TexasBecky

Tomorrow is the first day of my banded life! My surgery is at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon. I am so ready to get on with this. I found out at my pre-op visit last week that I'm getting the AP band. Woo Hoo! I'm spending one night in the hospital so I'll try to check in here on Friday. Tomorrow is the first day of my banded life. :clap2:

<p>Unfortunately I can never completely put the heavy days behind me forever, no matter how much I lose. People have a history with me. New friends don't know about my ups and downs and that is always a refreshing dynamic, but family and old friends are another story. If I lose alot of weight I am forever more the girl who use to be so heavy. If I regain weight I am the girl who lost all the weight and regained it. If I lose it and keep it off forever, I am still the girl who lost all that weight. There are pictures that will forever torment me. I have to accept that other people's reactions are not always what I wish they were and try to recognize that those around me are only human. I like to think that most of them don't mean to hurt my feelings. They can't help but think of the former me and I just have to deal with it as one of the side effects of having been MO. This whole process is just so complicated. If only it was all about the physical. It's the emotional stuff that you're not expecting that can throw you for a loop.

Julie, how was the trip home for the wedding? Did you see people you hadn't seen in a long time? I hope you got lots of ooohs and aaahs (not taking anything away from the bride of course). Were you able to get through the airports without buying skittles? Fill us in.

Sharon, don't give up. Are there other lapband doctors/facilities in your area? If your insurance is already approved maybe another facility has a different policy.

Oh Jachut, you are what I want to be when I grow up. LOL! You seem to have such a healthy, balanced attitude about food now. I can't even imagine how good it must feel to be satisfied with a small portion of something delicious. Do you think the band has gotten you to this stage or is it just a dramatic change in your thinking, or is it both? My fear is that the band will change my physical capacity but that I wont be able to make the mental leap. I know you are a serious exerciser and I'm sure that helps, but what do you really think has made the biggest difference? Tell me your secret, please. Becky

I started my pre-op on July 18. It consist of 3 oz. of lean protein 3 times a day and 6 servings of vegetables. No carbs at all. I can fill in with sugar free popsicles, jello, etc. I'm hungry most of the time, but it is my norm to eat alot and never experience hunger. I just keep telling myself that it is only until August 2. I have a very good doctor and I'm determined to do everything just the way he says (I have to remind myself of this about 100 times a day).

<p>It could be your scales or water retention or adding muscle mass or any number of normal bodily flucuations. You are doing all the right things. Have you been tracking your measurements? Sometimes the way your clothes fit is the best indicator. Don't weight too often and don't get discouraged!</p>

Indiogirl, I'm glad you are home and feeling better. What an ordeal! Try not to over do now. Take it slow and easy follow the doctor's instructions carefully (cheese puffs?) FaithMD posted a really informative piece yesterday about the importance of staying on the liquid phase the full time for proper healing and to avoid complications later on. I wish I new how to make a link to it but look for it under the Food thread titled "kind of blew it..." Good luck!

Alexandra and Jack, I so appreciate your experience and wisdom. As I get closer and closer to my band date the biggest remaining fear is fear of failure. I look here for the encouragement and support that I need and to be reminded that I ultimately hold the key to changing my life forever. I'm reaching for the light!

Faith, thanks for the detailed explanation about the stages. That is really good information to have. I am always impressed by your posts. You're so knowledgeable and helpful to everyone. I'll be banded on August 2 and you are the one I'll be looking for to answer my questions. Thanks again for the good advice.

Holly, I think you've expressed the way many of us feel about our dysfunctional relationship with food. I turned 50 and started my pre-op diet on Thursday and the combination had me in a serious funk for several days before. Regreting that I've let it come to this, etc. But I'm now trying to put all that thinking behind me and move on to this next stage of my life. I do really regret all the time I've spent in my love/hate relationship with food and what it has done to me physically and emotionally. Regret, however is a waste of energy because there is nothing I can do now to take it back. We are fortunate that we have this chance to start fresh. I know I am going to miss eating the way I have most of my life, but the food never did fix anything. I turned to it when I was happy, sad, angry, afraid, tired, lonely, bored. It was always a fast pleasureable fix, but like any addiction, it doesn't really help any of those emotions and creates a whole new set of problems. We simply have to learn a new way of thinking about food and its purpose in our lives. I'm really hopeful that the band will be a tool toward that goal. I'm scared and excited about the future. I know I can do this and so can you. Robin, you've gotten off to a great start. Don't get discouraged now. Try spending more time on this forum. It sounds like you need support and encouragement. I know from years of yo-yo dieting how difficult it is to stay strong, determined, and focused on the long term goal. You can do it though. Your band is there to help. Keep reading and posting and asking questions. Don't sabotage yourself. We all understand and are in this together.

Hi Crazy Ates. I have started my 2 week pre-op diet leading up to my surgery on August 2. I am allowed 3 oz. of lean Protein 3 times a day and 6 servings of vegetables a day. That's it. No carbs at all. I know it could be worse (all liquid) but I am soooooooo hungry. I can do anything for 2 weeks though, so I'm going to be very good and get my liver shrunk down just like the doctor wants it. I am on my third day and it is actually getting a tiny bit easier. I gained 8.5 pounds from my initial consult on May 23 until my appointment with the nutritionist on July 17!! I shouldn't have been surprised. I had many "last suppers". Of course I now wish I hadn't done that, but eating regrets are not new to me. I am however, looking forward to them being a thing of the past. I have been up and down emotionally since I got my surgery date, but I am starting to feel consistently good about this decision and anxious to start a whole new life style. Has any one watched the video of an actual lap band surgery? I'm trying to get up the nerve to watch it. Someone posted that it will make you want to stick to the pre-op diet when you see the liver being moved out of the way. Might be motivating but I just don't know whether I want to see it or not. Judi, I hope you have a great time at the beach. I don't envy you having to start the pre-op while you're still on vacation, but I'm sure you will do fine. Did you ever get any appetite suppressants from the doctor? I wish I had some about now. Good luck to all of you who are getting ready to start the pre-op. You can do it!

Guysis, good for you! Such a smart decision - you inspire me to do the right thing instead of the easy thing. Becky

Bubble you need to do a reality check. You've lost 83 lbs with only 19 to go to goal. You ARE NOT still the fat chick and obviously you are not completely hopeless either. You've lost all this weight and are exercising like crazy. You've done a great job and should be celebrating your accomplishments. If you want to join a gym you should. Everything that MarieCarmen said is so true. Other people may give a split seconds thought to what we look like and then they are back focused on their on stuff. Anyway, I'm confident that there will be someone bigger than you at the gym. Most importantly, try to remember that it is a waste of your time and energy to worry what someone else that you don't even know thinks of you.

Thanks Judi. I was afraid I was sounding a little like a deadbeat. You sound like a super high energy gal - a good one to have on the team. That trait should also serve you well on the weight loss and exercise path. Also, now we know who to call when its time to clean out the garage. hehe

Hi Valzie & Stonersmom! Glad ya'll are joining the Crazy Ates. We are growing every day and soon we will all be losing every day! Can't wait to get started and I'm so glad to have a bunch of new friends on the same journey.

<p>Judi, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. But it makes my head hurt just looking at the list. You can count on me to be full of questions and comments, to be supportive of everyone, and to ask for support when I need it. I'll be one of the first to be banded in August (on 8/2) and I hope to be a great example, but with so much still unknown I can't commit to any more than that right now. Becky</p>

I'm TexasBecky and my surgery will be in Dallas on August 2. Woo Hoo!

I’ve been thinking a lot about self image/body image lately because I think those issues have always contributed to my regaining weight in the past. I would like to get to a point where I can be satisfied with the results of my weight loss rather than continuing to see a flawed body in the mirror no matter how much weight I lose. No matter how nice people said I looked, I always knew how imperfect I really was. I’ve mostly thought of my body as my enemy – the source of much misery, shame, and embarrassment throughout my life. I have decided to take a different approach this time. This body has been subjected to a lot of abuse and neglect by me. I’ve overfed and under exercised it for years. I’ve criticized it, cried about it, and tried to hide it. Still, it has continued to do its job of getting me around and allowing me to do satisfying work. I’ve been able to have two wonderful children and a successful marriage, take care of my home, travel, and generally enjoy a rich and rewarding life. It is a miraculous machine that is incredibly resilient in spite of what I’ve done to it. Instead of continuing to focus on everything that’s wrong with it, I’m going to try to accept and appreciate it for a change. I still want to lose the excess weight to look and feel better, but this time I’m going to really try to appreciate it more and be less critical of its outward appearance. I'll probably need some reminding, so when you catch me complaining or feeling sorry for myself I would appreciate a kick in the pants. Hopefully much smaller pants.

That's fantastic news. I know how excited you must be. I was approved a few weeks ago and I get more excited everyday. My surgery is August 2. If you're getting banded next month join us on the August Bandsters support thread. Good Luck!

I'm with Sherilynn on the question of how much is enough. We've all read that you should eat slowly and stop eating before you're full so that your brain can get the signal that you are full. Is that true with the band? Do you eat 1/2 a cup because that is what you are supposed to eat or does your banded stomach feel full almost instantly? For me stopping after 1/2 cup of carrots is no problem. But 1/2 a cup of spaghetti is another story. I will be banded on August 2 so I have no idea yet what it is going to feel like. Please be as specific as possible about the actual physical sensation of fullness with a properly filled band. Should 1/2 cup of the right, healthy foods give you a sensation of physical fullness?

I think most of us can relate to your anxiety about the surgery. I have a similar history of going up and down the scale and there is definately a side of me that still says I should be able to do this on my own. I've decided that all previous attempts at permanent weight loss have failed and rather than waste anymore time trying on my own, I'm going to have the surgery and start a new chapter in my life. It is scary because there are no guarantees. I've done alot of research and I know that the band is not a miracle cure, but I'm really hoping that it is going to be the tool that will finally help me to keep the weight off. I know that there is a poll on LBT where a huge majority of bandsters say that if they had it to do over again they would absolutely not hesitate. If you decide to go ahead with the surgery, we will be here to support you. Good luck.

Congrats on the weight loss you've had and the baby. You've done great. What I don't understand is why you think you can't break your bad habit. You obviously have in the past and I'm sure you can now. Didn't you stop drinking while eating when you were first banded? I wouldn't wait until you decide about having another baby to get back on your program. You can get serious again and reach your goal now even if another pregnancy is in your future. Speaking from experience, I would just be very careful not to get complacent and let the pounds creep back on. Unfortunately being healthy, fit, and trim is a lifelong process. Keep fighting the fight.

First, congrats on the NSV. Your leg crossing description made perfect sense and I'm looking forward to being able to do that again. Sometimes the small things mean alot. Secondly, thanks for the analysis of the binge. You're doing some of the hard work for those of us who still have issues to deal with. It is also a realistic look at the road that lies ahead. You are a wonderful example of what can be achieved and also a wonderful reminder that just getting the weight off is not all there is to it. All our old bad habits won't just magically disappear and even banded we can still try to use food as a sedative or a distraction (i checked my spelling and saw distraction defined as mental distress or derangement - good word) from what's really bothering us. I am so encouraged though by your honesty and willingness to share the good and the bad. I think "doing the numbers" really does help to put things in perspective. Yes, you kind of went off the deep end, but it really is just a minor blip in the big picture and you recognize that and have moved on. That is the big lesson here.

<p>I'm curious, what do you think caused the skittles binge? Was yesterday a really stressful day, were you unusually tired, or was there some reason you can put your finger on? I ask because bingeing is a problem for me and I would like to be able to put it behind me forever. Do you think everybody binges on occassion? Maybe I just associate it with my out of control eating behaviors when in fact "normal" eaters also do binge every now and then without it being a sign of some big issue. I guess the fact that you can get right back to healthy eating and exercising is maybe the difference between a problem with bingeing and an occasional over indulgence. I don't mean to pry, I just so want to get this right this time. And thanks for the link to the couch potato program.</p>