tizen33

Wow- so in some ways I regret including my weight in my journal name. It just kinda freaks me out everytime I see it and think of everyone else that sees it and what must go through their minds. But when I've read other people's journals- especially when I first started looking into weight loss surgury I wanted to know where they started at and what kind of progress they've made. I also figure that as the weight comes off it will be motavational to be reminded everytime I do some journaling of where exactly it was when I began. I haven't changed my eating habits yet really. I have cut out the majority of fluid calories I consume in a day. I used drink probably close to 1000 cals a day. Now it's more like 150 or less- basicly just milk. I also have begun a slow introduction back into physical activity. I have an excersize bike and have started riding again. Real slow at first- I'm only riding a mile and a half at a time. Next week I will go up to 2 miles at a time. I figure once I go to the dietician my eating habits will really have to change. Or at least at some point soon there after. I have a hard time not justifying food sinse "I won't be able to have that later so I should eat it now while I still can". I already did this to the amount of about 15lbs. It is all part of the yo-yo'ing I've been doing for years. Oh well- I am ready for things to move along and of course it won't seem fast enough. But as the weeks go by my goal is to take little steps to change my poor behaviors by slowly replacing them with good ones. In the past I've always jumped onto whatever the next diet bandwagon was 150%. I'd stick to whatever plan long enough to see results then eventually I'd get burned out. Befor long I always go back to my old ways and gain all weight back that had been lost. I want to change for good this time. The implementing good behaviors slowly I got from listening to John Tesh- I figured I've tried other methods of changing my ways might as well try this one. I'm looking at losing weight like when I quit smoking. It was and is a continuous battle. I quit numerous times befor it finally stuck. But I finally quit. So the lapband is like the patch in a way- except I don't think the lapband can keep me from killing people- which the patch did. If any of you has ever been addicted to nicotine you understand the intense withdrawls you go through and I'm not kidding about it saving other peoples lives. But I can't wait to get banded so I can have that tool to help me win this battle! Goodnight to all.

height: 5' 7" weight: 277 BMI: 64 It is crazy to me that I am putting this out there for whoever wants to read it and yet my husband doesn't even know exactly what I weigh. He has a real good idea but not the exact digits. Like by my not telling him it isn't as bad as it actually is. Kind of like how my drivers license says I weigh 200. I haven't weighed that sinse around 1994. It's been awhile. But it is time to face reality and own up to the fact that I am morbidly obese- I have let myself go further and further each year. I have been a pretty regular dieter the past 13yrs or so. I can lose 20-45 lbs befor I crash. I either get sick of no carbs, or tired of shakes, or quit excersizing, or quit counting calories because I want to eat. I have used food for comfort- to fill a void and I have created a vicious cycle in my life that needs to be broken. I am ready to begin the healing process. I am ready for my butt to quit being the thing that grows and instead have things like spiritual growth,confidence and self-worth back in my life. I have begun tackling the mental reason behind my eating. I really believe that will be a huge key to not only losing weight but achieving the internal happiness that I have been lacking. I began researching gastric bypass and banding about six months ago. At first I really wanted to bypass. I wanted the finality of it. I wanted to have no way out of losing weight. I was taking the wrong approach at that time. Even if I had chosen bypass- my mind still needed to make a shift. It took time and a lot of reading journals online to see that surgury is only a tool. I believe it is a powerful tool if used properly. I've made the shift and actually after a lot of research the band just makes so much sense. And I am so excited.... as well as a little nervous and scared.:phanvan The company I work for recently got bought out which was a huge blessing for me. My previous insurance didn't cover any kind of weight loss surgury. I was prepared to find a way to finance it- I and my health- are worth it! But luckily our new insurance overs everything. Yippee! So today I had my psych evaluation. There were 5 tests- 4 of them were not bad. The other one was almost 600 questions. Not terrible, but time consuming and can you say hand cramp? By the way I am not afraid of the dark (they asked that question like 6 times). The Doctor said after our 10 minute talk, that I am a perfect canidate and he has seen this surgury help a lot of people. First step down..... it has begun. I have an appointment with my primary doctor the 9th to get a refferal for a sleep apnea test. Then the 17th I have my appointment with the dietician. On the 27th I go to the required support group. I am on my way. :car:

height: 5' 7" weight: 277 BMI: 64 It is crazy to me that I am putting this out there for whoever wants to read it and yet my husband doesn't even know exactly what I weigh. He has a real good idea but not the exact digits. Like by my not telling him it isn't as bad as it actually is. Kind of like how my drivers license says I weigh 200. I haven't weighed that sinse around 1994. It's been awhile. But it is time to face reality and own up to the fact that I am morbidly obese- I have let myself go further and further each year. I have been a pretty regular dieter the past 13yrs or so. I can lose 20-45 lbs befor I crash. I either get sick of no carbs, or tired of shakes, or quit excersizing, or quit counting calories because I want to eat. I have used food for comfort- to fill a void and I have created a vicious cycle in my life that needs to be broken. I am ready to begin the healing process. I am ready for my butt to quit being the thing that grows and instead have things like spiritual growth,confidence and self-worth back in my life. I have begun tackling the mental reason behind my eating. I really believe that will be a huge key to not only losing weight but achieving the internal happiness that I have been lacking. I began researching gastric bypass and banding about six months ago. At first I really wanted to bypass. I wanted the finality of it. I wanted to have no way out of losing weight. I was taking the wrong approach at that time. Even if I had chosen bypass- my mind still needed to make a shift. It took time and a lot of reading journals online to see that surgury is only a tool. I believe it is a powerful tool if used properly. I've made the shift and actually after a lot of research the band just makes so much sense. And I am so excited.... as well as a little nervous and scared.:phanvan The company I work for recently got bought out which was a huge blessing for me. My previous insurance didn't cover any kind of weight loss surgury. I was prepared to find a way to finance it- I and my health- are worth it! But luckily our new insurance overs everything. Yippee! So today I had my psych evaluation. There were 5 tests- 4 of them were not bad. The other one was almost 600 questions. Not terrible, but time consuming and can you say hand cramp? By the way I am not afraid of the dark (they asked that question like 6 times). The Doctor said after our 10 minute talk, that I am a perfect canidate and he has seen this surgury help a lot of people. First step down..... it has begun. I have an appointment with my primary doctor the 9th to get a refferal for a sleep apnea test. Then the 17th I have my appointment with the dietician. On the 27th I go to the required support group. I am on my way. :car: