Flutterby

So exciting and scary and wonderful for you! May you be blessed going in and coming out and ever after!

I'm starting at 295 lbs. (5'8") and I'm so READY to do this! Best wishes and speedy recovery to you Helen! We're soon to be joining the ranks of the "Incredible Shrinking Women." My scheduler is supposed to call today to let me know my sleeve date and I'm so nervous and excited. Flutterby (Tammy)

I'm in the very same boat... same waiting game. I am SO ready... I just wanna know the date and start my real countdown to HEALTHY!

I think I've been obsessed for a while now too. Reading online, buying books, doing numerous searches, trying out Protein, planning sample menus, mentally going through the changes this will mean to everyday life and all the occasions that include eating. My husband is my biggest fan and so encouraging and helpful. My children are patient and listen to me talk about it. I am blessed to be so supported by them. I haven't shared it much with other people yet. I want to know it's actually going to happen and I still feel a little like it's a dream because I want it so badly! I'm sure it's common here that being overweight means you are dealing with issues this can cause with health, social life, emotions and self-esteem (to name a few). But when I saw VSG as a REAL option, my focus got clear, my heart got into it, my hopes keep growing, and it's like a deep-seated resolution unlike any I've had before when it comes to getting healthy and losing weight. I'm so READY!!! I've got everything done, just waiting for the clinic to call and tell me when I'll be having the surgery.... it's so hard to be patient. But it's good to read other's experiences and feel supported and understood here!

I'm glad you're asking. I don't have an answer for you, as I'm pre-op and waiting for my surgery date. But, I'm curious about this too. I also wondered about adding barley green powder to smoothies with protein powder and which tastes best.

It's YOUR turn now!!! All the best wishes! I look forward to hearing how great everything goes!

"It ain't over till the fat lady sings" So, I think I'll write a song about this struggle and drama and love/hate relationship with food and my experiences with being obese....errr, I'm FAT...then I'll sing it and it'll be OVER. Ha ha ha... well, maybe not. Maybe I'll change the saying to "It ain't over till the fat lady sleeves!" There are so many things I can't do, or choose not to do because of my weight. It's like a prison in ways (weighs)..and self-imposed sometimes, other times because of things I can't control. Some things are just literally impossible to do. Like running, fitting into a roller coaster seat, etc. Other things I won't do because it embarrasses me to do it or I'm afraid of being judged (wearing shorts, having my picture taken) Silly and sad and vain at times, but true. Singing is one of those things in my life that people say I should do more of. Why don't I? It's because of my weight. I absolutely LOVE to sing, and I believe I'm pretty good at it. My husband even bought me a guitar last Christmas and I attempted to learn to play it three or four times till it made me cry trying to hold it and play it with nearly no lap and a belly that looks like I'm about 7 months pregnant. Then, of course, I feel guilty because it looks like I didn't totally adore him for buying it for me - he loves me to sing. Of course, being overweight doesn't prevent me from singing, physically speaking, other than I seem to have more limits on my lung capacity. There is, however, the lack of energy, and being depressed about being unable to lose weight without WLS and be healthy and realizing how it affects my family and my goals and our future... all add up to mean I don't feel much like singing these days. I admit the way I look affects my self acceptance and esteem. What's there to sing about? Yeah, and the occasional pity party. So, WLS is my "swan song"...lol. I'm gonna be the fat lady singing that my losing battle with FAT is OVER. I'm gonna use this WLS tool to kick the BUTT of obesity in my life! And, this got me to thinking about all those "little things" and "big things" I will be so very happy to do again, or things that will be different (in a good way), whether it's because of the physical limits, or because I choose not to because of my weight and size and my feelings of guilt and frustration for not keeping myself healthy and fit. So, the parts of my life or things that will change or improve when I am at my healthy goal weight --- (from 295 to 150-ish) Energy - Hugs - Clothing - Shoes - Less pain - Marriage - Travel - Sleep - Pictures - Singing - Swelling - Exercise - Activities - Social life - Family get-togethers - Summertime - well, here's some detail...in no particular order and by no means complete: 1. I can walk into a "normal people" department store and find a cute dress that fits me. How happy I will feel... because I will always remember what it was like before, at 300 lbs.... (No more crying in the dressing room, I have to get a bigger size? good grief, how hard it is to move around just to change clothes because I'm sweating and it's a small space and the mirror is mean to me.) 2. I can wear cute shoes. I can wear strappy sandals. I can wear heels. I can put shoes on without holding my breath. (No more "supportive" shoes for plantar faciitis-hopefully, so no more heel pain and knee pain, hip pain that presently prevent the heels and cute shoes I want to wear) 3. I can sleep.. fall asleep for a nap anywhere... spend the night anywhere. Sleep will be good. (No more CPAP needed. Sleep Apnea cured.) 4. Climb stairs, walk fast, walk all day shopping (No more getting totally out of breath to the point I black out or wheezing like I am dying) 5. Fit in things/seats.... - be it plane, train, roller coaster... or restaurant booth, movie theater, desk chair, swing, stadium seat. (No more fear of breaking a chair, not fitting and being told I'm too heavy, no more pain in chairs that are not big enough for me, no fear of the terribly judgmental looks from passengers on a plane or train as they see me get on - hoping I'm not sitting next to them...uugghh) 6. ENERGY ... Oh my, that one applies to so many areas - or every area of life. 7. Sex ... I'll leave the details unsaid - but this is a priority. It's gonna be better than my present weight allows it to be. 8. Mom & Grandmother things - My grown children are close to marrying age and in serious relationships which means upcoming weddings and not too many years till they'll be having kids, too. The thought of being healthy, energetic and active for the future is great motivation here too. 9. Long life - My husband and I have been married three years this July. It's not our first go-around, and we have a LOT of things to enjoy as we grow together and we want a long, enjoyable future - not one filled with pain, health problems and limitations. 10. I'll SING - I have committed to pursue this talent in a way that will be personally fulfilling and hopefully inspirational. It's not that I can't sing now, while I'm overweight... but I feel as though losing my excess weight will be like a curtain lifting to reveal the "me" I've been all along, but finally I admitted needing help to find again. So many more... but for now, that's what I'll remind myself of today. This is why the surgery will be worth it. The pain, the challenge, the new habits, the struggles, the day to day choices, the realization and commitment to the lifestyle changes, and the milestones that may come slowly. Flutterby (it's gotta be what butterflies were really called first... there it goes, fluttering by) and I'm coming out of this cocoon too... soon!

Curvy, Thank you so much. I appreciate your advice and your insight. My husband has probably told me many times the exact same things you have written to me. I don't understand, if it's true, why can't I see it like he does, like other people have told me too. Why do I tend to focus on what's lacking, or where I've failed, or where things could be better. But I know I WANT to be beautiful and there are things I truly love about myself. You're so right - I am and I know many big women that are beautiful inside and out. When I was younger and skinny, I still struggled with things I didn't like about my looks. So I know I have to deal with this and learn to accept and appreciate everything about myself no matter what size or shape my body is. Thank you again for the encouragement and push I definitely need to settle into my beauty and love myself now. Perhaps my choice to get healthy is part of learning to love me, too. I'm worth it, because I AM beautiful. Whew, that's hard to say out loud... makes me feel conceited or deluded. I'm definitely a work in process. editing - 5/2/13 - by the way, Curvy - You're a beautiful woman too. I was glancing through my comments and posts and friends and general reading and realized I hadn't told you that.

Make my own luck, I've heard that about opera singers. I've never been trained and have often wondered what it would be like to get some training. Perhaps my reluctance to sing has made me miss some of my "best work" while being overweight. Who knows? I have a feeling my inner struggle with self-acceptance is what hinders my talents being expressed fully rather than my weight. I hope your confidence grows as you get healthy and overcome! I hope mine does as well!

That's so wonderful! I bet it feels really good to be losing, even if it's slower than you hoped. I am still pre-op and cannot WAIT to be where you are. Just a matter of time and you'll be at goal. Congratulations!

That's what I was thinking. I'll be glad to be able to use them both, too. I know the protein is high and the probiotics are so helpful for digestion and absorption.

Hi y'all. I'm pretty new here and I've tried to research to see if I can find my answers to questions in the forum before I ask something you've all discussed before. It's been great. I'm sure after reading many posts in this part of the forum that many, probably most, in this community have experience with searching for and learning how, or at least strongly desiring to eat healthy. It seems to be a logical theme involved in the search for weight loss to find what is the right way to nourish our bodies. Right? I know that proper nutrition and feeding my body correctly is a huge desire in me and has been most of my life. I have forever wanted and tried to get more close to eating right. And, of course, there are many different opinions about what "right" is and it varies with each individual - to an extent. I was raised by parents that were farmer's kids. We had garden fresh veggies growing up and I've grown my own several years. I was raised with access to grass fed beef, free range chicken and fruit trees. In addition my grandmother health supplements from a very good company and so I was basically raised on taking them. Obviously, I wouldn't be here if just having access to all these things had kept me from becoming morbidly obese. Even though that didn't solve my particular issues with food or health or weight, I don't feel it was all in vain. I still find much value in what I've learned and I still want to incorporate all that resonates as healthy even after (especially after) I am sleeved. I still think I have added value to my life by learning how to make and how to enjoy eating/drinking things like home made yogurt, kefir (water and milk), kombucha, cultured foods and bone broth and marrow. I still believe in adding chia seeds, kelp powder, barley green powder, apple cider vinegar to my diet. I've seen some conversations here about chia seeds, so I know several of you are familiar with them. That's so encouraging to me. I've read a few posts where kefir was mentioned too, but not home made. So, I was just curious if anyone here has experience with incorporating kefir, kombucha, cultured foods, and the other things I've mentioned after you were sleeved and got past the full liquid diet. I've even wondered about kefir being a good addition during full liquids since it is so high in Protein and probiotics.

I think you're right. Thanks! I have noticed that yogurt is included in the allowable foods when full liquids start and that's great. I was a little curious if there were others that made their own and if they had to make any sort of modifications, etc also.

How long has it been? How long since I felt like I was the right size and weight and everything about my body was acceptable? And, bigger question... Where did this bloated, waddling, unhealthy, wide loaded woman come from that keeps showing up in my mirror and in pictures that get taken with my family? Looking in the mirror is so hard, especially in the evenings when I'm getting ready for bed and seeing "all my glory" and realizing I really am as big and ugly fat and tired looking as I feel. Arrrrggghhh! Is that really me? How did I let myself get to this point? I sit in a dressing room, my cute little teenage daughter (13) trying on adorable trendy little outfits and dresses. I see her spin and pose as she gets in a pink princess thing. She walks back in to try another one on. I'm sitting on a bench holding several hangers of other dresses and feeling tired, again. I look over at the mirror and see myself and I lose it. I cry and almost start sobbing right then and there. It hurts so bad. I used to look like her and I thought I was fat. Is that what doomed me to this? Was it because I didn't thank God for how I looked then? Did I take it for granted? Honestly, I have thought I was fat from eighth grade (5'7", 130 lbs) when I began to get taller and a little wider in the hips than my little petite and pretty and girly classmates. That's the same age as my youngest daughter. I already hear occasional little comments she makes of herself and things that are not just perfect. I want to make her see how beautiful she is and embrace it! When I look back at pictures from that time in my life (high school years), I wanna go back and slap her (myself) silly for not appreciating how pretty I was. I really had such an adorable figure. No, I didn't have much in the way of boobs, but I had curves in other "right places." I got attention from boys. I looked great and was tall and thin really, until I had my second child at 22. In all truth, I know a lot of the explanations and reasons that I am in this place physically. I know there are a variety of things to blame from four pregnancies, perhaps a few medical causes, nutritionally bad choices, laziness, pain, bad marriage, stress, genetics, environment, and probably a few I haven't read about or dealt with yet. Now in the last three years I come to the point where I have these little break downs like in the dressing rooms multiple times, or getting ready for a night out or to go to church and just sit in my closet and cry and hate myself. I've done it getting out of bed (rather, heaving myself out). Mentally being in a state of fury at my limitations that I know are self-imposed when I try to help my daughter move out of her college apartment and I can't even carry a 15 pound box down a flight of stairs without having to rest 10 minutes and huff and puff like I ran a mile. This place is my "low point"... my "end of the rope". I'm at the bottom and exhausted enough to finally admit I need MAJOR HELP. And THAT is what brought me to WLS and specifically VSG. There is a change in my focus that has helped me transition slowly, day by day from disgust with where I let my weight go and my new found hope and belief in myself I have begun to feed little by little with that hope. I can do this... I can do this... I really can be healthy and fit again. There is a tool I can use that I never really considered. Thanks to where I am in my life, the fact that we have good insurance through my husband's job and the support and encouragement he has showered on me constantly... I'm ready. I'm feeling that by this time next year, I'll be looking in mirrors and pictures and saying "WOW, I knew that pretty girl was still in there somewhere under all the fat."

This is one of the issues I know I will face post op. I'm still pre-op and probably a month or more away from surgery. The office where I work buys or cooks all of us lunch every day. There are occasionally healthy choices like a fresh made salad or grilled steaks or chicken and steamed (actually boiled, lol) veggies, etc... but most of the time it's burgers and fries, or fried chicken, or pizza, etc. I resorted to bringing my lunch long ago and just remind myself that it isn't that much of a cost vs. the "free" and unhealthy lunches here. The smells are what I worry about. I have been eating low carb for nearly 3 years now and have learned to leave off processed foods, sugar, soda, etc. The cravings have disappeared for those things. But I am thinking post-op, the smells may very well trigger the mental hunger I've been reading about. I'm one of those people that felt like if I just smell bacon, I gain two pounds... Perhaps the smells are related to memory too. I'm not sure how to deal with the mental and emotional aspects of food yet. I have a feeling it's pretty personal and often unique to each of us.

I'm still waiting on my surgery date... hopefully by the end of May or some time in June I'll be sleeved. But doing the closet purge is one the most favorite things I look forward to. I have thought I may go to Goodwill to shop for smaller clothes at the same time I'm dropping off my donations. Sometimes they have some very decent things to buy and in our area are very inexpensive. I'm thinking that way, I won't have to shell out lots of money on new smaller transition clothes that I'll end up bringing right back to donate as I lose more weight... lol. Then, when I get within 20 lbs of goal, my hubby has promised to hire a stylist and get me a whole new wardrobe... never in my life have I been so excited about something like that...

Jamilaha, Thank you so much. I totally understand what you mean. I live in a rural area and this group is the closest to a "support group" I will likely have. I do realize we are each individual and unique in our body, our particular past and our journey to get healthy.

I'm Tammy ~ 45 yrs old ~ 5'8" tall ~ 295 lbs ~ size 24 (4X) ~ BMI 44.8 ~ Goal 157 lbs. This is the beginning of my weight loss surgery journey. I have been to my first appointment (4/3/13). I have had my consult with dietitian, financial liaison, doctor and psychologist. I am now waiting to be contacted to schedule the surgery. I'm seeing Dr. Scott Stowers in Ft. Worth, TX This is definitely not the beginning of my battle with my weight and health, of course. I've gone through the courses of action, diets, exercise plans, and every method I could afford or conceive of without medical intervention in the pursuit of fitness and health. Just like so many here, in that way we find common ground. I am excited about the prospect of actually losing weight. I mean, I see it as a real possibility that I can be healthy and fit. It's not just a pipe dream! I see and believe the stories and testimonies here. Real people are doing this and it is working. I have hope again. I have real desire to the point of a constant lump in my throat as I contemplate my "after" pictures and how I will feel getting to that point. I want to be a part of this welcoming, informative, friendly, supportive community. I look forward to getting to know new friends and learning from the advice and encouragement and insight offered here. ~Tammy

Hi Inyisa, What a pretty name! Thank you for replying and I hope you get your approval soon and get scheduled and sleeved! I am hoping to get a call any day from the doctor's office...

Hi, it's nice to meet you too. I so know the feelings your having of nervousness, anxiety, excitement and fears. It's a very emotionally charged process. It's stressful, with a hopeful and positive goal, but still stressful nonetheless. Right now I'm just wanting to get my date set firmly. I estimate around May 20 because that was the approximate possible date I was told at my first appointment. Your surgery is so close! I wish you the best and fast recovery and may you lose weight fast and steady and get back to living healthy and fit. I agree the risks of being overweight any longer are much worse than the risks of surgery. The benefits are probably so much more than we even realize fully yet.

Hi Kat2774, I am new here to this community today too. I swear I didn't intentionally copy your topic heading. I didn't notice our title was identical until I had posted mine and saw yours a few entries below it. I guess it's a common thought to be beginning our journey. I wish you the very best success!! Tammy