Khawk7921

[b] KHAWK's JOURNEY [/b]
[b] To a new and better me[/b]

[b]It all started sometime in June of 2012 when my heart dr had a talk with me about possibly having surgery to lose weight. At that time I had already been working out at the gym 4 days a week so I was confused as to whether to have the surgery or not. She wanted me to at least meet with a surgeon for them to explain the surgery to me and I was still unsure so I told her I will think about it and let her know by my next appointment. As a month or so went by I really have thought and decided to make an appointment but come to find out you can't just talk to a doctor about this particular thing. I was informed that I needed to attend a seminar class about the different surgeries so I scheduled that for September. During the seminar I learned about the different types of weight loss surgeries there are and my eyes just lit up and I thought of so many possibilities that I could do if I went through with the surgery. Instead of going through with the decision right away I took some time to really think and research the different types of surgery while I waited for my new insurance to start at the beginning of the year. As December approached I went ahead and called the surgeons office and scheduled my first weight session with the team. I chose to start on January 2, 2013 becauase that made a year since my grandpa had passed away. Instead of focusing on that and bringing me down I wanted to focus on me, myself and I. I have always put others first and it was time for me to become healthier, as weeks went by I had to go through some very difficult testing and procedures and also a series of blood work. I had three months to get all of my requirements done that my insurance and doctor had me do. In March I had to get a sleep study done and that was very scary for me. I had to have the sleep study for two nights in a row. As I patiently waited for my results to come in I learned that I had mild sleep apnea but was informed I didn't need a machine thankfully. I finished my three month program and had faxed all my documentations to the surgeons by the 5th of April. As soon as the surgeons office received everything, they informed me I was missing something but I was able to easily get it faxed over with no problem. I was told it could take up to a month before I would find out if I was a good candidate and if the insurance was going to approve me. Within 3-5 days after everything was sent to insurance I got a call while out to lunch with my aunt that I was approved for surgery and was given the day of June 5 which at that time was 6 weeks away. I was so happy that I was approved on the first try. I started the countdown to my surgery day and I was very scared and nervous about what was going to be done to me. But that didn't steer me away from my ultimate goal I had set for me. As may came about I was getting closer to my date for surgery because on may 22 I had to go on a medical liquid diet to lose weight and shrink my liver before surgery. At first i thought it was going to be very hard and difficult for me but it wasn't at all. I decided to log my daily progress while on the liquid diet and I counted down the days I had left and that made it easier to stay focused. At that time during those two weeks I put myself into situations where I had to take my shakes with me when I went out to eat with friends and family. I wanted to put myself out there because of obstacles that would come in the future. Throughout those two weeks i stayed DETERMINED and DEDICATED 100 percent. The night before surgery I could barely sleep at all because I was so scared, nervous and excited for the big change I was getting ready to make. On surgery day, I took some before pictures before heading to the hospital. It was a very scary day for me as I waited for 85% of my stomach to be completely removed. I really don't remember much from that day. Once I was in the prepping area I remember the iv being started and the being rolled down the hallway and next thing I was in my hospital room. I was so out of it that I don't remember being taken to a recovery room. I struggled with getting up and moving right away because of how drowsy i was from anesthesia. I wasn't allowed to have anything by mouth until the next day after surgery because of a special test that had to be performed. I was so happy when I could finally take a drink and I struggled with that. As the weeks passed, I started noticing the changes in my appearance especially in my face and i was liking that. About a month out I went on vacation to the beach and enjoyed myself a although I was in pain I still had fun doing things. Within a week being home from the beach my sister got married and I revealed my weight loss to all my family and friends and everyone said I looked wonderful. And the weeks kept on passing by the numbers on the scale were getting lower and lower and I was so happy. Although at times throughout this process I felt like I was taking the easy way out but not really. As august approached I had to Get all new clothes so that I could pack for college. As I got to college its been so difficult here. At times I struggle with finding something I can eat in the dining hall but its getting easier. Also my friend are always offering me junk food and I turn them down by saying I can't have that. I noticed my physical level is pretty high. I workout at the gym and walk around campus. It is now October 22nd, i'm 4 months post op and I'm down 70 plus pounds, also under 250lbs and I feel GREAT. There's is so much more yet to come. Right now I am breaking away from a shell that caused so much hurt and pain. Everyday now the shell cracks and pieces fall off as the hurt and pain is relieving itself. Theres more to come in the next months and years and I can't wait to see what else this journey has in store for me.[/b]