Changing4ever

[size=4][color=#222222]I’m a 43 yr. old [i][b]Proud [/b][/i]mother of a 20yr old son, married to a wonderful man who has never been overweight a day in his
50 yr. life. My story is just the opposite of that, I feel I have struggled with my weight all my life.

I was active in sports from the time I was 6 yrs. old thru High School. I played soccer, softball, volleyball, and ran track. I was always a tomboy and was never the tiny dainty girl. My first battle with feeling fat was when I was in 5th grade. I remember the school nurse lining us up to weigh us. I was probably 2 ft. taller than anyone in my class and most girls weighed in at 70lbs.. me, I was 102 pounds (YES, I remember the exact weight!). That was the start of my mental issues with weight. I matured fast and didn’t have the body of a 5th grader, but I was different and felt like an amazon woman. I was taller than most of the boys and very muscular (soccer legs). I didn’t wear the same kind of clothes and it was a memory that stuck with me my whole life. I remember one time going back to play soccer and my coach telling me I needed to get running that I had plumped up since the last time he'd seen me. I vividly remember in 6th grade all the girls talking about what size jeans they were wearing.... size 5 was the key... me, I was a size 7-9. (oh what I would give to be that size now!). By 10th grade, I weighed 140lbs.... I swore to myself that I would never weigh more than that! My best friend and I would walk to the store every day... they had a 5 cent digital scale, and we would weigh every day. My senior prom, I dreaded going to buy a dress (good grief, what size would it be, could I even find one that would fit). My dress was a size 11... how could this be, it was the last size before moving to the women’s department! I gained another 10 lbs. before graduating High School,, topping the scale at 150 lbs. Now we all know, that was not the fat cow that I thought I was, but it wasn’t the 120lbs that I had been brain washed to believe was "the" weight.

After High School with no more sports and working for a living- eating fast food and eating late at night,, the pounds packed on. By 20 yrs. old, I weighed 190 lbs... I remember my gynecologist weighing me and saying "do you realize you have gained 40 lbs. in a year".... well duh! Yeah, because I have nothing to wear and I’m sinking into a deep depression. I didn’t want to see anyone from my high school days and was so self-conscious. From the girl who wanted to be out and about going and doing,,, to a hermit. No one could see me like this.

When I got pregnant at 23 I weighed 212 lbs. Everyone was telling me that I was going to have a 10lb baby and that my weight was a major risk factor. I only gained 20 lbs. with my pregnancy, and my son was a healthy 8lbs. After the pregnancy,, that was another story. I packed the pounds on. I was now was a size 22 and over 240lbs. For the next 10 years, I would lose 40-60 pounds (getting back to a size 12, which I still considered to be a COW) and then gain it back. I could dedicate myself to losing weight and exercise, but just couldn’t keep the weight off. When I got married in 2005, I was me, my husband, and 2 teenage boys.... can you say food fest. I wanted to eat everything they ate. I mean come on.. I was fixing all the meals and buying the groceries, why should I be the only one deprived?!

So here I am, 43, 250lbs borderline high blood pressure, back and knee issues, embarrassed to meet any of my husband’s friends, embarrassed to meet any of my sons College friends and about as active as a turtle. What happened to me? So this is the start of my new life......finding me again!

I had my surgery on Sept 3rd 2013. I’m 12 days post op, down 25lbs, and beginning my new journey to a new healthy active me. I’ll keep you posted how it’s going.[/color][/size]