ramos252006

I have been over weight all of my life pretty much. I was never teased tho as a child or in high school. I tried so many diets and gyms, and paying for pills to lose weight. Finally in 2010 I decided to have the lapband done, so in July 2010 I had the surgery. I lost about 65lbs and then just stopped. I will admit I stopped working out once I started college again. Studying, exams, and research papers plus working full time had me pretty busy. I lost track of eating right and just began eating whatever (yea bad idea I know) but after two years of the band, I was having problems. I always threw up, one day I could eat just fine, the next day I couldn't eat anything. After test and two scopes, I had a hernia, and a slipped band with acid reflux every day and waking up at night with acid in my throat. Once I decided this was no way to live and I needed surgery to fix the hernia anyways, why not get the sleeve?

April 29, 2013 I had the sleeve done and ever since then I have felt lost. I feel like nothing is going the way its suppose to. I did the liquids like I was suppose to, then out of no where (about to give TMI here) I got a hemorriod and couldn't get rid of it for 4 days. It was very painful so I went to the dr and found out it was boil on top of a hemorroid. So the dr drained it (which hurt like hell), but began to feel better the next day. Then I made the mistake of trying mashed potatoes and refired beans (yes im suppose to be on FULL LIQUIDS and creamy soups) I thought to myself (making myself think its ok) hey mashed potatos and beans are creamy, its ok to eat. After that day I was off track and oh dear Lord, I had the most unbearable cramps of my life. It was like menstral cramps times 1000 ontop of labor pains (even though i dont have kids, Ive heard labor described and witnessed it). It was drop to your knees and curl up in a fetal position and cry for two days type pain. I ended up in the ER, our hospitals don't touch bariatric patients, but my dr told them to do labs and a CT scan, so they did. Everything came back normal, CT just showed swelling in the stomach area, which they said is normal. So I had my 2 week nutrition visit and dr visit this passed Wed, and of course the nutritionist jumped all over me, she didnt like what i was drinking, she didnt like my choices of protein in take, she didn't like my vitamins i take, so she put me on an extra week of liquids. The dr gave me another swallow test (YUCK) and said everything is still very swollen causing the cramps, there was no gas showing up on the machine, so it wasn't trapped gas. They gave me a steriod shot and I am alright today.

However I woke up today and make me a pumpkin spice protein shake and after 4 sips I got really really bad cramps again, so i had to throw it up and felt alright. Now the rest of the day I can't get much down. Ive tried crystal light, water, soup and it just seems to sit in my chest while my stomach is screaming for food. I thought you weren't suppose to FEEL hungry?? I get hunger pains, it is that pain right before your stomach wants to growl... but mine never growls. So i turned to drinking hot ginger tea and so far its ok.

I feel lost right now. It seems as if nothing is going right, sure Im feeling sorry for myself. Im trying to pick myself up, but everyone around me is eating yummy food that I USED to be able to enjoy. I feel regret right now and family is trying to encourage me, but I just don't feel happy about anything right now. Please tell me the truth..... is going to be ok from here on out? I just sit and cry and feel frustrated, sad, angry, all these emotions except happiness.