cajunlady68

I am going to be 45 in August, I am a mother of 2 sons 20 and 17. I have never struggled with weight until the last 5 years. In November of 2008 I lost my father to cancer on the 20th, on the 25[sup][size="2"]th[/size][/sup] I had a hysterectomy my world and hormones turned upside down! I have tried HRT which was a horrible experience. But I was told it was only temporary, because of family history. I am one of five children, everyone of my siblings are over weight, and have always been, so was my mother and my father. My mom died at the age of 52 with a massive heart attack, her heart problems started at the age of 45. My fathers first heart attack was at the age of 59, he had a lot of health problems including Hight Blood pressure,diabetes, kidney failure, cataract, glaucoma, etc. Everyone of my siblings are on medication for high blood pressure, my 3 brothers all have diabetes. My sister had gastric by pass surgery 6 years ago, and is slowly gaining it back, due to not exercising and unhealthy eating. My family history alone is the reason I am going forward with my surgery. I have been diagnosed with retinal pigmentous its a rare eye disorder where I will become blind at some point in my life. I have had problems with lymph nodes for the last 10 years, I have had a total of 20 removed, with no diagnoses of why they become inflamed. I have had a growth remove from my scape last year, and I was told only that it was benign. My doctors have come to the conclusion that I have an immune disorder but can't tell me which one. Even after 5 years of testing for everything under the sun. So all of this has lead me to depression, to the point I have no life. I currently weigh 193lbs and have been steady climbing. I want to get my weight under control before it controls my what little life I have. I am currently weighing more then when I was 9 months pregnant, I look like I am 9 months pregnant! That is total unacceptable to me, I have always be a healthy eater. I am unlike most, I don't have a problem with food, I have the opposite I don't eat enough according to my trainer. But when you walk 6 miles a day and eat correctly plus work with trainer 3 days a week an hour a day and you gain weight, for 9 months you lose hope. I had done the fad diets, got on adipex and adderall an nothing I mean nothing helps me drop 1 pound. This is my only hope to regain my life and to guarantee I will live longer then 52. I can live without having my vision, but I can't let my sons live without there mom the way I did. I will take any measures possible, to do my part of staying healthy.