to special order my bras because there is not a place to get them as large as I need. I work with children and I am always worried about a child throwing up on me because I can’t just run to Target and get a new shirt. I have to go all of the way home. I worry about a house fire and other disasters because if my clothes are destroyed I would be without clothes until I could get some ordered online. It sounds dumb to worry about this if you have never been in my shoes, but when you are as big as I am you have to think about these things. Think of how different your life would be if you knew you could not possibly run to the mall or run to a specialty shop and find underwear and clothes. And you sure wouldn’t pay $25 or $30 for a shirt, it would be more like $50 or $60 and God forbid you need something dressy. It even effects getting a job. Not just because of people looking at me badly but I also have a very hard time finding clothes that fit into the business dress code. I don’t know how many toilet seat I have broken because of my weight. It is really humiliating when I am over at someone’s house because I becomes obvious who did it. I am sure I could ramble on, but hopefully this list gives you a better picture. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

Thank you so much. I really needed those pep talks. You all are so right. I guess I just needed to hear it from other people. You all are kind and uplifting. Thank you.

I had surgery a week and a half ago. I am still on my post op diets and I am doing well. The problem is that my first fill is a month away. I am going to be starving for a month! I am so sick of being hungry. I was on a liquid diet the 2 weeks before my surgery too, so I am really going crazy. I know I am being a baby. Please, I need some encouraging words. :help:

By this time tomorrow I will be banded. I can't stand myself I am so excited. I bet I don't sleep a wink tonight. Ok my goodness, oh my goodness. Less than 24 hours!

Thank yo so much. That is a lot of good advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to write that post. I gives me other ideas to. You ROCK!

I am on my 10th day of my liquid diet. All I have had it protien shakes. It gets eaiser every day. I am no longer hungry and I only feel empty when it is getting time for me to have another shake. I have been treating this as somewhat of a detox like they do for heroin addicts. It has also given me some time to really focus on my addiction and my thinking. I promise it gets better. I kind of enojoy it now. I don't have to go through all of that crap when trying to pick out something to eat. That was always so stressful for me. I want this, but I shouldn't have it...but I want it so bad. No...I should eat something healthy, but I don't want that. Then all of the horrible things I would say to myself. Arrrrrggggg. Hang in there you will make it. Just think....if you can do this you truly can do ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I first got my surgery date about two weeks ago you could not peel me off the ceiling I was so excited. But now my excitement is fading fast and being replaced with nerves and discoragement. There is no doubt in my mind that I need to do this, I am just starting to get worried about the results. I weigh 465 and I am scared that I am not going to be able to lose enough to make a real difference. For someone who weighs as much as I do 100 pounds doesn't make that much of a difference. I noticed that with a friend of mine who had it done. He weighed a bit more than I do, but he lost 120 and people were just starting to notice. They thought he had lost about 40 pounds. What a slap in the face. I am just scared of getting discoraged and getting depressed. Is it realistic to lose 250 pounds? I haven't met or seen anyone yet who was able to get even close to a "normal" weight when they started out weighing what I weigh. I am I being unrealistic?

Well I am very excited as I am sure you all can imagine. I am 5 ft. 9 in. tall and I weight 465. (I am so fat that even fat people make fun of me...those of you who weight what I weigh know what I mean.) Besides getting rid of a ton of weight I am also hoping my boobs shrink drastically. I have been trying to donate them to science for a long time, but the bastards don't want them. I am on a 2 week liquid diet and it is going very well. I haven't had a whole lot of cravings and I no longer feel hungry unless it is time for another shake. I have been thinking of it as somewhat of a detox like a drug addict would have to go through. I am seriously considering staying on the protien shake diet until my first fill. I am going to talk to my Dr. about that. A few things about me that's not realated to weight: I have been married for 10 years. I was very lucky and found a wonderful guy. He supports me in everything I do. I have a social work degree and I work for Child Protective Services as an investigator. And yes, it takes a huge emotional toll. I often have nightmares and deal with some of the sickest people out there. I also feel like my coworkers, my husband and myself are the only human beings on earth that don't use drugs. I am so sick of Meth I could just scream. I have no children, but have 5 dogs and a cat. They are our children. They bring a huge amount of joy to my life. I can't wait until I can take them for walks and play with them at the dog park. I guess that is all I can think of right now. Sorry for being so long winded.