OnlyDownFromHere

Just wanted to say, I've discussed this in therapy before. Not just here. I first looked into weight loss surgery in 2010. I needed it then too! At the time, I looked at the bypass. Thank goodness I didn't end up getting it because I feel the sleeve is better. Beside the whole dumping issue and the malnutrition issue, another big reason I opted not to have the surgery was because I was single and afraid to date again at a normal weight. Let me explain more. Fast forward to now, I am now in a relationship of over 2 years with my best friend of 7 years. We live together. Neither of us want children and I'm ambivalent about marriage but he wants to stay with me for life. He wanted to be with me when I weighed almost 240 at the time, and he was this 120 lb, thin, multi talented musician who could had good looking girls vying to date him, but he chose me. Now, at almost 290 lb, I am fully ready, mentally and otherwise, for surgery. I do not think if I were single, I could do this. I guess my worries are/were that I am disgusted with the idea of dating someone who wouldn't give me the time day now at my current weight. I know my boyfriend loves me now and will love me when I am lighter. He is not superficial. I fear if I get this surgery and were single or became single, I could never really date in confidence because I think any and all guys who give me attention at a lighter weight would have never looked my way at a heavier weight. I can't put into words how much it bothers me. I want to know that the person I'm with will love me at any size, in any condition, as I would them. I'm very thankful for my boyfriend and his love and his support. I have faith in our relationship but I do dread it not working on the because I don't know if I ever could trust anyone else to love me for me. Anyone else feel the same way? Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I'm pre op. I'm 23. BMI 43. I've been told (by people who don't know me very well) that people my size HAVE to have emotional eating issues to get this big. But I don't think I have those issues. When I am sad/angry/disappointed, I usually tend to eat less because I withdrawal a little into myself. My therapist doesn't believe I emotionally eat either. My family is not large like me and we don't have things centered on food. Do I overeat? Absolutely! I struggle a lot with insulin hunger (I have PCOS and insulin resistance) but I also just plain love food! I just love how most things taste! I'll overeat sometimes because I love the taste and I think I'm addicted to that. Okay, so one time, I got a horrible sinus infection that rendered me unable to smell or taste for 2 weeks. My boyfriend made a new African dish with chicken and exotic spices and I couldn't bear to eat even a bite since I couldn't taste it. I actually cried because it looked so amazing and I just wanted to taste it and I couldn't! I ended up losing 5lb because I couldn't eat anything without taste. Is anyone else like me? I'm a total foodie. I love to cook and experiment. How has surgery affected your foodie-ness? Am I at a disadvantage because I love food and eat because I love to eat not because of feelings? I am frustrated because I look up stuff about food addiction but a lot of it has to do with emotional issues. I just love eating too much. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Yeah the nexplanon works a lot like Mirena. Progesterone only, slowly released, lasts for years. The only difference is that it's not in the uterus. Nexplanon was not offered to me by my ob gyn. If it were, I probably would have done it. For now, I'm happy with my Mirena. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

My current therapist has worked with patients who have undergone surgery and have needed therapy during that but admittedly it's not her specialty. I like her for other reasons though. I'm not currently attending a bariatric support group as I am an evening and night worker and it always conflicts with work. So I've never been. Not sure if it would be much help though. I don't know where to find such a therapist. Obviously I overeat sometimes and have my own issues with food but I am working on that with my therapist... But I do not have an eating disorder. I'm not a binger, nor do I purge or starve myself at any time. Body issues? Sure. I have some serious reservations about being thin again (I was thin through childhood) but I know I have to do this before my health gets even worse and because I want to do certain activities again. But yeah, I don't know who else to go to. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

OP I forgot to add, you can still have thanksgiving dinners and nice times with food. Just not as much food. I am still pre op but have been struggling with insulin resistance for 5 years. I have been forced to give up carbs. Part of it is that I simply can't tolerate my metformin in high doses so carbs make me feel sick... I've cut back a lot. I'll eat m turkey (white meat) at thanksgiving with green Beans but will only have a single serving (1/2 cup) of mashed potatoes... No rolls or pie because I feel sick. And I can't have seconds of carbs. I can overeat turkey though, unfortunately. I anticipate I'll be cutting a lot more after surgery but honestly, what I'm doing now, it's not that bad. You get used to it. I think I like turkey more now! Things will be okay we will all adjust. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Yep, pretty much. Sadly, nothing in life is guaranteed. You have to give it your all but be prepared for the worst too. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I'm always aware of the possibility that any relationship can end, any at all. That's just me. I've never felt "Oh we'll never ever break up and be together forever!" I was single before him and also had other relationships but felt fine in that I felt I could use my weight to "screen" guys. Any relationship has the potential to end and if mine did, I worry that I won't have my weight anymore to weedle out superficial men. That's really about it. I'm currently working it over in therapy but I feel like my therapist doesn't really know what to say. It's just one of those things I guess. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Thanks. I wasn't sure how well my thread would be received. Like you, I didn't care about being popular when I was younger. I still don't care about it now, really. It's a silly concept. I certainly don't thrive on male attention. I find men flirting with me now, when I have a boyfriend, gross and unwanted. I guess I worry, like, if I had to date, how would I weedle out the superficial ones? And you're right, bottom line, I'm not happy. For many reasons but my weight is a moderately big one. I know I won't be completely happy after the surgery but I will be at least somewhat happier when the weight is gone and I am healthy again. I've missed out on activities I used to enjoy. My boyfriend and I used to bike. Can't do that anymore! Can't ski. Or hunt with my father. He Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I got and love it. I actually had no issues with the Pill but had to go off of for surgery. I'm pre op and got off of it well in advance. I also have PCOS. Can't comment on the fertility issue as I haven't tried because I don't want kids, ever! But my symptoms have been okay. I have seen an increase in acne but have managed to keep it down by changing my skin care regimen. No biggie. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

You had one chocolate. That's a good thing not a bad thing. I almost think it's better to have one tiny piece and feel satisfied than to never have any at all. Everyone is going to be exposed to foods they want but it's beat to have a morsel and be fine with that then to actively avoid and either make yourself miserable or binge later. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Anyone else have it? I have it through my employer. Getting the surgery at the same hospital I work at too. I am meeting with the surgeon in a couple months but I'm told already by the PA that I shouldn't have any problems, by the looks of it. I didn't have to lose weight. I'm 43 BMI, age 23, with a couple comorbidities. My cholesterol is high, my LDL is high, I have insulin resistance. They made me have at least 5-6 weigh ins, which I have done already. I guess I'm worried about history. My PCP wrote my letter stating I have over 5 years of being obese. I have maybe 3 years documented at that one hospital of me being at least 37 (37 was my lowest, mostly been 40+) BMI with my comorbids, but I didn't see a doctor much in college, but I was obese that whole time. Thoughts? Also wonder if age would be an issue. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I have not been diagnosed with GERD but I suspect I have it. I had to go for a chest xray 2 months ago because I aspirated my vomit in my sleep. I've been taking PPIs ever since. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Butterflyhigh, From what I've read, you can still drink a little wine 1+ year post op but not everyday, just very occasionally, and not a whole glass. I drink only very occasionally and don't intend to give up alcohol completely. Vix, Yeah insulin resistance is usually cured when you lose a lot of weight. The thing is, it's hard to lose weight when you're insulin resistant. Catch 22 right? I have no doubt that insulin hunger has contributed to my weight today, although it's definitely not the sole cause. It's hard though because the one symptom I can't stand is nausea. If something makes me nauseous a few times, like a food, I'll never want to eat it again. Sadly, it has made it so I am not compliant with any Metformin dose over 500mg. I've never been able to get through the sweating, shakes, and nausea that I feel on that dosage. But metformin has not caused me to lose much of any weight anyway. I can't wait to kick this insulin resistance. For me it's truly the worst part of PCOS. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I like that... food being a friend, not a lover. When I was younger, before I got really big, I used to love Lean Cuisines. I'd eat one and be done, maybe a little fruit. I want to get back to that. It sucks being hungry a lot of the time. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Yeah I can't believe it's all coming together! When do you meet with your surgeon? Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Nutritionist just approved me!!!! I meet with the surgeon in August. Later than I would have liked, but I am still happy. I have BCBS through my employer and the bariatric PA says I shouldn't have a problem. Psych eval? Done. BMI is 43 and I have one comorbidity (insulin resistance) because I have PCOS. Nutrition is done. PCP letter is done. Had my Mirena put in for birth control (got off the pill). Oh god oh god oh god. I'm finally going to be healthy! BTW my nutritionist said my triglycerides (118) were very, very good and she rarely sees them that good in pre-op patients. She says it shows that I am doing well with limiting my carbs. I have been been eating rather low-card for about 3 years now so that made me feel really good.

I'm thinking it will be worth it too. I am trying to grieve the loss at least partially before it happens. It will be a struggle but I need to be healthy so I don't get diabetes or set myself up for an early death or painful life. That's the only real reason I'm doing this. I love food but not enough to die for it. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I love the idea of being able to afford expensive, high quality ingredients, like amazing cheese. How do you get yourself to be mentally satisfied with a small amount of food? I'm sure that is difficult! I struggle so much with hunger, a lot of it from insulin resistance. I never had this until I got insulin resistance. It's horrible. I want to be satisfied with just a tiny bit but I'm worried I won't get used to it. Thanks for the input btw guys. It really helps. I don't currently have a group to go to. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I worry I am going to stretch it because I don't feel satisfied and want to taste more. Then again I can't stand nausea or stomach pain and I know that wold happen but I still worry. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

But how come I've been to therapy (still going) plus nutritional counseling and neither them nor me think I do this? I've journaled, etc. I just eat too much of things I like, some of which are healthy and some that aren't. All delicious. I don't eat much when I'm upset. I don't snack (my nutritionist tells me I should but I can't), I don't even eat special food on holidays (my family doesn't really do anything and I don't go to parties). I'll eat to the point that it's a bit uncomfortable because it tastes so good. I think I am addicted to food but to the taste not because I'll eat anything when I'm sick. I don't believe this is a one size fits all. If it were, why wouldn't my therapists tell me so? Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I'm a meat addict. And I love cheese. And dark chocolate. I like carbs but feel sick if I eat them so I avoid them cause I can't stand nausea. I had a craving for moist cake today but I managed to fight it off and drink coffee instead. I've only been to weekly individual therapy. I would go to a support group but the one near me meets once a month and it conflicts with my work (I work evenings and nights only). If I worked days it would work but nope. So I'll probably have to continue with individual therapy only after my surgery because that's what works. So yeah, this site is the only real connection I have to anyone who is doing the surgery too. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

Please don't get mad at me for asking! For me, for my whole life, throwing up is one of the worst things for me, ever. It is the worst sensation and just thinking about it makes me shudder. I do anything to avoid it. Thankfully I am not squeamish. But I've had to stop taking certain meds that cause severe nausea because of it, including some pain meds. Same with a couple foods. I just can't enjoy them at all. Is throwing up with a sleeve more painful? Is there more dry heaving? What food in tolerances have you developed that have caused vomiting? The vomit issue was one of the reasons why I choose not to go with the RNY. Puking very often, especially in the beginning, would be horrible. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

There's also Paraguard, which is an IUD without hormones. I would have stayed on the Pill but had to be off of it for surgery cause of the blood clots. The IUD is just as effective. There really isn't another more effective method you can use that's appropriate for surgery other than the IUD. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. I meant the Pill. He wanted me to stop the BC pill prior to surgery and stay off for many months after. No oral birth control at all because the blood clot risk. Mirena is an IUD and is effective against pregnancy so I had that put in. It also is acceptable to have in during the surgery. Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST

My boyfriend has been my best friend since early high school (together for 2 years, living together) and we're in our early 20s. Our sex life is good. I'm curious as to how our relationship will change, if at all. He's seen me go from very overweight to morbidly obese. I was overweight long before we met. I know he's not a chubby chaser (his ex was petite) but I'm wondering how dramatic weight loss will change our relationship or attraction. Does it? Sent from my DROID RAZR using VST