Someonefab

Hello everyone. I am in the process of considering the gastric sleeve operation. Originally when I first thought about the surgery when I was at my biggest weight, I was terrified because I had an aunt who passed after having several similar surgeries. So I was against it then. Now, I have a new outlook on the situation and figured that this just may be the best thing for me.
 
Currently, I am diabetic, have high blood pressure and cholesterol, ashmatic, have allergies and sinus issues, among other medical issues. My mother had all of those problems along with renal failure, and poor circulation. I had vowed that I wasn't going to end up like my mother but I have all of her medical conditions with the exception of the poor circulation and renal failure. Although, I almost had renal failure when I had my hysterectomy because of a complication. At my biggest weight, I weighed in at 289. Last year I lost 30lbs but have gained some of that back. Prior to last year, I was at 250lbs and I had gotten down to 232. But now I am at 247. I would like to be able to lose the weight and keep it off forever. My motivation has not been the greatest. Especially when I get depressed, bored, or any other type of emotion where I tend to turn to food for comfort.
 
My goal is to become a bodybuilder or a fitness model. I would like to be able to go back to how I was in high school where I was in a weightlifting club and took second place in the competition. I have four sons and one grandson. I would like to be healthy to be able to spend time with all of them and the other grandchild that will come in September of this year. I am tired of the aches and pains that I feel and the problems with breathing when I have to run or walk fast.
 
I believe once I lose the weight, my self-esteem will increase and I will be able to accomplish so much more in my life. My goal is to get off all of my medications or at least be down to 2 or 3 at the most besides my vitamins.
 
Currently I am researching about the vitamins and foods that I will be able to eat. I have read that most people have opted to take their vitamins in liquid form rather than taking a pill. I have also read that people have been doing the protein shakes. I would like to get a better understanding of the procedure and any advise from other members.
 
A part of me is scared because of my past history with surgeries. Also because I don't want a lot of extra skin after the surgery. I am looking into how to prevent that from happening. I would like to be able to wear a bikini one day without the shame and embarrassment.
 
I have been given the referral from my doctor to participate in the Options program at Kaiser, which is the Bariatric surgery department. I go for my information session on 5/7/13. So I am anxiously awaiting and look forward to learning more at this meeting. I have decided that I will start the actuall classes after I return from my vacation because i don't want to start and then have to miss two weeks of classes and will have to make them up.
 
Yesterday, I started logging everything that I eat. I was reading that this is going to be necessary during the 12 weeks of classes. I am trying to get into the habit of doing it now because I know it is usually hard for me to stick to things and I need to get into the habit now. I will also be logging my exercise. Before I stopped exercising, I was logging every exercise I was doing. Once I start back, this too will be a part of my log.
 
This is my first entry and hope to be able to continue on with my journey.
 
Wish me the best of luck on my journey!