Indigo1991

RJ, just come across this thread - I can't believe what's happened to you! But, as ever, you have kept your humour and sense of perspective while you must be in agony. Hope the pain diminishes soon and that the universe takes a look at itself and says enough for you for now.... I would send you a big hug but I'd better not squeeze you too hard :-)

Am with you RJ. Telling the truth and being vulnerable was, for me, the start of changing my life. It has set me free and has also allowed the people in my life, who have always loved and cared for me, the chance to show that for the first time. It's amazing because they were always there, willing and able, but because of my fear, i kept them at arms length without even realising it. The result is I now know for sure that they really like me for me, warts and all. My vulnerability and honesty has seen them open up to me too, deepening my relationships in a way I couldn't have imagined. Being vulnerable has scared the sh1t out of me but I don't feel so alone - and I am not alone because my friends are right beside me because I have let them in. At times, the outpouring of emotion has been overwhelming and i have wanted to go back in my shell. But my life now has light and shade in a way it never had before and I feel as if I belong to an amazing group of people. Or perhaps I actually feel like I now deserve to belong because if they like me this much, perhaps I was never as bad a person as I believed.... Has taken a long time to get here. I knew the theory of vulnerability and honesty and the positive impact both could have but was too scared to try. Wish I had done it sooner but we arrive where we need to be only when we are ready. Good luck to you if you are struggling with this but please persevere, it is truly life changing, like blowing a hole in a brick wall and letting light flood in...

I travelled from the UK to the US at 6 weeks out and the only thing I struggled with was portion sizes You guys know how to eat!!! I would check local food stuffs to see what you can eat and so that you know what you are eating. At 4 months out, you should have a pretty good range of things on your list so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

RJ, I think I stumble on ever hopeful that this time, things will be different when it comes to other people. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... But I am sorry that you bear such deep scars. I have mine, but I have spent recent years trying to put things in perspective. That has included removing the people who inflicted the wounds on me out of my life. That helps, no constant reminders. I have also tried hard to set aside the things I can't change no matter how much they upset me. Sometimes you just have to put the burden down, walk away and don't look back. What you say is so true - time, healing and getting to know yourself are the keys to surviving, then thriving. I hope you feel you are on the way to that, you have inspired me in recent months, hope you feel you are getting the support back that you need too x

I think it's because, for the first time in my life, I did this without thinking that failing was an option - I didn't have any alternatives left. And it's an attitude - naive or not - that has got me this far. Laura, you are right, no more wasted energy on someone who spoke, moved on and won't have given this a second thought... just shaken me up. RJ, yup a lifelong battle but I feel I now actually have a tool in my armoury that if I do right by it, it will fight alongside me. Maybe it's that hope/belief that has kept me looking forward not back. But a sharp reminder of the power of the mind to bring you down...

So once we are visible, what happens next? I have just had my first truly negative experience because someone said something innocent - but it has triggered my head off in away I didn't expect... Someone complimented me on my weight loss and said I must be having fun shopping. I agreed and said I had now thrown out 27 bags of clothes over the last 8 months ( :-( I know that's a ridiculous amount!). Then she said "Are you so confident you won't need any of those clothes again and that you won't put weight back on?" I stood and gaped at her like a goldfish. Don't laugh at me, but I am so convinced that I won't be fat ever again after going through this, that I haven't even contemplated gaining weight. But what she said threw me and made me feel naive and, frankly, stupid. How can I have come this far and not thought that??? So having hit reality head on, can I go back in my bubble? Life has got in the way in the whole time I have been sleeved but I have done my best to pick myself up, dust myself down and move on. So why am I dwelling on this?

Wow, thanks!

Laura- you are a success! You look great, nothing wrong with shameless selfies when you are looking fab. Next time, talk like a fool to the people in the waiting room - you will blow them away and inspire them all at once :-)

LouiseC thank you! All clear now, like the phrase so can use it without looking stupid and getting it wrong. I'd usually use "point of no return" but "jumping the shark" is way cooler :-))))

I haven't counted calories - I stuck with the amount of protein my dietician told me to eat and have aimed for that every day. It's worked for me because if I eat the right amount, I take in what I need calorie wise....

Laura, I know about flogging dead horses, but help me out - what's the meaning of jumping the shark???? Sorry, not a phrase we use here but think I might if I knew what it meant... :-)

Happy anniversary! Congratulations on your amazing success, I have loved hearing your story. Been watching your progress post plastics and its been really encouraging, so much so that I am thinking of doing more than my boobs. Can't wait to see the pics :-))))

Just breathe out and stick with the plan - the scale will move if you eat the right amount of Protein, fluids and get moving. Your body has had a big shock and it's still sorting itself out deciding if it's being starved or whether it should be burning fat... Hang in there, skinny is coming :-)))))

You are not alone - go to the thread "An uncomfortable truth" in the Tell Your Gastric Sleeve Stories. It's huge but read what M Reverie posted to start with, then either read it all (have a spare few hours, lol) or dip into. It will help with how you feel :-) Lots of us have families/parents who have done what your father is doing to you. You have a choice. Let him keep doing this to you, affecting your life without him even knowing or caring - or you change the way you react to his behaviour. If someone is going to be the way they are, we can't change them but we can change how we respond to it. Not easy, but do-able. Don't give him power over you to sabotage your weight loss, no-one is worth that even if we love them.Love that you went jogging, fantastic!!! At 23 years old, you have had more than your share of grief and difficult times. But what doesn't kill us, usually makes us stronger :-) and you have shown you are fighter. Find someone you can talk to because if you find the right person, it will help. Vent on this site - you will get help, advice, sympathy, empathy, support and hugs from people who've been where you are. Please don't give up, focus on you and making your life the best it can be. You are doing great with your weight loss, congratulations and good luck! Keep posting so that we know you are ok x

Marfar7, this is exactly how I lost weight, butt first! But as I got closer to target my boobs are now beginning to shrink and I can now wear the same size on top and bottom. First time I have done that in 25 years :-) But am still having a boob job to stop having to roll them up in my bra.... Sorry tmi lol

Love, love, love my sleeve! Best thing I have ever done for myself - the gift that just keeps giving :-) Was it easy? No, neither physically nor emotionally. But was it worth it? Yes, a million times over. My life is transformed, starting with my health, my confidence and my whole outlook. I feel like I have been a second chance to live the life I should always have lived - and I will not do anything to jeopardise that. Things I wish I'd known- as with others, don't get constipated, keep drinking. But the biggest thing is to remember that this too will pass. No matter how long a phase or a stall may feel, it will pass. For me, the first few weeks were the toughest adjusting to the new "normal". But I would willingly go through it all again to feel this good. Good luck!

Just what I needed to read, Lynda. Despite what my ticker is reading, I shifted my goal and have about 5 more lbs to go. And can I shift them? Nope.... Need to get some shape back in my eating in the evenings. Party season is taking its toll, not enough that I have gained but enough that I have stopped losing. So will follow ur lead and stop nibbling in the evenings....Fill up with more liquid :-)

You are stunning! Congratulations on the weight loss and the surgery, you must be beyond happy :-)

Me, me, me! I don't think I have ever worn so many layers, day and night, lol. However, having gone from a sweating blob to a cool skinny mini, I know which one I prefer....

Seela It will come! Mine happened at 3 months out for four weeks and that was a real grit-my-teeth and hope-for-the- best period. I just ignored the scale and kept doing what I was doing and suddenly the scale plummeted. Boy was I relieved... But my weight loss wasn't really a smooth downward line - sort of came down like steps and stairs, so I had lots of little mini stalls on the way. Just keep breathing when the scale doesn't move, you usually see inches come off during a stall :-)))

Omg, what a transformation in only 6 months - you look fantastic!

Wow, you are doing so well!!!! That's a brilliant weight loss, no wonder you are finding it hard to believe :-) Since my first visit to doc at end of March, I've lost 82lbs, only got a few pounds to go and I am pretty dazed by that, lol. Sometimes I think we don't stop often enough on our journey to look at just how well we've done - I was always looking at the next target.... Good luck!

Fab, I was equally thrilled to be overweight! Well done, good luck on the homeward straight....

You are absolutely gorgeous! Your pic is stunning and you look soooo young.... :-)

Think you have put your finger on it - you are probably eating too fast and possibly too much. Try taking it a bit more slowly and pause as you drink to let the liquid get down and things should improve. Good luck :-))))