stacechase

This is a big question, for sure. Personally, I have told many people, and I have received almost 100% support. The people in my life that love me are so EXCITED about this step I'm taking, maybe even more than me! LOL! I agree with everyone here, eventually people will be wondering what's going on, and I felt it would be easier to let them know now rather than later. Also, I had horrible eating habits, so this way, I don't get the "But WHY don't you want a donut?!" questions. It honestly breaks my heart when I read posts about people who have family & friends that are cruel and rude about their decision to have surgery. This whole situation is going to be hard enough without that kind of lack of support, and I feel for them for sure. I'm glad that they have a supportive community on this site to help them through and celebrate their victories with them!

Whoa! I haven't heard of a TEST before, geez! That would be really intimidating.

LOLOLOL! I will have to remember to "trust no fart."

You look awesome! Did you find any loose skin where you have tattoos? I have a half sleeve and I'm hoping it doesn't get disturbed too much! Great job!

GREAT job!!! So many social events revolve around food, and it's wonderful to hear that you can enjoy yourself without chowing down! Congrats (and thanks for the encouragement—I'll be sleeved August 19th!)

Hi everyone! I've been single for a very long time (we're talking over 10 years), and not by choice. I would recommend to you, isajck, just to be cautious with online dating. I know some friends that have had great success, but I have also experienced a lot of guys who just seem to expect sex even when you make it clear in your profile that you are looking for a long-term relationship. I am going to get sleeved on August 19th, and I KNOW that I have a bunch of issues around men & dating (working on this in therapy!) but when I do plan on starting to date again, I'm hoping to do it through meeting new people in person at new activities & social events that I've been too self-conscious to attend! Good luck to you (and all of us!)

You look fantastic, and frankly, it's refreshing to see sleeved men show off their bodies and be proud of their new physique just like ladies like to do sometimes! Great job, and congrats on your success!

I understand what you're wanting—to know that chivalry is not dead, to see some of the traditional politeness and respect shown by men to women. I would love to see this too, and Nate, kudos to you for keeping the gentleman vibe alive! I would like to say, however, that I disagree with using the birth of feminism as the scapegoat for the deterioration of these traditions. Times change, priorities shift, and culture itself (not just feminism) shapes the modification of behavior whether or not you're a man or a woman. If it means sacrificing doors being held open for me and occasional compliments by men in order for me to get more respect & upward mobility in the workplace, make strides in politics and business, and be seen as powerful, intelligent, capable & independent without needing a man by my side, it is a sacrifice I would make without thinking twice. Personally, I would not want "the men of the past" back. Sure, it would be nice to have the door opened, chairs pulled out, and be shown random acts of kindness by men...however, with those traits of the "men of the past" also comes sexism, treating women as objects and caretakers—of the house, the kids, all while expected to look perfectly pretty at all times. I'm not saying that all men of the past felt this way, just suggesting that the past was not all wine & roses. Also, I'm unclear as to what you mean about "turning our men into women." I certainly hope that it isn't a judgment on men who are stay-at-home fathers, in touch with and open with their emotions, etc. All men are men, regardless of their choices & lifestyles, and it seems a bit insulting to men to insinuate that they're "turning into women." Do you also feel that women who are professional athletes & corporate executives are "turning into men?" I'm not trying to argue, just want to make sure that we're all sensitive to the fact that any "rules" associated with what makes a man a man or a woman a woman are entirely socially constructed (and frankly, kind of stupid). Lastly, just to clarify, Germaine Greer did not advocate burning bras, as noted in The Female Eunuch.

Hi there! You raise a great point—weight loss surgery is NOT a silver bullet, magic pill cure all. It may shrink the size of our stomachs, but it can't help with the psychological & emotional issues we have connected to food. I, personally, am a sugar freak (particularly chocolate) and a boredom eater for sure. I just finished a great book called "Feeding the Hungry Heart" by Geneen Roth that is a bunch of short stories and essays about emotional overeating...great information and lots of food for thought (pun not intended but still funny!) I recommend you check it out. The bottom line of the book is that you're feeding yourself constantly to fill another emotional void...in my case, it's lack of dating & romantic relationships. I'm also seeing a therapist, which I think is absolutely INTEGRAL to success post-surgery. Good luck to you whatever you decide to do, but don't let being scared of developing another disorder stop you from getting a surgery that could make you healthier...if you think like that, you'll never become a better you!

I'm scheduled for August 19th by Dr. Zare in Mountain View, CA. I'm super excited and can't wait for the day to be here!

I'm so sorry I'm just now catching up on this thread! Everyone's suggestions are SO wonderful, can't thank you all enough! I don't know how to "sticky" a thread...if someone tells me how (if I need to be the one to do it) I'm happy to!

So, first off... YOU. LOOK. AMAZEBALLS!!!!! Seriously, so beautiful! Congrats on 3 years post-op! Also, I am so, so glad to see someone sharing their story about working on your own personal causes for overeating and emphasizing how important it is to deal with the psychological component of it. I realized recently that aside from my weight (or perhaps tangled up in it), I have many, many self-confidence and men issues that must be addressed if this surgery is going to be a true success. I have started therapy and am on my way to gaining understanding of myself while, come August 19th, losing the weight! Thanks again for sharing your story, your lovely photos, and for being so honest. <3

Welcome! I'm pretty new too, surgery is scheduled for August 19. You'll learn a lot of great info from this site!

Great question! I'm a stomach sleeper too (and I get no end of grief for it from all medical professionals, haha)! I had an ovary and ovarian cyst removed in March and it was about 3 weeks or so before it was even remotely comfortable for me to stomach sleep again. I feel like this will be similar.

OH MY GOSH That is AWFUL! People can be so horrible. I am reading a book given to me by my therapist that was written in 1982 called "Feeding the Hungry Heart." (In fact, I think it was also recommended to me on this site, but my therapist gave me a copy to read). This story reminds me of the essays in that book—how people can say such horrible, hurtful things. I'm so sorry you had to hear that, and I hope that woman gets smacked in the head with an errant tennis ball. <3

WHAT?! No more ALLERGIES!?!? OMG, I have the worst allergies ever!! I never thought that they could be helped by the surgery! I am so excited to see if mine diminish/go away after my surgery in August! Thanks so much for sharing, and congrats on your weight loss!

Hi everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself, as I am new to the site. I'm just beginning my journey to getting sleeved (hopefully) on August 19th of this year by Dr. Marc Zare in Mountain View, CA. I have Anthem Blue Cross PPO of CA, and luckily, they cover 90% of the surgery with no 6-month documented weight loss attempt required. I've met with Dr. Zare once and have scheduled my psychological evaluation for tomorrow, and I'm meeting with a dietician next Friday. After that, Dr. Zare will submit to my insurance, but he's confident that I'm a great candidate! I had been considering the sleeve for years, and now at my highest weight ever (302 lbs) I'm finally ready to take the plunge, and I'm very excited. I look forward to chatting with all of you and benefitting from your amazing stories and shared knowledge! Have a great day! Stacey

Oh man, I'm sorry to hear that! I don't use Facebook (for many reasons, LOL) but I would imagine that making a general post like that would likely trigger some less-than-supportive responses, particularly if you have lots of acquaintances through FB who aren't sensitive to your feelings or just don't know your story. And, as we all know, EVERYONE is an expert on YOUR weight loss. I have told certain friends that I'm close to (usually the ones that I eat with quite a bit, because things will definitely change there!) as well as some coworkers and my boss. All but a few people have been incredibly supportive and are very excited for me. I had a similar experience as AudOne, where someone I thought would be really supportive surprised me by not being very supportive. She said that she had an aunt and a cousin who had the surgery and they developed other issues (which I later learned were replacing food with alcohol abuse, etc) so she said she was just "concerned," but it still hurt that she wasn't as supportive as I had expected. Hang in there and just think about how fierce you'll feel when you're healthy! They may just be jealous that you're taking charge and changing your life...I find that to be a fairly common issue of naysayers re: weight loss surgery. Good luck! We're always here to support you.

Thank you, Susan!

Thank you so much for the welcome, and for these great tips!! My big downfall is sugar, so I'm trying to stay away from all the sugary things I love so much...it's not easy, of course, but I'm definitely trying hard! I like the idea of smaller plates, that's fantastic. And I went and bought a (ridiculously expensive) pair of really nice new walking shoes with custom insoles the other day, so I'm doing more walking/moving, which is also a big deal for me! Thanks again for your tips and the warm welcome!

Congrats! I did my psych eval and NUT eval last month, and am going to have my surgery on August 19th -- approved by insurance (which is covering 90%!) and everything! I'm excited for you to be starting your journey too! Welcome to the site!