LOSINGLOOSEY

Prior to surgery, I gave up my coffee and iced tea (the good stuff with the caffiene) and now, I'm three weeks post op....can I have my iced tea again? I asked my coordinator - who said yes - but, I think she thought I was talking about decaf iced tea...

Same here - I was sleeved on the 5th of August - feeling no pain, no nausea - a little gassy and some heartburn if I drink too fast. A little tired and easily worn out when by the end of the day. I've been getting two protein shakes down a day. The weight has been dropping off - anywhere from 2-3 lbs per day!! It's ridiculous!

I was in a physically and emotionally abusive marriage years ago - thank God my son and I got out of it - it was horrible and I don't even like thinking that I put myself and my son through that! Two valuable lessons I learned - 1. From the weekly support group I attended back then - most women would rather take a physical hit or push or shove, rather than to endure days and days of emotional abuse. In most ways, emotional abuse is much harder and difficult...it wears on you, in every sense of the word. 2. Before you physically leave a marriage or relationship, you've already "left" him. It sounds like your mind is halfway out the door - now, grab your kids and take them and the rest of you ALL the way out the door! Good luck - don't buy into his put downs - you CAN do this!

August 5th!!!! I start the pre-op diet on Monday....getting both excited and nervous!

August 5th - four weeks from tomorrow!!!!

My coordinator emailed me right before 11 AM today - said that everything was sent up to BC/BS of FL...I thought - now the waiting game begins. She warned me that it would be about a 10 day waiting period before we would hear back - but, she was very confident that it would be approved. Mind you - another co-worker just had her sleeve done last week (same employer/same insurance) and it took about 10 days for her to get a response. At 4:30, my coordinator calls me - she had contacted BC/BS to ensure that they had gotten everything, etc. They told her that everything was in order and it was approved!!!! Unreal!! She said this was a first! A 6 hour approval!!! She was astonished as I was!!! Now, it's real....

August 5th..... it seems like forever!

Yes - August 5th. I was amazed - I just knew it was going to be a 2 week wait....crazy. I still can't get over it! Now start the tests....starting the 8th of July, I have to go to the cardiologist, the surgeon, my regular doctor for clearance, etc....one appointment after another!!

"Big changes," she said, rubbing her belly and pointing her eyes towards my bulging belly. I was puzzled - I hadn't been in this store for over two years and was surprized that she was still working there. Nice lady, in her early 60s, and with a weight issue of her own. Then, it hit me....she thought I was pregnant!! I quickly corrected her assumption, telling her "no - I'm not pregnant....but, there are 'big changes' coming soon!!" After numerous apologies from her, I then explained what I was planning on doing and told her - "don't feel bad - there are 'big changes' - but not those!!" The 'big changes' are definitely being digested....at the same time of being excited, I'm also a little scared and worried! This is a clear and definite change that is, simply put - irreversible. I can't exchange it or return it, or opt out later on - I'm in it for good! My psych eval is done, as well as my nutritionists' appointments. I have my "Letter of Medical Necessity" completed by my doctor. Everything is in order.... And, the biggest feat of all - I got approved by the insurance company!!! YH!!! June 23, 2012 Highest weight: 321 lbs (at yesterday's nutritionist's appt) Goal weight: 170 lbs Height: 5'10" Surgery date: 8/5/13 Things I'm doing this week... The "last meal" phase is getting worn out - I mean, really, how many "last meals" can I have. In the last 6 weeks, I've gained about 9 lbs. This is ridiculous. I have to start slowing down - in only 3 weeks and 4 days, I start the pre-op diet. I have to stop going hog wild (no pun on words) with food! Like my friend told me (she had the bypass 3 years ago) - "every pound you put on now - has to come off at some point." Point well taken - I'll slow down.

Here's my list............ 1. Sit on an airplane - and trying to hide the fact by putting a jacket on my lap - so the flight attendant won't realize that the seatbelt isn't buckled. 2. Go play poker at various spots - I won't show myself at some of these places since, the last time they saw me, I was 80 lbs less. 3 Ride the zipline on Fremont Street in Las Vegas - weight limit is 230....I have a ways to go. 4. Not have to jiggle the booth away from me to make it so I can breathe! 5. Not having to go through my clothes every morning - struggling to find something that fits. 6. Driving by the grocery store - without thinking about stopping to get a "goodie" for the night. 7. Not having to maneuver into my truck so much - in order to "get comfortable." 8. Riding a bicycle - I would just be so embarrassed right now. 9. Going to the gym regularly - without being embarrassed. 10. And the biggest thing - breaking the cycle that was set by my Mother, my Grandmother, my Great Grandmother - I refuse to be the next generation of overweight women in my family. The buck stops here!

So, how do you respond to the following? "You could lose this weight if you really wanted to...you just need to have more discipline, not surgery!" "You shouldn't mess with what God gave you - he gave you a big stomach - that's what you should keep!" "It's all just a fad....hopefully, you'll 'come to your senses' before the surgery!" "Why would you want to do that - you could just go to Weight Watchers and get the same results!?!" I've had some strange comments thrown at me in the last few weeks - I need some decent responses to shut these naysayers down!!!

I went to my second of two psychologist's visits. Yoohoo!! I got clearance from him!! And this time, he didn't bother asking me any crazy questions like "Have you ever been small?" I saw my coordinator at the grocery store....she had a bypass and lost over a hundred pounds a few years ago.... she reassured me that she feels 99.9999999% sure that I'll be approved. When she gets my "Letter of Medical Necessity" and psych clearance, as well as nutritionist's clearance - she'll send it on up to BC/BS. Another woman that I work with (same insurance) just got approved....and I believe my BMI, sadly enough, is much higher than hers. So, it's really going to happen..........I'm going to do this - despite the naysayers who are telling me I'm mutilating my body, I shouldn't mess with what God gave me, etc. How do you respond to these people? Anyways - until the next update.... So, here's the weekly progress: June 9, 2013 8 weeks post op - Highest weight: 320.2 Current weight: 315.2 Goal weight: 172 Height: 5'10" My weekly diet modifications: Go entirely to decaf coffee. My weekly behavioral modifications: One night this week - no snacking or grazing after dinner.

So many changes in one week to report......... First, my tentative scheduled sleeve date changed - instead of August 19th, I'm doing it on August 5th - two weeks earlier!! When I start to think that at the end of next month, I have to start the pre-op diet - it just sort of blows my mind! Today, I went to my regular doctor, so he could write the "Letter of Medical Necessity." He offered these words of hope, which really put my mind at ease: "Ten years ago, I would have never written this letter for you, because it was mostly for the bypass - but, the sleeve surgery has been so perfected and is the least invasive - it is truly safe." Then, he looked at me in the eyes and asked me a question that sort of shook my psyche: "Just how much longer do you think your knees and hips could hold up your weight anyways?" "Not much...." I replied meekly. So, here's the weekly progress: June 2, 2013 9 weeks post op - Current weight: 316.8 Goal weight: 172 Height: 5'10" My weekly diet modifications: Incorporoate one small, healthy meal in this week. My weekly behavioral modifications: Trying to eat dinner, minus the television - needs more work. I really need to try harder to do this... Pre surgery tasks - Today - I went to my regular doctor to get the "Letter of Medical Necessity." Tuesday - second appointment with the nutritionist Wednesday - monthly Bariatric Support Group meeting

"Have you ever thought of yourself as small?" The psychiatrist's nose wrinkled and he appeared puzzled - but, not half as puzzled as I was....I'm sitting here before you - getting clearance for bariatric surgery, the sides of your chair are pushing into my thighs, and you have the nerve to ask me "have I ever thought of myself as small!!" Really? Small is definitely a foreign word to me....and going through with Gastric Sleeve Surgery is like traveling to a far off land - Africa, Vietnam....I'm learning the language, the culture...and I'm trying to learn about myself in that land. Thank God for forums like this, that people like me can become more comfortable and at ease with everything about this surgery. Until now, I've known friends that have gone through it - some successful, some not. And, I had the horrible experience of a coworker that actually died a week after the gastric bypass in 2001. So, you can imagine the feedback I've been receiving from the coworkers, that I still work with, when I tell them what I'm going to do! Not the most positive, to say the least! But, after tons of research, and more research, and being told by two doctors that the need for me to do something is greater than the need to not - I am going to do it! So, here I am - 12 weeks out - my surgery is tentatively scheduled for August 19th. But, I'm anxious - I can't wait - and keep eating and eating - until that date. I need to start it now! Each week, I'm going to do something to modify my diet or change my eating patterns, so - the day after surgery, I won't be in some incredible shock. I want to ease into the surgery.... Here's the format: May 27, 2013 12 weeks post op - Current weight: 320.2 Goal weight: 172 Height: 5'10" My weekly diet modifications: Change from regular coffee to half reg/half decaf Change from regular bread to light bread Change from potatoes and rice to cottage cheese My weekly behavioral modifications: Eat dinner minus the television - this means, the TV cannot be turned on and I will focus more on the food that I am eating. Pre surgery tasks - No appointments this week, but I do need to complete the exercises for the psychologist's second visit Ok - so there it is - next week, I'll be hopefully reporting a weight loss - maybe one or two pounds...and I'll tell you what's next........