reenalee

This is going to be a GREAT day! My daughter, Makenna had a hard time getting to sleep last night so I was up until about 12:30 because of her. Then my husband who has been also trying to get his weight under control woke me up around 4 this morning while he gets ready to go for a bike ride... My response to that was "could you take some of this new found energy you have and fix the toilet seat?!" I am not a helpless woman, I do a lot of the fixing up around here myself, but for the LIFE of me I can not get the darn toilet seat to tighten up so that when you sit on it it doesn't FLOP to one side! If he were to wake me at 4 AM because he was fixing the toilet, I would be less likely to complain about it. At least I woke up feeling better today, my sinus infection may actually be clearing up! So I wake up, I grab my dog. I have two Pomeranians, a male name Optimus Prime and a female named Vidia. They are very important to me and I am sure I will mention them more. My little Vidia is only about 4.5# and she loves to cuddle with me in the morning while I have coffee. So I grabbed my Vidia and head to the kitchen for coffee. I get about half way through making my coffee when my daughter comes out and she has so much energy! She is jumping around, twirling her dress! I tell her to come to me so I can fix her hair and she hops over to me with big smiles and giggles. Nothing starts your day off better than a happy little girl! I begin fixing her hair and I ask her what has made her so happy this morning. She yells out "We are going to the circus!!!" Then her twin brother, Ethan comes into the conversation. He too was excited, the two of them start talking about what is at the circus. Mind you, neither one of them has ever been this will be their first time. In my last marriage, my husband never held a job and I rarely had any money to do anything. So Ethan says that he thinks there will be clowns, balloons, and lions. Makenna says there will be zebras, tigers and camels! I add in that there will be elephants too!! Ethan gets a very worried look on his face and says to me "I hope we don't step in elephant poop mommy!" Let me tell ya, the thought had never really crossed my mind before then, but I sure hope we don't either! After I sent the kids off on the bus I got to thinking about that statement and I laughed, but also I learned a lesson from it. I have spent the past two or three days stuck in a negative funk about my decisions for surgery and really the things that got me in that negative place are just as relevant as the idea of stepping in elephant poop. Its so unlikely to happen and if I just keep my eyes open, stay on the clear path its highly unlikely I should suffer such misfortune! Just to prove my point, I stepped on my scale and I have made it to 300.0! I can't wait to see that wonderful 200 range again! So my plan for the day is to remain positive, to love my family, enjoy the circus and to stay clear of elephant poop!

thank you so much! yes it takes a special kinda person to raise "special" people.. however the love that those "special" people show towards the ones who have raised them is an amazing kind of love! my children love me, they adore me as most children adore their moms... my two sons however show a completely different kind of adoring love lol it is so wonderful and makes all those hours of reading, sitting in doctor offices, waiting on hold for specialist ect.. all worth every second! I look forward to sharing more of my story as long as I have followers, it will serve as a great way to get me through each day

yes, my surgery date is July 10th! I have so much more to share as to how my story has lead me to here... I will get there, I hope as I share I can also heal (mentally)

this is a great beginning to your story! Keep coming back and sharing whenever you find time for you. I can relate in so many ways to your story (as I am sure many of us here can) the main focus your story gave me was what also started me on my journey... my mom! my mom will be 60 this summer, she was totally awesome when I was really young (toddler up to around age 15 or 16) REALLY active, always doing something. Our roof was to repaired on our house and she was the first one up there! Then my sister passed away, 4 yrs later my mom had breast cancer, a year later, cancer is back, 2 yrs after she went through another major health problem.. next thing you know shes in a motorized scooter! 5'2" 325#! she cant walk because she spent so much time down and out now her weight wasn't letting her get up and around... in Feb 2012 she had a gastric bypass. She has lost 120#!!! she is out walking, goes shopping now, she takes walks with her little dog... I LOVE the change it has made. I started this journey because I started feeling lazier because of my weight, I was less likely to take the kids to the pool, less likely to go out to the playground... and I realized it wont be long before I am out shopping for my own motorized scooter! I do NOT think so!! Although its sad we cant always change the paths to where we are, we sure as heck can change direction to where we are going!

so here I am! In Oct. 2012 I went to see my PCP for a follow up appointment after having his help for over a year in trying to drop this weight I had gained almost instantly! I guess I really should begin before this point. While growing up my whole family was "big boned" I have many family members well over the 300# mark, I was one of the smaller ones at age 14 I recall being 180# and 5'7". When I got married at age 19 I wore a size 20, I had my first child at age 20, while I was pregnant I only gained 9#! While breast feeding I had lost a considerable amount of weight! I don't know how heavy I was but I know I got into a size 12! I regained after my son got older, he is autistic and I stayed home with him, I spent most of my "free time" caring for him... very little on myself. It wasn't long before I was a size 24! I went to the doctor and was put on a diet and some medications ect. I lost a huge amount of weight, got down to a size 16, only a month in the new clothes and I found out im having TWINS! I gained 19# with my twins, I lost very little from that point, I maintained around 230# for about 3 or 4 years. I wasn't unhappy there. I went through a divorce and got remarried, had another baby, this time I went from 231# to 252# during and lost next to nothing after! I stayed at 252# for about a year, and then in a two month stretch I went to 279#! at which point I went to the doctor for help! He tried everything he could and I did the same, I was living on rabbit food, my bloodwork always came back great. A year later he said I was a perfect case for WLS. I was shocked and scared, also slightly excited? After much research I have chosen to do the VSG, just got my date last week. I will be having my surgery on July 10th. 2013. Since I began this whole thing I have quit smoking which added weight ... and my heaviest point was 306#. I have been working on some weight loss on my own. I am not taking any prescription meds for it anymore, I am going on counting calories and making good choices of foods. So far, in approximately a week and a half I am currently at 300# I never thought I would say this but I can not wait to see that 299 mark again! My self worth went through the FLOOR when I crossed over 300#, it made me so depressed because I was and AM trying to make good choices for me and my family, I give up smoking and gain almost 30# it seemed all the good choices ive been trying to make have been leaving me so miserable! I sure hope this is my turning point! I am going to make a video journal starting this week, I want to capture this whole thing so I can show my children and so if I ever fall off the right path (start smoking again, gain weight ect) I can look back at how far Ive come!

thanks Kelsa! Good luck with you surgery keep us posted on how you do... thank you for the words of encouragement. I really need that right now, I have been having a lot of doubts about myself and a very hard time making up my mind about things. I know my so called support is tired of hearing me go over and over it with them! I was doing great with my choices until the day before yesterday when I shared my surgery news with a friend who has had the lapband. Her response to me was "my friend had the vsg and only lost 30#" which almost sent me into a panic attack! can you imagine going through all of that only to lose 30#!? so I have been reading about failures ever since, I don't know if this is helping me or making it worse?!