LipstickLady

It's actually quite an interesting phenomenon. Correct me if I'm wrong, as I'm sure you will. I've never seen someone who chooses not to tell attempt to "shame" people who choose to share. In turn, there are almost always some who choose to share attempting to "shame" those who don't. I wonder why?

perhaps it would be a good idea to evaluate how you share these ideas. I have seen the people you speak of. they don't usually stay around very long - but you have been here long enough to not get down on that level. When you say things like labeling a group "tellers" you imply that everyone who tells their story is of that same ilk. rather than saying something like "some who tell" do this or that - where as there are probably a lot of people who do not tell who DO struggle with shame, and embarrassment as reasons to not share (I believe to their own detriment as most of this battle is in our minds and emotions) but I do not assume, and try very hard to come across as not assuming that *everyone* who chooses not to tell is in that group. some people are just very private, and others have their own reasons for not sharing. when you lump a whole group of people together like that what we say in the south : "you were showing your a$$". and no one cares to see that even if you bedazzle it. You are absolutely correct! My apologies. I'm one who detests sweeping generalizations so I did choose my words poorly. I've even started topics denouncing it. I definitely should have said SOME tellers. I've no issue with correcting myself -- bedazzled azz or not. It's a shame that some of those above who have already implied untruths on the behalf of those of us who don't share would never dream of doing the same.

I love that some people choose to share! No doubt you are doing a great service to some people who may need the enlightenment. I applaud your efforts, sincerely. That said, after four years of many reincarnations of this thread, I am prepped and ready to hear how I am a liar, how I am ashamed of WLS, how it's my **duty** to educate others, etc. Not all sharers do the above, but I can already see it rearing it's lovely head. Just putting it all on fast forward. I'd hate for someone who is unsure about the whole decision to share/not share feel "shamed" (popular word on this site) to do so if they are not comfortable with it. You can always share later, you can never unshare.

I simply tell people I eat less (truth), move more (truth) and follow a low carb diet (truth). No "stories" to remember, simple and to the point, and 100% factual. No shame in my game. (That's usually the next thing "tellers" start throwing out there.) (Oh. And no, it's not my duty to educate other fatties on the joys of WLS. That will be after the shame part.)

It's not a secret, it's simply no one's business but my own. And no, that does not make me a liar. (My absolute favorite comment from people who choose to share differently.)

I'm the same me, I just don't take up as much room, I no longer float well, and snuggling is a priority as I am perpetually cold.

Do you have a Which Wich? OH EM GEE!! It's great. The choices are numerous and they have SO many more toppings to choose from. Also, they will "skinny your wich" for you, which means they hollow out the soft part of the bread, leaving you with just the shell. I still take off the bottom half of the bread and can't finish even half, but it's a great compromise on bread vs. no bread.

Just don't eat the full 6", they're watching haha Best, Sanju No, "they" aren't. But "they" will give you "their" honest opinion if you ask.

Or worse, leave you a voice mail that says, "Hey Lipstick! I have a question for you. Call me back, please!" Usually the question is something stupid and can be answered in 5 words or less, but they WILL NOT just leave the question. Unnecessary phone tag is the result.

It's on the refrigerator section near the chicken salad, rotisserie chickens, food prepped at costco. It's delish. I add thinly sliced red onion, fresh lime juice and chunks of avocado.

FTFY.

Frozen edamame cheese Guacamole Cilantro shrimp salad cheese Frozen salmon fruit veggies 3 bean salad cheese beer Almonds cheese Tate's Bake Shop Cookies (ssshhhhhhhh...) cheese Tons of great options and a full lunch of samples while you shop!

Oh! Is this where we get to list our educational/professional credentials? Is that akin to whipping it out and measuring? How fun! I call front row view!!What are you talking about? I mentioned earlier that I was working on lecture. An invitation to class is just that.And while we are playing that game, no thank you, students earn an A in my class. Sitting in the front for a closer look at it won't help you through this one honey. Best, Sanju (It's called a joke.)What amazing timing and delivery! THANKS!! I am well loved for my wit and amazing sense of humor. Oh, and when I want to "end" a thread? I just stop responding. It's a cool trick. I can't stop others from chattering on, but that doesn't mean I have to participate.

Oh! Is this where we get to list our educational/professional credentials? Is that akin to whipping it out and measuring? How fun! I call front row view!!What are you talking about? I mentioned earlier that I was working on lecture. An invitation to class is just that. And while we are playing that game, no thank you, students earn an A in my class. Sitting in the front for a closer look at it won't help you through this one honey. Best, Sanju (It's called a joke.)

Start with three minutes and add three more every few days. You need to build your wind! An elliptical works muscles you didn't know you had.

Oh! Is this where we get to list our educational/professional credentials? Is that akin to whipping it out and measuring? How fun! I call front row view!!

And quit looking at the scale. Go by how your clothes feel. Another great tool? Find a pair of leggings and a tank top. Stand in a doorway and have someone take your picture front, back and sideways. Do this in the same out fit, from the same distance every week. What you look like is a much better measure than the number on the scale.

A flatbread is 6" long, it has 220 calories, 5 grams of fat and 37 carbs. It's significantly bigger than a slice of bread. Three years out, I could probably eat it over the course of the day, I choose not to. It's not on MY diet plan nor is it a nutritional priority *for me*. Everyone has the right to make their own choices, just as everyone has the right to answer the questions asked.

Shamed? :eye roll: You can't control the words of others, you can only control your reaction. I've never felt "shamed" by a stranger on the Internet, or for that matter, anyone.

You've lost 13 pounds in two weeks. Relax. You're doing great.

Ok... Imma' break down what **I FEEL** happened here. First, you asked a question that you seemingly knew the answer to: A successful WLS patient gave you a thoughtful, detailed answer based on what you had posted in your original post: You clearly did not care for the answer you got, so you added more information and what felt like justification for your meal decision: Because many of us see exactly this sort of behavior around here and it gets a bit tiresome, you got a more blunt response: You got offended, threw out some insults and got a bit huffy. Haha well I was ready to pass this as miscommunication but after reading what the great, high ranked, bariatric God @@Babbs has to say about this, and viewing that my original respondent liked such a immature response of this sort, I can whole heartedly say that there was no miscommunication. This is the definition of shaming someone for being new, and stereotyping me as part of a group I did not know existed. This is immaturity, and says a lot about someone's character. At any given point there are more new members than old members. And at one point, the old members were new members. So, everone, quit passing judgment and putting yourself higher than others. Best, Sanju You can't have your cake and it eat it, too. Or you can. Your choice. Either way, in a forum like this, there are a variety of opinions, communication styles and levels support. Some people coddle, some help justify, some exude warm fuzzy, some are blunt. Take what you need, leave the rest. Remember, the answers aren't just for you, but for other readers current and future, as well. Best!

Okay, 1. My doctor allows my 40-60 carbs a day because I train as a wrestler. Your guidelines are yours. 2. A "boatload" of food for you, you cannot eat that much. But for me, I just did. I do not feel like I'm uncomfortably full, I feel normal. Don't apply your situation to everyone else when giving advice. 3. Your style of "advice" is not advice, it is condescending. People come here for advice, not to be parented and looked down upon. We are all adults. 4. I track everything. Calories in, calories out. Macros, and micros. My question was simple in nature. If you thought it was too much, too quick, all you needed to do was leave your last bit. You could hold off on the rest. Best, Sanju Sooooo.... If you are so sure, why did you bother to ask? I never stated that I am sure. I said that I was able to eat it, and I did not feel uncomfortable in anyway. I also stated in my second reply that I will take the proportions advice seriously, as for some reason I am able to eat more without feeling the way most of the community may have felt post wls. Best, Sanju Just because you CAN eat it, doesn't mean you should. I mean, I could eat a whole bag of chips today if I wanted to. I could eat a whole pizza over the course of two days. I could eat an entire package of Oreos if I took frequent breaks. I could wash all of it down with sweet tea, soda, fruit juice or any other calorie laden drink, too.

Okay, 1. My doctor allows my 40-60 carbs a day because I train as a wrestler. Your guidelines are yours. 2. A "boatload" of food for you, you cannot eat that much. But for me, I just did. I do not feel like I'm uncomfortably full, I feel normal. Don't apply your situation to everyone else when giving advice. 3. Your style of "advice" is not advice, it is condescending. People come here for advice, not to be parented and looked down upon. We are all adults. 4. I track everything. Calories in, calories out. Macros, and micros. My question was simple in nature. If you thought it was too much, too quick, all you needed to do was leave your last bit. You could hold off on the rest. Best, Sanju Sooooo.... If you are so sure, why did you bother to ask?

I love it when someone posts a question and wants no answers that don't specifically meet their needs.