regner

16 days post op.
 
I've been eating real food (soft) for 2 days and I'm feeling better, a bit more energy. I'm learning to 'read' my new stomach for the new full feeling. UGH! I'm only able to eat about 1/4 of a cup of food at this point.
 
Here's what I've had so far:
one egg with Franks hot sauce
1/4 of mushed, ripe banana
refried, black beans with taco sauce
mushed avocado
humus
canned pears
cottage cheese
sliced deli ham
sugar free Carnation instant good start with skim milk
 
It's so wonderful to move away from the overly sweet crap. I never knew how much I love savory foods with flavor.
 
One big disappointment I'm having is that the bathroom situation has not returned to normal yet. Maybe someday - sigh.
 
I've lost 16 lbs since the surgery - about 1 lb a day. My belly still has some swelling, so I only notice the weight loss in my face, but dear husband says he can tell I'm losing everywhere. I've lost 35 lbs since my heaviest weight. I had my first picture taken yesterday (for the swim pass) and WOW, I can see the difference already. HOORAY!
 
I've passed the point of feeling "why the hell did I do this!" However, I'm realizing now that food is essential, not just for the yummy taste or comfort, etc. I need food - BUT I can't eat much of is, so I'm sort of frustrated. I also HATE the nasty liquid/chewable meds. JUST PUKEY! I'll be so excited when I get the go ahead to swallow a PILL! I can't imagine the lap-band people never being able to swallow another pill - forever.
 
This week-end we're traveling down to visit my folks at their lake home. It will be the first time they've seen me, and I'm excited and nervous. They've been nothing but supportive, but . . . parents.
 
Someone asked me to share the whole, ugly truth of my experience. I'm reticent to do so, because I don't want to scare anyone off, but reality is - **** happens. Soooo . . . my surgeon 'nicked' a blood vessel during surgery and I bled internally. My hemoglobins went critically low and I had to have two units of blood. Then I spiked a high fever and was given strong antibiotics for another day. So I was supposed to stay 2 nights, ended up staying 4 nights and my entire belly looks horrendous. Seriously 'zombified' and swollen. I've had to go into the dr. 2 times to make sure the hemoglobins are returning to normal - they are. I had low grade temps for the first week (with the cold sweats, shiver-shakes, and all.) So happy those are gone now. I would say I passed the 'hell' point on day 11 post op. I'm also so glad I'm doing this during the summer (I'm a teacher) because I really can't imagine going back to work next week. I really don't have the energy level back up to normal.
 
I'll post a new picture soon. I just hate that my belly is still so huge.

Today is one month out since surgery. I am down exactly 30 lbs since the start of the pre-op diet, and 20 lbs since surgery. I was telling my mom that this morning, and feeling a wee bit bummed about “only 20 lbs since surgery” but she pointed out that it is a 5 lb average per week. I thanked her for setting me straight and making me look at it like that. I get so impatient sometimes, but this process will take some time of course. And time is going to pass anyway – I’m awfully glad to be losing as time passes! This morning I shopped in my closet and am wearing a dress I haven’t worn in months. That feels good, and I’ve already gotten a compliment on it.
 
You know, I have lost weight before as an adult-- at one point I even lost like 75 lbs years ago. And I’ve noticed something…. it’s so funny how when people you work with, for example, who don’t know you’re losing weight, they begin to notice something is different but they can’t quite figure out what it is. So funny. I had a moment like that yesterday. I bought a dress two days after surgery; it’s a nice maxi dress that I can wear for a while as I shrink. I have already worn that dress 3 times to work since surgery! But it was yesterday that a male coworker of mine said “Well you’re all dressed up today! You look nice, is it a special occasion?” LOL! I’m changing but they can’t quite put their finger on what exactly is changing….in my experience ,soon I will get the “did you do something different with you hair? Did you get your hair cut?” questions. LOL
 
As far as food goes, I am still technically supposed to be on soft foods. To be honest, I would be scared to eat anything not soft right now. I have no pain of course, but my Morningstar sausage experience a little while back is not something I’d like to repeat. So it is not difficult to stick to the soft things—I gravitate toward them out of fear! LOL. I am eating 2 to 3 protein meals per day – I try for 3 oz but it’s usually just under 2 oz. In between, I’m doing my “green smoothies” with protein powder. It blows my mind that I haven’t had bread in 6 weeks. Or chips or crackers or any of that crap. I’m pretty much carb-free! I can prepare those things for my husband’s meals and it doesn’t even entice me. I do have occasional cravings. If it’s something that’s on my current plan to have (like cheese), I eat it, and I find that literally after 2 bites I’m more than done. The sugar fiend in me is still alive, but when those cravings hit I 1) remind myself that I would probably feel horrible if I ate sugar and 2) when I am at goal, I will allow myself such indulgences occasionally. I KNOW that I could totally eat ice cream right now. But I am just not gonna do it!!!!
 
I am finally getting a reasonable amount of energy back. I am walking 30 minutes almost every day. I need to start strength training. I am beginning to develop a fear of loose skin. Somehow I’m not sure I could bring myself to do plastic surgery – although never say never. Just depends on how bad it is when I’m there I guess. I need to worry about that bridge when I get to it. I bought bio oil and am trying to be really good to my skin. Hope it will return the favor!
I totally have ketosis breath. It’s pretty funny. Love the altoids sugar free mini’s. They also are awesome right after a meal when I still need to wait 30 minutes to drink something.
Monday I see my surgeon for my one month follow up. My incisions are great. I’m certain he will give the all-clear to hit the beach
Onward!

Am I doing the right thing? Lots of thoughts going through my head! Am I ready for this huge change? What are the long- term effects? Will I gain weight again after 5 years? I hoping to find friends, answers and support on www.verticalsleevetalk.com! I am from Scandinavia by the way . I am married, 3 small kids and work more than 100% .... And I don't want to be FAT anymore!!!!